by Krane, Kasey
Killian stood over her and nodded. I wished he would have had the instinct to throw his arms around his sister and give her the hug she needed. But he didn’t.
Maybe he couldn’t.
Maybe he was not the kind of person who had it in him.
Isabelle sighed and stood up.
“I guess I should give the two of you some time alone. I’ve taken up too much of it already.”
I wanted to tell Isabelle I would always be here to listen and support her, and that she could drop in any time. But I didn’t. I stopped myself from saying it just in time.
I didn’t know how long I would actually be here, and I definitely needed to remember this was not my home.
Killian and I walked her to the door and once she left, I turned to him with my heart beating out of my chest.
“I heard what you said on the phone. You’re planning on handing me over to some people, aren’t you? You’re done with me.”
* * *
Killian popped open a can of beer and sat down on his couch. He hadn’t said much since I accused him at the door.
“You don’t have anything to say to me?” I asked. My voice shuddered. I felt weak.
The only thing racing through my mind was what would happen to me next? Was Connor dead?
What would Killian’s family do when they found out I shot him. Would they send me back to Aldo? What would he do to me?
There were going to be consequences to my actions. I had already defied my stepfather in every way. He wasn’t going to forgive me for fucking up the deal he made with the Dohertys.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Killian said abruptly.
A big sigh of relief left my lungs. I didn’t know what he meant by that. How could he say that? How could he give me false hope when he was planning on turning me in?
“But…”
“I don’t know what you heard me say, Reese, but I have a plan.”
I shook my head.
“I heard you say you knew where I was. What can that mean?”
“You’ll just have to trust me,” he replied, glaring at me.
“I’m sure you can understand why I’m having a hard time trusting you right now.”
He swung the can up, taking a large gulp of the beer. Then he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“From the moment we’ve met, I have done everything I could to help you. So no, I don’t understand why you can’t trust me with this.”
I was speechless, because in a lot of ways, he was right.
He rescued me. He kept me safe here. Even though I fought him and tried to escape multiple times, he hadn’t hurt me. He hadn’t punished me. Instead, he made me feel special. He made me feel beautiful. He didn’t laugh in my face when I told him I wanted to be a nurse.
“Reese, sit down,” he growled.
I did as I was told, taking the armchair across from him.
He ran a hand through his hair.
“I’m going to keep helping you. I have a plan. Connor is still alive. He’s in a coma, but he’s still alive. So we will have to work around that.”
My mind was spinning.
Connor was alive. The man I thought I had shot and killed wasn’t actually dead.
“But what about…” I tried to get the words out, but I couldn’t.
My cheeks flushed. My body burned hot. I needed to know what was going to happen to us.
When he said he was going to keep me safe—did he mean we actually had a future? That he believed we could be together?
“What about you and me?” he asked. I couldn’t even nod my head. Killian took another gulp of his beer.
“You and me will go our separate ways, because this is just a fucking illusion,” he replied.
* * *
I had tears in my eyes.
I stood up and turned away from him. Although, I knew he was watching me.
“There is nothing you could have done differently, Reese. I don’t want you to even entertain the thought that we can make a stab at something real.”
I felt choked up with tears. I knew I had feelings for him. I knew it was fucked up. He imprisoned me. He kept me in a basement, but the electrical charge between us was real.
I felt it. I knew he felt it too.
At night, I clung to him like he was the only one who could save me. That wasn’t far from the truth.
In all my life, he was the only one who had saved me.
“I’m not naive enough to assume that we could…make a stab at something real.” My voice came out hollow and awkward.
“Good, because I don’t want you to think I have anything to give you. I have nothing.”
I nodded. Still with my back turned to him.
“Yes, I know.”
He was broken just like me.
And how were two broken people supposed to make it together? We had no chance. I should have known this from the start. I should have figured it out when he told me what happened to his mother.
I could see Killian clearly now.
He had no room for love. I was desperately trying to cling to him. Trying to cling to something there was no hope for.
“But I want to make sure you’re safe. I want you to have what you want,” he continued.
I spun around to face him. I didn’t care if he saw how red my eyes looked. That there were still tears rolling down my cheeks.
“I saw what you were like with Isabelle. How you handled her physical injuries and dealt with her emotional ones. You can do real good. I want you to pursue it. Make some difference in the world.”
My heart ached with love and joy. Even though I knew we could never be together.
In order for me to fulfill my dreams, I would have to go away. Be as far away from him and this world we lived in.
“I trust you,” I said and he nodded.
“Good, because you have no other choice,” he said. The hardness returned to his voice. The moment was gone. I’d seen a glimmer of his other self but he quickly hid it again.
He wasn’t going to allow himself to be vulnerable for very long. Not even to me.
“I should go and clean up in the kitchen,” I said, walking away quickly.
I just hoped he wouldn’t put me back in the basement again.
Twenty-Three
Killian
I didn’t tell her any of the things I actually wanted to say.
What she overheard—she got all wrong.
How could she ever think I would turn her in? I knew, better than anybody, there would be consequences and major punishment if she went back now.
Either to Aldo or to Connor.
I knew I had to keep her safe. We had already come so far together. I wasn’t about to let her go back to the life she had run away from. She deserved better than that and I was willing to protect her with my life if I had to.
I just hoped she meant it when she said she trusted me.
I could hear her cleaning up in the kitchen while I sat in the living room, finishing my beer.
I tried to formulate the words.
I lied when I told her I couldn’t have a future with her.
Anything was fucking possible, right?
I could make it happen. We could run away together. Hide out for the rest of our lives if we had to.
What I felt for her was all new to me. I didn’t know what to do about what I was feeling.
The only other person I had ever felt true love for in my life—was my mother. I hadn’t been able to protect her. I couldn’t keep her safe.
So maybe I just had one choice. To either love someone, or keep them safe. I already knew what I wanted to do for Reese. I had to keep her alive. Even if that meant making sure she was never going to come close to me again.
I knew she was hurting.
As much as she tried to be strong and hide what she was actually feeling, I knew I hurt her by what I said.
I hated how I felt.
How I felt about her. How
out of control I was. How weak she made me. How I didn’t want her to hurt. How I hated myself for hurting her.
I wasn’t supposed to feel any of those things.
She was supposed to be nothing more than a bit of fun. Something I pitied, because Connor was an asshole.
Instead, this whole thing had snowballed and I could feel it slowly starting to take over my life.
I needed to be back in control.
“Ah!” I heard her squeal.
Within seconds, I ran into the kitchen to find her shaking her hand vigorously.
“I touched the boiling kettle like an idiot!” she remarked.
I rushed over to her and tugged at her hand to examine if she’d actually hurt herself.
The tip of her forefinger looked a little red, but other than that, she was fine.
I couldn’t let her hand go. I needed to keep touching her.
Reese looked up at me with her big hazel eyes and I knew what she was thinking.
She pulled her hand away with force.
“It’s fine, I can take care of myself,” she said.
* * *
“Is there something you want to say to me?” I asked her.
Reese breathed in deeply, looking away.
There were tears in her eyes again. Fuck. I didn’t want to see her cry. I knew I’d end up promising her the whole world if she started crying right now.
“It actually feels like maybe there are things you want to say to me,” she replied.
Reese looked into my eyes like she was peering into my soul. It made me uncomfortable because I felt like she could see right through me. Maybe she knew what I thought. How I felt.
I wasn’t going to say it. She wasn’t going to hear it from me.
This, along with so many other reasons, was why we needed to stay away from each other.
I couldn’t give her what she wanted.
After a few moments of complete silence, she turned from me and walked out of the kitchen. I followed her.
“Isn’t it enough that I’m going to keep you safe?” I barked.
She stopped in the hallway, spinning to me again.
“No, Killian. It isn’t enough because I know you’re lying to yourself. You’re lying to me.”
I stepped towards her, glaring at her. I watched as she gulped a lump down her throat.
“And what exactly do you think I’m lying to you about?” I growled.
She didn’t look away. She was brave now. She knew I wanted her.
“About everything. You’re telling yourself you don’t care about me.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
I dared her to say the actual words. I knew she wouldn’t be able to say them.
“It means that you’re willing to give me up just because you won’t allow yourself to be weak. Not even for me.”
“I’m not giving you up. I’m going to keep you safe.”
“But we can’t be together.”
I closed the gap between us.
“I can take you whenever I want. So I get what I want, when I want it. What makes you think I would prefer it any other way?”
Our faces were so close my hot breath fluttered her wispy strands of hair. She was still peering at me, trying to decipher me.
“You’re right. You get what you want.”
“And you get to have a life,” I added.
Reese’s nostrils flared. She had no idea how fuckin’ sexy she looked when she had her mouth open like that.
“And I think I need to remind you who is boss here,” I growled.
She said nothing when I grabbed her by her hips and pulled her to me. In fact, she gave in quickly when I covered her mouth with mine, pushing my tongue down her throat so I could possess her.
I shoved my hand down the front of her jeans till I felt the hot throb of her clit. She was wet for me already. I knew she would be.
This was what she wanted, right?
For a man to keep her in control.
* * *
I wasn’t expecting her to do it, so I didn’t see it coming. Reese pulled my hand out of her jeans and with her hands on my chest, she shoved me back.
I hit against the wall, clenching my jaws in anger. She glared at me, with her eyes blazing brilliantly.
“You think you can just fuck me and I’ll forget what you’re trying to here?” she hissed, taking a step towards me.
My cock throbbed. Hard. I needed to be inside her.
“All right. What do you think I’m trying to do?”
“Abandon me. You’re done with me, right? You got what you wanted from me and now you’re bored.”
She got it all wrong.
How could I ever be bored of a girl like her? She had no idea what it did to me when I woke up to find her sleeping next to me in bed. If I could make things any different, I would.
Reese brought her face closer to me.
“You’re just going to use me and throw me away. Like everyone else has.”
I grabbed her arms and pushed her backwards. She was pinned to the wall now as I towered over her.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, so shut the fuck up.” I kissed her cheek, she tipped her head back, offering her neck to me. My tongue ran down her smooth buttery skin. She tasted so sweet it was ridiculous.
I grinded into her, wanting her to feel how big my cock was. Reese’s eyelids fluttered as my mouth traveled down to her cleavage. She weaved her fingers in my hair.
“I know exactly what I’m saying. I am nothing but your prisoner. You said it yourself, you can do what you want with me.” She whispered the words, but loud enough so I could hear perfectly well. I cupped her ass, lifting her up gently while I buried my face between her big tits.
A low moan escaped her. As much as she hated me right then, she couldn’t resist me either. That was how fucked up it was between us.
I couldn’t resist her either, despite knowing I should have kept my hands to myself.
She gasped all of a sudden, trying to pull away from me.
“Let me go. This is over, right? Let me go!” she demanded.
There was a short struggle as she tried to get away but I wrapped her in my arms and she stopped moving. My hands traveled all over her back, her ass. I kissed her shoulder tenderly, then her hands.
Reese wasn’t making a sound. I thought she was on the verge of crying again, but she didn’t.
I grabbed a bunch of her hair in my fist, tipping her head back so I could look at her face.
“You can’t tell me what to do,” I growled, pulling her jeans open, pushing them down her legs.
She looked excited and charged up. This was how she wanted it from the start.
I was going to make her come at my command.
Twenty-Four
Reese
Killian went down on me.
He tried to dominate me.
Maybe he wanted me to recognize that no matter what decision he made, he would always be in control of me. I wasn’t allowed to be mad at him.
He pulled down my panties, keeping me pinned to the wall with one hand while he went down on his knees between my legs.
When his mouth met my pussy, I gasped, losing all control.
There was no foreplay here. He wanted me to come and I was going to come hard.
He thrust two fingers into me while his mouth took possession of my clit. He knew exactly how to make me come and he would use every skill he knew to make that happen.
I was weak because he made me feel like I was soaring.
I didn’t want to feel like this now. I wanted to continue the conversation. I wanted facts. I needed to know what his plan was. What was my future going to look like?
More importantly, did he really not want to be a part of my future? Would we never see each other again?
But I couldn’t focus.
His fingers moved fast inside me and I thought I’d end up losing consciousness from how good it felt.
&n
bsp; His mouth moved fast and expertly on my clit. His fingers slammed into me until I could feel my juices dribbling down the side of my leg.
It was happening.
I was coming.
I let out a roaring cry of pleasure as the orgasm took complete control of my body. His mouth remained on my clit, stroking, tasting, overpowering while I came on his lips.
I had my arms spread eagled, pinned to the wall while my body shuddered and shook in response to what he did to me.
Slowly, my orgasm started to fade and my willpower returned.
I needed to show him he wasn’t the only one in control. He could try and dominate me as much as he liked, but he didn’t know who he was up against.
I wouldn’t just roll over and beg at his every command.
Killian looked up at me with a devilish smile on his face, knowing he made me come when I tried so hard not to.
He had proven himself.
But it was time that I proved myself too.
When he stood up, I reached for his cock and grabbed it. He was so big. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist me.
“We’re not done here,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.
When his face darkened at first, I thought he was going to slap me for being too bold. But he smiled even wider.
“Is that so?” he said, with a twinkle in his eye.
* * *
Just like he had done to me, I pulled his pants down, revealing his thick throbbing cock. It swung heavily between his muscular thighs and I literally salivated.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Why was I still attracted to this man? He had clearly just rejected me.
He made it clear we had no future together.
He had no feelings for me.
And yet, I was still a slave to his body. To his touch.
One look from him and I was in a puddle of my own shameful desire.
“What are you going to do now?” Killian asked. He mocked me, like he was sure I wouldn’t know how to handle him.