by Finn, Emilia
“And seeing a therapist doesn’t make you crazy,” Laine adds. “In fact, apart from the people in this room, my therapist saved my life. My vagina was torn too.” Her voice cracks, and her words remain low. So low, I know she’s hiding her words from Angelo. “They tore me open; they cut me, burned me, scarred me, and convinced me I was nothing. I tried to kill myself because I didn’t deserve my life. Is that what you’re doing, Sophia? Are you going to end you when you end him?”
“You need to let me go.” I’m stronger than them, meaner, and desperate to get away, but still, I can’t remove myself from this hug. “Please let me go.”
“I wanted to hurt them,” Laine whispers. “I wanted to show them I wasn’t weak, but all I really did was hurt myself, and by hurting myself, I hurt my family.”
“Let me go!”
“You’ll kill Jay if you don’t stop this,” Jess whispers. “He’s already lost so much. He lost his brother. He lost his mother. He lost his own life, and he’s about to eliminate his own father. If he loses you, too, he might not survive it.”
“Please let me go.” For the first time in eight years, I cry so much that snot slides over my top lip, and my breath hitches and rattles. “I need to go home for a bit. I need time to think.”
“Colum Bishop hurt his sons,” Jess presses on. “He broke them, time and time again. He doesn’t have their love. He doesn’t deserve it. They’re not going to choose him over Ellie.”
“I’m so close to it all ending,” I cry. “It’s so close.”
“And then what?” Laine asks. “What are your plans?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know!” Drawing in my strength and letting it fill my chest, with a battle cry, I shove the girls away, only to turn and slam into Jay’s broad chest.
“I’ve got you, Sugar Plum.” He picks me up and tucks my legs around his hips. My cries turn to painful sobs, and despite my hate for him in this moment, I cling to him so our chests touch and our hearts slam against each other. Eyes bore into the back of my head, but Jay doesn’t slow. He doesn’t stop or make me answer questions.
Walking through the home he already knows, he walks through the hall and turns left at the guest bedroom. Closing the door and shutting our audience out, he lays me out on the comfortable bed, lies down beside me, and pulls me close so my ear rests on his heart.
I stopped fighting him the second he picked me up and called me Sugar Plum.
“I’m sorry you’re hurting, Sophia. I know what you’re feeling, but being able to relate doesn’t take your pain away. I’m sorry I can’t take it away.”
“I’m sorry I hit you.”
Chuckling, he runs his fingers through my hair and bathes the top of my head with warm breath. “You’re not actually sorry about that. You’ve wanted to hit me for two long years. Today, you got your shot.”
“I love you, too, by the way.”
His heart stops. It gives one long pause before it restarts, and his lungs start moving. “I love you so much, Sophia. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Nothing at all. I’m not saying no to your plans; I’m just begging you to take care of your heart while you carry them out. When this is all done, I still need you to be okay with your choices. I don’t want them to haunt you.”
“I’m sorry I never tell you I love you. I’m a heartless bitch.”
“No, you’re not. How could you love me back and be heartless at the same time? It’s impossible, Sweet Sophia.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “I could feel your love. I knew it, even if you never said it.”
Bringing my leg up over his and attaching myself to his body, I close my eyes and cry through what may be delayed grief. Eight years, I’ve allowed this to build up. Eight years I let Ellie’s sad eyes haunt me. “I probably would have gone back to my apartment in New York City and sat in the dark for a week.”
“Hm?” He brushes my hair back and strokes my cheek.
“After this is done. My plans would have been to go all the way back to where it started, sit in the dark, and probably cry a lot. I never cry, so I figure that’s probably what I would have done after I was finished here.”
“And what about me?” His voice is deep and demanding, but gentle at the same time. “What about us?”
“I don’t know.”
“You would have just walked?”
I shrug again. “I don’t know. I would have tacked those tears onto my cryfest, too.”
“Please stay here, Sophia. Stay with me, and let me hold you while you cry. You’ll tear my heart out if you walk away now. I’ll come with you, okay? If you’re unhappy in this town, I’ll come wherever you’re going, so long as you promise to wear the tutu.”
Snot bubbles in my nostril as I laugh and smack his stomach. “I’m not wearing the tutu, dummy.”
“Sophiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaa?” He says it on a whisper and yet makes my heart skip a beat. “What did the ballerina say when her man begged her to stay with him forever?”
* * *
Holding Jay’s hand in mine and tucking them both against my growling stomach, we walk the hall like a couple prisoners walking the plank, but he does his with a smile.
And I do mine while breathing in and promising myself that everything will be okay.
Stopping at the doorway and swallowing my nerves when the kitchen turns quiet with anticipation, Jay brings his hands up and cups my cheeks. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise.”
“Okay.”
“You gotta trust me on this.”
“I do. I promise.”
“And by trusting me, you trust Kane. And Kane seems to trust that asshole rebound dude, and then there’s Eric and Spence, and I trust Riley because he’s a bionic man now, and no one in the history of the world was bionic and bad.”
“What about Captain Hook?”
My question shocks Jay, throws him off balance, then draws a large smile to his face. “Except that dude. There’s always gonna be one bad apple in the bunch. Maybe just stay on the opposite side of the room from Riley while we keep an eye on him.”
Laughing, I hold Jay’s hands, then step onto my toes and press my lips to his. “I love you. We can do this.”
“Yeah, we can. Because my girl is the original badass from way back, and she can lift her feet above her head.” Shrugging, he presses a kiss to my cheek. “Every man’s wildest dreams. You’re the whole package, babe. Now come on.” Turning, but taking my hand again, he pushes the door open and reveals the group that doesn’t even pretend not to wait for us. “She was having a moment, guys. It’s because Andi took one of her curly fries, but we got it ironed out now.”
Stepping forward because he’s Jay’s big brother, Kane stops in front of us and studies me with a lifted brow. “You okay there, Soph? All sorted?”
Nodding, I wipe a hand beneath my nose. “I’m good. I don’t normally cry, so, ya know, this won’t be a regular occurrence or anything.”
“You can cry anytime you need…” He coughs to clear his throat. “With my girl. In another room while you share a tub of ice cream and your deepest, darkest secrets.” Chuckling, he pulls me forward and envelops me in the kind of hug I never would have accepted before Jay. Or maybe even before my moment just a moment ago. “We’re taking care of this, okay? Because I know what it’s like to lose your baby sibling and feel like it’s all your own fault.” Stepping back, he awkwardly pats my shoulder. “We got this. Also, Riley is probably our evil member. So steer clear of him.”
“Hey!” Riley moves closer and whacks the back of Kane’s leg with his walking cane. “I’m the least dirty of you all. I’m a cop!”
“You were a cop, Rook.” Turning, Kane flashes him a megawatt smile. “Now you’re one of us. We got shit to do and a plan to make.”
The food is replenished, and my laptop is given back to me. I find our man still on lookout hill with his sniper rifle tucked close to his face and realize, from the moment my moment began until now, barely twenty minutes have passed. My breakdowns
are fast and loud, but then they’re gone, and I’m back to business.
“Who’s on the hill, Soph?” Jay tosses a tennis ball from hand to hand as he paces the kitchen. “Is it Colum, or one of his men?”
Sliding through the internet as though bodily, rather than fingers on a keyboard, I pull up cell data, find the GPS records, then I drill down another layer and find an identity.
“The phone on the hill belongs to a Redmond Clay. Thirty-six years old, married, Caucasian, and straight. He’s listed as a contractor in the self-defense industry–”
“He’s a hit man?” Kane says. “People buy his time and skills, and he takes his targets out. Right?”
“Right.” Biting my bottom lip and concentrating, I slide into Clay’s bank accounts and take a look around. “He has no set pricing, but they’re all round numbers. Some jobs are worth five grand, I guess. And some are worth a hell of a lot more.”
“I’m honored to be worth a cool mil,” Kane drawls. “What do you think Colum will do when he finds out we’re both still alive and kicking?”
“Dunno.” Ignoring them, I dig a little deeper into Redmond’s wife’s accounts and come up with nothing. As in, no wife. “He’s not hitched, guys. He’s just setting up extra accounts so he can spread his wealth and not look suspicious. Stupid ass motherfucker, doesn’t he know regular criminals set their money up abroad?”
Jay chuckles and drops a kiss on the top of my head as he passes. “I’m so turned on right now, Tiny Dancer. It’s sexy that you’re a straight-up thug just like the rest of us.”
“Shush.” Selecting a stream of income, I follow it back through three ghost accounts that try to conceal the originating account, but I find it easily enough and nod. “Lieutenant General Colum Anthony Bishop. He’s used this dude before.” Looking up, I meet both Bishops’ eyes and lift a brow. “How does it feel knowing you once lived in that guy’s balls?”
“Ew!” Jay throws a fry at my head and continues pacing. “Don’t make this weird, Sophia. Let’s talk murder and mayhem, but I don’t wanna know about his balls unless you intend to place them in a jar and bury them somewhere in the woods.”
“We fuckin’ should,” Kane grumbles, then smiles when Angelo clears his throat with an angry ahem. “We should show him what happens when you piss your boys off one too many times.”
“Focus,” Jess grumbles. Stepping into Kane’s path, she stops him as he tries to pass. “What are you going to do?”
“We’re going to visit Spence’s place, and I’m gonna select a shiny new sniper rifle. I’ll get one for Jay, too, then we’re gonna see who can hit Colum’s retina first.”
“You’re disgusting.” Pursing her lips, she drags him back when he tries to keep pacing. “Maybe we could do this a different way. Why don’t we try this on the right side of the law?”
“Ugh.” Spence throws his hands up and huffs. “That’s boring.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From: AcesAndEights
To: Colum Bishop
Cc: Kane Bishop
Subject: It’s hot as hell, huh?
I bet Redmond is hot AF in that ghillie up on the lookout right now. Send the guy a Pepsi, or call him back.
Ps: He sucks at hiding.
Hitting send, I push back at the table and wait for retaliation. Kane’s phone dings first, since I decided to taunt the beast and copy his target in, but it takes only a minute for my satellite imagery to show Colum’s shooter jumping to his feet and hauling ass off the hill.
“I still wish we coulda taken him out,” Spence grumbles. “That motherfucker had my boy in his sights. Why should he get tipped off and a chance to burrow?”
“It’s not personal with him,” Kane answers. “He’s just doing a job, following orders, collecting his rent money and moving on.”
“Doesn’t make it right.”
Kane shrugs. “If I called you up and told you to hit a dude on my word only, you’d do it.”
“So?”
“Should you die for that? You’re only following my orders. You assume I have the right reasons for hitting him. Red ain’t our enemy.” He stops pacing and shrugs. “I’ll keep an eye on him though, just in case he pops up again.”
My email dings about three minutes after I send the first. Leaning forward, I scan the screen with fast eyes, but I don’t open it yet.
“What are you doing?” Jay leans in close as I open a zip file I’ve kept saved on the desktop. Ridiculously, a pair of cartoon binoculars enlarge, scan my computer, then come back with a thumbs up.
“He might be able to track our location by email,” I reply. “I can track his.” Opening another zip file, I run my tracking program and grin when I get green ticks and the lovely ding sound that comes with each. “He’s here, by the way.” Opening the email, I bite my grin when the men around me jolt at my news. “He’s twenty-five minutes out at a truck stop. Probably working from his car or something.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From: Colum Bishop
To: AcesAndEights
Subject: re: It’s hot as hell, huh?
This is Lieutenant General Colum Bishop, and I’ve alerted authorities to this unauthorized use of my email. Having this email address is a crime unto itself, because this is a confidential channel of communication.
Identify yourself and explain your business.
“That motherfucker cut me out,” Kane playfully whines. “Why’d he cut me out of this chat room? Hey, anybody else remember using MSN back in the day? I wonder whatever happened to that?”
“Hush.” Jess presses her fingers to his lips and grins when he bites. “And he cut you out because he’s shaking in his boots. He’s terrified.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From: AcesAndEights
To: Colum Bishop
Cc: Kane Bishop
Subject: Don’t recycle subject lines. It’s annoying.
My name is Ace, and I’m gonna play a little game of Russian Roulette with you.
I have the guns and ammo, and you’re sitting your stupid ass outside of a truck stop that hasn’t updated its style since 1953.
I have Kane Bishop’s whereabouts, and I’m willing to trade him for five million.
Clean money, no tracking, transferred digitally within the hour. Do that, send remittance, and I’ll tell you where your boy is being held right now.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From: Colum Bishop
To: AcesAndEights
Subject: This is a federal offense!
I don’t know what you’re playing at, but you’re attempting to extort highly-ranked and respected military personnel! My son has been missing for months, thought dead, and has recently come back into my life.
If you think you can sour this important time for father and son to bond, then you have something else coming for you!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From: AcesAndEights
To: Colum Bishop
Cc: Kane Bishop
Subject: Don’t abuse exclamation points. It weakens their power.
How is this a time of bonding for you, when I know for a fact you’ve not spoken to him in months? He invited you to Jay Bishop’s memorial. Was the invitation lost in the mail?
How could you possibly know your mission was successful if you didn’t even attend the funeral?
Five million, into the bank account details I’ll add below.
One hour, or I walk into the closest FBI building and drop a whole laptop on their desks. I know for a fact you’ve bought and sold more than two thousand children. Girls. And that’s just in the last eight years.
You’ve coordinated and imported more than twenty-three billion dollars’ worth of cocaine.
Billion.
That’s nine zeros.
You’re directly responsible for more than two-hundred thousand high
-powered weapons now populating our streets in the hands of children who wage war against the very poverty you put them in.
I know you want Kane because he has this data on you too. I’m who tipped him off two years ago; I sent it again when you had Jay taken out. And I’m cc’ing him on these emails, just so we’re all on the same page.
I have no loyalties to your son, Lieutenant General; my loyalties are with the money. Either you pay up, and I destroy the data, or he pays up, and I give him your location.
He knows what you did to Jay.
I sent that email approximately ten a.m. today.
“I can’t afford you, Soph.” Smiling, Kane pushes a bag of chips across the table as a peace offering. “I can’t afford this blackmail.”
“I can. I can afford whatever the fuck I want.” Switching screens, I exit Redmond’s bank accounts and slide into Colum’s instead. “One, two, three…” Narrowing my eyes, I count and shake my head. “He has seven bank accounts just on my first pass, and a fuck-ton of available cash. We’re talking seven zeros, at least.” I turn to Jay. “I wonder if my future father-in-law will pay for our wedding?”
He barks out a laugh and smacks a wet kiss on my cheek. “I think he’s gonna be hella mad at you, Sugar Plum. He’s being hosed by a sweet ballerina; that’s gonna burn any man. Probably don’t expect anything more than towels for Christmas.”
“Shitty gift,” I grumble.
“Yep. And they won’t even be monogrammed.”
“No!” Andi gasps. “That’s just straight up rude. How dare he not monogram for his sweet daughter-in-law?”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From: Colum Bishop
To: AcesAndEights
Subject: Listen here, young man
I turn to a snickering Jay and smack his shoulder. “Why must Ace be a man? This is why women get pissy about this shit. There’s still a seventeen percent gender pay gap. Why?”
“Right?” Jess fist-pumps the air. “That’s what I said. This is a serious problem!”