Despite the number of voices lifted in praise, Maggie could hear Kane’s deep baritone. She glanced his way, saw that he was watching her and felt her cheeks heat again.
What was it about the man that made her feel like an inexperienced schoolgirl?
Whatever it was, she planned to ignore it.
She had enough to worry about, enough to think about without adding Kane into the mix. Staying in Deer Park might be the right thing to do, but she wasn’t convinced it would keep her safe. She needed to pay attention to her surroundings, and that would be difficult if she was distracted by a man.
So she wouldn’t be. Period. End of story.
No matter how good-looking, charming and brave that man was.
The hymn ended, and Maggie sat down, refusing to look at Kane again, refusing to even think about the fact that he was only two seats away.
She’d come to church to worship, to thank God for the blessing He’d given. She had not come to spend an hour thinking about Kane.
So why are you still thinking about him?
The question flitted through her mind, but she ignored it.
She didn’t have time for childish crushes.
A crush?
She refused to even call it that.
What she felt for Kane was nothing more than physical attraction. So what if he was proving himself to be a compassionate and caring father? So what if he seemed to always be around when Maggie needed him? And so what if he’d risked his life to save her?
He was still just a man.
And Maggie had given up on men three years ago.
She wasn’t going to forget that. Not for Kane. Not for anyone.
She frowned, opening the hymnal to the second hymn, determined to lose herself in the words and to forget everything else. All her troubles, her past, Derrick. Kane.
Those things were temporary, and they’d fade like the seasons. What would last was her faith, and that was enough to carry her through whatever would come.
TEN
Church hadn’t been important to Kane when he’d been a young attorney just starting out in New York. After his marriage to Sophia, he’d attended services sporadically, spurred on by his wife. When she’d died, he’d gone back to his old habit of sleeping in, figuring that Eli was too young to benefit from church.
He’d been wrong, of course, and he’d spent a lot of years regretting it. After all, Kane’s childhood had been filled with church activities and church friends. He’d attended camps and youth group meetings. He’d even gone on a mission trip when he was in high school. He had known what faith was, had a firm foundation in the Bible, but he’d never felt he needed God. Until Sophia died. Until Eli disappeared. Until Kane’s sorrow had threatened to eat him up from the inside out.
That’s when he’d found himself on his knees, crying out to God, begging for a miracle. He hadn’t gotten it then, but Kane had finally understood what it meant to need God, and it had humbled him. Since then, church had been a big part of his life. He enjoyed the fellowship, the worship and the feeling that somehow he was connected to something much greater than himself.
Too bad his son didn’t feel the same way.
Eli stood beside him, staring down at the hymnal Maggie held, but he was not singing. Kane wanted to tap him on the shoulder and insist that he participate, but what would be the point? It wouldn’t mean anything, and it would only put more of a rift between them.
He sighed, and, as they sat, he rubbed the back of his neck and tried to ease some of his tension. Being around Eli was like walking a tightrope. Every step was a study in balance. Too far one way or too far the other might send them both spinning out into freefall.
“Come to Me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” The pastor’s words cut through Kane’s thoughts, and he focused his attention on the lanky, fortysomething’s message. It was similar to others he’d heard, but this time it struck a deeper chord.
Rest.
That sounded great to Kane. He’d barely slept in the past few days, and in the years preceding those his sleep had often been restless and filled with nightmares. His faith had floundered, his need to know what had happened to Eli, why it had happened, overshadowing everything else.
Rest.
It wasn’t an easy thing to find when your mind was filled with worries and your stomach churning with sorrow. That’s something Kane had learned in the past five years, something he’d come to accept.
But I want it, Lord. I want that kind of rest. The kind that doesn’t depend on circumstances, but depends solely on You, he prayed silently as the sermon ended and the congregation stood for the last hymn.
Maggie handed him a hymnal, her fingers brushing his, the contact sending warmth up his arm. He wanted to grasp her hand, hold it as they sang the final hymn, but he knew she’d pull away.
Dressed in a slim black skirt and a fitted shirt, her hair pulled back into a ponytail, she looked lovely, young and serene. Only the wariness in her eyes gave away the truth of how she felt and what she was thinking.
She must have sensed his scrutiny. She met his gaze, her cheeks turning pink, a frown line marring the smooth skin between her brows.
Obviously, she wasn’t as enamored of Kane as he was of her.
Enamored?
Bad choice of words. He wasn’t enamored, he was…intrigued by her beauty, her kindness, her obvious faith.
“Is it over, Dad?” Eli whispered, and Kane jerked his attention away from Maggie and back where it belonged.
“One more prayer, and then we’re done.”
“And then we’re going back to the hotel?”
“How about we discuss that after the prayer?”
Eli shrugged, and Kane bit back a sigh.
This seemed to be their pattern. Eli would ask something of Kane that Kane couldn’t give and then would fall silent when his wishes weren’t granted.
Was being sullen a normal nine-year-old thing, or was the sullenness a product of Eli’s deep unhappiness at the situation he’d found himself in? Either way, Kane was worn from it.
As soon as the last prayer ended, Eli tried to sidle past Kane.
Kane grabbed his arm, holding him in place, afraid of losing sight of him in the crowded sanctuary. “Hold on, buddy. There’s no rush.”
“Sorry,” Eli mumbled, holding still while Kane slid the hymnal under a seat and grabbed the papers and crayons Eli had left on the chair.
“There’s a side door over this way, if you want to leave quickly.” Maggie’s voice carried over the cheerful cacophony of the departing congregation, and she gestured at a door near the front of the sanctuary. The crowd exiting through it was less dense than the one streaming through the middle aisle, and Kane nodded.
“Good idea. Thanks.” He kept his hand on Eli’s shoulder, following Maggie into the side aisle and trying not to notice the graceful way she moved, the slim curve of her waist, the golden fall of her ponytail.
Tried not to.
But not noticing Maggie was nearly impossible.
“So, what do you think, Eli? Was church boring?” She glanced over her shoulder, offering Eli a sweet smile, and Kane’s pulse leaped.
“I guess not.”
“So, maybe you’ll come again on Wednesday night. We’re having a potluck.”
“What’s that?” Eli asked, shrugging out from under Kane’s hand and hurrying forward to match pace with Maggie as she stepped outside.
“Everyone brings something to eat and then we all share it while we talk and get to know each other. There’ll be lots of kids there. You know Timothy Briton from class? He’ll be there. His mom always brings the best desserts.”
“I don’t think my dad will let me go,” Eli said, as if Kane weren’t just a few steps away.
“Why not?” he asked as the pair stopped near Maggie’s car.
Both turned to look at him, and Maggie flashed an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, Kane. I should have thought to ask yo
u before I brought it up to Eli.”
“No need to apologize. I think it sounds like a great idea.”
“Wonderful. I’ll see you both then.” She pulled open the door, hopped into the car and probably would have slammed the door shut again if Eli hadn’t been in the way.
“I’m going to be at school on Tuesday. Will you be there, Ms. Tennyson?”
“Unless the doctor tells me I need to stay home and rest my shoulder.”
Kane’s cell phone rang while Eli began what threatened to be a very long monologue about a book report that was due on Friday.
“Hello?”
“Kane, it’s Mom.” Lila Dougherty was one of the calmest people Kane knew, so when his mother sounded frazzled or scared, he knew something was seriously wrong.
And that was exactly how she sounded. Frazzled, scared, maybe even a little frantic.
“What’s wrong?”
Maggie looked up and Kane could see the questions in her eyes.
“They’ve decided to admit Jenna. The E.R. doctor is concerned that there might be something more going on than a stomach bug.”
“Like what?”
“He wouldn’t say, but Jenna is thinking the worst.” And so am I. The last remained unspoken, but Kane knew it was what his mother was thinking. He was thinking the same. Thinking about Jenna’s paleness, her fatigue, the quick way she’d cut him off when he’d tried to ask about her doctor’s appointment.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“But what about Eli?”
“I’ll bring him.”
“And have him sit around with a bunch of gloomy, worried people while they wait to find out whether or not his aunt’s cancer has returned? Kane, I know you’re his father, but…”
“No, you’re right, Mom. That’s probably not the best idea. I’ll go back to the hotel and wait for you to call with more news. Tell Jenna that…tell her I’m praying and that I think everything is going to be just fine.”
“I will.”
Kane hung up and shoved the phone into his pocket, more alarmed than he wanted to be. Jenna’s cancer had nearly killed her, but she’d fought hard and had won.
Or so they’d thought.
Was it possible she was sick again? That the cancer they’d thought she’d beat had returned?
“Is your sister okay?” Maggie got out of the car and held Eli’s hand as she faced Kane. They could have been mother and son, the two of them. Both standing with their heads cocked to the side, their bodies tense and their eyes wary.
“They’re admitting her. They want to run a few tests.” He didn’t offer more. There was no sense in giving Eli something else to worry about.
“You want to be there with her.”
It was a statement rather than a question, but Kane answered anyway. “I’d like to, but I don’t think the hospital is the best place for Eli. Besides, we had plans to have ice-cream sundaes this afternoon, right, bud?”
Eli nodded his agreement, but didn’t look any more excited by the idea than he had when Kane had first brought it up.
“If you want…” Maggie bit her lip, and Kane’s gaze was drawn to the fullness of her mouth.
“What?”
“Eli and I could go for lunch and ice cream while you go to the hospital.”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that, Maggie.”
“Why not?” Eli asked, and Kane bit back impatience.
“Because Ms. Tennyson has other things to do with her time, Eli.”
“Actually, I don’t,” she offered. “I usually spend my Sundays relaxing, and what could be more relaxing than ice cream and friendship?”
“There are still reporters all over town, Maggie. They stopped short of following us from the hotel this morning when I told them we were going to church and wanted them to respect our privacy while we worshipped, but if they see you and Eli together, they’ll be snapping pictures, asking questions, all the things you wanted to avoid.”
“Worrying about that now is like worrying about spilling milk when it’s already on the floor. It’s too late. My photo was in the news, and I can’t change it, so I may as well stop worrying about it.”
“Are you still afraid your ex is going to come after you?”
“I don’t know. He’s got a long memory, and whether the sheriff believes me or not, I’m sure that Derr…” Her voice trailed off and she shook her head. “You’re right. It’s probably best if Eli and I don’t go get ice cream. I wouldn’t want anything to happen while we were together.”
“We could go to your house, Ms. Tennyson. We could have ice cream there.”
“We can’t put Ms. Tennyson out like that.”
“You wouldn’t be putting me out. If Eli wants to spend the afternoon at my place, I’m happy to have him if you’re okay with it.” Was he?
“Please, Dad?”
Kane hesitated, trying to imagine every worst-case scenario. If Maggie’s ex came after her, he didn’t want his son anywhere close by.
“No, Eli. I’m sorry, but it’s better if we go back to the hotel.”
Eli’s face fell, and Maggie looked just as disheartened.
“Why don’t we all have ice cream together?” he offered, feeling like the worst kind of heel.
“That would defeat the whole purpose, Kane. I was going to have Eli over so that you could be at the hospital with your sister,” Maggie said quickly, and Kane had the distinct impression that she’d rather do just about anything but spend time with him.
“But ice cream would still be fun. Wouldn’t it, Ms. Tennyson?” Eli looked up at Maggie, and Kane wondered if she’d have the heart to say no.
“Eli…” Maggie hesitated, then sighed. “That sounds good. We’ll go back to my place, have some lunch and then have ice cream.”
“Thank you!” Eli threw himself into her arms.
She laughed, accepting his hug, and Kane’s throat tightened with emotion. Maybe things weren’t as dire as they seemed. Maybe Eli did just need some time to adjust because at that moment, he looked a lot like the little boy Kane remembered. Happy, smiling and excited by life.
“You’re welcome. So, how about we get going? My stomach is growling.” She got in her car, this time managing to close the door quickly.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s go.”
“I could ride with Ms.—”
“No, you couldn’t because I’m your father, and I want to spend time with you.” He put a hand on Eli’s shoulder and steered him to their SUV.
He expected Eli to go back to his solemn, sullen silence, but Eli looked Kane in the eye as he climbed into the SUV and offered a shy smile. “I want to spend time with you, too, but you’re not who I remember.”
“I didn’t think you remembered me at all,” Kane responded, his heart beating hard against his ribs. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, didn’t want to do anything to stop Eli’s words from flowing.
“I remember we played catch together. I remember that you used to make pancakes for breakfast.”
“Almost every Sunday morning.”
“I remember I was sad when Mo—Susannah told me you didn’t want me anymore.”
“I’m sorry, Eli. I wish things could have been different.”
Eli shrugged, buckled his seat belt and turned away, ending the conversation as quickly as he’d started it.
Kane was both relieved and disappointed. Relieved because hearing about Eli’s life was like having a knife thrust through his heart. It was almost too painful to bear. Disappointed, because, despite the pain, Kane needed to know what kind of life Eli had been living with Susannah if he were ever going to have a better understanding of his son. So far, Susannah wasn’t talking, and, though the FBI had traced much of her movements during the past five years, they couldn’t speculate on how she’d treated Eli.
His cell phone rang as he pulled out of the church parking lot, and he answered, expecting it to be his mother or father.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Jackson.” Jackson Sharo was one of Kane’s best investigators. A former New York City homicide detective, he’d joined Kane’s P.I. firm after his sister was murdered by her estranged husband and had been part of the Information Unlimited team ever since.
“What’s up?”
“That’s what I was calling to ask you. I phoned into the office, and Skylar said you’d run into some complications.”
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
“She also said the woman who helped you find Eli was shot,” Jackson continued, completely ignoring Kane’s response.
“Skylar talks too much.” But she was a great investigator. Which was why Kane had asked her to help him find information on Maggie. She’d come up as empty as he had.
“She’s concerned.”
“She shouldn’t be. Things are cool here. How about with you? Did you find your brother-in-law?” Jackson had taken a week off to fly to Cancún with his new wife, Morgan. They were hoping to track down the brother Morgan had been separated from when she was a child. Adopted by different families, Morgan and Nikolai hadn’t seen each other in two decades. A reunion between them would mean another blessing for the Information Unlimited team.
“We haven’t been able to locate him yet. Seems like every time we show up at his condo, he’s just left. At least that’s what his neighbor says.”
“You think he’s hiding from you?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not giving up until Morgan gets a chance to see him face-to-face. If he is Nikolai, she needs to know. Whether he wants to see her or not.”
“Keep me updated.”
“How are things going with Eli?”
“As well as can be expected,” Kane said, glancing in the rearview mirror. Eli was staring out the window, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t listening.
“Morgan and I have been praying for the two of you.”
“We need it.”
“And do you need me? If things are going badly up there, I can fly in for a few days and offer support.”
Running Scared Page 10