“Mark?” she asked, her eyes widening with shock.
I tried to reply, but couldn’t. It felt like my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth.
“We’ve got two in here,” Eph murmured into the comm as he looked over my shoulder. “Cecilia and a newborn baby.”
“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you,” Forrest growled. He didn’t have to specify who he was speaking to.
“I didn’t know,” I rasped, still staring at Cecilia. “Jesus Christ.”
Chapter 3
Cecilia
It felt like I was staring at a ghost. His face had greasepaint all over the skin not covered by a full beard, and he was about a thousand times broader than when we were kids—but I’d know his blue eyes, the nose that slanted slightly to the left from being broken by a right cross when we were fourteen, and the wide mouth that had gotten him teased—anywhere. I’d know him anywhere.
“Time to move,” the man behind him said. When Mark didn’t even shift his weight, too busy staring right back at me, the man shoved his way into the closet and extended his hand. “I’m Ephraim. Let me help you up.”
I shook my head, trying to make sense of things, and lowered my weapon. “Sorry,” I murmured as I pressed the safety and stashed it back in my purse. “Give me a second.”
Reaching around the baby, who was still nursing drowsily, I grabbed first the bag and then my purse, slinging them over my shoulder.
“I can get those for you,” Ephraim said, reaching for my stuff.
“No, thanks, I got it.” I used my free hand to brace myself as I rolled to my knees, barely holding back a groan. I was stiff and sore from sitting on the floor for so long, but I wasn’t about to complain. As soon as I was on my feet, Mark snapped out of his daze.
“Let me help you,” he said, taking the bags from me without waiting for a response. “Come on.”
Holding the baby snug against my body, I followed Mark out of the closet.
“Wait,” I said, jerking to a stop. “I left a dirty diaper in there on the floor.”
“Don’t think they’re gonna mind,” Mark said.
“Nice save,” Ephraim said at the same time. “Better to leave no trace you were here.”
“You better get it the fuck together,” a new man muttered to Mark, taking a couple steps forward. He looked at me. “I’m Josiah. Glad you’re okay.”
“Got it,” Ephraim said, holding the diaper. “Let’s go.”
The house was eerily quiet as we moved through the hallway and down the stairs. It reminded me of when windstorms would knock out the power back home. Sometimes it would take hours for the electric company to get the lines fixed, and the house would be so quiet while we waited, like a tomb.
“Takin’ her out the back,” Mark murmured too quiet for anyone but me to hear.
“Who are you talking to?” I asked quietly.
Turning to me, he lifted a finger to his lips. I nodded.
As we made our way through the kitchen, Mark stuffed his hand inside my bag and rummaged around for a minute. When he didn’t find what he was looking for, he stopped. Setting the bag and purse down on the floor, he unzipped his hoodie and quickly pulled it off.
“It’s cool out,” he said, his mouth so close to my ear I could feel his breath. “Put this on.”
I didn’t stop to question him. Letting him hold the sweatshirt for me, I carefully shifted the baby from one arm to the other so I could get the sleeves on. When I was done, he gently zipped us both inside.
“All good,” a woman whispered from the doorway, motioning for us to follow her out.
I had no idea who these people were or how the hell Mark Eastwood fit into it all, but I followed them blindly anyway. What did they say about the devil you knew? Leave it to my father to send a savior in the form of the last person in the world I’d ever want to see.
I didn’t question it when they ushered me toward the trees to the side of the house instead of the driveway, and I didn’t say a word as I ducked and weaved through branches and leaves, but when we came to a six foot high fence I balked.
“There’s no way I’m going over that thing,” I said seriously. Inside my sweater, the baby’s mouth went lax as she fell fully asleep.
“Piece of cake,” Ephraim said. When he smiled, his teeth were startlingly white against the dark of the greasepaint.
“No, really,” I replied, looking at the fence again as I reached inside the sweatshirt and pulled my sports bra back over my boob and my t-shirt down. “Not happening.”
“This ain’t our first rodeo,” Josiah said. “The wall is about ten inches thick at the top. We’ll lift you up to straddle it, someone else will help you on the other side.”
“This is insane,” I sputtered.
“It’ll be fine,” Josiah reassured me.
Just as I started to take a step backward, because no fucking way was I going to attempt that wall while carrying a baby, a hand on my lower back made me freeze.
“Can’t use the front gate,” Mark said in my ear. “This is the only way out of here.”
I stared at the wall. Okay, logically, I knew I was going over it. I wanted to get the fuck out of there, and if this was how it had to be, then this was how it had to be. However, I honestly didn’t know how in the world I was going to actually do it.
“I’ll hold—” Ephraim came toward me and I jerked backward, instinctively pressing my back against Mark.
“The fuck you will,” I snapped. “She stays with me.”
“Hey,” Josiah said soothingly. “It’s all good, yeah? We’re here to help you.”
“This is takin’ too fuckin’ long,” Mark said shortly.
Before I knew what was happening, I’d taken about five steps forward and I was suddenly turned and lifted into the air. My ass hit the wall with a thump as I yelped.
“Get your balance,” Mark ordered, his hands still bracing my waist. He waited until I was steady before letting me go. Then, in one smooth movement, he hopped the fence. Just seconds later, I was being tugged backward and lowered to the ground.
It was over in less than a minute.
“Told you,” Ephraim said teasingly after he’d cleared the fence. “Piece of cake.”
“Let’s go,” a southern accented voice rumbled from somewhere in the trees.
Four shadows emerged out of the darkness, and I damn near tripped over my own feet.
“Jesus,” I whispered, tugging the baby even closer.
“Load up,” the same voice ordered. “We’ll meet at Chief’s. Different routes. Catch you on the flip side.”
I was ushered into a dark SUV as the two groups split up, and before I knew it, we’d made it out of Liv’s neighborhood and were flying down the freeway.
“Call your pop,” Mark ordered, his voice startling in the silent car. “Let him know you’re safe.”
I nodded and reached for my purse that was stashed near his feet. Without another word, he lifted it up and set it on the seat between us.
The phone rang and rang with no answer, but I hadn’t expected one. If my parents were on the road, they wouldn’t be able to answer until they’d found somewhere to stop.
“Thank you,” I rasped before clearing my throat. “Thank you for coming to get us. I don’t understand how—”
“Casper called me,” Mark said. Yeah, I’d figured that much out already.
“But why?” I prodded. “Who are these people? What the hell?”
“This is what we do,” the southern guy said from the driver’s seat. “Get people out of sticky situations.”
I looked at Mark for clarification, but he ignored me.
“You’re some kind of commando?” I asked dubiously.
The woman who’d ushered us out of the house earlier laughed and turned to the side so she could see me from the passenger seat. “Oh, yeah, he’s a regular Rambo.”
“Shut it, Lu,” Mark muttered.
“What the fuck is happening right now?” I sai
d under my breath, shaking my head. The whole situation was surreal. It felt like one of the vivid nightmares I’d had when I was pregnant.
“Who were those people?” Mark asked, as I pinched my leg just to be sure I was awake. “How the fuck did you get caught up in that shit?”
It wasn’t necessarily the words he’d used, but his tone that made my back snap straight. “I wasn’t caught up in anything,” I shot back. “I was in the wrong place at the wrong fucking time.”
“Understatement, Cecilia.”
“Liv’s a friend—” I caught myself. “Was a friend. A good one.”
Mark didn’t say a word as he glanced down at where I’d unzipped the hoodie so baby girl had room to get some air. I could tell he wanted to ask more questions, but he didn’t, so I didn’t offer up any more information. The SUV was quiet as we weaved our way through the county toward Mark’s house.
Dammit, I really didn’t want to go to his place. Dread mixed with the relief of escaping the closet.
I didn’t want to see where he lived, whether he had a bachelor pad or his place felt like a home. I didn’t want to know what kind of life he lived. I knew he kept in touch with people back home because I’d heard his name mentioned in passing more than once, but I never, ever stayed around long enough to hear more than that. I couldn’t. I’d survived and thrived to that point because I didn’t know those things, because I’d completely distanced myself from him.
The whole night had been one horrendous horror show, and I knew the full weight of it hadn’t hit me yet. I was still running on pure adrenalin. I recognized the feeling—the racing heartbeat and hyper-vigilance. While logically I understood that we were no longer in danger, nothing felt safe yet. We were still, for all intents and purposes, on the run. As I stared out the window, I wondered if I’d ever feel settled again.
“Home sweet home,” the driver said as he pulled into the driveway of an older, ranch style house. “I’ll grab the gear out of the back.”
“Thank fuck we didn’t have to use any of it,” the woman said as she threw open her door. “Easiest night we’ve had in a while.”
I grit my teeth and refused to reply to her comment. It was an easy night for her? Congratu-fucking-lations. So glad that one of the worst nights of my life had been a piece of cake for her.
I clenched my jaw and grabbed my purse off the seat. Climbing out of the SUV to stand awkwardly beside it, I stared at Mark’s house like it was going to bite me. God, I didn’t want to go in there. I was so grateful for everything they’d done, so relieved that we were okay and they’d come to save us, but what I wanted more than anything was to get as far away from Mark Eastwood as I could, before the weight of the past was thrown on top of the weight of the present and I suffocated.
“Come on,” Mark ordered. I drug my feet as he led me to a door between the detached garage and the house.
The door opened into a kitchen, and I catalogued it without conscious thought. While it wasn’t a complete bachelor pad, it wasn’t exactly homey, either. The dining room table was covered in newspaper, and on top of that was some sort of rusty car part, but the kitchen counters were clean and there was even a half-burned candle sitting between the burners on the stove. I couldn’t imagine Mark actually buying a candle at the store. Did he sniff a bunch of them before he decided which one he wanted? Did his girlfriend buy it for him? Did he have a girlfriend? Dammit, why was I even thinking about that?
“I’ve got a guest room,” he said, catching me checking out his place. “You can stay in there tonight.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled as I followed him down a short hallway.
He stopped in the doorway of the furthest room down the hall and flipped on the light, gesturing me inside. The room wasn’t decorated, but the furniture he had was definitely not of the discount variety. Another surprise. I would have guessed I’d be sleeping on a futon.
“I’ll grab the bedding,” Mark said, nodding toward the bed. “It gets dusty if I leave it made, so it’s just easier to keep it in the closet.”
He left the room and I took a minute to just breathe. We were safe. We were unhurt. We had a place to stay until my parents got there. Everything was going to be okay.
I glanced down at the baby as she started to stir, making little noises and rolling her head around. Maybe okay was an overstatement. We were going to get through it. She chose that moment to make a sucking noise that sounded a whole lot like she was trying to blow me a kiss.
Fuck it. I’d make things okay.
“It’s you and me kid,” I whispered, kissing the top of her head. “And we should probably figure out the name situation.”
“Got ’em,” Mark announced as he strode back into the room. “I don’t think this mattress has ever even been slept on, so I have no idea if it’s comfortable or not.”
“I can pretty much sleep anywhere,” I lied. The truth was that I had a hard time sleeping anywhere, but I figured the point was the same—it didn’t matter how comfortable the mattress was or wasn’t—I’d get the same amount of sleep either way.
“Everyone’s gonna be here for a while,” he said as he put the sheets on the bed, tucking them neatly at the corners. “So, if you wanna get settled and then come out, feel free.”
“Okay,” I replied, standing there like a lazy ass while he made my bed. I knew I should offer to help, but Jesus, I was tired. My arms ached from holding the baby all night, the lower half of my body was still stiff and sore from sitting on the floor of that closet for so long, and I was trying to ignore the incessant throbbing of my downstairs. I felt about a million years old.
“Or,” he said as he threw a quilt over the sheets, “you can stay in here and get some rest and get her settled. Up to you.”
“Yeah, she probably needs her diaper changed,” I said to his back. “I don’t know about her, but I was definitely shitting my pants back there.”
I have no idea what possessed me to make the joke. None of it was funny. Not one bit. It was absolutely terrifying, and claw at my chest, scream until my voice was raw, devastating. But I’d never said the right thing, and that moment wasn’t any different.
“Right,” he said before turning to face me. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”
“Mark—”
“You know, Cecilia, tonight wasn’t a fuckin’ lark for me,” he said, pausing in the doorway to look back at me. He paused and thumped the side of his fist against the doorframe. “So keep your bullshit comments to yourself, alright? I don’t want to fuckin’ hear ’em.”
I stood dumbly, staring at the door long after he’d left. Once upon a time, he’d been the only person who hadn’t gotten offended by the shit that spilled out of my mouth. When we were together, I hadn’t had to censor myself at all. I sighed. Or maybe he’d just pretended he didn’t care what I said because he’d been nineteen and getting regular blowjobs. Whatever. I’d be gone tomorrow and he could think whatever he wanted about me. What did it matter, really?
“Let’s get you changed, huh?” I finally said to baby girl as she began to squirm in earnest. After laying her on the bed, I grabbed our bag off the floor and started pulling everything out of it. Four diapers, a half empty package of wipes, two little shirts that snapped at the crotch, another baby gown, a pair of footie pajamas, a blue and pink hat from the hospital, my toiletry bag, a set of dirty clothes I’d rolled up into a ball, my hairbrush, a sample size bottle of baby soap, two pacifiers, two nipple shields that I hadn’t had to use after the first day, and a plastic bag with two pads left.
“Damn, girl,” I cooed even though my stomach churned. “We don’t have much.”
I upended my purse next. Two more pads, a couple of very old tampons, keys, wallet, two medical bracelets, a pair of fuzzy socks with grippers on the bottom, a tube of lanolin, my .38, an envelope of paperwork, two pens, my phone, a phone charger, and a tube of lipstick.
There was no getting around it—we needed supplies. I had a single bl
anket to wrap her in and I cursed as I realized I’d left her car seat in the back of Cane’s car. It had felt weird as hell, unnatural, holding her as we’d driven to Mark’s house, but I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I’d left the expensive ass car seat Liv had picked out behind.
Taking a deep breath, I shook out my hands. There was nothing I could do about it now. What was done, was done. When my parents got there tomorrow, we could figure out logistics. Get her a new car seat and other shit she’d need. There was no reason to panic, not about this. It was only one night and then we could go back to my place, pack up, and hit the road.
I’d feel stronger then. I’d be ready to get things done and make things happen. I just needed one night.
“Okay, sweetheart,” I said as I leaned over her. “Diaper time.”
As I changed her, I kept up a stream of conversation that she probably couldn’t understand, but it made me feel better.
“My dad is cool. You’ll like him. I’m not sure what he looks like right now. Last time I saw him, he had a beard and his hair was getting pretty long, but he likes to change it up. My mom says it keeps things spicy when she never knows who she’s coming home to, but we just ignore her when she says things like that because it’s gross. So, just pretend you don’t hear her, that’s what I do.”
Once her diaper was changed, I lifted her into my arms, leaving her little hospital blanket on the bed. I still couldn’t believe how tiny she was, especially when the added bulk of the blanket was gone. She was so light, and she naturally curled into a ball, making her seem even smaller.
“Oh, come on,” I chuckled as I felt her fill the brand new diaper. “We’ve only got a couple of these left, dude.”
She stretched, arching her back, and I felt my chest get tight with a surge of protectiveness and love. That feeling still caught me by surprise every time it happened. I hadn’t expected it. When I’d first felt her start moving around in my belly, I’d tried to just ignore it. I’d went about my days, refusing to even acknowledge to myself that there was a tiny human taking up space in my body, growing and saying hello with little taps of her fists and elbows and feet and knees. It was safer that way. I thought it would make things easier.
Craving Cecilia Page 3