by Lisa Jackson
Stepping on the gas as the light turned green, she shoved all thoughts of Mason from her mind. Her Mustang convertible surged forward toward the freeway entrance. She didn’t have the time or patience to reminisce about a love affair gone sour.
Her windshield wipers slapped rain off the glass as she maneuvered through the traffic. In the distance lightning flashed, and again she thought of that long-ago storm and how its fury had changed the course of her life forever.
She’d never seen Mason after that day.
“Don’t think about it,” she warned herself as she headed toward the hospital where her father had been a patient for nearly a week, ever since he’d returned to Seattle to sign papers on some property he’d sold. “It’s over. It’s been over for a long, long time.”
Within minutes she’d exited the freeway and was winding through the wet side streets surrounding the hospital. She nabbed a parking spot not too far from the main entrance of Seattle General and braced herself. Her father, irascible and determined, would demand to be released. And would probably insist upon returning to his ranch in Oregon, though he still owned property here. She, as strong willed as he, would insist that he abide by his doctor’s orders.
“Give me strength,” she muttered under her breath as she locked her car and sidestepped puddles as the wind tugged at the hem of her raincoat and rain pelted her hair.
Inside the hospital, she ignored the sense of doom that threatened to settle in her heart. Barely three months before, in this very facility, Margaret Cawthorne had lost her battle with cancer. Bliss had been at her side.
But it wouldn’t happen again! Not this time. Her father was too strong to let some little heart attack get him. She punched the elevator call button and shook the rain from her hair.
On the third floor, she headed straight for her father’s room and found him lying under a thin blanket, his face pensive, turned toward the window. His television was on, the volume low, tuned in to some golf tournament in progress. Flowers, cards, boxes of candy and balloons were crammed onto every inch of counter space.
John Cawthorne looked thinner and more frail than she’d ever seen him. Hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV, he was nothing like the man she’d grown up with, the tough-talking, badgering cowboy-turned-real-estate-mogul. At the sound of her footsteps, he glanced her way and a half grin teased the corners of a mouth surrounded by silver beard stubble.
“I wondered if you were gonna stop by,” he said, pressing a button on a panel of the bed in order to raise his head. The electric motor hummed and he winced a little as his stitches pulled.
“I wouldn’t miss a chance to see you cooped up, now, would I?” she teased.
His blue eyes twinkled. “I hate it.”
“I know.”
“I’m not kiddin’.”
“I know,” she repeated, walking to the windows and adjusting the blinds. “Don’t tell me—you want out of the prison and expect me to help you escape.”
He chuckled, then stopped abruptly, as if the pain was too much. “Look, I’m about to go stir-crazy around here, but the doc, he thinks I need to stay another couple of days.”
“I’m on his side. Don’t even argue with me about it.”
She leaned over and kissed his forehead. “So tell me—and I want the truth—how’re you feeling?”
“Like I was dragged through a knothole one way, then pushed back through the other.”
“I thought so. You’re better off here, Dad.”
“But I’ve got things I gotta do.”
“Oh, quit whining,” she said with a grin. “Whatever it is, believe me, it’ll keep.”
As quick as a cat pouncing, he grabbed hold of her hand and wouldn’t let go. “No, honey, this time, I’m afraid it won’t.”
“Oh, Dad—”
His lips compressed thoughtfully for a second. “There’s something I’ve got to tell you, Bliss. Something I should’ve told you about a long time ago.”
For the first time since entering the gleaming room, Bliss felt a premonition of despair. An unidentifiable urgency etched the contours of her father’s face and his gaze was steady and hard as it held hers. “Oh, God,” she whispered, suddenly weak in the knees. Tears, unbidden, formed in her eyes. “The doctor found something else—”
“No, no,” he was quick to assure her. “I’m gonna be all right, just gotta take care of myself.”
“Then what?” Her shoulders sagged in relief.
He hesitated, muttered an oath under his breath, then said, “I’m gonna get married again.”
“What?” She stiffened. Surely she hadn’t heard correctly. “Married? You’re joking.” He had to be.
“Never been more serious in my life.” His expression told her that he wasn’t pulling her leg.
She steadied herself on the rail of his bed, clutching hard enough that her knuckles showed white.
“Now, wait a minute—”
“I’ve waited too long as it is.”
She was missing something here. Something important. “But Mom—”
“Is gone.”
“Oh, Lord.” She swallowed back the urge to argue with him and told herself she’d better hear him out. Maybe he was hallucinating from the drugs, maybe he’d grown attached to one of the nurses attending him and had developed a silly, dependent crush on her, or maybe—could it be?—he had a lover. No way.
“Sit down.” He waved her into a chair.
Gratefully, she sank into a chair wedged between the bed and the window. “I think you’d better start at the beginning,” she suggested, though she knew she wasn’t going to like what she was about to hear. “Who—who is this…this woman?”
“Someone I love very much.” His smile was weak, but the set of his jaw was as hard as granite, and while the sportscaster on the television spoke in hushed tones as a golfer approached his tee shot, Bliss felt a welling desperation.
“I—I don’t understand.”
“I know. Trouble is, neither do I, and I’ve had a lot of time to think about it.” His lips, dry and chapped, curled in over his teeth in a second’s indecision, and with his free hand he tugged on the crisp white sheet covering his body.
“Is she someone you just met?”
“No.” The words seemed to ricochet off the stark hospital walls and echo dully in Bliss’s heart. “I’ve known Brynnie for years.”
“Brynnie?” The name was familiar, but Bliss couldn’t place it. “But Mom just passed away—”
“That’s the hard part.” His gaze found hers and she saw the secret lingering in the blue depths—the truth that he’d been in love with another woman for years.
Bliss’s heart twisted painfully. “No.” Though she had known her parents’ marriage had been far from perfect, Bliss had told herself they had loved each other in their own special—if unconventional—way. After all, they had celebrated their thirtieth wedding anniversary just this past year. There hadn’t been tension or arguments in the house; just a general sense of apathy and drifting apart as they’d aged. “Who is she?” Bliss asked, cringing inside and feeling suddenly cold as death. “Who is this Brynnie?”
A twinkle lighted her father’s faded blue eyes and his lips turned up in a semblance of a smile. Even the skin on his face, paler than his usual tan, seemed to grow a little rosy. Bliss thought she might be sick. He looked like a love-struck teenager. Shifting in the bed, he pulled on the IV again and winced when the tape tugged on the back of his hand. “Brynnie Perez… Well, her name’s changed a few times over the years. She’s been married more than once, but…” He stared at his daughter and reached forward, taking her hand in his again. The cool plastic tubing of his IV brushed her arm. He hesitated, as if unsure of his next words.
“What, Dad?”
His gaze slid away for a second and he squared his shoulders. “This isn’t easy for me to admit, Blissie, but I’ve loved Brynnie most of my life—well, since I met her twenty-six—no, twenty-seven years ago.”
“You what?” Bliss whispered, feeling as if a thunderbolt had shot through her. “Most of your life?” And all of mine!
“Adult life.”
“But—” All the underpinnings of Bliss’s life were suddenly shifting, causing her to lose her sense of balance, her security, her knowledge of who she was. “Wait a minute. I don’t believe—”
“It’s true, Bliss.”
“No—” Had John Cawthorne been living a lie for years? Bliss’s stomach tightened into a hard knot. It was one thing to think that this infatuation had been recent, but to admit to years—years—of loving someone other than his wife. This was too much to take. Way too much.
Her father’s bony fingers tightened over hers. “I’ve loved her forever. Still do.”
“But Mom…”
A sadness stole over his thin features—the same sadness she’d witnessed a dozen times before but had never understood. “Your mom and I, we cared about each other, but it was a different feeling…hard to explain. She was a good woman, that’s for sure. A real good woman.”
“Of course she was.” Bliss felt a jab of indignity for the proud woman who had borne her father’s name for most of her life. “Mom…Mom was the greatest.” Tears threatened her eyes and she had to swallow hard.
“No doubt about it.”
“But you loved someone else.” Despair flooded her insides and she stared at the fragrant white blooms of a gardenia someone had sent him. “Oh, Dad, how could you?”
“I just fell in love, honey. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have, but…well, there it is. Your mother, she knew about Brynnie, but we thought it would be best for you if we stuck it out together and gave you some kind of normal family—”
“Normal family? You call this normal? Living a lie?” The room seemed to spin for an instant and there was a loud rush in her ears, like the sound of the ocean pounding the shore.
“People do it all the time.”
“Do they?” She pulled her hand out from his grip. Repulsed and stunned, she shrank into a corner of the chair. She loved and hated him in one second, even though she herself knew about love gone wrong. Wasn’t that what had happened with Mason? Hadn’t he been involved with two women? Oh, Lord, she felt as if she might throw up. She stared at her father and tried to understand. “So why tell me now?”
“I said I was gonna get married. Soon.”
Her laugh was brittle and forced. “Don’t tell me you expect me to come to the wedding?” When he didn’t answer, she rolled her eyes and felt the hot moisture that had collected beneath her eyelids. “Oh, Dad…please don’t even ask. I…I can’t believe this is happening.”
He glanced away, ran his tongue around his teeth and seemed to weigh his next words carefully. “Listen, honey, there’s more.”
“More?” she whispered, feeling a sense of doom sneak through her insides. What “more” could there possibly be? She didn’t want to hazard a guess.
He sniffed, ran a hand under his nose and sighed. “It’s not just me and Brynnie.”
Bliss bit her lip.
He hesitated, searching for the right words. “There’s a girl—well, a woman now—”
“I—I don’t know if I want to hear this,” Bliss interrupted, rubbing her hands together to ease the intense cold that had permeated her bones.
“You have to, honey. Because, you see, you have a half sister.”
“Wh-what?” The white tiles of the hospital floor seemed to buckle beneath her chair.
“Well, more than one, actually.”
“More than one?” This was too absurd to be true. And yet she knew as she looked at him that he wasn’t lying. “Wait a minute, Dad. Something’s wrong, here. Very wrong.” She tried not to glare at her father, who was still recuperating, but, damn it, she could barely make sense of his words. “You’re trying to tell me that I have a sister—no, make that two?”
When he nodded, she said, “But how?” Her mind was spinning in furious, complicated and very ugly circles. Everything she’d believed in, all that she’d trusted in her life, had been a lie—a dirty, dark and shameful lie. “Why?” she asked, trying to sound rational when her entire world was turned upside down. “This…this Brynnie is their mother?”
“She’s Katie’s mother,” John said slowly and scratched the side of his cheek. “My other daughter—”
“Does she have a name, too?” Bliss couldn’t hide the sarcasm in her words.
“Tiffany. She’s older than you by a few years. The result of an affair I had before I met your mom.”
“Oh, Dad,” Bliss whispered, the tears she’d been fighting beginning to slide from the corners of her eyes. How could she have been so wrong about this man she’d loved all her life? The man who’d taught her how to ride bareback and lasso a wayward calf and swim in a river where the current was strong and swift? “You—you didn’t marry her?”
“I was ridin’ rodeo at the time. It wouldn’t have worked. Matter of fact, she wasn’t interested. I offered, she said ‘No, thanks,’ told me that she was givin’ the baby up for adoption. Seems as if she lied about that, though. I found out a few years back.”
“Oh, Lord.”
“As I said, I didn’t know it, but she kept the girl. Tiffany’s almost thirty-two now, and…well, it’s time she and I met. Especially now that she’s moved back to Bittersweet. Living in the same town, it doesn’t make much sense not to acknowledge that we’re father and daughter.”
“Are you sure? Maybe she’s not interested in meeting you.” Bliss, who had always prided herself on her strength, felt suddenly weary. She was usually a woman who moved easily in business circles, handled herself well at sophisticated and elegant social events, could adjust her style so that she felt as at home in a Seattle high-rise overlooking Puget Sound as she was in a low-slung ranch house that hadn’t seen fresh paint in twenty years. But this—this complete alteration of what she’d grown up believing to be right and true—was more than she could deal with. Nothing in her life had been this mortifying, except maybe her faith in Mason Lafferty all those years ago.
“It’s not so bad,” her father insisted. But then, he had no choice but to believe his own words, did he? If what he was saying was the God’s honest truth, then he had to trust that the situation would someway, somehow, work out. His graying brows drew together as if he were confused by the puzzle that was his life.
“Not so bad?” she repeated. “Well, it’s damned unbelievable.” Bliss, raised as an only child, had not one but two half sisters—grown women she’d never heard of before, never had known existed.
Clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders beneath the thin cotton of his hospital gown, her father mustered up as much bravado as he could. “So now I’m gonna change things. Brynnie and I are gonna get married as soon as the docs tell me I can move back to Bittersweet.” He fingered the edge of his sheet. “I’d like you to come with me, Blissie. Meet Brynnie and your sisters.”
“Meet them?” Boy, her father had really lost it. “Dad, it’s not just that simple. I mean…do they want to meet me?”
“Brynnie does.”
“And the others?”
“Don’t know.”
Could she do it? Go back to Bittersweet, a town that held all kinds of bad memories? She felt a familiar ache in her heart—one she’d tried to bury for ten years—and that old, dark pain seared through her. She rubbed her thigh where she still sometimes felt a jab of pain from the accident so many years before. She could only hope that Mason was roasting in his own private hell. “I don’t think so, Dad,” she heard herself saying. “My life’s here, in Seattle.”
“What have you got other than an apartment and a job?”
“Oscar.” She hitched her chin up an inch.
“That mutt of a dog can move with you. You can sublet your apartment and work from Oregon, what with fax machines and computer links and all. I know you spent one summer working out of a cabin in the San Juan Islands and another in Victoria
. So don’t give me any guff about having to be near the office. I’ll have the phone company put in more telephone lines to the house for your modem and whatever else you need. The way I understand it—” he eyed her as if expecting her to mount a protest “—or at least what you’ve always led me to believe, is that you’re pretty much independent anyway.”
That much was true. She worked with two other architects restoring old buildings in Seattle, but she was between projects right now and had planned to take a vacation to Mexico or the Caribbean or somewhere in the sun. So why not Bittersweet? A dozen reasons why. Mason Lafferty was at the top of the list. If he still lived there. She hadn’t heard from him in a decade and had never asked her father about him, though she had, over the years, gleaned a little about his life from people who had run across him. Not that it mattered. He’d betrayed her. Pure and simple.
Like your father betrayed your mother.
Well, she, for one, wasn’t about to dwell on the mistakes of her past. Not now. Not ever.
As for the half sisters she’d never known existed, what would be the point of meeting them now? True, she’d been raised as an only child and had always wished for siblings—brothers or sisters—but now that she was faced with her father’s infidelity, she wasn’t sure she could accept her sisters. Oh, what was she thinking? Sisters? Half sisters? Two of them? What would she say to them? What could she say?
“This is way too sudden for me, Dad.”
“And I’m runnin’ out of time.” He scowled and clicked off the television. “Who knows when the Grim Reaper’s gonna knock on my door?”
“Don’t talk like that!”
“I’ve already had one heart attack. I think it’s time to live my life the way I want to.” He rubbed his jaw, scratching the silver bristles covering his chin. “Besides, you’ll like Brynnie, if you only give her a chance.”
Bliss wasn’t so sure. Brynnie, was, after all, her father’s mistress and even though Bliss had known that her parents had drifted apart over the years, she couldn’t just accept this other woman as part of her family. Bile climbed steadily up her throat, but she forced it back down.