by Brown, Tara
His dark-brown eyes watch me, "No reason. Just amazing there is a vigilante who is a little girl like you."
I frown, "I'm not so little, trust me."
He follows me into the woods. Leo senses my shitty mood and stays close.
"How did you come across such a magnificent animal?"
I shrug and walk into the forest, "I don’t know, luck I guess."
Leo lifts a lip. I snort, "He hates you."
He chuckles.
I turn around and face him, "Animals are a good judge of character."
His bushy dark eyebrows lower, "What is that supposed to mean?"
I step towards him, "I see the way you eye up Anna."
He shrugs, "She's a beautiful girl."
My hand twitches with the want to choke the life out of him, "She's seventeen, so she's an actual girl."
He scowls, "Oh. I thought she was twenty-something."
Disgust creeps across my face "How old are you?"
"Thirty-eight."
He looks forty-five. His dark hair is greasy and thinning. His thin face is sweaty and wrinkled, like he was fat before and his skin hangs a bit from the weight loss.
I make sure we are eye to eye when I speak to him, "This is your warning. I kill perverts. I kill them every day of the week. Ones bigger than you and stronger than you and meaner than you. If I even suspect you're a pervert, I won't give you another warning. This is the one you get." I point back towards the cabin and use Will's words from the camp, "This isn’t a democracy. I know it looks like one, but that’s my cabin. I will kill you in a heartbeat."
He flinches and backs up, "Hey…"
"No. You don’t talk. You just hear me." Leo steps towards him and growls.
He swallows and nods, "Okay." I see it in his dark eyes, he wants me dead. He wants my cabin and the people who are there. The people I call family.
Ron comes walking up, "Hey, Em." He smiles and waves.
I smile back, "Hey, Ron. Allan was just going to collect firewood. Why don’t you escort him and show him the ropes?"
His smile grows, "Welcome, Allan. It's just this way." He points and starts walking.
I turn to see Leo nuzzled against Will, who is leaned against a tree.
He looks angry.
I point, "He…"
"I trust you. I trust your instincts. If you say he eyeballed Anna, I trust that."
I walk to him and let him wrap his arms around me "I just don’t want to act like a crazy psycho. I feel like my feelings are all wrong. I thought that about Bernie, but he was kinda grossed out when I told him how old Anna was. He assumed she was closer to my age."
Will pulls me back, grinning like a fool, "You admit you were wrong about him?"
I sneer, "He's a whiny little bitch most of the time," I sigh, "But yeah, I was wrong. He isn’t a pervert. Not all guys are perverts I guess."
Will nods towards Allan, "Allan's a lot older than Bernie is. He's old enough to be Anna's dad. Not cool." His eyes narrow.
I smirk, "You made me bring him up this damned hill. He knows the way to the cabin."
Will speaks over my head, "I don’t think we have to worry about him going down the mountain, Em. He looks at my sister again and I'll snap his neck myself." I see the dangerous glint in his eyes and nod.
I look back at Allan and Ron rounding the corner to the woodpile. Ron and Bernie both have turned out to be nice guys. I look back at Will and smile.
Will looks down on me, "You let me handle it though, okay?"
I agree, "Okay."
His smile turns mocking, "Look at my girl getting all civilized."
I pull back and walk away, "Ass."
His tone reflects the smile on his face, "Whatever you kill, make sure it's big. I am starved."
I pull an arrow and head to the sweet spot.
Meg finds me alone, sitting on the hillside listening. I barely hear her sneaking up on me, "You're so quiet, Meg. You need to teach Jake to do that."
She rolls her eyes, chewing on a piece of grass and plops down where I'm sitting. "He ain't never gonna learn how to be quiet."
I snort, "Yeah, I guess not."
She nudges me, "You all right then?"
I shake my head, "I hardly know." I look at her dirty face and frown, "How are you dirty already, it's morning?"
She sticks her tongue out, "I was chopping firewood. I gotta do something with all my extra energy. Ron is gonna be the death of me. I think I'm almost a virgin again."
I growl, "Stop talking like that."
She grins, testing me, "Why? It shouldn’t bother you that you're a virgin and I ain't."
My cheeks flare instantly and I lower my gaze.
I see her jaw drop, "Oh, no way. You did it? Which one of them hunky brothers got the golden goose outta ya?"
My nose wrinkles, "Stop being disgusting about it."
She laughs and lies back, "I bet it was Will. That’s who I would want. He's a real man. He'll take care of ya. I think Jake might only ever take care of one thing. Not that it's a problem but a girl's gotta eat too, ya know."
She laughs and lies back, "I bet it was Will. That’s who I would want. He's a real man. He'll take care of ya. I think Jake might only ever take care of one thing. Not that it's a problem, but a girl's gotta eat too, ya know?"
I cover my face with my hands and moan. I want to choke her but I don’t. I breathe deeply, "You know, I can go through a lot of shit and still it doesn’t feel as disturbing as a conversation with you."
She snickers and chews the grass. I listen to the woods and glance at her after a minute, "You okay to stay if we leave again?"
She nods, "I don’t trust Mary with Sarah."
I nod, "Me either."
Meg taps her foot, "You hear that?"
I strain my ears and shake my head.
"That’s Jake and that bitch, Star, fighting."
I nudge her, "She's my sister."
She scowls, "No way."
I nod once.
She grimaces, "Sorry."
I shake my head, "I don’t know her. I know she's different. I wanna feel bad for her for what she's been through, but I feel like she brings it on. Being all flakey and shit. She makes men think things, ya know?"
Meg points her piece of grass at me, "No means no, Em. A girl could walk through these hills naked as the day she was born, and no man has the right to take nothing. There ain't no way to act that gets you that kinda attentions."
I feel bad for saying it. "I know. I shouldn’t have said that. She just annoys me. She acts so sweet and dumb and I think she's thinking things."
She smacks my arm, "No, you shouldn’t say that or hate her. She's your kin. I'm sorry for what I said."
I sigh, "Don't be."
The ground cracks behind us. I see the little blonde head and bright-blue eyes and smile instantly.
Sarah walks up and sits next to us. She leans into me, "I missed you guys."
Leo makes his way over and curls up next to her. She rubs her small hands into his thick fur.
"You okay?" I ask.
She nods, "Mary is kinda mean. She doesn't like me or Meg much."
I look at Meg who shrugs, "She ain't no meaner than my momma was."
I raise my eyebrows and look at Sarah. She nods and gives me a knowing look.
"Ill talk to her." I mutter.
Meg sighs, "Don’t do that. It'll only make her meaner. If she gets outta hand I'll knock her around a little when no one else is around."
I laugh. Sarah looks hopeful, "You should. Beat her little brat too."
Meg points her grass at me again, "That little bastard is evil. God forgive me for hating a child but that there is Satan reincarnated."
I laugh harder. Leo raises his head, giving us a look.
Meg nods at him, "Leo knows. That kid’s a little shit."
Sarah sighs, "She got mad at me a couple days ago ‘cause he hit me and I hit him back." I notice the way she is talking, is starting to so
und like Meg. I take her hand in mine and squeeze, "She touches you again, you get Meg. This is our cabin, not hers. She's a guest."
Sarah gives me a smile and looks past me to Meg. Her smile turns to a slightly evil grin. It looks like Meg's.
I sigh, "I gotta shoot something. You two gotta be quiet now, okay?"
Sarah stands and dusts her patchwork pants off, "I'm gonna go. I need a drink."
Meg gets up too, "Me too. See ya back there, golden goose." She nudges me and saunters off. I could swat her.
They leave and I get my wish, the one I've had for a long time. I pull an arrow and I take a deep breath, waiting for the sound I need to hear. Leo crouches low and pants softly. The wind is on my face, the air is fresh and clean and Leo is by my side.
I smile down at him and take in a slow, but deep lungful of the clean forest air.
"If I die in this moment, Leo, it'll be okay," I mutter.
Leo half closes his yellow eyes. I crouch down with him and run my fingers through the fur on his head. We listen as birds chirp and squirrels fight.
Its silent bliss until I hear the sound I want. I stand slowly and pull back the arrow. I spot a huge, colorful male pheasant. Instantly my leg burns where I got shot a few months before. I take deep slow breaths, sighting him in.
He moves through the woods slowly. I plan his next step and release. The arrow slices through the base of his throat. He thrashes and drops.
I walk over and grab him by the feet. Leo sniffs him. I step on the wings and pull the feet. His skin and wings suction from him. I gut his belly and cut his feet off. He's a big boy. I glance at the quill scars I still have on my hands and arms and chest. I shake my head and start back to the cabin. I leave the remains in the woods, like always.
Leo sniffs them but when he sees my face he stops and pounces about the forest after me. I get back to the cabin to find them laughing. The outdoor cookstove is going. Anna was smart enough not to cook in the cabin.
Jake sees the pheasant and grins, "You kill it with your bare hands?"
Will smiles, "You know her, she probably sweet talked it into coming to her."
I roll my eyes.
Star comes and takes it, "I'm pretty good at cooking them."
I nod and let her take it, "Okay." I see Meg eyeballing her and grin.
Star takes it inside to start prepping it. Meg glares at Jake, "Go help her find the pots and shit."
He jumps up, "When did you get all saucy?" I catch a glimpse of a slight limp as he walks inside. Whenever he gets up fast, it's there.
I shout after him, "She's in charge here, when I'm not here."
He looks at me from the door and grins, "She's exactly like you. You, her and Anna are like the same hateful girl."
I toss a stick at him as he ducks inside and closes the door.
Meg gives me a look.
I wash up with the bucket of water there and take a bowl of oats from Sarah who is helping Anna. I wink at Sarah. She tries to wink back but fails and blinks both eyes.
I point at her pants, "Who sewed those?"
She sighs, "Me. Meg is making me read everyday and do math and learn to sew. She made me chop wood the other day."
I nod, "Good."
Mary gives me a look. I point at Andy, "He should be doing to same. We learn faster than regular kids."
Mary smiles, "I have been teaching him things." She is getting on my last nerve.
I take my cereal and glance back at Anna who looks worn, but I think it's the best I've seen her look, "Thanks."
She nods at me.
I sit on the circle of log seats they've made outside, and blow on my spoonful. I catch a look from Allan. He looks down at his cereal when he sees me notice.
Will sits next to me, "You still want it, don’t you? Your revenge," he says quietly.
I take the bite, "Yup. More than before."
"Should we go to the camp? Ask for help?" he asks.
I swallow and blow on the next bite, "They believe Marshall. They don’t like me."
His eyes twinkle as he speaks, again in a hushed tone, "Yeah, but they love your sister, Star."
I sigh. He grins. He is loving the idea that I have to ask her for help, and that I have misjudged her and Bernie. I think he loves it when I'm wrong.
I glance at Allan, "He comes with us."
He nods, "Yup."
I catch Anna's eye on me. She is trying to tell me something with her stare, but I don’t know what it is. I get up and carry my bowl over to her.
She whispers, "I'm coming with you."
I shake my head and whisper back, "You can't."
She laughs, "Why are you whispering?"
I shrug.
"I am coming with you."
I frown, "Why?"
Her eyes dart, "I want to see him die."
I scowl, "Who?"
She looks up at me and I see a fire in her eyes, like nothing I've seen before, "Marshall."
I don’t want to argue with her. She looks scary. I just agree, "Fine, but we can't leave till you're healthy."
She nods, "Me, you, Bernie, and Will." She glances back at the house, "Jake stays with the kids."
I look around, "Star has to come. We need her to convince the camp to help. And I'm not leaving Allan here."
She looks at him and nods, "He's creepy."
"Yeah."
I look down at the cereal, "You better eat up. If you don’t gain some strength back, you're not coming."
She raises her eyebrows defiantly, "We'll see."
Chapter Eighteen
She comes. As usual she is feisty and mean, even with only a whisper, and forces her way on it. Will doesn’t argue with her since she got sick. He hates listening to her whisper-yell. I snicker watching the display. He feels bad and gives in.
The group of us walking to the retreat is bigger than it needs be. Bernie comes because Anna and Star are coming. Jake comes for the same reason. Allan comes because I don’t want him alone with Mary and the kids. Leo stayed behind. Meg hugged him and squeezed him and begged him to stay. As much as I don’t like leaving him behind, I'm glad he's with Mary and the kids.
He looked pissed and I don’t imagine it will be long before I see his sloppy face again. He won't stay long at the cabin without me.
We get to the border where the guards are.
Will whistles and the guard whistles back.
"Hey, Will!" he shouts down.
Will waves, "Hey!"
I snarl. I'm still the savage they ran out of town, in my mind.
We get into the camp and immediately two things happen. Star gets hugs and I get scowls.
Jake nudges me, "You're like the evil stepsister."
I growl at him. He laughs and rubs my head.
One of the women comes to me smiling, "How are you, Em?"
I know she's one of the breeder moms. She is towing a little monster with her. He shrieks.
I smile weakly, "Good."
She looks over at Will, who is bossing everyone about, and blushes, "Has he settled with anyone? I heard he was single still and I knew you guys were friends."
I feel a blush creeping up my face. She is so beautiful and I would slap her normally just for saying it. But the screaming kid makes me shake my head and plant an evil smile on my face, "No. No and he loves kids."
Jake coughs.
She beams at us both, "Oh really? Do you think he remembers me?"
Jake nods, "He does. I'm sure he does."
Anna watches us with a horrified look on her face. The girl turns, "Thanks, Em."
I nod and fight the evil grin crossing my lips.
Anna pokes me. I give her a look, "Hey. He gets crabby sometimes. He deserves this."
She shakes her head and walks away. Jake laughs, "You do have a sense of humor."
I point at the girl walking up to Will, "You know he's going to think I'm gonna get all jealous too."
Jake stays close to me, as Will answers questions and greets pe
ople with Star.
"You know they really were made for each other," Jake says quietly.
Seeing the way she's soft and sweet and making everyone comfortable and he's gruff and firm but they respect him, makes me agree.
I look up into Jake's blue eyes and smile at the way they twinkle.
He smirks, "One day you'll see that me and you are the better fit."
I scowl, "You're with Star."
"No one is really with Star. It's like saying you're with Will. No one can own something that magnanimous."
I don’t know what that word means. I almost wonder if he knows what he's saying.
"They're bigger than one person. Look at her, she's smiling and flirting and being friendly. She is making that whole group of people happy. She's like the Mother-somebody from before. The nun who went around and healed the sick and fed them and shit."
I shrug, "I don’t know. I'm not Catholic."
He rolls his eyes, "Everyone knew who she was."
I start ignoring his talk and notice the faces of the people talking with Will. Their eyes dart at me. He crosses his arms. He's getting angry. His hands are in fists. Suddenly Star shows up and smiles and touches their hands and Will's. She shakes her head and they start seeing what she's saying.
"Do you think they're talking about me?" I ask nervously.
Jake nods, "Oh, hell yes." He watches too. Allan is gone. I cuss under my breath and look around for him.
Bernie is gone too.
I sigh and see Anna next to Will and Star. She has the same outgoing personality as Star, but the sense of Will.
I look at Jake, "We gotta find Bernie and Allan."
He points, "Bernie is over there. He's talking to a guy on the other side of Will. Looks like he's in on the cause."
He scans the tents and trees and points after a minute, "Allan is over there. He's chatting up a lady with a baby."
I stand on my tiptoes and watch him talking to her. She looks mid twenties.
Jake makes a face, "Ewww, he's trying to pick up. She has a baby. What the hell?"
I laugh and point to the path, "Wanna go swimming?"
He nods and we walk away. We get to the bottom of the path and the flat rock, and my stomach hurts like I'm doing something wrong. The guilty feeling is back. I look over at Jake taking his shirt off and shake off the feeling.
"Turn around." He does and I pull my pants, shirt and boots off and jump in, in my underwear. The water feels amazing.