by S. J. West
With a single thought, I reduce Botis to a pile of black ash on the floor at my feet.
I hear slow clapping behind me.
“Well done,” Belphagor applauds. “For a moment there, I wasn’t sure you had it in you.”
I turn to face a smiling Belphagor and let loose the anger I’ve been keeping at bay up until this point. With one thought, I toss Belphagor's body up against the ceiling in the room, effectively wiping his smug little grin from his face. I hear his skull strike the glass, causing a long crack in it from the sudden impact. I release my hold on him and let his body fall to the floor naturally. I sense him about to phase away and hold out an open hand, curling it into a fist to hold him in place. Obviously, my powers have grown to the point where I don't actually have to have physical contact anymore to stop someone from phasing.
“Did you really think I wouldn’t know what you did?” I ask him, feeling my blood boil because of his deceit.
“What are you talking about?” Belphagor asks, looking confused as he tries to raise himself up onto his hands and knees.
“The seal, Belphagor!” I scream, feeling frustrated because he’s making me explain something he already knows. “You didn’t give it to me!”
Belphagor looks even more confused, showing an adeptness at acting which only makes me grow angrier. I lift him up and toss him against the left side of the room face first. A spray of blood blossoms against the wall before he slides to the floor, groaning.
Belphagor lifts himself up and spits out a mouthful of teeth and blood onto the floor before looking back at me.
“I did give it to you!” He professes, trying to sit upright on shaky limbs. “I kept my end of the bargain and now you’ve kept yours. We’re even.”
“You’re lying!” I scream, feeling my anger break what self-control I had left.
I phase over to him and pick him up easily by the tops of his arms.
“Give me the seal now, or I’ll tear it away from your soul," I promise him. "Trust me, you don’t want me to do that.”
“I swear to you,” Belphagor says, looking feeble and weak. “I didn’t double cross you!”
“Yes you did!” I say shaking him violently, almost snapping his neck off. “I don’t have it!”
“Neither do I!”
“Stop lying!” I yell, feeling a blind rage take control of me completely. I squeeze Belphagor’s arms so tightly I break though his human skin and rip through muscle until I feel the hardness of bone press against the palms of my hands. Blood gushes onto the floor around us.
Belphagor screams out in pain, feeding my rage to a point where I begin to enjoy hearing his agony. He continues to try to phase away, but I keep him put.
“I swear,” he cries, looking at me with true fear in his eyes. “I gave you my seal!”
“No you didn’t,” I say, shoving my face into his. “But you’re about to.”
I wish for Belphagor’s death and watch without an ounce of remorse as he turns to black ash in front of me.
I wait for the power of his seal to incapacitate me, but nothing happens. Nothing at all.
“Anna... what have you done?”
I look up from Belphagor’s ashes to see Lucifer standing a short distance away from me. The expression on his face as he looks at the blood around the room tells me exactly what I need to know. The realization of what I just did strikes my soul like a hammer on a nail.
Belphagor didn’t double cross me. He was telling me the truth.
“I thought he was lying,” I say, trying to justify my torture and execution of the Prince of Hell. “I thought he tricked me into thinking he gave me his seal earlier when he didn’t, but…”
“You have the seal, Anna,” Lucifer says quietly. “I can sense it inside you.”
I look at the blood on my hands mixed with black ash.
“Oh my God,” I say, continuing to stare at my hands as if they don’t belong to me. A well of tears blur my vision as I stumble away from the pools of blood on the floor.
I feel my world begin to spin out of control. Have I become the monster I was warned I would transform into? I tortured Belphagor because I thought it would make him give me what I wanted. At least that’s what I tell myself. But if I’m being truthful, there was a part of me that enjoyed watching him suffer. Somewhere deep inside I gained pleasure in his torment.
As I look back at the blood splattered across the room, I suddenly feel sick to my stomach and vomit.
Lucifer walks over to me and places a comforting hand on my back.
When I stand back up, I feel lost. Who am I now? What am I?
“What do I do now?” I ask as I turn towards my father, my body trembling uncontrollably from shock.
“You leave this behind you,” Lucifer says, using the cuff of his shirtsleeve to wipe Belphagor's blood off my face. “You need to let this go and never think about it again.”
“I can't do that,” I say, knowing what I did will haunt me until my dying days.
Lucifer pulls me into his arms, trying to bring me some comfort. I begin to sob hysterically and no matter what Lucifer says to try to comfort me, I can't stop myself from crying.
I'm not only weeping for what I did to Belphagor. I'm also mourning the damage I've inflicted on my soul. How will I ever be able to live through this? How will I be able to even look at myself in a mirror again knowing the horror I'm capable of?
“Come on,” Lucifer says, gently pulling back from me. He takes hold of one of my bloodstained hands with his. “I know where you need to be.”
Lucifer phases us and I soon find myself standing in the sitting room of Malcolm’s New Orleans home.
“Malcolm!” Lucifer yells stridently.
Malcolm quickly appears in the doorway of the room. He immediately walks over to me and takes me into his arms. Within the safety of his embrace, I feel the full force of the horrifying things I did to Belphagor. I completely breakdown and begin to cry as my soul screams out in pain.
“What happened?” Malcolm asks Lucifer.
Lucifer tells Malcolm what he knows. Of course, only I can tell him the full story.
“Thank you for bringing her home,” Malcolm tells Lucifer. It’s probably the first time Malcolm has ever thanked Lucifer for anything.
“She needs you,” Lucifer says, sounding as if he’s finally realizing how important Malcolm is to my mental well-being. “She lost control of who she is. You need to help her cope with what she did and find a way to put it behind her. She’s going to have to forgive herself or her guilt will eat her up and do more damage than good. It will leave her vulnerable.”
“Like yours did you?” Malcolm asks knowingly.
“Just help her,” Lucifer says, not arguing against what Malcolm said but not agreeing with it either. “I’ll leave the two of you alone.”
Malcolm continues to hold me while I grieve for the part of my soul I lost that day.
“Anna,” Malcolm says gently. “You need to tell me why you thought Belphagor lied about giving you his seal earlier.”
I take in a deep breath and say, “Because I don’t have the seal on my back like I do the other two.”
“But you felt the power you received from it after the transfer, right?”
“I thought he did something to make me think he gave it to me,” I say, sniffling. “I thought he tricked me so he could keep the seal for himself.”
“Oh, Anna, I wish you had come to me with your suspicions. We could have found a way to discover the truth together.”
I grab the front of Malcolm’s shirt like a child holding onto a parent because she’s afraid she might drown otherwise. And that’s exactly how I feel. I feel like I’m about to drown in what the seals are transforming me into, and I desperately need him to help me keep my head above water.
Malcolm pulls away from me slightly and cups my face in the palms of his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes.
“Don’t let this destroy you,” he tells me. �
��We’ll find a way to make it through this, my love.”
“How can you call me that after what I just did?” I ask, sobbing.
“Because you are the love of my life. You are the love I was always meant to find and you’re mine. I won’t let the Princes of Hell or the seals steal you away from me. I’ll fight them all to keep you safe not only from them but also from yourself. I won’t let you turn into a monster, Anna. I’ll die before I let that happen.”
Malcolm pulls me back into his arms, trying to keep me safe in his small way.
But deep down inside I know not even his love can save me from what I’ve already become.
Author’s Note
I hope you all enjoyed reading Lucifer! The last book of The Redemption Series is entitled Redemption and will be out by Fall 2014.
If you would like to keep track of my writing progress on Redemption, please visit either my website (www.sjwest.com) or my Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cursed-The-Watchers-Trilogy/493117270724860#) each Sunday afternoon. As soon as I start writing Redemption, I will start the Redemption meter. That way you know exactly how far along I am in the manuscript.
Thanks for reading!
S.J. West