Her chest compressed as she tried to keep the sobs from escaping. “Yeah.”
Jordan started laughing. A little drunk and a little crazy. “We all gave him shit about having a tampon stuck in his leg, but we sure as hell hit up the exchange when we got back to base and stocked up.” His laughter died off. “Bronze star with valor, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Should’ve been a fucking medal of honor.” Jordan finished his beer and threw it in the trash before heading in the direction of his tent.
Matt pushed up from his camp chair. “I’ll check on him.” He paused and stopped in front of Bree. He reached down, setting his beefy hand on the back of her neck before kissing her on the forehead. He put his head against hers. “Sawyer’s youngest is my goddaughter. Thank you.”
Bree closed her eyes and swallowed hard. Matt let go and headed after Jordan.
Jase lifted his hands from her shoulders and came around to her front. He scooped her up in her arms. “’Night guys.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck.
A chorus of good nights followed them as Jase carried Bree to their tent.
“You okay?” he asked.
Bree nodded against his neck.
“No, you’re not.”
Bree gave a small shake of her head.
His hold tightened, and Bree pushed her head farther under his chin, claiming as much contact as she could get. He set her down in front of their tent and unzipped the flap. She looked back toward the fire. Chris stood in front of Denise, as if trying to stop her from following Bree and Jase.
“Chris.” Bree waved her arm, telling him to let Denise by. Denise glared at Chris as she passed.
She hugged Bree tight. “Sorry, babe. I know you were hoping he wouldn’t remember.”
“Yeah. Shit happens.”
Denise looked Jase. “Take care of her.” She looked back at Bree. “Talk to him.”
Bree nodded. “I know.”
“See you in the morning.” She hugged Bree one more time before heading back to the fire.
“You wanna hit the sack?” Jase squatted in front of the tent.
She nodded and sat in the opening to remove her hiking boots. She scooted back onto the air mattress. Her bra came off without taking off her t-shirt. Laying down on the mattress, she shucked her jeans and set them to the side. She lay there, staring up at the peak of the tent, her hands resting on her stomach. Jase lay down next to her and took off his clothes except for his boxers. He turned off the electric lantern hanging from a D-ring, then pulled her close to his side. She tucked her face into his chest and inhaled deeply. A hint of woodsmoke lingered on his skin. “I dream about them. The guys I couldn’t get to. Even the guys I did get to.”
His fingers traced up and down her spine. “What do you dream?”
“They talk to me. Beg me to help them. When I see them, I freeze in place. Or I can’t stop the blood. They all die because I can’t get to them in time.”
“How often do you have those dreams?”
“Used to be every time I closed my eyes. Even when I took something to help me sleep.” She traced his collarbone with her fingers. “That was even worse ’cause I couldn’t wake myself up.”
“What about now?” The gentle baritone of his voice as soothing as his hands brushing along her skin.
“I’ve had a couple in the last few weeks. My doc said it’s normal, given what’s going on with the murders. My subconscious trying to process the new danger by relating to a danger it’s familiar with.” She rubbed her forehead against his collarbone. “I wish it’d find something different.”
“You gonna have trouble sleeping tonight?” His hand continued its motion. Calming her. Soothing her. She took a shuddering breath.
“I don’t know.”
“I’ve got you.”
“I know.”
The mug warmed her fingers as she stood on the edge of the bluff. The valley spread out below, blanketed in a wispy layer of mist in the early morning light. A breeze shifted through the branches of the trees, creating eddies of fog between the muted green branches, giving the illusion of ghosts walking amongst the trees. She drew a deep breath, trying to find peace in the stillness of morning. She smiled as she took a sip of her coffee, imagining what Jase would say when he woke and found she’d left him asleep again.
The crunch of boots behind her broke the silence. She looked to her right, surprised to see Jordan standing next to her. His hands in his pockets, he stared out over the valley. She looked down into her mug and took another sip, allowing the silence to stretch out.
“Did you recognize me?” he asked.
She glanced at him, but he was still looking forward. “Yes, but I didn’t remember from where until we were out on the beer hunt.”
“I’m sorry about last night.”
“It’s alright.”
She felt him shift and met his gaze. “It’s not. I shouldn’t have put you in that position.” He stared back out over the valley. “Of all the shit I experienced, over all the deployments, that day is the one I remember the most. Because of you.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Because I’m a woman?”
He snorted. “No. Because without you, a lot more guys would have died. Including Sawyer.”
“Oh.” She looked back out over the valley.
He sighed. “I’m going back.”
Her head snapped back to look at him, her eyes wide. “What? When?”
“Month or so.” He looked down and kicked a rock.
“Shit. That sucks.” There wasn’t much more she could say. No use asking if he could get out of it. He wouldn’t, even if there was a way he could.
“Yeah.”
They stood there for several more minutes.
“Anyway,” he said. “I wanted to say sorry. And thanks.” He pivoted and walked back toward the camp.
“Jordan?”
He stopped and turned back.
“Be careful.”
He nodded and walked away. She watched him approach the fire. Jase broke away and headed toward her, a scowl on his face. Yeah, he was annoyed she’d left him sleeping. She turned to hide her smile.
Both dogs raised their heads and looked in the direction of the front door before the bell even rang. Bree dropped her head on the back of the couch. I should ignore it.
This was the first weekend she’d had all to herself since the camping trip two weeks prior. Jase was on a trip until the next afternoon, and Denise was spending the day with her cousin. After all the drama over the last couple of months, a quiet afternoon on the couch was in order. The bell rang a second time. She sighed and kicked off the light blue chenille throw covering her legs.
She scratched Charlie’s head. “They’d better be selling something good.”
Dread settled over her when she checked the peephole. She dropped her head against the door frame. So much for a drama-free day. She unlocked the deadbolt and braced herself before she opened the door.
“Chad.”
“Hi. I know I’m probably the last person you want to see, but I was hoping we could talk for a few minutes.”
What could he possibly have to talk about at this point? Hadn’t they both said enough? She stared at him for a heartbeat. Dressed in his usual khakis and button-down, something was different. He seemed more reserved. Less flashy. She rubbed the spot between her eyebrows, sighed, and swung the door open. “Sure. Just a few minutes.”
She stepped back and allowed him to walk through. He waited for her to close and the lock the door. “Is the kitchen okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, that’s fine. Would you like some tea or water?”
“Uh, tea would be great. Thank you.” He sat at the small table in the kitchen while she poured two glasses of sweet tea. She set one glass in front of him before sitting on the opposite side of the table.
“What did you want to talk about?”
Chad took a large, audible gulp of his tea
and cleared his throat. “I came to apologize.” He glanced at her before looking at his glass. “I realize I asked you to marry me for all the wrong reasons. It was really selfish of me.”
Bree raised her eyebrows. Of all the things she had expected him to say, that wasn’t at the top of the list. Where was this coming from? Was it some new angle? What was he hoping to gain?
“I know you don’t have any reason to believe me. I’ve been in denial for a long time. When the cops questioned me about Jaelyn, I thought there was no way it was because of me. But then Patty was killed. I, uh…it made me realize how badly I was screwing up my life.”
“You had an affair with her as well?”
“Yeah. We…uh…yeah, I did.”
“What about the girl who was attacked?
“Her name is Rachel. I wasn’t involved with her while we were together. I’d only met her a week or two before she was attacked.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t understand it.”
“Why did you ask me to marry you?” She knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from him.
“When I met you, I was already gambling pretty frequently. I didn’t have nearly as much debt as I do now, but I was in pretty heavy. There were a couple of games, though, that I lost big on. And a couple more after that. I kept thinking I could make just one good bet and cover all my losses.” He gave a small laugh. “I just kept digging a deeper hole.
“Then I found out who your grandmother is and it seemed like the answer to my problems. Here you were with a big inheritance you didn’t even use. If we were married, I’d have access to it, and everything would be okay.” He shook his head a couple of times. “I know it’s stupid. I know it wasn’t fair to you, but I was in a panic. I knew if I asked at your grandmother’s party, you wouldn’t say no. To be honest, I never saw us together long-term.”
He twisted his glass on the table, running his fingers through the condensation. “You’re a lot. You’ve traveled the world. You’ve been to war. You have millions, but you work and lead a really low-key life. You intimidate me. I was surprised you let the engagement go for a week, much more a month.”
One corner of her mouth rose. “I decided the next day to tell you I wasn’t going to marry you, but you went out of town, and there just didn’t seem to be a right time. I didn’t want to be a bitch and do it over text.”
He glanced at her quickly, a small smile on his face. “You should have. Maybe I would have gotten my shit together earlier.”
“Why are you apologizing now?”
He took a deep breath and blew it out. “I don’t like that guy – the guy I became. My behavior, my lifestyle, it was all out of whack. Everything just kind of blew up on me all at once. I lost a couple of freelance contracts when it came out I was gambling on the games I was covering. A couple of my editors agreed to keep me on, but only if I got help. It was hard to admit – hard to face – but I realized I have a problem. So, I joined Gamblers Anonymous.”
“Good for you.”
“Yeah. It has been. It works on a twelve-step program like other anonymous groups, and one of the steps is apologizing to the people you’ve hurt. So, I’m…well…you know.”
“Apologizing?” A small smile played at her lips.
“Yeah.” His own smile answered hers.
“Isn’t it kind of early in the process? I thought apologizing was one of the later steps.”
“It is, but I talked to my sponsor about everything that’s happened. We agreed it would be good for me to do it now.”
Bree nodded, still unsure what he wanted to get from all this. She needed to let it go. Move on and get Chad out of her life. “It wasn’t exactly fair of me, either. I shouldn’t have said yes when you asked, and I shouldn’t have let things drag on for a day, never mind a month.”
“I knew you didn’t want to marry me. Hell, I knew you were planning on breaking up with me. But I was an asshole. So caught up in the gambling and trying to breakeven; you were like my Hail Mary. I can’t help but think if I had been a better person, Jaelyn and Patty would still be alive.”
“The killer is the only person to blame.”
“Intellectually, I know you’re right, but it’s still hard to accept they died because they were with me.”
“You need to try.”
He nodded and took another sip of his tea. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
“Okay…”
“I’m seeing someone. Well, someone I want to see, but she won’t go out with me unless I come clean with you.”
Bree’s eyebrows raised again. “Uh, who?”
“It’s Katherine.”
“Who’s Katherine?”
“She was the one you caught me with. She cut me off after you found us.” He scratched the back of his neck. “A few weeks ago, I ran into her at a coffee shop near where I attend meetings, and I apologized. We started talking. She turned me down the first couple of times I asked her out. I almost didn’t ask her again, but something told me I should give it one more shot. She agreed, but on the condition that I tell you and you’re okay with it.”
Her eyebrows raised. “She told you you had to get my blessing?”
“Basically, yeah.”
Really? It was hard to reconcile the image of the woman she had caught with Chad with a woman who would demand her blessing. But hell, why not? “I don’t think I really have a say one way or the other about whom either of you date, but if it’s important to you — to her, then you have it.”
“Thank you. She said with the way things went down before, she needed to know you’d be okay with it.”
“I can understand that.”
“So what about you? What’s the deal with this new guy?”
“I love him.” She grinned. “He loves me.”
“I’m glad. You deserve to be happy.”
“Thank you.”
He leaned back in his chair. “Katherine would like to have dinner with you one night. Not anytime soon. But maybe after a little time has passed.”
Forgiveness was one thing - she didn’t think she was up for dinner. Not even coffee. “Uh…let’s hold off on that.”
“Sure.” He nodded. “I’m going to head out.”
She walked Chad to the door. He turned on the threshold. “Thank you, for being so understanding. For hearing me out.”
“Of course.”
He raised his arms to hug her, but hesitated. Bree stepped forward and embraced him. “Take care of yourself, Chad.”
He squeezed her gently and let her go. “You too, Bree.”
“Private Morris, do you know if Cindy called in today?”
The young man rose from the front desk and stood at parade rest. “No, ma’am.”
She waved her hand down. “Sit, please. If she calls in, can you please let me know?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He remained standing.
“Thank you.” She left the desk with a sigh. When did she become a ma’am? She couldn’t figure out if they were getting younger or if she was getting older. Both, but it just made the new ones seem that much younger.
No messages on her work phone or cell. She called Cindy’s number again. Straight to voicemail. “Cindy, it’s Dr. Marks again. It’s about ten-twenty. I’m getting really worried. Please call me when you get this.”
She left her office and walked two doors down to Janet’s. Bree lucked out and Janet wasn’t with a patient. She knocked on the open door to get her attention. “Hey. What’s the process for a staff no-show?”
Janet looked up from the record she was annotating. “Military or civilian?”
“Civilian.” She leaned against the door jamb and crossed her arms.
“Not much, unfortunately.” She set her pen down. “You can call the local police and ask them to do a health and welfare check, but that’s it really. Unless there’s a reason.”
Bree chewed her lip, not sure she wanted to go that far.
“Who is it?”
“Cindy.”
Janet’s forehead wrinkled. “She didn’t call in?”
“No.”
“That’s not like her.”
“I know. That’s why I’m worried. Her phone’s going straight to voicemail.”
“You can always go by her house.”
“I don’t know if I want to wait that long, but I have patients and I’m going to be backed up as it is.”
Janet rose from her desk. “I’ll make a couple of calls. Go take care of your patients.”
Bree pushed away from the door frame. “What about your patients?”
“My next appointment cancelled. I have a few minutes.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
Janet rubbed her upper arm. “I’ll let you know what I find out.”
“Thanks.” Bree hurried back to her office and her next appointment.
An hour later, Janet tapped on the exam room door and popped her head in. “Hey. Sorry to interrupt. Come by when you get a chance.”
Bree glanced at the wall clock. “Give me about fifteen?”
“Sounds good.” The door eased close behind her.
“We can finish up now if you need to go,” her patient said.
Bree grinned. “Nice try, Mr. Hanson. You’re not getting out of it that easily.”
She tapped on Janet’s open door. “What’s the verdict?”
Janet swiveled in her chair. “The police did a drive-by. No one answered the door when they knocked. Without a reason, they couldn’t go in.”
“Crap. I figured.”
“Do you know anyone who might have a spare key?”
“No idea.”
“What do you want to do?”
Bree brushed a hand over her ponytail. “I’ll keep calling. If she’s not in tomorrow, it should be enough time for the cops to go into her house, right?”
Janet looked at her with wide eyes. “I don’t have a clue.”
Bree sat in her car and let the air conditioner cool down the interior. Screw it. She pulled the office employee roster from her purse and tapped Cindy’s address into her GPS. The directions led her to a well-maintained apartment complex north of the base. Cindy’s car wasn’t in any of the spaces close to her apartment, and no one answered when Bree knocked. The only window visible on the small, second-story threshold was covered by a thin curtain.
Stitched Up Heart (Combat Hearts Book 1) Page 24