“I...” Rick struggled to finish his sentence, while everyone else looked on in the tense silence. I almost felt sorry for him.
“There’s really no need to get worked up,” I said, when his mouth just kept opening and closing. I turned back to Abby with a scowl, silently demanding an explanation for why she would pit one Alpha against another. “I didn’t hire her.”
“The hell you didn’t!” But the indignation in her voice didn’t match the desperation in her eyes, which practically begged me to just go along with...whatever she was up to.
She should have known better.
Karen quietly closed the office door. Our council meeting had just gone into extra innings, and nobody wanted to miss a single pitch.
“First of all, don’t ever curse at your Alpha,” I growled, only slightly mollified when Abby lowered her gaze and took a small step back, accepting my rebuke with none of the resistance or hesitation she’d shown in the past, when we weren’t in a room full of Alphas. Normally, I wouldn’t have cared about her language; that particular courtesy was antiquated, in my opinion. But by shouting at me, she had challenged my leadership, and letting anyone get away with that would erode my authority. “Second, you do not work for me.”
“I apologize.” Abby still stared at the ground, yet her voice was neither soft nor weak. “But if you’ll recall, after I freed my roommate from those ass—” She stopped abruptly for a rephrase, and one corner of Faythe’s mouth twitched. “After I took out those hunters over fall break, you said there’d be a job waiting for me if I wanted it.”
My eyes fell closed. Son of a bitch! I’d forgotten all about that because I hadn’t intended it as a real job offer. When she’d gone back to school without even mentioning it, I’d assumed she’d taken the offer as the simple compliment I’d intended. As evidence that her Alpha had noticed and appreciated her abilities.
I scrubbed both hands over my face, stalling for time to think. “I meant for that offer to apply after you graduate.” I hadn’t thought she’d take it seriously, because she was supposed to marry Brian right after graduation.
“But you never said that.”
Irritation narrowed my gaze at her. “You never accepted the offer.”
Her brows rose. “I’m accepting it now.”
Damn it. I’d walked right into that one, and I couldn’t get out of it without going back on my word.
A good Alpha never goes back on his word, and Abby knew that.
She’d just thrown me under the bus in front of half the territorial council.
FOUR
Abby
My heart thumped so hard, I felt the jolt of each beat in my bones. Jace looked like he wanted to kill me, and I couldn’t blame him; I’d just made the council’s junior-most Alpha look like a fool in front of his peers.
That hadn’t been my intent, but if desperate times truly justified desperate measures, my conscience was in the clear.
At least, that’s what I tried to tell myself.
For one long moment, nobody spoke or moved. Ed Taylor—who’d paid for the ring his son gave me—looked like I’d just ripped his heart out and handed it to him, still dripping blood. As guilty as I felt, I made myself look away from him so I could keep my eye on the goal.
Thoughts rolled across Jace’s face like cards in a slot machine and I could hardly breathe, waiting to see where they’d settle. I knew the moment he realized I had him trapped, and his visible anger leached the warmth from my body.
Jace was pissed. He would make me pay for forcing his hand, just like he would if I were one of the toms. I was about to find out just how committed to feminism my Alpha really was.
“Fine. We’ll swear you in tomorrow.” His eyes narrowed and he crossed both bulging arms over a sculpted chest that strained against the material of his shirt. “But this is a full-time commitment, and you will give it everything you have.” He marched toward the office door, and a path opened in front of him as everyone moved out of the way. “I’ll expect your school withdrawal forms on my desk first thing Monday morning.” Jace stepped into the hall and slammed the office door at his back.
I jumped, startled, and only once all the stares had settled on me did Jace’s declaration sink in.
Withdrawal? I’d have to quit school, one semester shy of graduation?
Whether or not I had to quit, he had the authority to make me quit—especially if he thought that would change my mind. But it wouldn’t. It couldn’t, no matter how badly I wanted to graduate.
This was more important. Even if I couldn’t explain that to anyone else.
“Jace, wait!” I threw open the office door and ran after him, heedless of the stares and whispers, but the back door was already closing behind him. I followed him onto the lawn stretching between the main house and the guesthouse out back, where he’d lived as an enforcer. “Please, just...wait.”
Jace stopped but didn’t turn around, so I had to circle him to see his face. His eyes sparkled like ice in the moonlight, and they looked at me as if he no longer had any idea who I was.
“I’m so sorry.” An hour before, his arms had held me as if I meant something to him, and now they were crossed over his chest, defining a tangible barrier between us. “I didn’t mean for... That’s not how the whole thing played out in my head,” I said, already mentally cursing myself for the lame finish.
“What, you thought we’d celebrate you strong-arming your way onto my staff by throwing confetti and popping corks?”
“No, I...” I shrugged miserably. “I didn’t think I’d have to strong-arm anything. I mean, you said you’d have a job waiting for me, if I wanted it.” But we both knew that he hadn’t actually meant that offer any more than I’d meant to take it.
I’d accepted out of the sudden terrifying realization that there was no other way for me to stay in the Appalachian Territory.
“I’m sorry for springing it on you, Jace.” My real mistake wasn’t accepting the job—it was how I’d accepted the job. “But I really need this.” I’d had no other choice. Maybe someday he’d understand that.
“Be careful what you ask for, Abby,” he growled.
Or maybe not.
The betrayal shining in his eyes bruised me all the way to my soul. I’d destroyed whatever trust he’d had in me, and that electrifying warmth his gaze had taken on recently? I’d totally killed that.
Not that that part mattered. I was going to marry Brian, even if his wasn’t the face I saw when I closed my eyes or the voice that whispered my name in my dreams.
So then, why did the new chill in Jace’s eyes sting like an ice dagger shoved straight through my heart?
Faythe sank onto the living room couch next to me, holding two bowls of chili. She moved gracefully in spite of the change to her center of gravity, and under any other circumstances, I would have asked if I could feel the baby move. I’d felt little Greg when she was pregnant with him, and that had been like laying my hand over a miracle.
Or over that incubating gut-monster from Alien.
Faythe handed me one of the bowls. She’d ringed the inside edge with a row of corn chips and had topped the whole thing with a layer of shredded cheddar.
“Thanks.” I scooped up a bite of chili with one of the chips, then chewed slowly so I couldn’t answer the question she obviously wanted to ask. For a while, we ate in silence except for the crunching, and I listened to the buzz of various conversations from the rest of the house, where the other Alphas and enforcers had gathered in small groups to talk about…well, me.
Jace’s was the only voice I didn’t hear. He’d gone for a walk in the woods.
“So,” Faythe said when she’d eaten the last of her corn chips, “what was that all about?”
I pushed a bean around in my bowl with my spoon. “You’re the last person I expected to criticize my career choice.”
Her right brow rose, and I lowered my gaze in a gesture of apology. I’d managed to piss off three Alphas in the span
of an hour. I might have assumed that was some kind of record, if I hadn’t known Faythe when she was a teenager.
“I’m not criticizing. In fact, I think you’ll make a great enforcer.” She scooped up a bite of chili with her spoon. “But you had no intention of becoming one until half an hour ago, and we both know it.”
“Actually, I’ve been considering accepting Jace’s offer after I graduate.”
She studied me for a moment, looking past that partial-truth for the whole story. “When were you going to tell Brian? And your parents?”
I shrugged. “It didn’t feel fair to upset everyone before I’d made up my mind.”
“But it felt fair to spring it on everyone during a council meeting?”
“No, that just kind of happened.” I stared into my bowl. The chili smelled amazing, but my appetite had fled. All I could think about was the look of betrayal on Jace’s face.
“So, why the sudden rush to do it today instead of next June?”
I scraped cheese from the side of my bowl with my spoon while I considered my answer. The whole truth wasn’t an option, and my best chance for getting away with the necessary lie was to keep it close to the truth. Though that didn’t really assuage my guilt for being less than honest with her.
If there was anyone I wished I could confide in, other than Jace, it was Faythe.
“It’s this case,” I said while she chewed. “The murders. If I wait until this summer, that’ll all be over, and I’ll just wind up patrolling the territory on foot with Chase or Teo.”
“And that sounds boring to you?”
Not really. I looked forward to any excuse to prowl in cat form. There weren’t many chances for that at school. But it was too late to back out of the lie now, so I shrugged. “Yeah.”
Faythe looked disappointed. “Abby, is the excitement of a murder investigation really worth quitting school? I mean, even if things are dull in June, that won’t last long. It never does, unfortunately.”
“I know, but—”
“And even if you start tomorrow, you’ll only be in training. Jace isn’t going to give you much involvement in something this dangerous as a rookie. Especially since…” She shrugged, leaving me to my own conclusion.
“Since I forced his hand?” I desperately wished I’d realized what I needed to do in time to give him a private heads up, but truthfully, that was only one of the do-overs the universe continued to deny me.
Faythe nodded. “I’m not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed that you know exactly what you just did to him.”
“Yeah, me neither. As many lessons as I’ve learned the hard way, you’d think I’d be a little wiser.”
Faythe exhaled slowly. “What’s wrong, Abby?” She set her empty bowl on an end table and twisted on the couch to face me, folding one leg beneath the other. “What’s this really about?”
“Nothing.” But I was a bad liar, and everyone knew it. “I just want to help with the investigation.”
My father chuckled, and I looked up to find him standing in the doorway, cradling a fresh cup of coffee. He didn’t look irritated with me anymore, but that didn’t mean much. His poker face was second nature. “Honey, Jace doesn’t need your help.”
“I know. I’m helping myself. I want to learn.”
“About murder?” My dad glanced from me to Faythe, and I could practically hear his thoughts, even though they didn’t show in his expression. He was thinking that whatever had gone wrong with his niece—whatever had turned her into an insurrectionist, no matter how well-intended—was contagious. He’d probably round up all the uninfected tabbies in the morning to keep them safe from themselves.
“Not murder specifically. I want to learn about Pride structure and management.” Surely that was believable, considering my college major. “Dealing with the bad guys. Assisting my Alpha. Protecting the territory.”
My father sank onto the chair across from us. “But that’s enforcer business.”
“I’m an enforcer.”
“No,” Faythe said, in the gentle tone she usually saved for small children. “You’re a trainee.”
“Speaking of which...” Brian stepped into the living room from the hall, and a sudden jolt of nerves made my pulse race. I should have told him about my new job in person, instead of relying on the Lazy S grapevine. I owed him that much. “It’s time to get started.” Brian’s expression was blank and his voice sounded tense. “Jace asked me to take you on patrol.”
Of course he had. First, he’d told me to quit school, and now, he was pairing me with my fiancé. He was trying to show me all the things I’d have to give up to work for him, convinced that I hadn’t truly thought the whole thing through.
I understood the consequences of my decision, and while they were harsh, they didn’t matter. I’d done what had to be done, and really, wasn’t that kind of the pillar of an enforcer’s job?
I stood, and Faythe took my empty bowl.
Brian studied my face, but his was unreadable. “Change into something warmer and meet me out back.” Then he stomped off down the hall. A moment later, the back door slammed shut, and I flinched.
My father chuckled. “Lots of doors being slammed tonight.”
And each one felt like a potential life path being closed. I could only hope that somewhere, someone was opening a window.
“So, this is really what you want?” Brian held a bare branch out of the way for me, and even though I knew he was just being nice, probably out of habit, I almost wished he had let it smack me in the face. That was what I deserved, for blindsiding him with plans that would affect us both. But he was too nice a guy, which was what I’d liked about him from the beginning. Brian hadn’t changed.
I had.
“You’d truly rather be out here chasing bad guys and tearing up your clothes on thorns and branches than married to me?”
I ducked beneath a low-hanging limb and stepped over an exposed root. “It’s not an either-or situation. Faythe makes both work.”
“You’re not Faythe.”
“Ouch.” I’d reminded Jace of the same thing just hours before, but hearing it from Brian stung.
He took my arm as I stepped over a cluster of brambles. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No, you’re right.” I pulled my arm free gently. “I’m not Faythe, and you’re not Marc.” But their arrangement only worked because they split the parenting workload just like they split the Alpha workload, and that was just as doable for Brian and me if he was willing to be an active parent.
But a big part of me was glad he hadn’t suggested it.
“Brian.” I put one hand on his jacket sleeve, and he turned to face me. Even if he hadn’t been standing in a beam of moonlight, I would have recognized the hope shining in his eyes. “Listen. This is just like college—a learning experience. Self-improvement. You’ve always known I want to be very involved in the running of my Pride.” I’d chosen a political science major with a minor in psychology for a reason: so I could learn from humanity’s successes and mistakes. “I just didn’t realize I want a physically active role until tonight. But I don’t know that this is what I want for the rest of my life. I only know I want to try it.” I shrugged, relieved to see that he relaxed further with every word I spoke, which meant that I was digging myself out of a hole for once. “And Jace wants me to quit, so when I’ve had enough, it’s not like he’ll try to keep me.”
“So, this is for us?” Brian’s eyes brightened. “For when we take over your dad’s territory?”
I blinked, surprised by his conclusion, though in retrospect, I could see how he’d come to it. I’d meant that this was for me—at best, a partial truth—but Brian could only conceive of us. “Sure.”
“Should I sign up for some classes? Maybe a leadership seminar?”
I almost laughed out loud. “I’m sure Faythe and Marc are teaching you everything you need to know.”
Brian nodded. “And your father will take over from ther
e, after the wedding.”
The wedding. I’d been trying not to think about that for almost four years.
“We should really set a date.”
I shook my head, and too late, I realized I should have at least pretended to give that some thought. “There’s still plenty of time.”
His frown deepened, and he suddenly looked younger than twenty-six. “I thought you’d get more excited as you got closer to graduation, but you still don’t seem very interested in the wedding. Your mom and I are practically planning it ourselves.”
My brows rose. “You’re helping my mom plan the ceremony?”
“Someone has to.” He crossed his arms over his jacket. “But, Abby, I don’t know the difference between periwinkle and sky blue. You’d know that if you ever answered your phone.”
“I’m sorry.” I hadn’t been fair to him, and I had to fix that. Brian was exactly what I’d needed when I was eighteen, and it wasn’t his fault that I was no longer the girl I’d been when I’d agreed to marry him. That now I wanted more.
That when I closed my eyes, I saw a set of bright blue ones staring back at me.
I shook my head, trying to shake loose thoughts I had no business thinking. Brian would make a great father, and so what if he wasn’t stellar Alpha material? Times had changed. I could be the stellar Alpha.
“Okay.” I exhaled, mentally resigning myself to what I was about to say. “Send me whatever wedding stuff my mom gave you.” I held my index finger up to stop his smile before it got out of hand. “But consider yourself warned—I don’t know the difference between periwinkle and sky blue either.”
“Well, I’m sure either of them will look beautiful on you.” He frowned. “Oh, wait, the bride usually wears white, doesn’t she?”
Usually. The word echoed in my brain until I couldn’t hear anything else.
Brian looked horrified. “That didn’t come out right. I didn’t mean you can’t wear white. Of course you’ll wear white.”
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