by Curry, Edna
“Oh!” His arms felt wonderful around her. Desire slid through her and its heat made her bones feel liquid. She couldn’t move.
“I can’t get enough of you. And it’s driving me crazy.” His mouth came down on hers. “I dream of you at night, think of you at odd times during the day when I should be working. I can’t help it.”
“Me, too. Oh, yes, Cal. I want you so much.” With a little moan, she let her lips answer the need in his. She moved closer until there was nothing except his hardness between them.
His lips and tongue urged hers to answer and she forgot about their differences. Only the heat moving through her mattered. Only the urgency of their desires mattered.
Somehow they moved together down the hall to his bedroom, their mouths never losing contact.
He pressed her down onto the bed she’d made only a short time before and covered her body with his own, his lips leaving a hot trail down the line of her chin, then moving to the sensitive area of her collar bone.
Within seconds, he had her sweatshirt pushed aside and her bra undone. His lips moved down her throat and settled on her breast, closing over the tip and sending a jolt of electric reaction through her.
Lost in the delicious sensations he was invoking, she allowed him access. She wrapped her fingers in his hair and shuddered in pleasure. Her hands explored the solid muscles of his back and shoulders, and moved to unbutton his shirt so she could touch his bare chest. God, how she’d ached to do this over the past few days! Skin on skin felt wonderful.
He unsnapped her jeans, slid down the zipper and reached down between her thighs, his work-roughened fingers gently sliding back and forth, sending the signal of what he wanted. She knew he’d find her slick and ready. She closed her eyes allowing the hot wave of desire to shimmer along her veins.
He’d always been able to melt her defenses. She felt his weight press on her and she wanted him more than she could remember ever wanting anyone. His kisses sent hot waves of desire surging through her.
When he moved his weight to one side and began to slide her jeans down, she lifted her hips to help him.
In seconds, his clothes were on the floor as well. He grabbed his billfold and found a silver packet, then covered himself before returning to her with more kisses and caresses.
Then he was inside her and she moaned with pleasure. Why had they ever parted? He felt like heaven. Time faded away as only the wonderful sensations he was creating in her mattered. She wrapped her legs around him to hold him close as he thrust into her over and over. She raised her hips to meet him, never wanting the wonderful sensations to end.
Then joy peaked and soared and he followed her with a pulsing thrust and shudder. He held her close for long minutes as their heartbeats and breathing returned to normal.
When she could think again, reality set in. She’d said this wouldn’t happen again after the last time, hadn’t she? What was wrong with her? She lost all willpower when he touched her.
She wanted him, yes, even now. But there was no future in it for them. She’d have a short time of pleasure, then years of regret. That’s what she’d had from him before. That’s all she’d get now as well.
He shifted to the side and smiled at her. Reaching out a hand, he caressed her tenderly, but she pushed him away and sat up. “We can’t keep doing this, Cal!”
He pulled his hand away as fast as though she’d burned him. “No? Tami, what’s wrong? You said yes with your body. Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it as much as I did. And not only this time, but every time we’ve been together.”
Flushing, she admitted, “I know. And I did. Do. I can’t help it. You’ve always been able to make me want you. But we can’t. There’s no future in it. We’d only hurt each other all over again.”
“I suppose you’re right about that. I know you’re planning to leave again.” He slid off the bed and stood up, reaching for his pants. His expression was now as cold and stiff as a winter icicle on the edge of a Minnesota roof. He finished dressing and moved back to the kitchen.
She sighed, knowing she’d brought about the sudden change in his mood. But as she stood and put on her clothes again, she also knew she’d had no choice. LuAnn’s crazy idea of overdosing on him like chocolate was just that—crazy. She’d never get enough of him to not want more. Making love with him again, however much she wanted to, wouldn’t ease the pain in her heart. It would only remind her of what she’d lost all over again and worsen her pain. She didn’t need that.
Chapter 12
Tami didn’t see Cal again until the night of the reunion dinner.
She drove back to Minneapolis for a dress to wear to the party.
She and Linda had shared the last minute reunion details, assembling anecdotes on each participant from the letters they’d received, but leaving the job of being Master of Ceremonies to Cal. Then Tami printed it all out on the printer at her apartment. Cal could use or not use it as he chose. She had to get through the next couple days, then she’d come back to her job in the city and forget Conley, which was going to be very hard to do, she knew.
Arriving at her apartment, she found an urgent message on her answering machine to call Mr. Edwards.
With a sigh, she telephoned him, expecting to be scolded for being out of touch and to be given a new assignment.
Instead, he congratulated her and told her he was recommending her series of tornado stories for the paper's annual award. And, giving her a raise and promotion.
Tami thanked him, wondering why she wasn't more excited about his news. It seemed such an empty victory.
Her lovely apartment had never seemed more lonely and sterile. She’d give anything for the sight of wide brown eyes in a muddy and tear-streaked little face framed in dark brown curls just like his father’s. Or the grateful smiles when she’d helped someone in Conley. She’d forgotten how nice it was to walk down the street in a town where everyone knew you, smiled and said ’hello.’ Instead of turning their eyes away, sober faced and afraid of encouraging contact, like they did here in the city.
She couldn't shake the sadness she felt over knowing this weekend would probably be the last time she'd see Cal and Bobby. With a heavy heart, she packed her suitcase for the return trip to Aunt Cora's house in Conley. Early on the morning of the reunion, she had her hair and nails done for the first time in weeks. She needed to look her best, to bolster her courage to get through this evening.
When Tami arrived at Cora’s that afternoon, there was a message from Cal saying he would pick her up at six. Surprised at the unexpected gesture, Tami’s heart beat faster. She’d been afraid he’d avoid her. Maybe he did care about her a little, after all.
She considered calling to tell him she’d drive herself, but then she shrugged and decided to make the best of it and enjoy the evening. She could pretend nothing had changed between them if he could.
She and Linda had planned to go to Henry’s Place to prepare for the dinner. When Linda arrived an hour later, Tami showed her what she planned to wear. “I love that dress," Linda exclaimed. “Emerald makes your eyes look green instead of hazel and the full skirt will look great when you dance."
Tami chewed her lip. "You don't think it's too dressy?"
"No. It looks great."
They spent several hours decorating the banquet room with balloons, colored party napkins and the place cards they’d made. They spread all the high school pictures they’d collected on a memory table. The fresh flowers arrived and they arranged them in vases and put one on each table.
Then Linda dropped Tami back at Aunt Cora’s to get ready for the party. Tami dressed with care, applied her make-up and went downstairs to wait for Cal. Her stomach fluttered in anticipation of seeing him again, especially when she knew it might be the last evening they’d spend together in a long time. But she wouldn’t think of that now. Time enough to miss him later.
“You look great,” Cora commented. “You two have a good time. I’m watching Bobby tonight.”
“Oh,” Tami said, trying not to show her disappointment at learning Cal had to bring Bobby here anyway. Maybe giving her a ride was only a convenience thing after all, she thought, self-doubt rearing its head again.
If he was dropping Bobby off here, it wouldn’t look very neighborly of him if he didn’t offer her a ride to the dinner. She began to get nervous again, thinking Cal might be as embarrassed to see her as she was to see him.
Did he regret their hot lovemaking in his trailer? Desire moved through her at the memory and she closed her eyes against it. She still loved him. Heaven help her, she did and probably always would. Ten years apart hadn’t cured her of him.
But nothing was going to come of it. Tomorrow she’d return to Minneapolis and her career. Cold fear grabbed at her at the emptiness of that prospect.
She hadn’t realized how lonely her life was in the city, until she’d experienced the closeness of her friends here in Conley again.
But she’d blown it. Cal was not ready to love her again. She’d thrown all that away ten years ago, and only now saw how foolish that act had been. But she couldn’t change the past, so there was no point in dwelling on it. Somehow, she had to get through tonight without making a fool of herself.
Cal seemed cheerful as ever when he arrived. He greeted Cora with a smile and said goodbye to Bobby.
Bobby paused to look Tami over. “Wow. You look like a lady on TV!”
“Thanks, sweetheart. You look great, too.” She started toward him to give him a hug but, at Cal’s frown, thought better of it. Instead she waved goodbye to Bobby and followed Cal out to his pickup.
She hesitated, then dared to ask, “Should we take my car?”
“No, my pickup will be fine.”
“But…” He opened the door and turned to help her up the high step. With a shrug, she stepped up, then exclaimed, “You cleaned he inside!”
“Yes. Didn’t want to get our good clothes dirty.”
“Thanks, Cal.”
“You’re welcome,” he said. He got in and started the engine. Cal looked handsome tonight as well. He wore the suit she’d admired and salvaged from his house.
They said little on the way to Henry’s Place other than her giving him the paper of anecdotes she’d assembled for him to use as MC, telling him to use or discard whatever he wanted of it.
The evening became a blur of faces, hugs, chatter and laughter. Some people had changed very little, others were harder to recognize.
Linda had arrived early and even Sally had driven over to spend a few hours with them. Sam was still in the coma, she informed them, but the doctors were more hopeful now.
Tami found herself seated next to Cal at the head of the table, thanks to Linda, she surmised. Linda and her husband were seated on the other side of Cal, with Sally. Nothing to do but make the best of it.
She took a lot of pictures for her article, wanting to get them done with before the meal was served.
After the delicious dinner, Cal rose to lead the ceremonies, and to her surprise, he gave her full credit for writing his news of each of their classmates.
“Tami is a journalist now, and has also been writing articles about Conley’s tornado damage,” he told them all. “She said little about herself in this, but I want to tell you all her work has been instrumental in bringing a lot of financial aid to Conley. Without her interesting articles we would not have received a lot of the help we got, especially from our legislature. More than one of them informed me they hadn’t realized the extent of the damage until they read her articles and saw the pictures she’d taken.”
Tami gaped at him in surprise. Compliments were the last thing she’d expected from him. The pleasure of his words started a warm glow within her.
"As mayor, Conley's city council has authorized me to present Tami with this key to our little city." Cal held up a fine gold necklace with a tiny key on the chain. "Well, it gives you access to what's left of our town, anyway."
With a grin, he placed it around her neck and fastened it. Happiness at the wonderful gesture brought tears to her eyes. She tried to keep her voice steady as she thanked him.
The warmth lasted through the rest of the festivities, as everyone took a turn at telling where they were living now, and what they were doing.
A waitress called Sally to the telephone. When she returned, Sally had a big smile on her face. Through happy tears, she announced, "That was my mother. Sam has come out of his coma and is much improved."
A cheer went up around the room for their injured former classmate and Tami and Cal gave her hugs.
Then the band began to play and the staff cleared some of the tables, folded them and moved chairs aside to make room for dancing.
Cal returned to Tami's side and she thanked him again for his compliments. He smiled and squeezed her hand in reply.
One of the workers interrupted them, saying enthusiastically, “Tami Johanson! It is you! I wondered if you’d be here.”
“Hello?” Tami said, returning the woman’s smile tentatively.
“Don’t you remember me? Jenny Lind. From Mankato State? We were in old Professor Cander’s Greek Literature class together.”
“Oh. Of course. How are you, Jenny?” Tami said, trying vainly to recall any shared experiences with this woman.
“Fine. I’m teaching in Sparville now, working here at Henry’s Place on the side for extra money. Oops. Best I get busy. See you later.” Jenny hurried off pushing a cart full of dirty dishes.
Tami turned back to her friends. From the surprised looks on their faces, she realized the cat was out of the bag.
Shock and dismay warred within her as she looked at them, not knowing what to say next, or how to explain. She'd come so close to surviving the whole visit and had almost gotten through the evening. Now it was too late. They would know her for the liar she was. And probably hate her for it.
“Mankato State?” Cal said with a frown.
“I thought you went out east on that great scholarship to Vassar?” Linda said.
Tami swallowed, trying to moisten her dry throat and quiet her pounding heart. She picked up her glass and drank some water to gain a few seconds of time.
Should she lie again to cover up the lies of the past? Suddenly she’d had it with the whole mess. She no longer cared if her mother wanted to save the family pride.
Louise’s feelings in the matter now seemed unimportant, even silly. Tami had no pride left. Her father was dead and could no longer be hurt by it. It was time to face the music and tell her friends the truth. Carefully, she replaced the glass on the table and faced her friends.
“No, I didn’t go to Vassar,” she said, her voice sounding amazingly calm. “I didn’t get the scholarship. I don’t think I even had much of a chance at getting one. My mother only led me to believe I would. I was floored when I found out. I’d been such a ninny, bragging about going there, that I felt like a fool. So, I didn’t tell anyone and let you all think I got it.”
“But whatever for?” Linda asked.
Tami shrugged. “Mom always had everyone thinking we had plenty of money. I mean, she acted as if we did, so everyone assumed we did.” She smiled ruefully. “She had me believing it, too, until Daddy died and I found out there was no money for college.”
“That’s too bad,” Cal said, looking at her sympathetically.
“I’m sorry,” Linda said. “Why didn’t you tell us? I mean, it’s no disgrace to be poor...”
Tami cringed at the sympathy in their voices. Poor. How could Linda say that was nothing to be ashamed of? Even the word ‘poor’ sounded disgraceful. “I don’t know, I guess I was ashamed of all the lies. I didn’t want people to laugh at us. You know, because Mom always put on the dog so much, played ‘big shot’ as my dad always called it.”
“But after your father died, your mother sold his business. Surely you got some money from that?” Cal asked.
Tami shook her head, wanting to run and hide, but standing her gro
und. She’d started telling them her story now, and they might as well hear all of it. At least she’d be free of the fear of exposure of her lies.
“There was barely enough to cover the mortgage on it, bury Daddy and buy Mom the small house she lives in now in Mankato. So, I lived with her there to avoid college room and board costs and worked part-time as a waitress to pay for my tuition and books.”
“I’m sorry,” Linda said again. “We didn’t know. To think you had to deal with all of that alone. We're your friends. You should have told us!”
Tami smiled at them, still feeling vulnerable, but strangely light and relieved too. At last she was free of the burden of keeping her past a secret. Let them say what they would about it. It no longer mattered. Maybe it had never mattered to anyone except her mother and herself.
The band started up with a very loud number and Cal held out his hand.
“We’re supposed to start off the dancing,” he said.
Tami smiled. She had to give Cal credit for doing his duty, no matter what. She took his hand and moved onto the dance floor.
The band moved into a slow song and Cal drew her close into his arms. It felt like heaven to be held close to him again. She reveled in the warm comfort of him, breathing in the spicy scent of his aftershave. It was so different from the manly scent of his work clothes which had surrounded them the last time they’d been close.
She flushed, remembering how they’d made love in his trailer. But also almost made love outside in the dark beside her car. And the other time, in his pickup after buying groceries, and even in his basement, after the storm. If he hadn’t stopped, she’d have been willing to have him on that cold cement floor! No, she certainly had no pride when it came to Cal.
“I’m sorry about all the lies,” she murmured, wanting to let Cal know she regretted them.
“It doesn’t matter,” Cal said. “I know how your mom was about things like that.”
“Still, I shouldn’t have gone along with it,” Tami said. “I should have told you the truth.”