by Etta Foster
The house truly was too big.
Louise could hear their voices better the farther she tiptoed down the hall before finally finding the two of them in the parlor.
She stopped in the doorway to study the scene before her.
In the other doorway stood Richard. Or rather he was seated in his chair. Any gladness she felt about seeing him up and about was diminished by the fact that he looked quite upset. Her stomach churned.
With one arm resting on the armrest, his other arm was gesturing across the room. His brow was creased in frustration as he looked across the room.
His energy was directed towards Luanne who stood against the sofa.
She had something in her hand as she gestured back to him. The other hand leaned on the sofa behind her as though she didn’t want to leave her comfortable spot.
After all, she was either there, in her room, or at the table. Luanne had hardly gone anywhere else in the couple of days they’d spent at the ranch.
Nothing had been thrown in the room yet, nor ruined. The coffee table in the middle of the room that separated the two unhappy parties had not been touched. Louise glanced around just to be certain she hadn’t missed anything.
But she had to have missed something to walk into this bewildering scene.
She inhaled shakily before clearing her throat.
It was meant to gather their attention. But Luanne was breathing loudly through her nose and Richard was speaking.
“No right,” he said loudly and firmly. “You are a guest in this house, my house! It’s not yours to touch.”
“Is something…” Louise touched her hair only to find her fingers were still shaking. As she spoke, she felt the strange tingling on her lips. She tried to interrupt again. “Excuse me, but…”
They still didn’t notice her.
“I said you could come and get it,” Luanne reminded the man. “But you won’t, will you? You can’t even deny the truth! I don’t care who you think you are, but you can’t tell me what to do!”
The vehemence startled Louise, for she hadn’t heard her older sister talk like that in a long time.
“Luanne,” she found her voice and spoke sharply, giving her sister a pointed look.
“What?” the girl cried out in exasperation. Then she paused in surprise at seeing Louise there at the door.
Louise hoped that her sister was about to calm down. That whatever they had been arguing about meant nothing and they could all be friends again. The two of them needed to come to their senses.
She raised a hand but stopped as Luanne’s gaze narrowed. If anything, she looked even angrier. That wasn’t what she had hoped for.
Swallowing hard, Louise turned to Richard in the hopes of finding him in a better mood.
She had been praying he would be feeling better and want to be up and about. There was still so much she wanted to say to him, to talk to him about.
Especially about Jacob. They could recover from their last conversation if only he would talk to her.
But he wore a scowl as well.
She tried to get him to look at her, but he wouldn’t.
Richard kept his eyes down as he tugged himself in his chair backwards out of the room. He used the walls and the wheels to maneuver about.
Louise took a step forward, but it was already too late. The only way he could have left any quicker was to have run.
She bit her lip. She shouldn’t think thoughts like that when he was in his chair. It hadn’t been very nice. Nor was the way he had scattered like that.
Shaking her head, Louise turned back to the only other party in the room.
She crossed her arms with a pointed shrug directed at Luanne. Even though she was the younger of the two, Louise had received plenty of opportunities to play the peacekeeper back home.
“What was that about?”
“What was that about?” Luanne repeated sarcastically. The girl pulled her hair from her shoulder and collapsed on the sofa in a loud huff. “That was about someone being ridiculous and unreasonable. Did you hear him talk to me like that?”
Louise took another step into the room as she stared her sister down. “I mostly heard you, rather, talking like that to him. What were you doing?”
“I was talking. I was defending myself, Louise. Don’t get your skirts in a bunch, would you? It’s none of your business, anyways,” Luanne defended herself flippantly. She deflated with a sigh, never looking at Louise. She rarely looked anyone in the eye lately.
It was as though she had woken up into a new world that was unhappy and strange. Louise didn’t like it.
Jacob had false notions about her modesty and commitments, Luanne didn’t care about what people thought or wanted, and Richard wanted nothing more to do with her.
All she wanted to do was return to bed so she could cry and sleep until the world turned right again.
But she didn’t. Louise told herself that couldn’t happen. She stepped farther into the room until she stood before her sister.
“It is my business, actually,” Louise said decidedly. “I’m the one who wanted to come out here. I’m the one who has been writing to Richard for months. If you’re here and bothering him, I think I have a right to know. What was going on with you two?”
Luanne scoffed as she fiddled with her hair. “I told you. He was just being angry over nothing. I am apparently perfectly wonderful at ruining everything. If there is even anything here. We’re in the middle of nowhere in case you haven’t noticed.”
“I had,” Louise breathed in through her nose. “It’s open land and I wanted to come here.
“But I didn’t come so I could hear you shouting with Richard. Honestly, Luanne. Can you tell me the truth? Can you tell me anything real? I just want to understand.
“What were you two arguing about? I’ve never seen a fight like that before.”
Her sister stood suddenly. “Stop playing pretend, Louise. You aren’t perfect and we all know it. After all, what kind of perfect angel would go on a walk with the brother of the man she’s courting? Don’t you think that’s a little rude?”
As Luanne flipped her hair behind her shoulder to go, the ends struck Louise.
Stunned, she stood there in her spot as she watched her sister stomp out the room. The older girl could be heard traveling down the hall and into her bedroom.
A loud slam sounded as the door shut unnecessarily hard.
It was only after that moment when Louise managed to breathe again.
How had her sister known where she had been? Louise wondered if Richard knew as well. Could that have been why they were fighting?
But it seemed unlikely. Surely they would have wanted to talk to her about what had happened if it involved her.
A knot grew in her stomach as she wondered about what she had done. She felt the need to explain herself to someone but there was no one around to listen to her.
Her arms dropped by her sides. Turning slowly around the room, she studied the space around her as though hoping it would tell her what had happened. Luanne had clearly skirted answering the question properly.
Louise wondered why.
What could those two have possibly talked about?
As she chewed on her lip, she was reminded that the only thing Luanne and Richard had in common was herself. But why would they talk about her?
She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, already worn out from her day. When Louise picked up her hands, only one hand was still shaking.
It was the hand that she had used to slap Jacob. Her eyes skirted towards the doorway to see if he might walk through there to make her day even worse.
But no one came.
Forcing herself to breathe, she shook her head tiredly and went to sit on the sofa. She took her sister’s seat and tried to relax.
If she could only clear her mind, then she would feel better. Her head was too muddled with everything that had just happened.
Louise knew she had wanted more excitement
in her life. But this was not how she had expected it to go.
As she stretched out her hands, her fingers found something on the sofa. She grabbed it to find a small stone.
It glittered in the light with silver and gray.
Louise studied it curiously, noting the strips and the ridges. There was one smooth side that curved like an apple. But the top was rough and made her think of a mountain top.
It fit perfectly in her palm and was cool to the touch. Louise pondered about where it might have come from. Perhaps Luanne knew.
She didn’t want to talk to Luanne. She wasn’t certain she wanted to talk to anyone. Not even Mrs. Pennyworth. All she wanted was some time alone to gather her thoughts.
The rock was put down as she stood up. Louise decided she was tired of everything happening to her when she had no choice in the matter.
Surely there was something she could do for herself.
Deciding she didn’t want to be found if Jacob returned to the house, Louise made her way to her room to think.
Chapter 17
When Louise had left his room that morning, Richard had concentrated on his self-pity for only another minute before realizing he might have been too rude.
He turned over but the door was closed.
There were voices on the other side, but they soon faded into the distance to leave him alone again.
That frustrated Richard. Everything annoyed him. It felt that every time things started to go well, something happened.
Most of the hiccups in his life were manageable. He had concentrated his efforts into the ranch. Even during the harsh winters, they had survived. Even when their parents died, he and Jacob had survived.
But this was beginning to feel like too much. Especially as he tried to imagine the future where there was nothing waiting for him.
Every time he tried to look for a semblance of hope, he was reminded of his clumsiness before Louise that morning.
He remembered how the pity spread across her face, along with the hot shame that followed.
A man was supposed to be able to take care of those he loved. A husband had to protect his wife. A father had to be able to support his children. Trapped in the chair, Richard was certain he couldn’t do any of that. He couldn’t even fit himself through a doorway.
Grumbling under his breath, he tried to get some sleep. His body still ached through the bruises and part of him was certain that he would never be free of pain.
But when he couldn’t fall asleep, Richard noticed the tray on his table.
Louise had left it for him, even when he said he didn’t want it.
His stomach growled as though telling him it had all been a lie. Glancing at the food, he knew it would have tasted better if he had eaten it while it was still hot. But he hadn’t.
Now it would be cold. He sighed and realized that he might never enjoy a hot meal again if he had to keep eating in his room.
“At least things can’t get any worse,” he muttered to himself.
Shuffling around, he tugged at the blankets that had wrapped around his useless legs as he tried to sit up. It took more effort every time he had to move the lower half of his body.
Part of him wished he could just cut it off to save himself the trouble.
Sighing, he shook his head and reached over for the tray. It was tricky to pick up and move with one hand. He winced as the cup started to slide.
“Don’t,” he started to say as though speaking to the inanimate object would help.
It didn’t. Richard twisted his wrist to tilt the tray in the opposite direction. That action only helped the cup slide in the other direction, tip over and then slide over the edge of the tray. One hand was on the tray and the other was propping him up so there was nothing he could do to stop the inevitable fall.
The cup hit his bedframe and crashed onto the floor. It broke into several pieces as though to taunt him. Liquid poured everywhere.
Working his jaw, he looked over the edge of the bed to glare at the broken pieces and spilled water. Perhaps things could get worse. And if they could, then they probably would. That seemed to be his life now.
A knock at the door jerked his head up.
“Richard?” Mrs. Pennyworth called out to him. “I thought I heard a noise. Is everything all right in there?”
His eyes glanced towards the floor as he said, “It’s fine, Mrs. Pennyworth. Just fine.”
A moment of silence. “Are you sure?”
“Yes!” Richard called before gritting his teeth.
He didn’t mean to sound so bitter to her. She hadn’t done anything wrong. But he didn’t want to talk to her or have to explain to anyone that he had dropped a cup because he was weak.
That’s all he was ever going to be.
The dread of the future consumed him. Richard managed a few bites of his food before putting the plate down. It was left on his bed and not the tray. He didn’t want to break something else. Frustrated, he tried to consider his options.
His eyes kept straying back to his chair.
It was supposed to help him get around, not humiliate him. He couldn’t stay trapped in this room for the rest of his life. The very idea of never leaving his bed again nauseated him so badly he grew dizzy.
“No,” he told himself as he reached out against the wall to catch himself from falling. Sometimes talking to himself reminded him to live in the present and not his mind. Closing his eyes, Richard shook his head and took a deep breath. “No. I won’t be trapped.”
When he opened his eyes, he almost felt like the chair was shrugging its shoulders at him.
If he wasn’t going to be trapped, then he was going to have to learn how to use it to get around. Richard swallowed the bile down and told himself to stop mourning what he had lost.
There was surely something good out in the world still.
It was a little easier than the first time to climb into the chair. He knew to move his hips and then the legs. They banged lightly against the corner, but he didn’t really feel it.
He only winced once before he found himself settled in the chair again.
He inhaled sharply. “See?” Richard told himself. “I can do this.”
Another deep breath, and he took himself to the door. It was a wider frame than many in the house, an advantage he hadn’t considered until now.
He scooted easily through and was about to close it, but decided it was too much effort for the moment.
That was something he could work on another day.
Perhaps just getting used to moving himself around by pushing and pulling on the wheels would be best. He raised a hand to look at his palm, glad that his hands were callused. Perhaps he would want something to help him in the future, so he considered finding gloves for later on.
Until then, he could explore around the house.
When he spotted Mrs. Pennyworth in the kitchen, Richard decided against stopping there. He wasn’t hungry and he wasn’t interested in talking to her. She had a penchant for optimism and at the moment, he wasn’t interested.
Once he figured out how to move again, maybe then he would celebrate. But his shoulders were already growing tight and the chair wasn’t going to be comfortable for very long.
Richard continued through the hall until he spotted the parlor door open.
He peaked in to find the older sister, Luanne, wandering around. It struck him as rather odd and he wondered what was on her mind. The way she eyed everything so thoughtfully made him uneasy.
She walked slowly and was touching everything her eyes fell on. The piano, the seat, the keys. The window, the curtains, the wall. The table, the candle, the rock.
Immediately his heart clenched. “Put that down,” he instructed and then caught himself. “Please,” he added.
Whirling around to find she had been caught, Luanne’s eyes widened. Then they fell on him.
Her pout turned into a dark look. “What did you just say?”
It was a gray little ro
ck with silver streaks, not worth any money but rich in sentimental value.
He could still remember his mother’s delighted cheer when he showed it to her. She said she would never forget it and praised him for a whole week before placing it in the parlor for all to see it.
The rock had never been moved since except to be dusted.
He could still hear his mother’s laugh in his head sometimes.