by Kyle, Celia
God, he didn’t think there was any scent worse than that of his mate’s pain. It clawed at his skin, the heavy smell easily banishing the sweetness of honey. His lion roared and raged in disapproval, fighting with him, demanding that he comfort their mate.
Tess raised her gaze to him and his heart cracked, bits falling to the wayside when he absorbed her expression. Desolation. Pure, bleak sadness met him. “I thought I’d be different. For a second, I really did. But I was wrong.” She sobbed. “So I’ll stay here, out of the way. I can’t hurt anyone if there’s no one around to hurt.”
“Aw, damn Tess.” He didn’t wait for permission, didn’t think about her reaction when he sat and pulled her into his lap. “Don’t say that, sweet.”
“H-Harding—”
“Shh…” He cupped her head and urged her to rest it on his chest. “No. No matter what you’re about to say, or what you think, you’re wrong.” She shook her head, but he didn’t stop. He had to get it all out, had to make her see that none of the mess they’d found themselves in was her doing. “How many friends did you have growing up, Tess? You had twenty-six years. How many did you end up with?”
Tess sobbed again, the gut-wrenching sound nearly tearing out his heart. But he needed her to face her past. Sometimes that was hard—sometimes it hurt so bad a person thought they’d die—but it needed to be done.
He squeezed her gently. “How many?”
“One.”
“One.” He rubbed her arm, noting the goose bumps, and he wondered if it was from cold or fear. “And it was Ben, wasn’t it? Your one friend after a lifetime of abuse and loneliness.” She nodded, and he realized his shirt had grown damp. “So, you didn’t want to believe he’d ever hurt someone, and you hoped that if you kept quiet, it’d go away.”
Shakes overtook his mate, her body trembling in his embrace. “You almost died. I almost let you die, and he hurt you and I had to fight to keep you alive and… My mate.”
“But I’m fine.” He brushed her temple in a lingering kiss. “I’m fine.”
Tess shook her head, nose shifting back and forth over his chest. “I should have—”
“Done exactly what you did.”
“How can you say that?”
“How can I expect you to trust a near stranger?” he shot back. “He’d been your friend—your only friend—for months, Tess. We knew each other for just over a week. I dragged you across state lines and expected you to trust me without question.” He gave her another kiss. “I expected too much after too little time. All of us did, but me especially.” He sighed when she slumped into him. “The women got on us the moment we’d finished cleaning up. They jumped down our throats like we’d swallowed the crown jewels and a platinum credit card with no limit.”
“It doesn’t change anything.”
“You’re right,” he nodded. “But it does give us a new starting point. It reset my expectations and made me realize that I’m an ass. You’re a person, Tess. My mate, yes, but also so, so much more. It’s the ‘more’ we need to work on now.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” She shook her head. She’d been doing that a lot during their conversation, but he refused to give up. “I nearly got you killed, and I’m mostly-human. What’s going to happen to me if we do work past our problems? What if you do claim me? What will I become?”
“My mate.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. Maybe not today, but you can.” He didn’t give her a moment to interrupt him. “Alex is supervising the repairs on the house, and it’s going on the market as soon as it’s finished. We’ll go anywhere, start fresh if you want, but I won’t be separated from you. I can’t demand your trust or your agreement to mate, but I’m asking you: don’t push me away.”
“I decided to be a hermit.”
“Then we can be hermits together. With or without a bite, I don’t want to lose you. Don’t make me.” Tears burned his eyes and he didn’t bother fighting them. There was too much at stake to spend time worrying about something so inconsequential.
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
“Then we can ‘not know’ together.” He gathered every hint of emotion that lived within him. He drew on his desperation and desire, the raw hopelessness that’d plagued him since she left and the pure joy at simply finding her again. “Please.”
Tess tipped her head back, and he relished the ability to look upon his mate once again. The days had weighed on him, dragging his spirit down until hope was barely a glimmer. Moisture filled her eyes and a single tear escaped, trailing over her wet cheek.
“Okay.” She took a deep breath, breasts brushing his arm. “But I want to go back to Ridgeville.”
Chapter Ten
“You have nothing to fear, but fear itself… And Ninja Zombie Hookers. I know no one thinks they’re real, but just wait until the zombie apocalypse comes and we’ll see who’s laughing then.” — Maya O’Connell, Prima of the Ridgeville Pride and woman who is totally prepping for zombies.
Tess’s stomach churned, and it felt as if a rolling ball of acid tumbled around inside her. It bounced off her ribs. She clutched her abdomen, begging for the nerves to settle.
Because she’d be seeing everyone. Today. Minutes from now in a welcome-home-slash-we-don’t-hate-you-slash-house-warming party.
Strong arms wrapped around her waist, and a wall of warmth blanketed her back. “Tess?” Harding rested his chin on the top of her head. “You okay?”
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
No, it was definitely no.
Instead of releasing the words, she leaned back into him, trusting him to keep her upright. “Of course.” She bit her tongue on “not.”
He snuggled her closer, his scent sliding over her skin in an invisible caress, and she cursed her fears and her inability to trust. Only, it wasn’t about trusting Harding. Her problem was trusting herself. But she’d gotten a little better at that during the past week. They’d been rebuilding their relationship while Elise and Maddy poked around in Tess’s mind.
Combined, it left her a smidge horny with a dash of headache.
Fun times.
But it was worth it. Though pain laced through her with every uncovered memory and exploration of her skills, the man standing behind her was worth it all.
Because yes, Tess was a powerful telepath with a hint of Sensitive abilities, but she also held more than a pinch of a beast within her. Together, they predicted that it was a polar bear like Alistair. From the moment she’d returned to Ridgeville and entered Maddy’s care, the man who’d Changed her mother had been relabeled as Alistair. No longer her father or “Dad.” Just plain and simple Alistair McCain, ex-leader of Freedom, current residence: Hell.
Harding nuzzled her, bringing her back to the present. “Liar.”
Tess bit back another lie. “Okay, I’m scared. What if—”
“Shh… They already like you, Tess.”
“But I—” Fucked up beyond all comprehension.
She felt Harding shrug. “I love you and we’re working through the rest. If they can’t forgive you, then they can’t, and we’ll move on.”
She stiffened. No, she hadn’t heard that right. He hadn’t said… Had he? Tess nudged at his arm, struggling to force him to release her so she could focus on those pale blue eyes that haunted her fantasies. “Harding,” she growled.
“Shh… Our visitors are here. Time to get the party going.” He kissed the side of her neck, a soft stroke of his lips on her vulnerable flesh, and then he was gone. He slipped past her and strode to the front door of their spacious new cabin, throwing it wide in welcome.
Children and adults tumbled from the various SUVs that now littered their gravel driveway. The women of the pride alternated between yelling at the men and their cubs, while the men ignored the chaos and strode toward her mate.
She kept her gaze trained on Harding, on the easy grace of his walk and the barely constrained powe
r that his body held.
He loved her?
No…
And yet… And yet he’d followed her, found her, given her the choice of where to start their life, and then purchased a cabin that she’d fallen in love with at first sight.
To make her happy.
Her.
Tess McCai—
No, she’d hunted up her birth mother’s name. She was Tess Boyd. Someday she’d be Tess Grange. If she ever mustered the courage and trusted in her true self. At the thought, Maddy’s words came back to haunt her.
“You have a choice: buck the fuck up buttercup, or be a two legged pussy for the rest of your life. People make mistakes and people have shitty parents. Amazingly enough, those people manage to avoid becoming homicidal deviants who end up with a bullet in their head. I mean, just look at Maya’s guards. There’s not a normal one in the bunch. If they can manage not to kill everyone, you can too.”
The giggles, screams, and yells came nearer, tearing her from Maddy’s lessons and back to the present. The chaotic mass of people drew closer, Harding leading the group toward their home, and Tess pushed away from the window. With a deep breath, she headed to the front door and stood just inside the portal, waiting for everyone to make it to her. Her mate paused at the bottom of the porch steps and shot her a grin. Then their visitors filed past him.
The group barely even slowed as one Ridgeville Pride member after another filed by. Only…only each of them slowed for a kiss on the cheek, a bruising hug, or a shoulder squeeze. Then, in Neal’s case, she got a kiss, a hug, and a squeeze to her ass along with a “hey darlin’.”
That caused a roar on one front and a screaming chitter on another.
Harding strode across the porch, rage etched in every feature, while Carly flew back through the house with obvious, deadly intent.
Tess was yanked away from the other lion and onto the porch so fast she thought her head would spin, and her mate’s bellow filled her ears. “Mine!”
She waited for an answering scream from Carly, a similar affirmation of her claim, but got something else entirely.
“So help me God, I will geld your furry ass and play pool with your balls.” Carly pinched Neal’s ear and twisted.
“Aw, Lucky, I was just teasing.” Neal whimpered when she tugged on the piece of flesh. Then she led him through the house and toward the backdoor, his whines trailing in their wake.
The “threat” gone, Harding hugged her close and rubbed his cheek over the top of her head. “Mine.” The touch wandered over her face as he continued nuzzling her. Lips brushed her eyes, nose, lips… “Mine.” And she realized he was scenting her, claiming her in the only way he could at the moment. When he ventured further south to her neck, she tilted her head to the side and granted him access. He growled and nipped where her neck and shoulder met. “Mine. Mine. Mine.”
Tess stroked his shoulders. “I know. I know.”
He scraped his fangs over her skin and she shuddered. “All mine.”
“Yeah, yeah, yours-yours-yours.” Maya’s voice intruded on them. “Can we eat now? I mean, something we can all eat? Something that isn’t Tess’s vagina? ’Cause that looks like where this is going.” Harding growled, and Tess couldn’t suppress her giggle. “What? Just sayin’.” Trust Maya to get to the heart of things.
The click clack of Maya’s heels on the porch signaled the woman’s retreat, and a small shudder wracked Harding’s body. He took a deep breath and released it on a sigh as tension drained from him.
“I’m sorry.”
Tess shook her head. “It’s fine. We’re fine.” She leaned against his chest and listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “I’m the one that’s sorry. You wouldn’t be so on edge—”
“Hush. It’ll come when it comes. No pressure.” He chuckled. “Just don’t expect me to be too rational when it comes to other men touching you, and you should get used to me having a little more body hair than usual.”
She furrowed her brows and pulled back to focus on his face. Pale fur did coat his cheeks. “Huh? Why?”
A pink blush stole across his features. “The cat isn’t quite as patient.” Harding stroked his jaw. “He’s letting me know he’s unhappy the only way he knows how.”
A block of guilt settled inside her. Yet another thing she’d done wrong. Yet another way she’d hurt the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with.
She believed in Ben’s innocence when all else told her she shouldn’t, which almost got Harding killed. And now she still didn’t trust herself enough to mate with Harding, which lessened the man’s control on his beast.
“I’m so sorry.” Would there ever be a day when she wouldn’t hurt those around her?
She wasn’t sure.
“Nope.” He gave her a quick, chaste kiss. “None of that. We’re having a party. There’s no room for anything but smiles today.”
“But—”
Screams interrupted her, the voices a mixture of a deep baritone and high-pitched squeals. And she knew exactly whom they belonged to.
“No, no, no, no…” The giggles of Easton and Weston grew closer.
“Damn it, you two, bring that back right now!” Their father did not sound happy.
“Damn it, Alex, you can’t say damn it!” It seemed the Prima got in on the chase.
The two fleeing cubs rounded the corner carrying a barbequed hog’s leg between them. “Damn it, damn it, damn it…”
The twins ran past them, bolting away as Alex came around the house. He stopped at the corner, panting, and Maya slammed into him from behind. “Damn it, Alex, why’d you stop?”
The twins echoed their mother as they dashed around the opposite end of the cabin. “Damn it, damn it, damn it…”
Alex growled. “Maya, your children—”
The Prima stiffened. “My children? How is it that they’re mine when they’re bad? You taught them ‘damn it’, damn it.”
Tess snickered. She couldn’t help it. The big, bad Prime and Prima were arguing like any other couple. She wanted that. The kids, the arguing, but most important: the love that was obviously shared between the two of them.
It was then they noticed Tess and Harding’s presence. Maya smiled wide, her anger apparently forgotten, while Alex scowled. A tendril of fear stole into her. She knew it was irrational, knew that Alex wouldn’t hurt anyone without extreme cause, but it was hard to get her body to understand. There was still too much lingering in the past. Someday she’d return a scowl from someone other than her mate with a scowl of her own. Today, she stepped closer to Harding.
Maya narrowed her eyes at Tess’s action and then turned that glare on Alex. The Prima didn’t hesitate. She popped Alex in the back of the head. “Quit it or Vaginaville will turn into a no fly zone.”
With that, Alex snared Maya and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, smacking her ass for good measure. Her growl was unmistakable, as was the Prime’s answering laugh.
“Come on, baby. There’s a patch of grass with our names on it.” Alex’s rumbling voice grew softer as he moved away.
Then it was the two of them once again. Her and Harding. Alone-ish.
She stared at where the other couple disappeared, remembering the shared looks, the feelings that underlaid their actions. Even through frustration and arguing, love was evident. Maya didn’t hold a hint of fear that her dominant mate would harm her. Hell, she’d even hit him, and the man had merely growled before stalking off and hunting a “piece of grass.”
When Haring enveloped her in a hug, she leaned into him easily, taking comfort in his presence.
Tess sighed and rested her head on his chest once again. “I want that.”
“You want me to toss you over my shoulder and smack your ass?” Harding chuckled and bent down a little, grip shifting until she thought he really would pick her up. “I have no problem with that.”
She pushed and squirmed, laughing, but not really trying to get away. “No, ju
st…that. I want what they have. Normal.”
Harding raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, normal-ish. I mean, she’s fifty shades of crazy, but they love each other.”
He brushed an errant strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “Aw, Tess, it’s right here when you’re ready for it.”
“No,” she shook her head. “I know what you said, but you can’t—”
A shout from the back yard cut into her objection and she growled. Her inner-whatever didn’t like being interrupted and this was the third time in a handful of minutes.
Sensing her frustration, Harding leaned down and did more than give her a chaste kiss. He lured and seduced her with his lips. He traced the seam of her mouth with his tongue, and she opened for him. But instead of conquering, he teased, licking and lapping at her mouth in a mixture of soothing caresses and pure sex.
By the time he pulled away, she was panting and near begging for more.
Harding pressed his forehead against hers. “As soon as this party is over, we’ll talk.”
Another yell for Harding to “hurry his ass up,” and Tess nodded. “When it’s over.”
* * *
Four agonizing, dirty, nerve wracking, glorious hours later Tess was happy to see their visitors pile into their SUVs and leave. The house was trashed, the yard was littered with cups, plates and God knew what else, but none of it mattered.
Because they didn’t hate her.
The men didn’t entirely understand Tess’s thought process when it came to how she acted with Ben, but the women had put them in their place.
“It’s not your job to understand. It’s your job to say ‘of course you’re right, honey’. Go on, say it.” Maya had poked Alex with those words and suddenly the Prima was over his shoulder once again.
She debated on hiring a witch to come over and purify their forest after all of the Prime and Prima’s “activities.”
Tess stuck another pan beneath the steaming flow of water coming from the faucet and absently washed it. Her gaze remained trained on Harding, his massive form moving across the yard, picking up bits of trash and tossing them into a garbage bag. He’d sent her into the house with a pat on her ass and told her to rest. She’d been through a lot today, he said.