by Rebel Farris
All of our musical instruments were set up on racks, and the piano sat in the middle of the room.
“How did you do all this?” I asked.
“You like it?” Jared wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me to him.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, we need a space that won’t get the cops called while we write and practice our music, and this room was just sitting here empty.” He shrugged and gave me a chaste kiss.
So that was it. We were really doing it. After meeting with Jared’s friend and coworker, Asher Cross, we decided to give it a go and start a new band. Asher was beyond talented on the drums, but the fact that he could play other instruments increased his understanding of the different variables of music and made him a valuable asset to the writing process.
But this—turning the office into a practice space—was a surprise. We didn’t have a name for the band yet, but we were finally going to start writing some music. Nervous excitement warmed me from the inside.
“Well, it works,” I said. “I’d no idea anyone was here until I opened the door.”
“Cool,” Jared said, his face lighting up with a proud smile.
His light blue eyes sparkled with delight, and his thick waves of black hair were coated with white drywall dust. My gaze fell on Cora and Cat, sitting in an area behind the door, set up with a shelf of toys and books to keep them occupied. I smiled at that because he always thought of the girls.
“What’re we doing for dinner?” I asked, setting my purse down on the armchair in the corner of the room.
“I ordered pizza, so you don’t have to cook.”
“Could you be any more perfect?” I asked, happy with his answer. I looped my arms around his neck.
“I’m only perfect for you,” he said and kissed my nose.
“I’m going to have to get used to this, aren’t I?” Asher asked, still sitting at his drum kit next to us.
“Totally, dude,” I said and stuck my tongue out at him.
We hadn’t known each other for a long time, only a few weeks, but Asher and I clicked. We enjoyed teasing each other.
“I need a beer,” Asher complained, rising to his feet. “Either of you two saps want one?”
“Yes,” Jared said.
“Sounds good,” I replied at the same time.
“You ready to get some work done tonight?” Jared asked once Asher was gone.
“Absolutely, but first, I’m going to go change into something with a stretchy waistband.”
“Okay, hurry back. I’ll set your guitar up for you.”
“Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he said, and then kissed me properly. “Now get your butt in gear.”
He slapped my ass, and my thoughts grew heated. It must have been written all over my face. He gave me a quick kiss, a heated look of his own darkening his eyes, and said, “Later.”
Now
It’s only a handful of seconds, but it feels like an eternity before Dex comes around the corner. He doesn’t stop. The determined look on his face grabs my undivided attention. His body collides with mine and pushes me into the mirrored elevator wall behind me as his lips descend. He pins my arms out next to my head and presses his body against me. The laptop bag and my purse slip off my shoulder and sag down to my elbow. He lets go of that hand and pulls them off, placing them on the floor, not stopping his assault on my lips.
With my hand free, I reach for him, but he catches it in midair. The doors slide closed and we ascend. He twists both of my arms behind my back and clamps my wrists down with one of his. I moan into his mouth. His other hand threads into the back of my hair and tugs, breaking the kiss. I pant for breath and open my eyes.
He tilts his head as he studies me. I try to look away, but his grip tightens in my hair, forcing me to look at him.
“Why? Why do you keep running away from me?” he asks.
I can’t answer that question. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t have the words to voice everything that’s constructed the wall between us. I bite my lip and avert my gaze, focusing on his chin. He spins me around to face the mirrored wall behind me and pulls me back to his chest.
“Can you see what I see, Maddie?”
I meet his eyes in the mirror.
“That’s fear, but what I know of you is that if you didn’t want this…” He tightens his grip on my hair even further, and my eyes roll back in my head. A breathy moan escapes my lips. “You could get out of this hold in seconds. You could fight me off and tell me to go away. But you like this. You desire this. You want me to be the one who does it, but you’re fighting me at every step. Why?”
I meet his eyes in the mirror. “You like this? Does it turn you on?”
“You turn me on,” he whispers in my ear and presses himself into my hands—proof that he means what he says. “You could grocery shop and I’d get hard watching you.”
A smirk tugs at my lips but quickly dies when I think about what he’s asking.
“What’s your breaking point?” I ask. “What could I do to make you turn away? Because everyone has one. And once you see inside, do you think you’ll still love me when I push you past that point?” He doesn’t respond, so I push on. “You say you love me so easily, but it’s not that easy. I’m dead inside. I’ve been that way for years. And this—this is where I come to feel. Nic’s the one who gave that to me… Does that bother you?”
“Do you fuck him?”
“No,” I answer without hesitation. “Never have, never will. But you might not be okay with what we do here either way. Evan doesn’t even know about it because he wouldn’t be okay with it.” I level a stare at him.
Dex nods, his brows pinching together. “Will you let me in?”
“Honestly, I’m having trouble understanding why you even want in.” I pull my hands from his grip and turn to face him. “Why chase after someone with so much baggage? Is it really worth the trouble?”
“I think it is,” he says gruffly. “Show me, tell me—either way, it doesn’t matter. I’ll be honest with you if any of it bothers me, but I also might surprise you.”
“I want to believe that.” I look up into his eyes, which have softened. “I do. I’ve never done this before and it… Letting someone in is hard. Letting someone see the things I’ve worked hard to keep secret. You know?”
“I get it, more than you know,” Dex says and tugs me to his chest.
His distinct, woodsy smell fills my senses, relaxing me. I finally put my finger on it. His cologne or body wash has a definite undertone of cedar to it. It’s comforting. I listen to his heartbeat under my ear and feel my body relax into him. He makes me feel safe and that in itself is enough to put me on edge. It’s getting easier to trust him the harder he fights to break down my defenses. I’m just not sure that’s the safest place for me.
The elevator dings to signal our arrival at floor twenty-five. We step out, and I lead Dex to the door at the end of the short hall. There are only two doors in this hallway. One leads to the emergency staircase and the other into the office suites. I swipe my card and place my thumb on the scanner. After a few seconds, the door buzzes and I pull it open. Dex takes the door and motions for me to go in front of him.
Loud shouts and gunshots echo around the room. The boom of an explosion shakes the floor as we walk around the corner. A first-person shooter game takes up the entire ten-foot-tall wall, in wide-screen glory, across from a sectional sofa. Dawn’s head of green hair, pulled up into a messy bun, is visible over the couch.
“Take that, bitch!” Dawn shouts into the headset. “I just owned your ass.”
She spots us as we round the corner of the couch. Silence fills the room as she pauses the game.
“Ruby, I gotta go. Mads is here. Yeah,” Dawn laughs. “I’ll let you know.”
“Working hard, I see.” I raise a brow and cross my arms in front of me.
“Eh, slow
day. Plus, Ruby’s been on my ass to try out that new demo she got her hands on. Honestly, it’s not bad. There’re a few graphical glitches near the edges of the playing field, but it’s some of the most responsive FPS play I’ve had.”
I just stare at her because half of that went straight over my head. She unfurls herself from the couch and stands before me. She’s a little shorter than me and curvier, like Bridget, but her cut-up black Resist tee and leather miniskirt display the badass that she is. She’s barefoot as she walks around the couch. I’ve known Dawn since I joined the derby team and introduced her to Nic. Back in the day, she was a crazy rebel hacker. She presides over anything and everything that has to do with tech in this business.
“Dex, this is Dawn.” I motion between them. “Dawn is Nic’s chief tech officer. Dawn, meet Dex, my boyfriend.”
Dex’s head jerks to face me before a smile graces his face. I take a deep breath because that’s the first time that title felt real for him. They shake hands and exchange pleasantries.
“Come on,” she says, motioning to us. “Follow me to my domain.”
We walk behind her down the long hall, past office doors. Most are open, so I’m not surprised when I hear the voices within.
“You cost me five dollars, Mads,” Vic says, leaning his blond head out the doorway.
I smirk at him and shrug. “Should mind your own business.”
Vic and Cole man the security desk this time of day. There are cameras everywhere in this building, and definitely one on the elevator. Cole appears behind Vic. His white teeth contrast with his dark skin as he smiles at me.
“You knew we’d be betting,” Cole says. “It’s the first time you’ve brought a man here that you’d let touch you.”
“Come on,” Dawn says to Vic. “You had to know that was a dumb bet—he’s only been here five minutes.”
“I’m Cole, by the way.” He offers his hand to Dex.
“Dex,” he says as he shakes Cole’s hand, then Vic’s as Vic introduces himself.
Dex glances at me curiously but doesn’t comment on the fact that I knew we were being watched and failed to tell him. I’d like to think I would’ve thought to tell him if he’d tried to take it much further.
“Now that you satisfied your curiosity about him,” I say, raising a brow, “I suggest one of you needs to be watching that feed.”
“On it, boss lady,” Vic singsongs as he turns back into the dark room.
“I’m not your boss,” I correct. “Just the voice of reason.”
Cole grins again before following Vic back into the dark room. “Boss’s mistress done put you in your place, son.”
I roll my eyes. They were forever calling me that around here because I’m the only person they’ve ever seen tell Nic what to do—and he actually does it. But I’ve had to endure a lifetime of him for that privilege.
“She did the same to you, shut up,” came Vic’s reply.
I snort as we continue to Dawn’s office. We only make it two steps before we’re stopped again, this time by the background-check guys. I lean back into Dex.
“You should get used to this,” I whisper to him. “Everyone here is going to be curious about you.”
“We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow,” Keith says. “We’ve already got a pool going for Third Thursday.”
I hold up my hand to stop him. “Quiet. Don’t tell me about it because then I hafta tell Nic, and he’ll shut that shit down.”
“You’re still on for tomorrow?” he asks.
At my nod, his eyes light up, and he ducks back into his office. The other guy, Richard, introduces himself.
“Nice to finally meet you,” Rich says to Dex. “I was wondering if you’d put in an appearance. I did your background check months ago.”
“That’s not awkward,” Dawn says. “Back to work, Rich. We have business to attend to.”
She places a hand on his face and shoves him back into his office, rolling her eyes. Another head pokes out, and Dawn cuts them off before a word is uttered, clearing the path for us. We finally reach her office, and she ushers us in, shutting and locking the door behind us.
“Sorry about that, Dex,” Dawn says, taking the seat behind her desk. “We don’t get many visitors up here. Plus, these guys have been with us since we started. We operate more like a family here than a business, most of the time.”
Dex takes a chair as I set my bag on the edge of Dawn’s desk and pull out my laptop.
“I’m not sure if this video has a self-destruct on it or any of those other hidden tricks. I didn’t turn it off, just shut the lid. I want you to see if you can find anything that might help us identify this creep. Something that might be embedded in the video?”
“I won’t even turn it on,” Dawn replies. “I’ll quarantine the hard drive and scan it, then download the files. If anything is there, I’ll let you know.”
“There’s something else I want you to look into.” I look back at Dex, unsure of how he’ll take this. “I’m sure you heard about Chloe?”
“Yeah, Ruby was telling me about it while we were playing earlier,” Dawn says. “Bridget called her.”
“Well, I didn’t want to talk about it over the phone, but I want you to investigate the hack into the WitSec database. See if there’s any sort of digital trail there too.”
Dawn nods. “You think it’s related?” I nod and release a long breath. “Got it. Is he trustworthy?” Her eyes dart to Dex.
“Yeah,” I reply.
“I hope so, since you just asked me to commit a felony in his presence. And I know he’s a cop.”
“I’m her boyfriend first, cop second,” Dex says, leaning forward in his seat. “You guys have a hard time keeping secrets.” He pins me with his gaze.
“She didn’t tell me.” Dawn shrugs. “No one did, but I make it my business to know everything about my friends. Especially this one, since she’s a magnet for trouble.”
I sigh as they watch each other, having some sort of silent battle of wills.
“Just know that if you hurt her, I can erase your identity and have you deported,” Dawn says, leaning forward and propping her elbows on her desk.
Dex smirks. “Is this before or after I’m buried in lawsuits?”
Dawn laughs. “Of course Bridget got to you first. We’ll probably rock-paper-scissor it out.”
They both chuckle, and I’ve the sudden urge to kiss him. I relax a little, knowing that he gets along with my friends.
“Right, well, we’ll get out of your hair,” I say. “I’m going to give Dex the grand tour. Just call me when you have something.”
“Can do, Cap’n,” Dawn says in a silly voice, raising her hand in a salute.
I huff a chuckle myself as I grab Dex’s hand and tug him out of his seat.
Now
We slip out of the office quickly and quietly to avoid getting caught in more conversations. When we reach the lounge room at the front of the office suite, I turn back to Dex. Going up on my toes, I kiss the corner of his mouth.
“Thank you,” I say, smiling softly.
He gives me a lopsided smile, revealing one dimple. I reach out and trace it with my thumb. A tremor runs through his body, and he closes his eyes.
“For what?” he asks, his voice a rough whisper as he opens his eyes.
I shrug. “For putting up with me and the threats from my overprotective friends. It means a lot to me that you mesh well with them. They’re important to me.”
His eyes light up. I realize with a start what I’m really saying—he’s becoming important to me. It feels like the floor dropped out from under me. How could I have let him worm his way inside, knowing that he could walk away? He might just yet. I turn back to the door and lead him to the elevator with renewed purpose. By the end of this tour, he’ll know the real me, and whether he sticks around after will be up to him.
The trip down to floor twelve is fairly quick. Bo
th of us are quiet, the nervous energy radiating off me, filling up the small space. We step out into the hallway. The wall of solid glass opposite us exposes the downtown landscape beyond. This floor of the building only has one room, and the hall circles around it, closing it off from outside view. The beige carpeting and plain white walls only serve to highlight the view.
I tug Dex’s hand so he’ll follow me to the nearest door. The door opens to reveal the pitch-black space within. I dig my phone out of my purse, then switch on the flashlight app and lead him down a few steps before urging him to sit in a seat.
“Wait here,” I whisper to avoid the echo of my voice. “I’ll go to the control room and turn on some lights.”
The control room sits on this level, just behind the elevator shaft. My heels clack on the concrete floor, echoing around the expansive space. I dig my keys out of my purse and unlock the control room with the master key Nic gave me long ago. I hit the master switch for the lights, and the click echoes loudly as the spotlights turn on, highlighting the stage area below. The black walls and seats absorb most of the light, but there’s still enough that I can see Dex looking around the room from the seat where I left him.
The room consists of a stage, with stadium seating on all four sides. It takes up both the eleventh and twelfth floor of the club and is the main area for shows that attract a lot of members.
I walk out of the control booth and approach him cautiously, building the courage to say what I need to with every step. Inhale, summoning strength and courage to move forward. Exhale, releasing my fears and reservations. My finger twists in the rubber band at my wrist in anticipation.
“We call this the arena,” I say, my voice a little rougher than I hoped it would be. I clear my throat. “They do all sorts of shows here. But only one that I’m involved in.”
I hear the snap of the rubber band as I let go of it, but I don’t feel it. Dex looks at my wrist. His brows draw together as he reaches out and gently takes it into his hands. He turns my hand over, inspecting my wrist.
“Why do you wear this?” he asks.
I hesitate before answering. It’s hard to put into words the things that I’ve never had the urge to explain before.