by LeAnn Mason
“I know! That’s why I’m going to get help!”
“My bear.”
“Your bear? What about him?” Maybe the bear was surfacing to help somehow? I took a step toward him, maybe I hadn’t heard him right.
“Stay away!” Nick gasped, a note of panic in his voice now as a growl ripped free of him. Standing up, eyes wild, Nick stared at the tree line to my left about a hundred feet away before stumbling toward the forest without another backward glance.
“Nick!” I was torn. Patting my pockets, I realized I hadn’t grabbed my phone that morning. Crap. Would it help to go back to the diner and fetch some of the dwarfs, or should I follow him to make sure he was okay? “Shit,” I cursed.
Neither option was optimal, but seeing as I no longer knew exactly where Nick was, sending someone to his aide would be infinitely harder. Another moment of swaying indecision and my choice was made. “Nick!” I yelled again, plowing heavily after him into the trees. Hearing the crashing of something big moving through the forest, I followed, assuming that was him. Normally, stealth was something he possessed, but as he’d said, something was wrong. Was it stupid running into the woods in pursuit of a bear? Absolutely. But Shifters weren’t wild animals. Nick wasn’t a wild animal. He was my friend.
My heart hammered in my chest. My nose ran, and my breathing was labored as I dragged in heaving breaths of cold air. I was probably a giant buffet sign to any normal animal in these woods right then. Not only was I being loud enough to be pinpointed with little effort, but I also reeked of food. An unfortunate side-effect of working in a diner.
Nick’s roar rent the air, causing a fluttering of wings and agitated caws further in, and I ran in the direction the birds had fled, knowing that anguish could only be the bear I searched for.
“Nick!” I yelled the moment I was close enough to see something that could be mistaken for Bigfoot thrashing ahead of me, another roar-yell answered my call. When I stumbled between trees, now able to see him, I stalled. He whipped his body around, back and forth, as if tracking something only he could see.
Something was definitely going on. Nick never had trouble shifting before, at least, to my knowledge. But there, he circled, mentally stuck somewhere between bear and man, and all kinds of freaking out.
I had no idea if I could help, but… “Nick, it’s okay. Everything is fine.” Cooing in my best soothing voice, I stepped slowly forward. Each step was measured and preplanned so I didn’t take my eyes off the flailing Shifter, from my friend.
Boyfriend?
He huffed a quick burst of air in an agitated grunt, and his face morphed to resemble that of his bear with an elongated snout encased in brown fur with black gums and huge, sharp teeth. His eyes still resembled his human side with white showing around his wide, terrified, now amber eyes.
Maybe that meant I could still get through to him. Another step closer, hands out in front of me in a placating manner. Only a few more feet to go…
“Nick, calm down and talk to me. What happened? Why are you so out of sorts?” Another step closer, and I was within hugging –or mauling– distance, but he wasn’t looking as wild. Those frantic jerks had slowed to something along the lines of worried shuffles.
“I’m here for you, big guy. Let’s calm down, and we can go get a big ol’ pie from the guys. On me. You still owe me a date; this one is kinda subpar so far, ya know?” Levity, it had been the key to my survival.
“Go!”
The garbled shout halted me dead. I couldn’t be sure what he’d yelled, but it didn’t matter. I was too close. Within a blink of an eye, Nick morphed from bear-man into full-on, battle-ready, raging bear. Spittle flying from his again roaring maw, the sound was deafening at such close range, and I stumbled backward, hands on ears.
The pain in my stomach didn’t register until my butt hit the root-strewn earth a few feet farther from the beast. Pulling my hand away from my belly with an agonized gasp, I stared dumbly at my fingers glinting in the morning sun, so much more visible here in the woods now that the leaves had fallen to litter the dirt where I still sat, leaving the sun a clear path to shine its rays.
My twitching fingers were coated in sun-bathed blood a startling ruby color more vibrant than some of the leaves I was sitting among.
Searing pain burned through my nerve endings now that I’d become aware of the injury. Gasping, body recoiling I both really wanted to investigate further but also didn’t. I mean, obviously, Nick had made contact during his shift into Teddy –whose name I might have to amend after this– but did I want to see the truth of it? Did I want to confirm the spilling feeling I’d felt when I took my hand away?
The pain and disbelieving nature won, my head tipping forward so that I could focus down to where my arm had unconsciously moved to grip the wound again. Funny the things our minds decided on instinct. I knew, without thinking, that I needed to keep pressure on the wound, at the very least.
Blood was vital to survival after all.
Vision blurring, white bursts of light exploded to take over my sight as I pulled the pressure away from my gut and felt the thick, sticky –life-sustaining– liquid leaving my body in much more than a trickle. My uniform shirt was dark red, so the color didn’t tell me much, but my pants were starting to turn red at the waist. Just the knowledge seemed to amp up the pain, and I screamed when I tried to move. My arm moved back to keep all of me where it needed to be.
The sound seemed to alert the bear to my continued presence, evidenced by the way his giant head swung my way. I wanted to scramble away, but my strength was quickly leaving my body to pool in a macabre puddle beneath me. The scent of blood wouldn’t be good for my survival in this situation, most likely only fueling the bear’s primal instincts. Who knew where Nick was at that moment? But he was definitely a passenger and not the one driving just then.
“You’re. Okay. Nick,” I ground out between shallow, panted, pain-filled breaths. A vain effort to help him come back, I couldn’t help but try. “You’re all right.”
Then, black engulfed my vision, all fight leaving me like the river of blood fleeing my body at a much more alarming rate than even I had thought. Eyes too heavy to open, mind too tired to think, limbs too heavy to lift, I couldn’t do more than fade into oblivion.
CHAPTER 10
NICK
“B IANCA!” I didn’t know what had happened; something had to be wrong with that mint. One minute, we’d been chatting, making our way to check on Mae and Rory, and then… I don’t even know. My head got fuzzy, my mind delayed as I became lightheaded. My bear did not like the sensation and tried to rise up, pushing, and I couldn’t keep him down.
So I’d run. Being next to Bianca, on the streets of the town, without knowing the how or why? I couldn’t risk it, and it had been the right choice. I started seeing things, things that couldn’t be there, and it only pulled my bear further to the surface. His need to protect me and others, namely Bianca, wouldn’t let him back down. Our defeat at the hands of those damn dark Witches a few months back and then being stuck in a human jail cell, well, he –we– weren’t failing again.
Except we had.
Her slow, stilted words, her pain and fear. The smell of blood, so much blood and… other bodily scents finally succeeded in shocking me out of my hysteria, only to be thrown into a new one once I’d returned to myself, the bear receding.
“Bianca, please. Please, please, please,” I pushed my hands harder against her torso where blood leaked freely. With one hand, I pulled up her sodden shirt… and vomited, barely getting my face cleared of her prone body. “Oh gods, no. How could I?” Blood wasn’t the only problem; the claws, my claws, had gone deep enough to penetrate things that needed to remain whole.
Putting more pressure on a wound I knew was a death sentence, I prayed I was wrong. That I hadn’t done it myself. That I hadn’t killed the girl I liked. Hysteria crawled up my spine, threatening to shut me down, so I locked it up, but not before a stray line of wate
r leaked from my eyes to roll along my cheeks toward my chin before dropping with a splat to Bianca’s unmoving chest. Her pulse had dropped dangerously low with the blood loss, but now? Now, I couldn’t find it as I pawed frantically at her wrist, her throat. It wasn’t there. She was gone.
I had killed her.
“Omigod, no.” Drawing my arms beneath her slight body, I cradled her to my chest as my anguish burst free. The roar was like a shockwave as it wrenched from my soul, my bear joining me in mourning her loss.
The fact that we had done it, taken this bright light from the world was enough to shatter me.
Unsure how long I held her, I only knew the sun was higher in the pristine sky, coming to reach its apex. The brightness of the day was a lie. A raging autumnal thunderstorm would have fit the occasion much better, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t stay here, like this, with her, forever.
Gently laying Bianca back down to the earth, I rose in search of my cell phone. It had been in my pants pocket when I’d spontaneously changed and destroyed said pants. My eyes were still obstructed, half-filled with tears, but locating the largest piece of my shredded jeans wasn’t too difficult. There was only one person I knew to call. Looking down at my hands, sticky with thick, dark blood, I shuddered.
Bianca’s blood.
“Hunter, man, I need your help.”
“What happened?”
“It’s Bianca. I don’t know what happened, but my bear… she’s dead, man.”
“Dead? What do you mean? Where are you?”
“In the north woods, about a quarter-mile in.”
“We’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Irrationally, knowing that my friends were coming calmed me fractionally. Enough that I realized being naked wouldn’t be the best way to be seen just then. Luckily, there were caches of clothes throughout the Grimm Woods for just this reason. Most of the Sentinels were Shifters after all. Having someone I could call, someone who would come – no questions asked – was a huge relief, a small margin of functionality returning to my screaming mind. I knew Jason would have come for me last time if I’d called, but my head had been a mess, my body mangled…
Not much different from now, except this time, I was the only unknown. There were no crazy, destructive, Dark Witches running amuck and gunning for one of our own. No, just one crazy-ass bear Shifter who apparently still hadn’t gotten a handle on his PTSD.
Shit! I mean, how had I let this happen? How could I be a Sentinel if I could lose myself like that…
If I could kill someone accidentally.
If I could kill a friend.
Girlfriend?
My bear rose up with a growl as our senses snapped back to the very messed up present when we picked up the thunderous approach of multiple unknowns. Logic told me it was Jason and most likely Red, seeing as those two were joined at the hip lately. But the more I listened, the surer I became that there were at least two other people in the stampeding herd that would soon descend on the location where I still stood, covered in blood, not far from the ravaged body of… a friend. My limbs began to shake with the effort to stay human, my bear reacting to the possible threat barreling our way.
Fighting might be the only way we escaped this mess, but… I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t run, not from these consequences. I was dangerous. I wouldn’t forgive myself and didn’t expect anyone else to either.
“Nick! Man, it’s me. What’s going on?” Jason’s half-shifted voice greeted my searching ears, the rushed footsteps, crunching leaves, and snapping of twigs lessening, becoming more deliberate as the pack came into visual range. Allya’s scarlet cloak, flapping with each jerked movement, was easiest to pinpoint.
The girl was brave to make herself so obvious in dangerous situations, and I couldn’t help but admire her for it. She’d changed a lot since Hunter had first brought her into Grimm Hollow, the reality of the extent of the supernatural world eye-opening. But for both her and her best –human– friend, Mae, they’d only grown with the knowledge.
Jason, channeling Hunter, moved into point position– the tip of the spear, so to speak. A very tactical placement where the best soldier headed the group; on high alert. “Nick. Where’s Bianca?” He didn’t have a weapon up, just his hands, showing he wasn’t a threat. The action used to try and keep from triggering my beast into reacting.
He’d done enough of that already.
Stumbling on stiff legs, I turned to move to Bianca’s side. Legs collapsing, I bent over her, brushing a lock of onyx hair from where it lay strewn across her porcelain skin. Those ruby-red lips were still the vibrant color I loved to see part with a beautiful smile. But…
Never again.
Once the group, which consisted of Jason, Allya, Rory, and lastly Mae, felt that I wasn’t about to break into a rampage and try to murder them as well, the girls rushed toward where their friend lay, wretched cries escaping as they crumpled at her side.
With sudden clarity, I reared to stand, backpedaling until my back slammed into a thick tree trunk, far enough away that the others could mourn without my lumbering interference. The scent of sorrow was like a blanket; added to my own, it tried to smother me.
I felt eyes on me where I stood staring at the dried blood covering my hands. Looking up, I gazed into shrewd golden eyes several feet away, between where I stood and the keening group. Those haunted eyes knew. Rory had only just figured out the secret to keeping his lion under control, like, a week ago. Before that, he’d been a threat to anyone and everyone around him. Hell, he’d lost control only last night.
But now he watched me like he expected me to burst into fur and teeth at any moment. He would know.
“How you doin’, brother?” the Prince Regent of the Grimm Hollow Shifters asked quietly. His corded arms folded across his massive chest, and his stance widened, but not aggressively, more like watchful. The longer he scrutinized me, the less combative he appeared. “I know the struggle, but you’ve never been at odds with your baser side, have you?” When I shook my head, he continued. “What set him off? What happened?”
The rest of the group attempted to contain their audible grief as they too listened in on the burgeoning story, sniffles and hiccups still escaping. “I dunno, man. I came into the diner this morning after my shift and making sure all y’all were good to go. I sat, had breakfast, and witnessed the less than stellar reunion Bianca had with her stepmother.”
“Stepmother? Bianca has family, other than the dwarfs, here in Grimm Hollow?” Allya asked, thrown. The scars on her throat stood out at the angle she twisted her head to look at me even as her hands still stroked down Bianca’s exposed arm.
That made me feel guilty too. If I hadn’t been bested, I’d have been there to help her take down that sadistic asshole Seth. He’d never have gotten near her. But that was another fault to dwell on, not the relevant issue of the moment. “I’d never seen her before. She was alone but Bianca mentioned Elsie, Gloria, and Jasper. I got the impression she was maybe an Elder from another town, though I’m not sure which one–”
“Back to what happened, Nick,” Red chastised, coming back to herself, to the present loss. She tried to hide her emotions, but the bite in her tone was sharper than she intended. Closing her permanently golden-hued eyes and blowing out a breath, she visibly gathered herself once again, her grief making her reactive.
She’d been moving her hand absently down Bianca’s arms as if needing to touch her friend. As if this were all just a bad dream. Moving further, she scooped up Bianca’s hand, encasing it within her two, eyes peeling open they begged me to explain why her friend was dead.
I couldn’t.
Jason wasn’t saying much but kept a hand on Red’s shoulder where she knelt at Bianca’s side. I could see the worry in his gaze when his amber eyes met mine. The pinched look that didn’t stop with his expression but extended throughout his honed body. He didn’t want to believe me capable of this. He was worried about me, about Allya… just worried
.
“I grabbed a mint from a table on the way out of the diner. We were heading to the mansion, to you and Mae.” I nodded at Rory where he’d shifted to make sure he still stood between me and the others. I understood. I didn’t hold it against him. Not only was it his job to protect the Shifters, but he was in love with the little human in their midst. The one who was grieving the loss of a friend, one of the few she had in this crazy new world of magic and monsters she’d been thrust into.
And it was another punch to my gut.
“She wanted to make sure you were all right, Mae. And then… I don’t know. I started seeing things, my bear got agitated and aggressive…”
“How did you get here?”
“What?” Jason’s question pulled me from the dark descent I teetered on the ledge of.
“If you were going to the mansion and you started freaking out… how did you both end up here?” Jason’s questions seemed cold, clinical, but it was his nature and his training as a Sentinel. He tended to avoid his feelings when an operation didn’t go as planned. When people got hurt. No doubt he was somehow blaming himself.
It wasn’t his fault though. It wasn’t anyone else’s but mine. I’d done this. I’d killed our friend.
“I tried, man. I told her that something wasn’t right and to go. But… she followed. Found me when I couldn’t control my shift any longer. She was... she was too close,” I choked out.
The admission broke me, and I slid down the trunk, head in blood-soaked hands, the rough bark biting into and scraping against my bare skin. It was only fitting that I left my own blood on the forest floor today, though the amount the tree would exact wasn’t near enough to atone for what I’d done.
That blood would forever stain my soul.
My attention snagged on Allya where she sat gripping Bianca’s lifeless hand like it was a lifeline; there was an odd look of grief and confusion marring her Native features. Something had caught her attention, and she was trying to work it out. I’d become fairly adept at reading her since we’d spent those weeks training together. I knew better than to ignore it. Anything to pull me from the spiral I was losing myself to. That could wait until I was alone with no one around to hurt except myself.