by Kaylee, Katy
On the back was scrawled a single line.
Stop looking for me, or she’s dead.
Fear crawled in the pit of my stomach. Redman.
I pulled Beth even closer, and we were both trembling.
“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
All that mattered was that she was safe, for now. But I knew it wasn’t over. As long as Ian Redman was still out there, still alive, it would never be over.
We were just beginning.
Chapter 22
Beth
We left the apartment, still scattered with dead bodies. I tried not to look at them. I tried not to see, but I knew that I would never be able to scrub the terrible images from my memory. The blood. There was so much blood.
It seemed impossible that there could be so much blood in a human body but the evidence was splattered across the walls and soaking into the carpet beneath my feet, and I left crimson footprints wherever I stepped. It dripped from the ceilings.
I was numb. I knew that, looking at the scene, knowing the horror I should be feeling but all that was there was an odd hollow ringing in my ears that wouldn’t go away and made the whole world seemed muffled.
After everything that had happened, my whole body was going into overload, and I couldn’t feel a damned thing. It was shock, I knew rationally. But the thought didn’t really register. I couldn’t get past the trembling that had started to shake my body uncontrollably. I couldn’t get it to stop no matter what I did.
It made every step nearly impossible, but Aiden’s arms wrapped around me steadied me. I knew he was talking low in my ear, but the sound just washed over me, drowned out by the too loud ringing.
He led me outside, but I barely even felt my feet moving. I was a ghost in my own body.
I stumbled forward, but Aiden held me upright, making sure I didn’t fall as he helped me towards a car parked out on the side of the street. He buckled my seatbelt without saying a word before getting in on the driver’s side and starting the engine. It purred to life beneath me.
He shot me a single worried look before driving away from that terrible place but I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave it behind as easily. It was forever branded inside of me. The death. The terror. The sound of the gunshots going off like firecrackers on the fourth of July.
I shuddered at the thought. I was pretty sure I would never be able to watch fireworks again without remember the feeling of Cooper’s blood being splattered across my body. The metallic smell of it filling my nose until I couldn’t breathe.
The city passed by me in a blur and I let it, not trying to hold on to any one place. It seemed like too much effort even to try so I just sat there, the world moving around me while I stayed frozen in place, unable to move, too afraid to try.
I don’t know how much time passed before Aiden was driving down the long drive that lead to his home. It seemed like I had just blinked and we were parked and he was walking around the car to open my door and help me to my feet.
I walked with him, shambling like a zombie, as he led me inside his home. It was in one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the city and he had spared no expense on the inside either, but for once, I didn’t notice the richness surrounding me. I didn’t admire the paintings on the walls or the sculptures lining the halls or any of the other fine details that my scientific brain normally catalogued.
My mind was fragmented, struggling to hold on to sanity. I didn’t have any energy left for anything else.
I wrapped the numbness around me like a shield. It I couldn’t fell, then I wouldn’t have to remember. I wouldn’t have to remember the fear, or the pain, or the anger, or the grief. I could just float in nothingness. Not happy. Not sad. Just…existing.
A distant part of me was aware of Aiden growling a low command someone that might have been Matteo, but It seemed like too much effort to turn my head and see who it was. It didn’t matter anyway. A moment later, Aiden was rushing back towards my side again.
Aiden took me in his arms, lifting me up and carrying me like a child down a long hall before pushing a door open with his foot. He carried me into the large, marble encased bathroom before setting me back on my feet. Slowly, he stripped off my blood soaked clothes and turned on the tap in the shower. The water was so hot that it instantly steamed up the floor to ceiling mirror but I was still frozen.
I turned my head and looked over at the mirror. And I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me.
The woman in the mirror had blond hair so pale that it was almost white, except now it was stained with crimson streaks that I shied away from. I didn’t want to look too closely at that.
Her eyes were enormous in her heart shaped face, the gray irises so dark that they were almost charcoal, and they were dull with shock. Her lips were nearly the color of her skin, which had gone ghostly.
Her body was curved where it was supposed to be. Working in the lab, I had never given much thought to my figure. It was usually hidden beneath a lab coat anyways. But now I traced the line from my large breasts and hips, accented by the tuck of my waist and the slight teardrop swell of my belly.
It was a good body, I’d always thought. Strong. Stable. Capable. Able to carry me through long hours of working nonstop on a research project or endless hours of grant writing. But now, it felt like the slightest breeze would blow me apart into a million tiny pieces. And if I shattered, I knew I would never be able to put myself back the right way again. I would be broken forever.
I was still lost in the reflection when Aiden leaned forward and picked me up once more. He moved me like a doll, walking with me into the shower that was large enough for four people to stand comfortable.
He arranged my limbs as he washed me, turning me this way and that and I let him. He washed my hair, his strong fingers lathering up enough shampoo to make a cascade of bubbles. My eyes drifted shut and in an instant I was taken back to the first night we had shared together. I had been frozen to the bone from staking out his men in the icy spring rain for hours in the dark.
It had been such a shock, seeing him after all those years. But in that instant, when his icy blue eyes had gazed into mine, a decade had fallen away and seemed like only moments.
But I had changed over the last ten years, and so had Aiden. We were no longer the young, naïve kids just starting our lives, so sure that we knew everything about the world already. So confident that we were ready for anything that the world threw at us.
God, we’d been so wrong.
I couldn’t stop replaying it over and over, connecting the dots in my mind as the water washed over me.
The first time I had met Aiden in the lecture hall of the University. Our whirlwind semester together. And then he’d left, without a word, without an explanation. I had gone on to get my masters researching the mysteries of the cosmos and to work in a small, startup research lab. I’d gotten over the heartbreak of losing him, or so I thought. I’d been happy with my life, even though I hadn’t had a social life at all. I had been content.
Then that night when I had gotten the call from my sister, the mysterious voice message that Leah had left me. The photographs she’d sent me which had lead me to finding Aiden, and then to working with him to find the truth about my sister’s disappearance.
The call from Luca with information, which had taken me to the old apartment building where Cooper and his gang were hiding.
I could see it unfold like a spider web in my mind, and I was trapped at the center of it. Because at the center, there was a black hole, always drawing her back, never letting her go. From that black hole echoed questions that I still couldn’t answer. Where is my sister? Where is Leah? What happened to her? Is she even still alive?
It had been thirty eight days and six hours since the last time I had heard my sister’s voice. Thirty eight days, and with each day that passed I grew more and more certain that I wasn’t going to find my sister alive.
I let out a shuddering breath, hating even the
thought of it. But I was a scientist, and I knew how important it was to look at things rationally and objectively. And now, numb and emotionless, I could see how slim of a possibility I truly had of finding my sister alive. So slim that it was barely even there at all.
“She’s dead.” I whispered the words. I had to say them out loud otherwise I would never be able to accept them as real.
Aiden leaned forward, his warm body pressing against my icy one as he reached for the tap and turned off the water before turning me around to face him.
“What did you say, tesoro?” Aiden asked as he stepped out, grabbed an oversized towel to wrap her in. He was looking at me as he dried my skin, my hair, and it made it so much harder to say the words again but I knew I had to.
“Leah’s dead.”
His dark brows furrowed as he tucked the towel even tighter around my still shivering body.
“You don’t know that, Beth.”
“Yes, I do.” I drew in another shaky breath, “Aiden, I think I’ve known it from the very first, but I didn’t want to accept it because I didn’t want it to be true. I’m not looking for my sister anymore, Aiden. I’m looking for my sister’s killer.”
He picked me up once more, holding me close against him but nothing could stop the trembling that was tearing me apart from the inside.
“Don’t do that, Beth. Don’t let hatred into your heart. Revenge won’t make you happy. It will destroy you, sweetheart.”
I looked up at him, letting him see all the dark, shadowy places inside me.
“Aiden, I’m already broken. I…I don’t know what to do any more.”
* * *
Aiden
My breath hitched in my chest at her words, my heart stalling painfully and fury washed over me all over again. Fury at Luca, at Matteo, at Cooper, at Ian fucking Redman. But most of all, fury at myself.
I should have known better. I should have done better. I should have done more to protect her and keep her safe like I swore that I would. I knew Beth, damn it. I knew that she would never be satisfied just waiting in the background for someone else to take care of things.
She was the type of person to charge ahead for the sake of answers without a thought or care for herself. And that was exactly what she had done.
I could still remember the fear that had paralyzed me when I’d found out that she had gone to Cooper’s hide out. Of pulling up to the run-down apartment building, knowing that she was inside with a killer who had no scruples when it came to getting revenge, and who had a hard on for hurting me after I’d cleaned out one of their weapons caches.
And then the sound of the gun shots firing from inside. I’d felt each shot as if the bullets had torn right through me. The image of Beth covered in blood would forever be burned into my memory and it stabbed into me like a god damned serrated knife, jagged and agonizing.
I should have been there. I should have stopped her. I should have…
With a curse I wrapped my arms around her. I couldn’t have stopped myself if I’d wanted to. I needed to touch her. I needed to feel her real and whole in my arms. I needed to know for myself that she was okay, that she was safe and out of harm’s way.
“I’m so sorry, bella. I failed you. This is all my fault.” The words fell helplessly from my mouth, brushing against her too pale cheek.
“What are you talking about, Aiden? You saved me. You saved Matteo.”
“I should have done more. I should have stopped this.”
I felt Beth stiffen in my arms but I didn’t let her pull away. I couldn’t force my arms to let her go. Not yet. Not so after seeing her splattered with another man’s blood.
“You mean, you should have stopped me,” Beth wrestled far enough away that she could look up at me, her gray eyes dark with emotion and enormous as she shook her head at me, accusation gleaming in the depths of her gaze.
I couldn’t answer. I was overcome with anger and guilt and grief. I couldn’t form the words.
“Stop it, Aiden!” Beth said sharply, and my eyes widened at the sudden temper in her voice. It was the only emotion I’d heard from her since I had found her in that old run-down apartment building. “Stop it right now. I mean it!”
I gave her a questioning look, still at a loss for words and her expression narrowed as the same anger in her voice shone from her gray eyes. They were like storm clouds as her gaze met mine.
“This is not your fault. I made my own choices. I made my own decisions that put me in that situation. Me! My choice, Aiden! You have no right to try and take that away from me! Do you understand what I’m saying?” She paused to take a deep breath, her voice calming a bit as she went on, “You don’t get to take responsibility for what I do. We can’t have a relationship like that. Either you trust me or you don’t, Aiden. You have to decide because I won’t have anyone who second guesses me all the time.” She looked up at me and the world stopped for a moment as I lost myself in her eyes. “Well? Are we partners or not?”
“I trust you Beth, of course I trust you.” I hurried to say, finally finding my own voice. But Beth just shook her head.
“You don’t act like it, Aiden.”
“I just…” I held her tighter, fighting for the right words, “I was so terrified. When I found out you were gone. The worst thoughts ran through my mind and was afraid I would never see you again.”
“If this is a partnership, we both need to be equals.” I said after a long moment, my voice rough with the fear that was still flowing through my veins. “That means you talk to me about what you’re plans are. Before you go off and rush into a dangerous situation on your own.”
“I wasn’t on my own,” Beth huffed softly, the temper in her eyes slowly fading, “You need to talk to me too, Aiden. I don’t like being kept in the dark.” She gave a hoarse, wry laugh and shrugged, “I guess neither of us are used to working with a partner.”
“I’ll try. For you, I promise you that I will try. But you have to trust me too, Beth.”
“I promise, Aiden.” She shuddered and her eyes went dark with memory, “Believe me I have no desire to go through any of that again.”
“Neither do I,” I whispered roughly, “I don’t think I could survive it tesoro.”
I could feel her trembling in my arms, the same shaking that had settled inside me like a brick of ice in the pit of my stomach.
“I was so afraid, Aiden.” She clung to me, a safe harbor against the storm raging through both of us, “I was so, so afraid.”
“It’s over now, sweetheart. He can’t hurt you again. I promise you. He can’t hurt you.” I said the words over and over again, praying that she would believe me. Praying that I could convince myself and all the while knowing that moment would haunt me forever.
A thick silence fell between us, both of us reliving those awful moments but after a few minutes Beth’s soft voice reached me.
“Kiss me.”
“What?” I asked in surprise, looking down at her but I could see the dark turbulence swirling in her wild gaze.
“Please, Aiden. Kiss me. I need you. I feel…nothing inside. Like I’m frozen solid and I don’t think I’ll ever thaw again,” she gave a shaky laugh and looked away, staring into nothing. “Please.”
My heart shattered at her softly spoken plea. I couldn’t deny her anything. I didn’t even try.
My mouth landed on hers as soft as a butterfly landing on a flower petal, my arms gentle around her trembling form but suddenly she was frantic in my embrace, grabbing me and pulling me closer.
“No, Aiden. I don’t want slow and gentle. I need…more. I need…”
I knew exactly what she needed. What we both needed.
“Will you let me take you?”
Her eyes clouded with confusion, “What do you think I’m asking you for, Aiden?”
“No, tesoro. Listen to me very closely.” My voice dropped an octave, going husky. “Will you let me take you? I’ve had fantasies of tying you up, blindfolding you and fuck
ing you so hard you’ll never forget how I feel buried deep inside your pussy.”
Beth sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes going wide at my rough words. I hold my own breath. Waiting for her answer. I wouldn’t push her on this. It had to be her call, one hundred percent.
“O…Okay.”
“Yes or no, bella. You have to be sure.” I couldn’t breathe. All I could do was sit there and wait for her to answer.
Chapter 23
Beth
I stared up at him, his words still echoing in my head. Is that what I wanted? To be tied up and helpless? To be blindfolded in the dark?
I drew in a deep breath as the questions rolled through my mind, remembering the apartment. Remembering how it felt to have Cooper’s men tie me up and have me at their mercy. It made fear spike through my body, dull from the shock but still there below the surface.
Aiden must have seen the fear flicker in my gaze because his expression softened, and he cupped my cheek with a gentle hand.
“Restraining you isn’t about making you helpless, tesoro. It’s about letting you focus only on your pleasure. Letting me take care of you. Letting me take show you pleasure like nothing you’ve ever felt before.”
Aiden’s voice grew even softer, even huskier and the sound of it washed over me, soothing me, driving away the doubts.
“It’s not about taking anything away from you, Beth. It’s about freeing you.”
“Freeing me by tying me up?” I asked hesitatingly, biting my lower lip. My heart skipped a beat but I couldn’t deny the liquid desire that swirled through my body at his words, at the images that they conjured in my mind.
“All you have to do is tell me to stop and I will. It’s not about a lack of control.” Aiden sweeps my hair back, tucking one stray pale lock behind my ear. “You are the one calling the shots, love. One hundred percent.” He leaned close. “Let me love you. Let me show you.”