by Snow, Nicole
My heart thumped like a big bass drum by the time I saw the little outline of Spokane coming into view. My bike roared through the mountains, and the memories hit me harder than the Washington wind.
A soft, dark morning dawned on the last stretch. Perfectly somber atmosphere for what I had to do. I turned off the main road, bypassing the town center, and headed for the sticks.
My girl hadn't ever been cut out for the city life, so no surprise I'd shuffled her off to somewhere more peaceful, the last place she'd ever live.
* * * *
“Hey, babe.”
So fucking pathetic, but it was all I could muster. The angel was huge, and I'd gotten her face custom made to look just like my girl. I'd used this spot for confessions the few times I'd come here over the years, telling this crude stand-in for the real deal everything I ever wanted to say to flesh and blood.
I put my hand on her, trying not to wince when I felt how frigid she was, how she wouldn't even look at me.
So cold. So quiet. So absolutely pissed – and she'd got every reason in the world to be.
This wasn't an angel of mercy. Didn't deserve one neither.
I took my hand away, folded my arms over my cut, trying to muster the same manic energy I used to wheel and deal as Prez every day.
Didn't fucking work here. It was flat, worthless, dead.
“My whole crew's just about married now. Only got Stryker and a couple kids left to get their boozing and whoring out before they settle down just the same. It's funny, watching these boys turn into proper men after being bastards for thirty years. Old Southpaw's never gonna stop fucking his whores, but you know how that shit goes. He's a lot like your old man.”
I looked up with a smile, straight into the big stone angel's dark, vacant eyes. Nothing.
Fuck me, it hurt.
It split me in two from the skull on down. I'd gazed into the eyes of hell a thousand times since I'd put on this patch, stared down cartel captains and dirty rogues and kids who'd done terrible things because they were just 'following orders.'
None of that shit had anything on staring into my old lady's face cut in stone. I had to look away, turn my back, and settle onto the dirty ground, clutching at the grass.
I leaned into her robe, feeling how stiff, immovable, and timeless she'd become. I could've moved the whole damned world without her saying boo.
“Had our anniversary last week, Lizzie,” I said softly, staring at the big brass ring on my hand. “I'd have gotten up here sooner if I wasn't so distracted. Yeah, club biz, you know it, woman. Sorry I fucked up, babe. Again.”
How many times had I apologized? How many times had I wanted it to do some good, to see her magically look at me, throw her arms around me, tell me the past was the past?
How often had I walked away with jack shit?
“You know I'll always love you, Lizzie. It's not like the shit in my chest gives me any choice, even if it's getting older and harder every passing year. I'd ask you to forgive me for the thousandth time, but I know you won't.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a smoke, touching the tip to my lighter 'til it caught. “I don't deserve it. Never will after what I did to you.”
I leaned back against her, waiting for the morning sunlight to creep across the cool ground and warm everything up. Took about another twenty minutes, crouching there in silence, burning up my cig.
Then I lit another. And another. Must've smoked three more before the sun came out through the clouds, giving us some precious light.
Gold did funny shit to an old man's eyes. Made me think. Just enough to remember the good times wedged between the sins, before the darkness swept over us when I left, and wrecked me forever.
Wrecked us. I closed my eyes, tilting my face at my knees.
“You remember those days, don't you babe? Somewhere, somehow, I know you do. Feels like it was only yesterday.” I took a long pull off my smoke, filled my lungs, and held it 'til I almost choked. “Just tell me one thing – where the fuck does the time go?”
II: Firecracker (Blackjack)
Twenty-four years ago
Once, I wasn't gray. I had muscle, I had venom running hot in my veins, and I thought I was God's own gift to the wide open road.
Anything seemed possible before the constant nipping fire above my knee, or half a dozen other aches that came and went.
I was spry. Young. Arrogant.
An unapologetic motherfucker with long dark hair, short on fucks to give. Everybody walking on the planet answered to me, ever since I'd joined the baddest MC West of the Mississippi, and learned to love the dark snarling bear inked on my skin.
So, when I saw her working the new club bar outside town the very first time, I didn't know she was my own President's daughter. And I didn't fucking care.
She'd be mine that night for no other reason than the fact that I always got what I want, who I wanted, whenever I needed it.
Oki's words echoed in my head like the big old bastard was still speaking to me, that night he saw the way I was eyeballing her, trying to stop my dick from ripping straight out my jeans. Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't been so damned arrogant, if I'd only backed away, maybe we'd both be better off.
“I know you think you're hot shit, Blackjack, but we've got ourselves an order around here. You're gonna figure it out quick, or I'll knock your head off so fucking fast it'll spin like a fucking satellite.” Oki bared his teeth, lifting me halfway off my feet by my cut. “Stay the fuck away from my Lizzie. If I find out you've even so much as cat called her, I'm putting you under, and I don't give a single fuck who your old man was.”
Whatever you say, Old bastard. I stumbled backward with a nod, hating the way he rubbed my family shit in his warning.
Not like it was new. When your papa was a founding member in the club, everybody kissed your ass, resented you like you'd put a bullet in their favorite dog.
I'd had to work five times as hard as every other man wearing this patch to prove myself. I took shit from no one except the fucks who were entitled to serve it up.
Unfortunately, right now, that included Oki, a towering World War II vet who'd lost his soul on some God forsaken island in the Pacific forty years ago. How he made a chick like Lizzie, I'd never understand.
He'd barely turned back to his whiskey, grabbing the bottle and storming off to his office, before my eyes were all over her again.
Fuck. I couldn't look away.
Eighties rock blasted out the jukebox, and I thought it was Christ himself blowing his horn when I saw her, felt that pulse in my balls hitting my throat.
Green eyes. Long red hair. Shape like a fucking hourglass, perfectly crafted to activate that cave beast deep inside every man, the thing that wouldn't let me stop 'til I had her naked, screaming, digging her nails into my back while I owned her from the inside out.
Then she looked up. Our eyes locked, and I knew one of us would be a goner before the night was done.
No bones about it. I'd either fuck this girl 'til I owned her soul, or her old man would snap my dick off and toss it down the sewer.
“Whiskey, beautiful,” I said, walking up to the bar and slamming my empty glass down in front of her.
She looked down, her lips twisted all sour, but playful. Couldn't decide whether I wanted to bite them more than her sweet round ass.
“Haven't you had enough? Daddy doesn't like it when his guys get real drunk. You know we're out here, kinda one the edge. He says you need to be ready for anything.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. Just fill it the fuck up.” I punched my shot glass down on the wood again, wondering where the hell she got off.
Pretty bold to tell me I'd had too much.
Maybe there was more to the sweet little daddy's girl after all.
“You're awful brave for a bar girl,” I said, throwing my long hair back across my leather clad shoulders. “What the hell are you – seventeen, eighteen?”
Please be fucking legal, I thought, fe
eling my cock straining more.
“I'm nineteen, Blackjack.” She smiled shyly, grabbing a bottle of Jim and tipping it to my glass. We both watched the honey brown liquid pool, catching the light like dull gold. “Just trying to do you a favor, keep you sober and responsible. You're not the Enforcer yet, but everybody says you want to be someday.”
“Yeah?” I grabbed my drink and smiled. “You've been asking around about me? Shit, girl, why the hell haven't we sat down together sooner?”
“I like to keep tabs on guys my daddy hates.” I caught a flash of her soft little tongue razzing me through her lips before she turned around, grabbed her towel, and went back to polishing the counters.
“Say that again. I'll come over the counter, pull down those jeans, and spank your sweet cheeks blood red.”
Her head whipped around so fast her jaw was hanging. Inside, I was grinning all the way, happy to finally see some shock lighting up her face.
“Look, I never said I hated you. That's what daddy thinks.”
“Hm. I'm more interested in your thoughts, baby girl. Believe me, I know damned well how Oki feels about both of us.”
“He can be a little overbearing, right? Daddy's always been like that. Mister Upright Citizen, at least when he isn't in a fight or screwing somebody behind ma's back.”
“That's rough, babe. I feel you.” Without a smile, I stood up, placing my hands on the counter. “But you didn't really answer my question. It's obvious you know my name. You've been looking at me, probably more than I've been watching you...what's that say, Lizzie?”
“Well, I don't...”
She stopped in mid-blush. Took the moment while her face was turned, bright red beauty blossoming on her cheeks. Threw my legs over the bar and stormed across it.
My hands went around her waist, pinned her against the edge of the counter before she realized what was happening.
“Blackjack! This is crazy...he could come back any minute, you know.” Her eyes were wide and scared, totally fucking beautiful in their shimmering greens. I wanted to make them burn like forests on fire. “He's in the back...probably with that floozie, Butterbaby, his favorite...”
“You worry too much. Your old man's getting his dick wet the same way I oughta be with a woman like you. Let me guess...” My hands clamped down on her ass and jerked her closer. “You've been sheltered with the way he treats you, yeah? Always watching the brothers grab their girls and go off to fuck, while you can only stand aside and wonder.”
She whimpered. I knew when I was on the right track, and right now I read her fucking mind.
“How many men, babe? One, two? Don't tell me you're a kiss-less virgin.”
“What?!” She flattened her hands against my chest. The girl feigned pushing me away, but she wasn't really trying. “Do you ask every girl that the first time you have a conversation?”
I snorted. “Come on. You've been around this club long enough to know the way it's done.”
Her hand shot up and slapped me across the cheek. The burn sank through my skin and hit my brain, quick as booze, and I smiled.
“Hit me again, Firecracker. Only makes me want to rip your pants off and take you on this counter here even more.”
She gasped. I pulled her close. Before she could curse my name, my lips crashed down on hers.
We kissed volcanic, hot and needy as flowing lava.
I swallowed her heat, and she swallowed mine. Beautiful exchange. Gorgeous woman.
With her lips on mine, I was alive, truly hungry to devour her and stay in the moment. That was something special when I'd gotten used to draining my balls in sluts who's names I never remembered.
Fucking them was no different than blowing my damned nose.
This girl...fuck, what lips. Grabbing the back of her head, I tugged her face to mine, kept my nuclear hot lips on hers while my tongue conquered.
“Let's go,” I growled, breaking away, taking her hand and leading her into the bar. “Bet your papa never let you ride on another man's bike, did he?”
The smile on her face overwhelmed the questioning look she'd had a second ago. “No.”
Without another word, I led her to my bike. I'd give her a chance to own the road and let the wind speak before we did more talking on a motel bed, the side of the road, in the clubhouse, behind daddy's back.
Everywhere. Anywhere.
Christ, what the hell was happening?
I'd just met the first girl in my life I had to fuck to keep breathing.
* * * *
“Just look at all that fire up there and tell me it doesn't make you want to blow this town forever.” I pointed at the wide starry sky spreading over Spokane.
We'd stopped for the night on a hill, nothing between us but a blanket. Maybe she hadn't figured out this was where she'd spend the night yet, but I was gonna fucking show her.
“I can't,” she said, smiling and shaking her head. “Daddy would kill me.”
“Come on, Firecracker. There's a beautiful fuckin' world out there. Already been abroad, and I'll be doing more of it soon. I'll be riding all over hell – Oregon, Idaho, California. That's assuming the club doesn't send us East to make Montana our bitch. We're owning that state someday, and nobody gives a damn what Vodoo and the Prairie Pussies in the Dakotas have to say about it.”
“Prairie Devils.” She rolled her eyes. “You guys all hate them, don't you?”
“Only because they're in our way, love.” I reached for her hand, pulled her onto my lap, overpowering her when she tried to playfully resist. Lizzie settled down real quick when she felt my heat all over her.
“I'm surprised you haven't gotten it straight yet. This club takes what it wants, and never fails to get it. We'll fuck them all – Devils, Scorps, the gangs in LA. I don't give a shit. The Wild West has always belonged to the outlaws, babe. We're the only men who can hold it, tame it, own it.”
“Whatever you say.” She razzed me again.
My cue to slide one hand to the small of her back. My other went behind her head and pulled her into my waiting lips.
She kissed hotter than she had at the clubhouse now that she was free. Out here among the stars, it was just her and I, man and woman.
I kissed her like the bastard I was. Found her tongue, swirled it around with mine 'til her breathing told me she'd gone dizzy. My hand hugged closer around her waist, slipped below her jeans, feeling the wet spot on her panties.
Sweet fuck. She had the hots for me coming out her ears, assuming she didn't lose it all pooling out her pussy first.
Her whole body jerked when my fingers traveled lower, slipped below her waistband, going for her clit. That little nub made her sing sweeter than any girl I'd ever fucked before.
I'd never forget that first moan, or the thousands that came after it. Just a soft, feral little whimper, begging for my trust as much as she craved every inch I had pressed up against her thigh.
“Blackjack...” she moaned again, when I finally broke the kiss, let her come up for air.
“You've really never done this before, babe? Never had a man like me inside you, making your body tingle like it's balanced on a thousand needles?” I pulled her hair, touched my lips to her ear, and let my hot breath melt her a little more.
She squirmed when she felt my stubble, sensing the red hot words flowing through her ear. Fuck, if she wiggled a little more, I'd have to fight the urge to blow my load in my pants like a fucking virgin.
Growling, I grabbed her, flipped her over, put her where she belonged. Lizzie spread her legs instinctively, only showing a shred of fight left in her when she pushed against my chest with both hands.
“Wait, wait...this is happening so fast. It's too much, Blackjack.”
“Come on, babe. Don't bullshit me, telling me you don't want this.” I smiled. “Play your cards right, and you're looking at the one and only man who's ever going to be fucking you.”
My hand reached around her head, fisting her perfect red locks. Pulled
her face right up to my lips. She stopped resisting awful fast and her legs went slack, open for me to conquer.
I wrapped the blanket around us as I kissed her throat, working on her jeans' clasp. They came down hard, then her panties, jerked to her knees in a tangled bundle. I lowered my lips across her body, one hand massaging her breast, shoving aside her bra.
She moaned louder the deeper my lips went. My tongue grazed the sweet, trim landing strip going down to her slit, just as brilliant red as the ponytail in my fist.
My cock throbbed harder when I buried my face between her legs. My mouth completely dominated her, licking and sucking at her inner thighs, before moving straight to the goods.
And what perfect fucking goods she had!
Her pussy called to me, pink and succulent as a little rose. I can still remember her taste, stamped onto my brain 'til the day I die, the sweetest wet heat I ever tasted.
My tongue couldn't resist fucking her. I probed her virgin pussy with it, smothered her lips, plunged it against her walls 'til her thighs began to shake. Held them down like an avalanche covering an earthquake, and her hips arched a second later.
She rode me like a madwoman just as I found her clit. She came hard, scratching my scalp raw, pulling on my hair like her whole damned life depended on it.
Inwardly, I smiled, all I could manage with animal lust clawing at my veins. It'd take a fucking bullet to pry me off her right now. My mouth strummed her something beautiful as she gushed, buckled, and came her little brains out, riding my face to kingdom come.
Didn't stop 'til she pulled on my hair a third time. She practically ripped my long black locks off my scalp, and I fucking loved it. Made sure my dark stubble rubbed her thighs as I came up, slowly licking my lips, then bringing them back to hers so she could taste what I'd done to her.
“Oh, God,” she moaned, still trembling a little when I broke away.
One look, and I smiled. Knew I'd be shaking her a whole lot harder before the night was through.
“You just had your first hit of this mouth on your flesh, baby girl. Pretty fucking sweet, isn't it?” She nodded, trying to hide her bashful smile as I pulled her into me. I struggled to ignore the fire humming in my balls while I held her, stroked her silky red hair, awed by how beautiful it looked even when it was getting messed up by our sex.