by Finn, Emilia
“It’s ‘cause I was hungry.”
His thick brows pull close. “Huh?”
“I didn’t drop because I was scared or anything sissy like that. I dropped because I didn’t eat yet. You went out to Ginnie’s to bring me food, remember?”
Chuckling, he presses a much rougher kiss to my forehead and bites off a string of curses. “You’re here. You’re alive. And I’m gonna get us some food.”
“I’m starving.”
“Good.” Laughing quietly, he turns away, snags the phone from the bedside table and brings up a search engine. “What do you feel like? I’m not sure there’s a lot around here. There’s a bar up the street, or a truck stop across the freeway.”
“Oh fuck! Trenton’s phone! Where’s Trenton’s phone?” I dive out of bed and past an alert Jay. I cry out when my aching feet touch the floor, then drop to my hands and knees, burning myself on the dirty carpet as I propel toward my laptop bag. Dragging the contents out and littering the floor, my head swims from moving too fast, but my stubbornness keeps me sharp as I yank the cell from the front pocket and clutch it to my chest as though it were a romantic gesture rather than a gangster’s phone I’d like to hack.
“Sophia!” Jay rushes forward and lifts me so fast, my body screams in protest. “Jesus Christ, Sophia. You didn’t have to be so fucking dramatic and shave another decade off my life. Fuck.” He carries me back to the bed and settles me exactly where I was. “Stay!” His black eyes sparkle with rage. “Don’t do that shit anymore.”
“I needed Trenton’s phone.” I continue to clutch it to my chest. “If I lost it, we’d be screwed for our next step.”
“So now you’ve got it,” he snaps. “Don’t squeal or run or freak out anymore. I think I’m having a fuckin’ moment after my sort-of girlfriend was involved in a shooting and a firebomb incident. Give me five minutes with no sudden movements.”
I pull him down to sit beside me, then I slam my hand to the back of his head and shove it between his legs. “Breathe. Relax. Oh wait, can you get my laptop?”
He growls. The big, bad, muscly and tattooed thug growls like he’s about to rip my arm off. Lifting his head, he stares into my eyes in challenge, but when I don’t back down, he bites off a curse and walks back to the mess I made on the floor. He lobs my laptop across the room and gets revenge when I squeak and imagine my five-thousand-dollar machine slamming to the floor and smashing to pieces. It safely plops to my bed with a muffled landing, then a protein bar follows and smacks down right on top. “Eat, Sophia. Do something other than tempt me to smother you in your sleep. I’m not dealing very well right now.”
“You go get food.” I pick the bar up and tear the wrapper open. “I’m awake now; I’m bandaged up and took my pills. You get food and bring it back. I’ll sit here and tear Trenton’s cell apart. Where’d you say we were again?”
“Cherry Drop Inn.” He stands tall and takes half his bar in one bite. “Room eighteen. I’m gonna run to the truck stop across the road. I’ll be ten minutes. If you blow up, get shot, or pass out while I’m gone, I’m going to be hella pissed.”
Snickering, I accept his kiss when he walks forward and yanks my hair back. “I’ll be careful, I promise. Anyone follow us here?”
He rolls his eyes and turns away to collect his wallet and keys from the rickety table. “Of course not. This isn’t amateur hour.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” I call out as he steps through the door. “I thought everything was amateur hour ever since you told your ballerina jokes.”
“Hey, Soph. Why do ballerinas dance on their toes?”
I don’t answer. I refuse to answer!
“So they don’t wake up their audience!”
Pursing my lips, I give him no reaction as he folds at the waist and laughs at his own lame shit, but the second the door closes, I shake my head and laugh.
He’s an idiot.
But he’s kinda my idiot.
13
Roadtrip
Jay
Waking just before the sun and sliding inside my sweet Sophia, we say goodbye to the shitty Cherry Drop Inn with just the clothes on our backs and climb into the red Enclave Ace had stored at a parking garage a few blocks from the Benson building.
Ace is Sophia.
Sophia is Ace.
It’s fucking weird! Because my natural instincts are to grab my phone and send him an email. To give him an update on what happened yesterday, an update on Trenton, an update on the fact my building was firebombed, and request instructions on where to go next. But he’s not a he; he’s a she, and she is Sophia.
I glance to my right and drag her hand into my lap to assure myself I still have her. Sophia is alive and well, albeit a little bruised, but I still feel like I’ve lost a friend.
Ace isn’t Ace anymore, and for two years, he’s been my sort-of safety net. If I was lost or confused, I’d send an email and would always get a reply and new instructions.
That’s gone now.
“Stop staring at me,” Soph mumbles. “And give my hand back; I’m working.”
I roll my eyes at the laptop in front of her and crush her hand in mine. “Work one-handed. I’m having a moment and don’t wanna let go.”
She doesn’t take her eyes from the screen in front of her, but she smiles. “Fine, but watch the road. I don’t wanna die because you were staring at my boobs.”
I turn my gaze forward and count the white lines as we head toward home. We’re a few hours out, and nerves swarm in my belly and make me sick. It’s weird that I’m nervous to see my brother. He won’t see me. It’s not time for that, but I’ll see him. I’ll watch over him and make sure he’s safe, and when the time is right, I’ll come back out.
The time has to be right.
“Couple things.”
I lift my chin in acknowledgment. “What things?”
“You have a lot of moments lately. You’re getting soft in your old age. That wasn’t a question.” Her eyes warm the side of my head. “It’s a statement, and I don’t like it. It’s dangerous.”
“I used to be a trained machine, Soph. I was never soft, because this world doesn’t allow for it. But now you’ve come along and changed everything. I’m having moments, because you’ve made it so I have something to lose. How do you think I feel about that shit?”
She squeezes my hand and smiles. Her smile makes me think she cares about me too, but then she adds, “You need to harden the fuck up. There’s no room for weakness, Jay. We still have an objective. We still have to take CAB out. Don’t fuck this up just because you got laid. I already told you once: if the girl is messing you up, we remove her from the equation.”
So fucking harsh. “Yeah. Next?”
“I got into Trenton’s cell. Just as he said, CAB is saved only as CAB, so that doesn’t help. But Trenton was in town not so long ago.”
My eyes shoot to hers for a beat. “Which town? Abel’s town?”
She nods. “But it was after Infernos, so even though that club was gone, and even though Abel, you, and according to the statements released, Kane, were all dead, Trenton was still in town. Why?”
“You can tell that from his phone?”
“Mmm. I have his GPS data right here.” She turns her screen a little to the left. “People think just because they turn GPS off in their cell, that it’s no longer recording.” She scoffs. “It’s all a lie. They know. They always know. So, I guess you were right; the next step is to go back to town. We’ve gotta find whatever they want. And when we find that, we find out who they are.”
“They want Kane,” I grind past clenched teeth. “They want my brother.”
“But he’s dead,” she offers callously. “At the time of Trenton’s visit, Kane was still in the program and believed dead. His girlfriend thought he was dead. The local PD thought he was dead. And Jay Bishop had a memorial already. You’re all dead. So either they are looking for something else, or they know the truth and know he’s alive.”
/> I grind my teeth again and try to think. “I mean, they obviously already know he’s alive because they’ve got the contract on his head. So who’s the leak? How do they know he’s not dead?”
“Someone already employed by the government,” she ponders. Pulling her hand from mine, she gets busy working the laptop and doesn’t notice the way my hand chills at her absence. “They are employed by the same people you were. Either that, or they’ve got someone in their pocket who works for the same people you did. Feds, DEA, ATF, military, Congress?”
Her eyes race across her screen as fast as the information and windows pop up. This is the first time she’s allowed me to see her work, the first time she doesn’t shut her screen as soon as I open my eyes. And she does it all in English, not Mandarin. “He’s powerful, Jay. Whoever he is, he’s powerful, and he’s been powerful for almost a decade. Ellie was taken eight years ago.” Her voice cracks and shows she, too, has a soft side, but when I reach out for her hand again, she brushes me away and keeps typing. “I guess that rules out Trenton’s he could be thirty thing. If he’s thirty, then he was barely legal when Ellie was taken. I don’t think this is the work of a twenty-year-old.”
“So, middle-aged.”
“Right.” She chews her bottom lip and lifts a hand in request. She’s not asking to hold my hand. She’s asking for a snack. Digging into my pocket, I take a handful of gummy worms from the packet and dump them in her palm, smiling when she shoves the lot in at once.
I love that she eats like a pig.
I love that she doesn’t give a fuck about propriety.
“How far out are we?”
“From town?” I shrug and stare out to the open road. “Three hours, I think.”
“Okay, I got us a house, but we can’t arrive till after dark.”
“Why not?”
* * *
“Okay,” I whisper, though we’re alone in the car. Sophia’s face is lit from her laptop screen as she directs me onto a street I know well. “Number forty-seven. Pull straight into the garage.”
“Right across the street, Soph?” My heart races so fast, I can feel it on the outside. “You got us the house right across the street from Kane?”
“Yup, how else would we keep watch? Hurry up and pull in. I can’t jam his security for long, you know? He’ll notice.”
Shaking my head, I turn right into our driveway, rather than left into the one I want. He’s right there. The lights are on, a truck in the driveway, and a little Mazda parked in the street. I’m so fucking close to the only person on this planet I share blood with who I care about.
“Lights off, engine off.” She hits a button on her laptop and has the automatic garage door lowering behind us. “Don’t get out till the door is closed. Wanna see?”
“See what?” I lean across into her space and send my heart into hyperdrive when I catch a visual of my brother. He’s right fucking there! Standing in his kitchen, hugging his blonde girlfriend and smiling as Eric walks through. “He’s happy.”
“You trust DeWhit, right?”
Frowning, I pull back to catch her eyes. “Eric? Yeah, I trust him. He’s one of us.” And yet, she makes me question my instincts. “He’s good, right?”
“Yeah, I think so.” She turns back to the laptop and watches the feed she so easily hacked into. “I’ve never found anything on him, and I looked. I looked hard. I just wanted your thoughts. I see the players via records and surveillance, ya know? But you know him for real. I want your instincts.”
I shrug. “My instincts are that he’s clean, and he’d take a bullet for any one of us. And since we’re going there, I’m saying Spence is clean, too, and so is Cruz. He’s PD, but he’s one of us. He’s good.”
“Alright. You gotta say goodbye now.”
“What? No–”
My heart breaks when she kills the feed and Kane is gone, vanished like he was never there. “I couldn’t stay in, Jay. They’ll notice the blip if they go searching their feed.”
“I wasn’t done looking!”
Smiling, she brings a gentle hand up to my jaw. It’s dark in here, so the only light is her laptop screen illuminating her face from below. “I’ll work on it tomorrow so we can get in and stay in. You’ll be able to watch him around the clock, I promise. But I can’t do it tonight. My brain is fried.”
“You’ve had a big couple days.”
She scoffs. “Slammed my head day before yesterday and lost my job as a stripper. Blown up and shot yesterday. Stubbed my toe on the way to the car this morning. I deserve a break. I’ll fix the feed for you tomorrow, I promise.”
“He looks well. Happy, unharmed.”
She closes the lid on her laptop and nods. “He does. He’s safe because of you. They both are. Your sacrifices were worth it.”
“I’m dead right now, Sophia, but he’s smiling.” And my heart breaks. “Maybe he doesn’t want me back.”
She strokes my jaw and holds me as I lean into it. “Or maybe his girlfriend just told a fart joke. Even the most hardened thug can’t resist a fart joke from a cute girl.”
My heart yearns for her to be right. I never for a moment considered he was better off with me dead. I never felt redundant or unloved. But I’ve been gone for months… maybe he’s over me. Maybe he’s moved on, and my return isn’t welcome.
“I was a junkie, Soph. I was a burden to him.”
“Stop.” Packing her laptop into her bag, she unbuckles her seatbelt and leans into my space. “You’re having a moment again. You just saw your brother for the first time this year, so I’ll allow it, but then you need to pull your shit together. I need you to help me inside, then you have to find the badass killing machine inside you again, because that dude doesn’t suffer from doubt.”
“I miss my brother, Soph. I miss him so much it makes me sick.”
“And I miss my sister.” Her eyes blaze. “The difference is, Kane is right there. He’s right across the street; he’s unharmed, and he’s hugging the person he loves. That should make you happy. We have work to do, so stop beating yourself up over non-existent shit, and pull yourself together.”
Turning away, she pushes the car door open and slides out with her laptop bag in hand. She lets out a hiss of pain and reminds me her feet are sore. Sighing, I rub a hand over my face and breathe. One second, then two. That’s all I get for my moment, then I push out of the car and sweep Soph up as she tries to hobble past. I swing her into the cradle of my arms and drop a soft kiss to her lips when she throws her arms around my neck.
“This place furnished?”
“Yeah, it’s all done up. We just have to get food. Tomorrow, I’ll run out and buy groceries and clothes. You’re supposed to be in the afterworld, so you can’t come. You have to stay in.”
“You can’t possibly think I’m gonna let you drive out of here tomorrow and leave my sight. Not a fucking chance.”
Scoffing, she hits the light switch as we move through the internal garage door and enter a pristine kitchen of white tile and stainless steel appliances. “You’re six and a half feet of tattooed muscle with a scar on your forehead and death in your eyes. You look so much like your brother, people thought you were the same person at one point. You’re supposed to be dead, Jay. How the hell do you expect to walk Main Street without bringing bombs down on us?”
“I’ll wear a beanie and coat. Nobody will know it’s me.”
“And if Kane walks out of the store at the same time as we walk in?” She lifts a brow as I set her on the counter and step between her legs. “You’re willing to blow it all because you didn’t trust me to buy the right chips and salsa?”
“No, you’re not playing fair.”
“No, you’re being a baby.” Sitting taller, she pushes a hand through my short hair and smiles. Pressing a kiss just to the left of my scar, she sighs and bathes my face with warm breath. “This is healing up really well. I wasn’t sure you’d pull through.”
“There’ll always be a soft spot. Yo
u could push your thumb in there and feel my brains.”
“Gross.” She pushes me away and giggles when I clutch her hips. “Don’t let anybody touch your head, okay? It’s like you’re a baby again, with a soft skull. It’s important you don’t give away your weakness.”
“Maybe I should insert a silver plate into my beanies,” I ponder. “They didn’t put anything into my skull. They said it wasn’t needed.”
“I’ll start knitting tomorrow.” She pulls me in and presses another kiss to my forehead. “Let’s order delivery, eat till our bellies want to explode, then I have a surprise for you.”
“You gonna dance for me?” My eyes light up as I lean back. “I love surprises.”
Snickering, she digs a hand into her laptop bag. “I’m not dancing for you. My feet are killing me, but I got you something else. Here.” Pulling out a set of binoculars, she sets them in my palm and smiles. “They’re not yours, but they’re the same kind. You can go sit by the front window and peep into Kane’s house. He might’ve left the curtains open or something.”
“You’re the best, Sugar Plum.” Turning, I walk away and bring the Diamondbacks up to my eyes.
“Food first!” she snaps. “I’m starving.”
14
Charge!
Sophia
“You got your phone?”
“Yes.” I tie my sneakers and hide a grimace at the pain that throbs in my heel. My feet aren’t gravely injured. It’s nothing that won’t heal within a week or so and will leave no lasting problems, but it hurts all the same.
The way things are for us right now, we need to be fast on our feet, able to run and dodge in a split second. I feel like I’m at a disadvantage, and disadvantages in this phase of my mission aren’t acceptable.
“You got your gun?”
“Yes.” I reach back and run my fingers over the cold steel that sits tucked into the back of my jeans. “If the cops decide I look sketchy and want to frisk me, the jig is up, and I’m going to prison. I hope that makes you happy.”