While he hadn’t argued with D’s order for Jazz to be on the back of his sled during Sunday’s run, he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. But he’d leave it up to her whether to follow D’s order or not, since Crow normally didn’t like anyone hanging onto his back when he rode. But who else would she ride with? The brother she wanted to hook up with? The one she hadn’t named?
He wondered if it was Crash, Nash or Rig? She didn’t know any of the newer patched members and everyone else was already snagged.
He lifted the bottle to his lips once more, letting the amber liquor slide down his throat and fill his gut. He needed to numb his brain, forget her face as it twisted in pure agony this morning, her fingers gripping the tennis ball so hard, her knuckles had turned solid white.
He almost stopped a thousand times. Almost, but didn’t. He gritted his teeth and continued on, knowing in the end she was going to walk away with something beautiful. Like her.
She was so fucking young when those bastards extinguished her light, dragged her into the darkness against her will.
Fuck. She was still young. So fucking young. She had her whole life ahead of her. She could do anything. Be anything. She just needed the desire to move forward.
She believed this tattoo would help her do that.
But he could understand why she came back. To him. She trusted him to do the tattoo that she needed. Not just the artwork, but she trusted him with her body. Her skin. His touch.
She might not be the same with someone else. A random ink slinger. A stranger pressing on her stomach, working closely, having hands and fingers manipulating her skin. Seeing her exposed. Both her body and her past.
Maybe she shouldn’t trust him. Because all those years ago, when she was barely twenty-two... hell, even before that. At eighteen, at that moment he saw her in Hawk’s house moving to music, he knew it was wrong. She needed someone her own age. She needed to live her life, experience it with people her own age. Her college friends. The younger sisters in the club, like Kelsea.
He wanted to claim her, take her, make her his before anyone else did.
But there was no fucking way he’d be that selfish. No way he’d take her youth from her.
He’d find someone else. Older. On his level. Someone with more life experience. A little more jaded and less innocent.
But he hadn’t.
Fuck no. Pussy came and went. No one stuck. Some of them tried their damnedest to do just that, but he got good at breaking it to them easy. Sending them on their way.
If they lasted a week in his bed, that was too long. Because on that sixth night, he’d be sick of their shit and couldn’t wait until the morning light came and he could show them the door.
Because, fuck, they did not belong in his bed. And they certainly didn’t belong on the back of his sled.
But Sunday Jazz would be there, wrapped around his back like she belonged there.
She’d come home.
And fuck him for his own impure thoughts about a woman who was twelve years younger than him.
Who had gone through a bunch of shit and trauma.
Who could be scarred for life. Not physically, fuck no. He didn’t give a shit about external scars. But the mental ones? The emotional ones?
Hell, the sexual ones?
He took another swig from the bottle, noticed how much he drank, and with a curse, screwed the top back on it before putting it away.
Last thing he needed was to get fucking wasted, climb those steps to his bed and demand to know who the man was that she was interested in seeing while she was home.
Whoever it was better be right for her.
That was for damn sure.
* * *
She fucking hated crying. It solved nothing. Nor did it do anything to relieve the tightness in her chest or the anxiety that ate at her. Or the panic she experienced as they had ridden into the back lot at church late Sunday morning.
She thought everyone would have heard by then. But they hadn’t. Diesel kept his distance but kept a sharp eye on her as stunned familiar faces and curious new ones took her in as she dismounted from Crow’s sled.
She wasn’t quite sure if the surprise came from seeing her or seeing a female wrapped around Crow’s back on his bike. Maybe it was a bit of both.
But what upset her the most was the way people treated her. With kid gloves. The brothers wanted to hug her, but she could see the hesitancy on their faces. And if they were waiting for her to tell them it was okay, they’d be waiting for a long time. She never invited anyone to touch her, but if they did, she would grin and bear it.
All the ones she knew, she trusted, but she still wasn’t sure she was ready for them to squeeze her tight.
One who didn’t ask, or hesitate, was Hawk. He had buried his face in her hair like Crow did the first day, and he stayed that way for a long time. She wasn’t sure if the man shed a tear but if he didn’t, it came close. And that didn’t help the churning of her stomach and the sting of tears in her own eyes.
She did not want to have a breakdown in the middle of the parking lot surrounded by so many bikers and their women.
Hawk never let her go as he talked and talked to her until finally Jag had everyone mount up and start their sleds. As Road Captain, he was getting impatient to get the ride started.
D and Jewel took tail, so he could keep an eye on everyone and Crow took one of the spots in front of him, next to Slade and Diamond.
Jazz was shocked when she saw not only Di wearing a “Property of” cut on her back, but so were Ivy and Jewel.
She never thought she’d see that day.
The only one who could surprise her more would be Bella wearing one. And from what Diamond told her, Bella actually did wear Axel’s cut, but they weren’t usually welcome on one of the DAMC’s runs. Instead, Bella and Axel, along with Mitch and April, rode with the Blue Avengers MC, a motorcycle club for law enforcement.
Shit had certainly changed in the time she’d been gone. And the club had certainly grown. New brothers. New Prospects. And plenty of the new generation.
Grizz and Ace had the backs of their bikes empty since Momma Bear and Janice stayed behind at church and were watching all the kids. Janice was the only person, besides Jewel, that D allowed to babysit his girls. But then, if he couldn’t trust either the mother or grandmother of his daughters, who could he trust?
He probably had their rooms in his house booby-trapped.
Jazz smiled at that thought and it helped push away the last of the tears. She needed to get out of her funk and appreciate everything that surrounded her. The Angels, her grandparents, and the perfect weather. The day was sunny and warm, but not too hot. The breeze made her ponytail tickle one cheek while the other was pressed to Crow’s back. Her arms circled his waist tightly under his cut, so she could feel his muscles shift and ripple when he took corners.
Every bump in the road, every lean into a curve, was a good excuse for her to hold on even tighter. Between the vibrations of the bike and her crotch being smashed into his ass, she began to feel things she hadn’t felt in ages. Urges and desires she had buried long ago.
Tipping her face toward the sun, she closed her eyes and breathed deep, letting the spring air fill her lungs as she pressed even closer to Crow.
Her grandmother had scolded her for being too thin. And being so close to Crow made her feel small. He wasn’t one of the bigger brothers. He wasn’t bulky, he was made up more of lean, ropey muscle. But she still felt so much smaller than him. He might not be the biggest brother in the club, but he wasn’t weak. Not at all.
She uncurled her fingers from the front of his tee and spread them along his hard stomach. He was warm under her palms and only got warmer as she slid them down, planting one low, the other brushing over his bulky DAMC belt buckle. With her eyes closed, she continued her journey, exploring, until the Harley wobbled beneath them and his fingers snagged hers, raising them back up to his waist.
But not before sh
e had felt his hot, hard length.
She opened her eyes and, with heat rising into her cheeks, saw Diamond, who was riding on the back of Slade’s sled, grinning at her. Then she gave Jazz a thumbs up before turning her attention back to the road ahead of them.
The roar of the straight pipes soothed her soul as they weaved throughout the countryside for the next four hours. It was almost as good as listening to the music she loved so much.
What lifted her spirits even more was not only Crow’s reaction to her touch, but her own reaction, as well. That little exploration made her want so much more...
Chapter Five
“Why she with you?” Hawk asked as he approached, double fisting two beers.
Crow was sitting on top of one of the picnic tables at the very back of the pavilion, in a dark corner. He had a half-empty beer bottle of his own hanging from two fingers between his thighs. Since he had to transport Jazz home later, he didn’t want to be buzzing when he did it, so he’d been just nursing it most of the night.
Hawk lowered his bulk next to him with a groan. He handed a fresh beer to Crow and put the other one down beside him before scrubbing a hand over his short mohawk. Without needing to look, Crow sensed the man studying him.
“Know you ain’t a big talker for the most part but need a fuckin’ answer.”
Crow lifted a shoulder, then let it drop heavily. He lifted the bottle of lukewarm beer to his lips and took another sip. “Needs ink.”
“Where?” Hawk grunted.
“You know where.”
Hawk sat silent for a few moments, then said, “Still don’t get why she’s with you, brother.”
Crow knew what he was getting at but was going to ignore it as long as he could. With Hawk, he knew that wouldn’t be very long at all. His patience wasn’t quite as short as Diesel’s, but it was still pretty damn short. “D gave the order for her to be on the back of my sled today.”
“You know what the fuck I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”
Yeah, he did. “Wanted to keep bein’ home on the D.L. That got shot to shit as soon as D spotted her.”
“Right. Could stay with Grizz.”
“Yeah, well, she don’t wanna stay with her grandparents.”
“So, she’s better off in your fuckin’ house with you?”
Crow let his shoulder lift lazily again. “Yeah.”
“Not thinkin’ that’s true,” Hawk grumbled.
Crow turned his head to meet his VP’s gaze directly. “Sayin’ you don’t trust me with her?”
Hawk lifted a brow, then said, “Trust you, brother. Think she’s been through too much to land in your bed. Too young.”
Too young in general? Or too young for him? It wasn’t so long ago that Crow had to convince Axel and Z that Jayde wasn’t too young to be with Linc. And she had been the same age then as Jazz was now.
“She’s sleepin’ alone in my bed. I’ve been on the fuckin’ couch.”
Hawk studied him for a long moment and Crow turned to let his gaze sweep the courtyard once more. The only glow was from the roaring bonfire in the middle. Then there were the colored stage lights where Nash and his band, Dirty Deeds, were playing.
Other than that, it was hard to keep an eye on Jazz. She had made her rounds, talking to the brothers, talking with her sisters. Every once in a while, her head would lift, and her eyes would search the grounds. He wondered who she was looking for.
So far, since the run earlier and after she ate a good amount of roasted pig and all the fixings that Mamma B had set up inside, he hadn’t noticed her spending time with anyone in particular, brother-wise.
She’d also been avoiding Kiki. He got it. Hawk might get it. But Kiki needed to spend time with Jazz. So, he’d have a talk with her about that as soon as he got a chance.
And just like that, his thoughts were back on that day her life changed. Hawk and D had seen everything in full fucking technicolor. It had to be worse for them.
Crow could only piece the devastation together in his mind from what he’d been told, though he tried like fuck to avoid picturing any of that shit in his head.
Because if he thought about it too often, he’d want to slit a few throats. And D’s Shadows were already on that war path. They all knew that Squirrel and Black Jack had been dispatched. Hopefully, not humanely.
“Was a virgin. Know that?”
“Fuckin’ Christ,” Hawk barked, then dropped his head and shook it. “Nope. Figured since she was in college, was gettin’ it somewhere other than my place. Never brought a guy home once.”
“Said she’d been holdin’ out for someone... A brother. One who thought she was too young.”
Hawk released a loud sigh. “Wasn’t me.”
“No, wasn’t you,” Crow murmured.
“Who?”
“Not sure. Gave her a rundown on everyone already snagged. Said it was none of them. Figurin’ has to be Crash, Rig or Nash. Not sure who else it would be.”
“Fuck,” Hawk muttered. His gaze sliced through the courtyard. “Well, it ain’t Rig.” He jerked his chin to somewhere across the yard. “He’s gettin’ head from Tequila along the fence right now an’ don’t look like Jazzy could give a shit.”
Crow found Jazz by following Hawk’s gaze. No, she was ignoring Rig hanging onto the chain link fence like his life depended on it as Tequila was down on her knees in front of him. Her head bobbed in time to the rhythm of the fast-paced Judas Priest song blaring over the grounds.
He never touched that well-used sweet butt. Thank fuck.
He eyeballed the stage. Jazz’s mystery man could be Nash. The brother was busy jamming out, so, of course, she wouldn’t be hanging around him there. Crow studied the man as he sang. His long, light brown hair was loose, so it would fly as he screamed into the mic and strutted across stage, tossing his head. Occasionally, he’d pull on his long beard that had probably grown about six inches since Jazz left town.
It would make sense that Nash would be the one in her sights, especially since she loved music so much and now played guitar.
And Nash hadn’t been nabbed yet.
Yeah, fucking made a lot of sense.
But Nash declared himself a permanent bachelor. His band went on tour to biker bars across the tri-state area whenever possible and he had zero responsibility. He loved living upstairs for free and getting no-strings-attached snatch. He didn’t want any clingers holding him back from being a free bird.
Yeah, Nash wasn’t looking to be tied down with a woman.
She stated she wasn’t planning on staying in the Valley, so he doubted Jazz was eager to be tied down, either. Maybe she was looking for her first to be with someone she knew. Someone she had a crush on when she was younger.
“I was holding out.”
“For what?”
“For someone in particular.”
It wasn’t a “what” but a fucking “who.”
Kiki and Diamond slipped under the pavilion and Kiki moved to stand in front of her ol’ man.
“Where’s Ash?” Hawk asked.
Kiki tilted her head toward church. “Asleep in his playpen. It’s late.”
Hawk’s eyes narrowed on his wife. “Who’s watchin’ him?”
Kiki frowned. “Your mother.”
Hawk’s jaw got tight when he asked, “You get to talk to her?”
Crow didn’t think Hawk was talking about his mother, Janice.
Kiki shook her head. “She’s avoiding me.” She lifted a hand to stop Hawk before he could respond. “I get it, honey. I do. It’s going to take some time. I’m a reminder. Not a little one, either. A big slap in the face.”
“You went through shit, too,” Hawk muttered.
“Not like her,” Kiki whispered. She turned to Crow. “If it’s okay with you, I’m going to invite her to dinner sometime this week while you’re busy working.”
Crow took another sip of his almost flat beer before answering. “She don’t need my permission.”
“No,
she don’t,” Hawk agreed. “Ain’t her ol’ man.”
Kiki pursed her lips which made it look like she was sucking on a lemon, then she shook her head. “Honey, it’s called respect. She’s living in his house.”
“So fuckin’ what? Just temporary.”
“Oh, good Lord, Hawk,” Kiki grumbled, snagging the beer out of his hand and downing half of it. “See? You make me drink sometimes.”
Crow dropped his head to hide his smirk.
But Diamond didn’t bother to smother her burst of laughter. “Don’t they all? Stubborn fucks.” Her hand dropped to her belly. “Knock us up. Make us fat. Drive us to drink.”
Crow lifted his head and eyeballed Diamond. “You love your ol’ man.”
Diamond tilted her head, still smiling. “Right. But still... None of you make life easy for us.”
“If you wanted easy, baby doll, wouldn’t’ve waited for a brother.”
Diamond only hmm’d since she knew he was right.
Crow jerked his head at her. “C’mere.”
With a sigh, Diamond slipped between his thighs and leaned back into him as he placed his hands long her lower belly.
“How is he?”
“Good.” She looked over her shoulder at him. “You know Slade’s going to have a shit fit if he sees you.”
“Yep.”
Diamond shrugged. “Okay, just so you’re aware.”
“Feelin’ ‘im move?”
“Yeah.”
“When am I gonna feel ‘im move?” he asked her.
“Ain’t gonna feel nothin’ soon, brother. Slade at three fuckin’ o’clock.”
Crow turned to look in that direction and Hawk was right. Slade was heading towards them. Even in the dark, he could see the man’s attention focused on where Crow’s hands were.
“Told you,” Diamond whispered and pulled away.
Diamond stepped into her ol’ man’s path, but he skirted around her, approaching Crow. “Brother, had this conversation. Not fuckin’ once. Not fuckin’ twice. Too many fuckin’ times. You keep pushin’ me with this shit.”
Down & Dirty: Crow: Dirty Angels MC, book 10 Page 7