by Nina Levine
“I thought—” He shook his head, annoyed.
“Stop fucking analysing shit.” He came to me and cupped my cheek, grazing my lips with his thumb. “I told you where I stand. What I want. Take that in, babe, and know it. Feel it. But you’ve gotta fucking stop over thinking everything ‘cause there’s gonna be times where I might not make sense and things might get messy. I need you to have faith in me, in us. Yeah?”
Shit. I was a neurotic bitch. Note to self: calm that shit down. “Yeah. But it might take me some time to get there so I need you to work with that. Okay?”
He nodded. “Done,” he replied, and then smacked me on the ass. “Now, we’ve got to get to the clubhouse. Marcus is pissed at me, something about wanting to make sure you’re okay, and then we’ve got some club business to deal with.”
I was about to come back with a smartass reply regarding my father, but then I remembered the conversation with my mum today. I had opened my heart to J. Perhaps it was time to give my father another chance.
Fifteen minutes later we walked into the clubhouse and J left me at the bar to search for Marcus. The bar was full of club members who appeared to be celebrating something, most likely Nix’s death. Yeah, that was something to fucking celebrate. I smiled at them to let them know I was okay and went to find Mum.
She was in the kitchen making food, for what I was guessing was a full blown party, judging by the amount of food she had in there. “Hey, honey.” She stopped what she was doing and searched my face. “You okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, and you?”
She waved her hand at me in a dismissive motion. “You know me, nothing fazes me.” Yep, that was true. My mother was unflappable—a tough bitch who could get through any situation.
“Do you need help with all this food?” I asked, changing the conversation. I hated discussing my feelings; better just to get on and deal with it yourself rather than whining to anyone who would listen.
“Thanks, honey,” she answered and, for the next hour, we worked together, getting all the boys and their families fed. News of Nix’s demise had spread fast, and loved ones had shown up to celebrate the end of the club’s battle with him. From what people told me, it had been a long, hard two years since I left. The club had put a lot of work into bringing him down and everyone was glad to see the end of this episode.
Just as Mum and I were finishing up in the kitchen, J wandered in. He hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me to him. “Your dad wants to see you, baby,” he said and the tenderness in his voice made my stomach flutter. J didn’t often do tender so it meant something to me; perhaps it indicated a change in the way he was approaching our new relationship.
I smiled up at him. “Where is he?” I asked, and he told me where to find him. “I won’t be long,” I promised, and gave him a quick kiss as I left the kitchen.
I found my father outside talking to some of the boys. He glanced up when he saw me coming, his jaw set, no smile in place, but I saw the relief that flickered across his face in that moment and noted his shoulders settle out of their tense hold.
“Madison,” he addressed me, and waved the boys away so we could have some privacy.
He exuded an agitated vibe and I didn’t want a confrontation so I silently waited for him to continue, not wanting to say something that might set him off. When dealing with Marcus Cole, it was best to let him do most of the talking.
“You’re okay.” He nodded, reassuring himself.
“Yes, Dad, I’m okay,” I confirmed.
Another moment passed between us, with him deliberating over something and then he let out a huge breath, curved his palm around my neck and pulled me to him in a hug. “Thank fuck,” he uttered softly.
Shit, first J going all sensitive on me and Dad too. And then, out of nowhere, everything slammed into me at once. Relief, gratitude, joy, anger; I felt it all and then some. It unfurled within me, and I was overwhelmed to the point of tears. I started crying and Dad’s hand lightly brushed over my hair, soothing me, making me sob even harder.
We stayed like that for what felt like a long time: him calming me with soft reassurances and me clinging to him in a way I never had. I had needed him to be this father many times in my life and he had never come through for me, but that time, I felt a shift and it affected me. Letting my guard down a little was liberating.
Eventually, my tears dried up and I let go. “Thank you,” I said quietly, looking up into his eyes to see a mixture of concern and love.
He nodded and brushed his thumbs across my cheeks, wiping away my tears. “Madison, I know you and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, and I fuckin’ know I can be an asshole sometimes, but I’m workin’ on it. I’m sorry you and your mother were put in that situation today; that you had to witness what you did. And I’m fuckin’ worried about you, worried that this will send you back to that hell you were in after that motherfucker beat the shit out of you.”
Well, fuck me, Marcus Cole was going all emotional on me. It was time to put his mind at ease. “You don’t need to worry about me, Dad. Yeah, that was a fucked-up situation, and seeing Nix killed was not on my bucket list, but you know what? I’m happy it’s done because it means you guys can get back to concentrating on club business and we can all breathe easier now. And as far as me losing the plot? It’s not going to happen. I’m stronger now and I have all of you to back me up. This time around, my eyes are wide open and I’m seeing everything in a different light,” I assured him, and then, needing to lighten the mood, I winked at him and said, “I’m not good at asking for help, but I’m working on it, just like you’re working on not being such an asshole.”
He threw his head back and laughed, and it was so good to see my Dad loosen up a little. “Okay, sweetheart, it’s a deal,” he agreed. “Now, let’s get back inside to the party. We’ve got some celebrating to do.”
The party lasted into the early hours and I was exhausted by two a.m. It had been a great night though, catching up with everyone after being away for the past couple of years and watching the boys shed the tension they had obviously been feeling. Even Scott let loose a little and I watched with interest as he flirted with a woman I didn’t know. This was out of character for him; to my knowledge, Scott didn’t usually put the hard yards in with the ladies; he just scored whenever he felt the need.
As I watched him, he caught my eye and smiled. It was a dazzling smile, one that Scott didn’t often bring out. He was far too serious, and shouldered too much responsibility as far as I was concerned. I smiled back and then went looking for J.
“There you are,” he said as I walked into the pool room. The club had three pool tables and J could often be found in there.
I was taken aback by the woman who was next to J, leaning over the table getting ready to take her shot, tits falling everywhere and ass barely covered by her animal print mini skirt. J had obviously been about to help her take her shot and their closeness sent a rush of jealousy through me. My fists clenched, and my face flushed with a burning heat. It stopped me dead in my tracks and all clear headed thought escaped me. A primal need to stake out my territory took over, damn the consequences.
“What the fuck?” I snapped at J.
Irritation spread across J’s face and he stepped away from the skank and came towards me. “You’re kidding, right?” he demanded, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me to the side.
I yanked my arm out of his grip. “No, I’m not fucking kidding!” I yelled at him, but my eyes were focused solely on the chick who was now looking me up and down as if I was the shit on the bottom of her shoes. “Who is she, J?”
His lips pinched together and I could tell he was fighting to remain calm. “She’s no one, and you need to settle the fuck down,” he warned me.
My head jerked back to look at him. “And you need to stop telling me what to do.”
We glared at each other, neither saying a thing, but my mind was racing. How dare he tell me to settle down! I threw my hands in
the air and madly declared, “I’m out of here. I need some space.”
I turned and stalked out of the room, giving the skank a filthy glare on my way. Fucking club whores; they were all the same and I couldn’t believe that J would let one drape herself all over him on the day we got back together.
Having no idea where I was going, I just kept walking and eventually found myself in J’s room upstairs. I was mentally and physically exhausted from the day, but I needed a shower so I undressed and submersed myself under the steaming, hot water, letting it wash away the heaviness I was feeling.
Having not been in a relationship for the last two years, I had enjoyed the peace of not having to work my way through shit like that. My relationship with J had always been a little volatile; it was the only aspect of it that I wished was different. Something had to give, to change if we were going to make it work this time. I just didn’t know if either of us was capable of that.
As I was contemplating all this, J’s ragged breathing engulfed the room and I turned to see him standing outside the shower. His wild eyes were on me, raking over my body with an intense passion that shot heat straight to my core and sent whatever thoughts I was having straight out of my mind. All I could think about was having J, having his cock in me again. He lifted his shirt over his head and discarded it, and then did the same to his shoes and jeans. I watched every movement intently, my hand snaking down to my clit to massage it while his body was revealed to me. Once he was naked, he opened the shower door and stepped in next to me, his body filling the small space. I continued touching myself and reached my other hand down to take hold of his cock and started stroking. J was hard and ready, and he emitted a groan with my movement.
Slipping his hands around me he ran them over my ass and pulled me closer to him, dipping his head to catch my mouth in a hard, forceful kiss. I kept massaging myself, circling and dipping my finger in my wet folds with one hand, while my other one ran up and down his cock. Our kiss became desperate, our breathing more erratic until J broke away to move his lips down my body, sucking, kissing, licking me on my neck and breasts. His hands were on my ass, my stomach, my tits and finally they were where I wanted them, where I needed them; he took over my pussy and began finger fucking me.
Fuck! It was almost more than I could take. The sensations shooting through my body were electric; J was fucking electric, and although I was overwhelmed by him, I also couldn’t get enough. I started to climb up his body, the need to have him inside me taking over, desperate for his cock. He withdrew his fingers from my pussy and moved his hands to my ass, helping lift me up and then moved me so that I was leaning up against the shower wall. I wrapped my legs and arms around him, my hands gripping the back of his neck. Needing his mouth on mine, I took it, plunging my tongue in. I moaned with pleasure. He felt so fucking good. I would never get enough of him.
“Baby, I’m gonna fuck you now but I don’t have a condom,” he grunted between kisses.
“I’m clean,” I managed to get out, not wanting him to stop; not ever stop.
“Good, me too,” he uttered before thrusting in me hard and fast, to the hilt.
“Fuck!” I cried out. “Don’t fucking stop, J. Fuck me hard,” I demanded.
He didn’t need further coaxing. He rammed into me repeatedly, our faces mashed side by side, our breathing hard and heavy while we each took what we needed. The rhythmic slapping of our bodies and our grunts were the only noises in the room and it turned me on even more. J began to move even faster with his thrusts and I felt it build; the divine pleasure intensifying until my pussy tightened and clenched and the release hit me, exploding throughout me, and I screamed with satisfaction.
“Fuck, baby,” he grunted, and then he thrust hard one last time, and straightened and stilled as his release pumped into me. His head fell forward and he stayed like that for a moment, spent.
We eventually pulled apart and he let me down to stand next to him.
J smoothed my hair so it hooked behind my ear and then he kissed me, a slow and lazy kiss and I could feel the smile forming on his lips. “So fucking good, baby,” he murmured as he ended the kiss.
I laid my palm across his cheek. “I’m sorry I overreacted,” I apologised, my head so much clearer.
His face lit up in a wicked grin. “Yeah, me too, but only a little bit because it meant I got to fuck you like that.”
“You can fuck me like that anytime you want. In fact, if you don’t, I might just unleash my inner bitch on you so that you do,” I promised.
He grinned at me for a moment longer and then said, “Okay, time to get you clean and then to sleep.”
Fifteen minutes later we were in bed, me on my side and J behind me with his arms and legs wrapped around and over me. He murmured in my ear, “Goodnight, beautiful. I love you.”
Yep, this and J were home. “I love you, too,” I replied and drifted off to sleep.
15
Jason
Wednesday rolled around and it was back to club business. With Nix out of the picture, we could focus solely on our business interests and I sensed a distinct change in attitude in the clubhouse that morning. Marcus had called a meeting for ten a.m. and he outlined where we were at with key dealings. Storm had numerous business interests – restaurants, retail outlets, clubs – all legit, because we liked to keep our nose clean these days. We moved ourselves out of drugs years earlier and it had taken a lot of heat off the club. Currently, we had some distribution problems that needed resolving and he asked Scott and me to deal with that while he handed other jobs off to everyone else. The meeting was finished by ten thirty, and I was about to head out with Scott when Marcus stopped me.
“I had a talk with Madison last night. Seems she thinks she’s gonna be okay. I’m not convinced and need to know where you think her head is at,” he said.
“She told you we’re back together?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, but any fool could work that out, J. And to be honest, I think that’s a good fuckin’ thing. She needs someone like you to pull her into line and I’m hopin’ like hell that you can help her keep her shit together. All this stuff with Nix and Bec must be doin’ her head in, but she’s fuckin’ stubborn and won’t talk about it.” He was frustrated and with good reason; Madison could be a pain in the ass when it came to leaning on others for support.
“I think she’s stronger than you give her credit for. Your daughter’s a fighter, Marcus, and yeah, she doesn’t like to talk about shit, but she’s obviously learnt other ways of dealing with it. I’m keeping an eye on her and will let you know if anything comes up,” I replied.
Marcus’s steady gaze lingered on me for another moment, taking in everything I had said and then he nodded, “Okay. Good. I’ll leave that with you.” He seemed reassured and I left him to find Scott so we could go and sort out this distribution issue.
“So, you and Madison, huh?” Scott looked over at me as we drove back to the clubhouse. We had been out all day dealing with problems and I was more than ready to call it a day. Madison called around lunch time to tell me she was going out job hunting and to organise to meet me at the clubhouse by five o’clock. It was nearly five now and I was distracted thinking about her. “Brother, did you hear me?” Scott pulled me from my thoughts.
“Yeah, we’re together,” I confirmed.
“Good, it’s about fuckin’ time.”
I chuckled. “Seems you and Marcus can agree on that. It’s a work in progress but mark it, I’m gonna marry her one day.”
Scott snapped his head in my direction, a stunned look on his face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Haven’t told her yet though,” I answered.
Scott laughed. “Uh, I hate to break it to you, but you don’t generally tell a woman you’re gonna marry her, J. And I really hate to fuckin’ break this bit of news to you, but nobody tells Madison to do anything.”
“Mark my words, brother. I might ask her, I might tell her, but either way, it’s happe
ning.”
“You two are made for each other, both as stubborn as fuck.” He shook his head.
As we pulled into the parking lot of the clubhouse, Madison was walking towards the front door and I took in her sexy dress and heels. Her long hair was up in a ponytail, which excited my dick. Christ, I couldn’t wait to get her upstairs. She turned and waved at me before going inside.
Scott looked at me, shaking his head. “Keep your dick in your pants.”
“You wait till you find someone, Scott, and then you’ll understand.”
“Not fuckin’ likely,” he muttered.
I found her sitting at the bar with Stoney. I liked Stoney, but I didn’t like the way he was looking at Madison. “Eyes off her tits, Stoney,” I snapped.
Madison’s eyes widened and I waited for her response but she surprised the fuck out of me with her silence.
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, moving off his stool to stand. “I’m outta here.”
“His eyes weren’t on my tits, J,” she said as we watched him leave.
“Yeah, baby, they were.”
She rolled her eyes. “You weren’t even standing in front of him to be able to know that.”
I moved into her space, pushed my body up against her side and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. We were now the only ones in the bar. Leaning my face down, I spoke into her ear, “I know they were because you’re wearing a low cut, tight dress that your tits are almost spilling out of, and it’s exactly where my eyes would have been if I was Stoney.”
Madison’s lips parted and her tongue darted out to touch them. My eyes took in the rapid rising and falling of her chest; I knew that she was wet and I pushed my erection harder into her side before stepping away slightly. She stood swiftly and turned to press her body into mine, reaching her hand down to rub my dick. I groaned and put my arms around her, gripping her ponytail and pulling her head backwards. Dipping my head, I licked up her throat and then took her mouth in a hard kiss. She was like a wild fucking animal, kissing and tonguing me, all the while rubbing up and down my dick with one hand, the other on my ass.