Shit. Fuck. Goddamn. She was crawling up his body.
Now what?
He couldn’t look.
He couldn’t.
But then he didn’t have a choice. She was straddling his head and perching above his fucking face.
What the fuck.
“Do what you did last night. Make me come that way.”
“Kachina, need to touch you,” he repeated as he stared up her body. So slim. So young. So inexperienced. But still...
He wanted her.
She shook her head. “No touching. Except with your tongue and mouth.”
She probably had no idea how torturous this whole thing was.
“Kachina...” He wasn’t beyond begging.
“Stop talking, start eating.”
What the fuck?
He stared up at her and she stared back down at him, her now blonde hair framing her face, her eyes unfocused. He wanted to kiss her, flip her over and actually make love to her.
He’d never done that before. Never had that urge before. Not with anyone. No. His whole life he simply fucked. He got what he needed. He gave the woman what she needed. And then he got gone. He never made love. He never stuck. But staring up at Jazz, shit was just different. He had no idea why. Seeing her naked and staring down at him with those jade green eyes of hers, her lips parted... He wanted to take her slow and gentle, show her just how good this could be. How right.
How satisfying.
Show her that sex wasn’t for punishment or revenge. No, it was for connection and closeness. He’d never had that before. All the women in the past were now... women in his past.
The woman above him was his future.
She was so fucking young, though... Even naked and aroused she still looked too innocent for him. He was hardly that.
“Crow.”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I’m going to sit on your face now.”
His lips twitched. “Yeah, baby, I’m good with that.”
She shifted forward and then her plump, shiny folds were right there... in his face and he did what she wanted.
He loved every fucking second of it. Even when she ground down on his face and he was almost smothered to death.
Jazz’s thighs trembled as she circled her hips slowly. The man was good with his tongue. No doubt about it. She had her fingers dug into his hair at both sides of his head—she should have undone his braid before they started, damn it—as everything he did to her made her arch her back and want to pull him closer.
Alternating between flicking her sensitive, swollen clit and sucking hard on it, she threw her head back and moaned. She wanted to experience what she did last night when he did the same thing, but that time she’d been on her back. And he’d had all the control. Tonight, hell, today—it was only midday—he had given her all the control.
At first, she was unsure of what to do. Then she let herself relax, tried to clear her mind and did what came naturally. The man was beautiful inside and out. His smooth, golden skin, his black silky hair, his onyx eyes, his soul-searching gaze.
And what surprised her last night was that he was tattoo-free except for the club colors on his back. She needed to ask him why. She assumed most tattoo artists had loads of ink. Why not him?
But that was a question for another time, because right now... Right now, even with him not “touching” her, she felt the heat sweep through her and her pulse race. This man knew what he was doing. She was sure he’d done it plenty of times with plenty of women.
Unlike her. When she had taken him into her mouth, she had worried she was doing it wrong. But his reactions proved she was doing something so right. The noises and the way his body arched and tensed, the tight grip of his fingers in the sheets. It didn’t seem as though he hated it. Not at all.
That gave her some hope. She shouldn’t have waited for the right man all those years ago. But she was waiting for a man like Hawk or Zak before she gave up her virginity. Not those immature high school classmates of hers. She had wanted someone who knew what they were doing. She listened to girls her age brag about banging so-and-so to all their friends, then turn around in private and complain how much it sucked.
She didn’t want to be disappointed, she wanted it to be worth it. So she waited. Then she came to the Valley for college. And she spotted Crow and knew he was the one. So again, she waited for the right time. The time when he stopped seeing her as too young.
Unfortunately, things went sideways before any of that could happen.
So she had a lot of catching up to do. A lot of things to experience. And she only hoped her mind wouldn’t cock block her. She only hoped her body would remain open and willing to Crow so he could show her things she missed out on. The intimacy, the pleasure, the connection of two people.
That’s what today was going to be. Breaking past that barrier. And it was all in her hands. No pressure, right?
Well, except for the pressure of Crow’s tongue and lips on her clit. She ground her pussy down into his face. She was getting slicker by the second and wasn’t sure if it was from him or from her. Either way, it felt like heaven. Pure ecstasy.
When his tongue slid through her folds, he made a noise. When it dipped inside her, he groaned.
Her breathing became ragged as he continued to turn her into jelly. Her legs weren’t the only things trembling now, her whole body quivered from what he was doing.
While his tongue slipped in and out of her, she imagined it was his cock. Long, hard, smooth... skilled. She imagined him pumping his hips slowly, making sure she enjoyed every second of him being inside her. Completing her. Gluing her pieces back together, making her whole.
Maybe she was expecting too much from him. For the most part he was a simple man. Unlike her, who was far from simple. She was messy.
Her thoughts. Her body. Her life.
But if she tried hard enough, maybe, just maybe, she could overcome all of that. For him.
For Crow.
Be the woman he needed.
The woman he wanted.
The woman he claimed.
Would he ever think of her like that?
Those thoughts exploded like a cloud of dust, disintegrating into nothingness as something built deep inside her. A tension. A swirl of heat that rippled through her, landing in her core, where he continued to relentlessly lick, suck and fuck her with his tongue.
The man gave good tongue.
Yes, he did. And she needed to concentrate on that and not the rest of the bullshit that wanted to distract her. The garbage sitting at the edge of her consciousness wanting to pull her from this moment. She wouldn’t allow it. No.
This moment was for him and her.
The man she wanted for so long, she had him right at that moment, so she needed to remain here in the room with him.
And like last night, the tension that built slowly within her suddenly exploded like her thoughts had. She cried out as she came, her pussy pulsating, her muscles spasming uncontrollably.
It was an indescribable high. The rush of blood, the rapid beat of her heart, the loss of her breath. After she reached the peak, the float back downward was just as satisfying.
Her mind calmed. Her body relaxed. Her thoughts now only of Crow.
“Fuckin’ taste so good, Kachina. You have no idea.”
No, she didn’t. But she would. She quickly slid back along his chest until his cock was wedged between her ass cheeks and she took his mouth greedily, finding not only her own scent, but the taste of her own arousal.
Now she knew what she tasted like.
He allowed her to take control of the kiss, permitted her tongue to explore him with no complaint.
Still, he didn’t touch her. His control was unreal. She pulled back until only their lips were touching and they were softly kissing. He was breathing her in, then giving her breath back. Back and forth. She gave, he took. He gave, she took.
She pulled away just enough to say his name. She loved h
is name and she couldn’t say it enough. “Crow.”
His name fit him perfectly. When she had done her college paper about him she had learned the large black bird symbolized intelligence, flexibility and destiny.
His mother couldn’t have picked anything more appropriate.
“Yeah, Kachina?”
“That was awesome.”
“Yeah, ‘specially when you exploded all over my face.”
She jerked her head back. “I did?”
“Yeah, baby, you did.”
“Is that good?”
Those skillful lips of his curled at the ends. “The fuckin’ best.”
“We’ll have to do that again, then.”
His warm, low chuckle sent a shiver sliding down her spine. “Whatever you need, Kachina.”
She knew what she needed. He had gotten her primed and prepped and she was so ready to take it further. She only hoped her mind wouldn’t fuck with her.
There was nothing more she wanted at that moment than to give herself to Crow.
Her gaze slid to his nightstand and when it did, his cock flexed against her ass.
He was ready.
She needed to be ready, too. She didn’t want to leave him hanging like last night. She didn’t want to disappoint him.
Hell, she didn’t want to disappoint herself.
“Ain’t gonna move, baby. It’s all you. Take your time. Make sure it’s right. I’ll be here. When you’re ready, you’ll know it.”
She glanced at the nightstand again. “I’m ready,” she whispered, more for herself than for him.
“Wanna touch you so fuckin’ bad, Kachina, that it’s killin’ me. But it’s all on you. So take it as far as you want to. I’m here for you.”
He was always good with his words. Wise. Knew just what to say for the most part. And she recognized what he was doing, trying to bolster her confidence. Make her comfortable.
For that, she was grateful.
“Wraps are in the drawer.”
She worried her bottom lip as she looked at the drawer for the third time and gave herself a little pep talk. She wanted this. She could do this. She needed this.
Then she took that next step, leaning over and reaching for the drawer, yanked it open, felt around for the box. Her fingers found it open. Found it half empty.
Of course, the condom he’d used last night wasn’t the first one from the box. Of course, he’d had sex with other women.
Of course, he’d had sex with other women in this very bed.
She’d be a fool to think otherwise.
She had saved herself for him.
He didn’t do the same. It was stupid to even let that thought bother her.
He was forty years old. He wasn’t a love-sick teenager. He wasn’t celibate. He was a sexually active adult male who could have almost any woman he wanted.
He was only doing this to help her like she asked. He was doing her a favor.
She probably wasn’t his choice in who he’d like to have naked in his bed.
He’d want someone curvier. More experienced. Sultry and sexy.
She was none of those things.
She was thin and bony and... and... scarred.
“Kachina.”
But even so, she needed to do this. He was the right one to help her get over this hurdle. She knew it. He knew it.
“Kachina.”
She nodded and plucked a condom out of the box and held it between her fingers as she leaned back and finally let herself look at him once more.
His eyes were darker than normal. His gaze flicked from the wrapped condom in her hand to her face, where it searched.
He was expecting her to back out. To call this whole thing off. To tense up and shut down.
But she couldn’t do that. Not this time.
She needed to push all thoughts away that might paralyze her.
She needed to remind herself who was beneath her.
She lifted her weight off him and shifted until his cock no longer was wedged between her ass cheeks, until it was in front of her.
She tore the wrapper open, slid out the condom, threw the wrapper over the side of the bed, and then when she grabbed his cock, he hissed out a breath. Ignoring that, she concentrated on rolling the latex down his length slowly, making sure it was on properly. At least she knew how to do that. Something she learned in high school thanks to a good Sex Ed program.
Not releasing it, she held it steady as she lifted herself up again and shifted forward once more.
“Kachina.” This time his name for her came out a bit choked.
Was he going to stop her?
He couldn’t. Not now. She needed to do this before he bailed.
“Jazz.”
She couldn’t look at him. Not yet. She lined herself up and once he was right where she needed him, she slid down on him with a whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Instead of a look of pleasure, he appeared confused. “For what?”
“For not being who you want me to be. For asking this of you.”
She closed her eyes as she lowered herself even further, concentrating on the way he felt inside her. Stretching her. Filling her.
She dropped lower.
Lower.
Finally, when all her weight rested on his lap, she took a slow, deep inhale, opened her eyes and met his.
She was shocked with what she saw.
He was fucking pissed.
Suddenly his hips bucked up, throwing her off balance. With an oof, she landed on her back on his mattress with him on top of her.
Somehow he remained inside her but she expected him to pull out and roll away.
He didn’t.
No, he stayed deeply seated and he dug his fingers into her hair and held her head so that she couldn’t look away.
“Fuckin’ listen to me, Jazz, an’ listen good. Only sayin’ it once... You ain’t askin’ anythin’ of me that I don’t wanna give you. Got me? I’m right where I wanna be. Inside of you. You, Jazz. No one else. Wouldn’t do this for anyone but you. I hated your hair black. I hated that shit on your face. I hated those clothes you showed up in. That’s fuckin’ true. But you ain’t wearin’ any of that shit right now. You’re fucking one-hundred-percent Jasmine right now. I asked for her back. You gave her to me. I thank you for that gift. You didn’t have to do it. You did. Know you did it for me an’ not yourself. You have no fuckin’ idea how much I appreciate that. You were willin’ to come back for me. An’ ain’t talkin’ about comin' back to Shadow Valley, baby.” He put all his weight on one arm and slapped his bare chest with his other palm. “You came back for me. That means more to me than what you realize. Know it wasn’t easy. Know what we’re doin’ right now ain’t easy, either. Will cherish this fuckin’ gift from you forever. Got me?”
She could hardly see him through the tears that had gathered in her eyes. She wasn’t crying because of what they were doing. She was touched by his words, no matter that they were angry ones.
His next words were softer, gentler. “Now... you okay with my weight on you?”
She sniffled and nodded, unable to see the beautiful features of his face through a blur of tears.
“Sure?”
She nodded again. “Yes.”
He melted against her and put his mouth to her ear. “Good. Gonna show you what you mean to me an’ how much I care ‘bout you. An’ show you how much I appreciate everythin’ ‘bout you. So hang on tight, baby. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she breathed.
Then he began to move.
Chapter Eleven
The tight heat that surrounded him pushed all the anger aside. He should’ve kept his cool, but he couldn’t. Not when it pissed him the fuck off that her self-esteem was in the shitter.
He understood why. But he hated it.
It was one more thing those motherfuckers stole from her. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure it returned.
But right now, the last thing he wanted to th
ink about were those asshole nomads. Not when he was deep inside Jasmine.
He was her first, so he needed to make sure she enjoyed the journey he was about to take her on. This wasn’t about him. This wasn’t about him getting off. Fuck no. This was all about her.
Because if he could get her through this without stopping him, he was going to prove to her how special it could be.
Yeah, sometimes sex sucked with the wrong person. Or if someone was a selfish fuck. But that wasn’t him.
He was the perfect person.
For Jazz.
She was the right person.
For him.
So even though he got angry when she worried about disappointing him, the truth was, he was more worried about disappointing her.
He couldn’t let her down.
He was moving in and out of her slowly but completely, her mouth near his ear. His mouth near her ear. He could hear her breathing change, her little gasps and shuddered breath with each unhurried, deep thrust.
This was no “slam it home” fuck until he busted a nut. This was a distinct dance he was teaching her. Or an intimate song she was learning the lyrics to.
The surprise in her voice when she said his name made him smile and whisper, “That’s it, Kachina, say my name. Tell me, show me how good that feels. You feel so fuckin’ good to me.”
“Crow.”
“Yeah, baby, I’m right here.” He had his arm curled beneath her shoulders, holding her close as he let his hips move in a rhythm similar to the song she sang the other day on stage. Unrushed and with a whole lot of meaning behind it.
“You always remember your first, baby. Always,” he murmured low into her ear. “Want you to remember how perfect this is.”
“Yes,” she answered on a hitched breath.
“Like what I’m doin’ to you?”
“Yes.”
“Love what I’m doin’ with you?”
“Yes.”
“Want more?”
“Yessss.”
“Feel you squeezin’ me tight, Kachina. Feel you ripplin’ ‘round me. You can’t imagine how good that feels.”
She whimpered and tilted her hips, letting them rise and fall with each painstakingly slow thrust.
“Want you to remember this moment, baby. Just me an’ you, makin’ that music you love so much.”
Down & Dirty: Crow: Dirty Angels MC, book 10 Page 13