by T. N. King
Her mother was cut off entirely by her father again, his hand placed on her knee in such a way that brokered no argument in the silent request he was giving her for her shutting her mouth. It wasn’t often that he silenced her, especially when she was worked up.
“Nicole?” he asked instead, his even voice even starker a contrast after her mother had gone off like she had. It made her want to cry, those too present tears welling up behind her eyes and her head slowly inclining in a nod to answer his earlier question. It wasn’t that she was ashamed, or even that she was too fearful of their reactions, even if they weren’t positive now she knew that they would eventually be okay with it. They loved her, unconditionally, and they loved Mason too. They didn’t have to understand it, or even want to understand it, but as long as they saw that the two of them were happy that was all that would matter to them… eventually.
“Aaron is claiming that your relationship with Mason started much earlier, and that you were trying to escape it and that’s where the bruises and the difficulties have come from,” again his voice was steady.
Nicole couldn’t contain her reaction then, even if she probably should have. Form going rigid in the back seat and the anger that burned through her so fast and so strong that she almost wished they were back at the apartment so that she could finish the job that Mason had started. “That isn’t true!” She burst out finally, stutter to her voice gone and her volume raised near too loud. “Mason never touched me before recently, not even when I wanted him to!” Her exclamations were rising, fury burning through her chest. She couldn’t speak again, slamming her way out of the car, the seat belt nearly catching her in place before she managed to furiously remove it from her torso. She needed out of the car. She needed to take a lap, her legs continuing to carry her to the other side of the station’s building despite her parent’s voices raised after her….
She just… needed a moment…
Chapter Twenty-One
The cuffs were tight around his wrists, held down to the table and stretching the tendons in his arms in such a manner that the points of his fingers were beginning to lose feeling. He heard her step into the room, could see her and her too high-ponytail out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn’t for the life of him lift his head to face her full on. To look at her with the charges that were being levelled against him, with the accusations that had been flung the moment the cops had arrived on the scene. He’d known they were going to be coming in here. He knew they would have already spoken to Nicole, and he knew she’d undoubtedly told the both of them what she’d been only earlier that morning been agonizing telling them, and because of the emotional state she was in she had probably done so in much more graphic a detail than she would have liked to have done.
He couldn’t face Marie, when he’d been operating this whole time under the illusion that it wasn’t going to faze him any. Whatever reaction Nicole’s parents had—and yet, faced with the woman now felt so much more reminiscent of how it was he’d first met her, cuffed and chained with her entering the room silently and him unable to so much as make the briefest of eye contact with her. The only difference was the lack of defiance his form had held then versus the air of defeat that now drug his shoulders just that much lower towards the table and where his hands were already bound.
“Did you?” Broken the silence without any preface, just as she had the very first time it was he had met her, asking that same question, only this time he didn’t know which part it was in reference to, whereas before he’d been well aware she had been asking if he’d destroyed that property…and he had, only he hadn’t answered her then any more than he was now. “Did you start your relationship with Nicole when you were children? Aaron is swearing up and down that that’s what happened, and that is where the strife between the three of you has been coming in, that she was trying to escape what she knew was a sordid relationship in which you took advantage of her, and Nicole is saying… the exact opposite.”
Of course she was, because previous to the past few months he had never so much as touched her in even half of a manner that could be misconstrued as inappropriate, he’d been very careful not to do so. He might have entertained the thought of doing so, but never any more than that.
He didn’t offer anything up himself, only his thumbs shifting within their captivity, pushing further into the side of his palm and dropping his eyes even further. He didn’t owe anyone an explanation here, and he didn’t want to see the disillusionment in her eyes, or the disappointment and guilt either. Nicole and he weren’t actually brother and sister, and Marie and Paul had never been his parents, even if they weren’t simply the people who had collected his foster fund as he had first expected them to be.
“I knew, you know, back when you were an adolescent, after that fight you got into with those boys…”
It was almost enough for him to look up, chin jerking in place from the shock of what she was saying, from what she was inferring, his eyebrows knitting together on his forehead to try and keep his resolve and stare at the wood grain of the table only.
“It’s a completely natural response, all things considered, it happens all the time, figuring out your relationships and confusing healthily functioning ones as romantic when they aren’t- it was the same for my brother and I.”
She had lost him, the same tendency her daughter had when she was nervous or stressed displayed in her rambling in an order that only made sense to her alone. It wasn’t a natural response, his feelings for her daughter, wasn’t some psychologically traceable reaction to having moved in, elsewise it would have dissipated once he’d become accustomed to living in their home. He also didn’t see how her experience with her brother was at all similar, or even any of his business. As far as he knew his adopted mother and his adopted Uncle Pete had a completely normal sibling relationship, and her hinting otherwise made him uncomfortable on so many different levels- only part of which had to do with her husband that he knew had to be somewhere in this building.
“I mean, I was adopted a bit younger than you were- by two years actually-”
His head did jerk up then, eyes widening marginally despite his feigned aloofness since she had walked in. She was dropping all kinds of bombs tonight, ones which, even in the situation he found himself in, he was wholly unprepared to face.
In all of his years living in her home she’d not once mentioned being adopted herself, and neither had either Paul or Nicole- and while he could believe that Paul could be aware of it and keep it from him, he didn’t think that it was something Nicole would have managed, especially now.
“Don’t look so surprised Mason, did you think I got into children’s services at random? I was six when I was taken away from my biological parents for reasons I’d rather not get into right now, and I spent three years going through group homes and foster care before Mawmaw and PopPop adopted me, they’d seen me at a church my then foster family was visiting and somehow they just knew I was supposed to come home with them. They’d already adopted Pete years earlier, they’d had him almost his whole life- and then there was me. I took a longer time to adapt, and Pete was instrumental in my doing so, I fancied for a little bit that I had a crush on him, but wouldn’t you know when I tried to kiss him we both almost puked and swore to never discuss it again- a year after that and I’d found my way into their family. I’m only explaining this to make sense of my thought process to you, because I need to understand yours Mason. I need to understand how this happened.”
Her voice was almost stripped, that raw emotion being poured into each word almost painful to listen to, the bare bones of what was apparently her story lain out before him in more blunt a manner than he’d ever seen her approach a single other thing in his entire life with her. “I’m telling you this to make you understand that when I saw you staring at her, when I noticed you taking time out of your way to give her attention and show interest in the things she was interested in, even without having any real interest of your own, it
was recognizable to me. Of course, I didn’t tell Paul, you were still so new to us… and bless his heart he would have never been able to understand it. I saw you, but I also just assumed that you never acted on it, because I was sure that Nicole would have told me if you had tried, and you were always so very careful around her… I just assumed… that with the time passing that you had gotten over it, that you had adjusted like I did with Pete, only that isn’t the case is it? You just got better at hiding it…”
He wasn’t even sure if she was talking for him anymore, staring at him in a way that made him feel like she wasn’t even seeing him. Like she was putting the pieces together just by walking through it out loud.
“I know you never considered us your parents… I know you were adamant in the beginning that you wouldn’t. I did hear you even if I pretended not to you know, I just figured that you were going to be like me, I refused to call Mawmaw and PopPop anything at first… but eventually I came around and they’re the only parents I could ever imagine having now, but our situations were different from the beginning.” Her face was too lined, her eyes dropping then, running over her fingers which he only just noticed that she was nervously twisting around one another. “I know it’s just not how it worked for you, no matter how much I considered you my son. It doesn’t make you consider me in the same light, and I really am fine with that Mason, but I tried my best, I wanted to give you what my parents had given me, but with all of this… it’s only more obvious that somehow I failed you, even if these charges are inaccurate, they are inaccurate aren’t they?” Her eyes shooting up faster than he was prepared for, locking on him with that searching gaze that she reserved only for such special occasions such as these.
He almost took too long of a second before nodding, a half dip of his chin towards his chest in acknowledgement, because he couldn’t not answer her, no matter how much he wanted to.
“I’m sorry Mason. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a mother to you, I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you couldn’t come to either myself or Paul with these kinds of things, hell I’m sorry for being oblivious enough to have missed all of this…”
The derisive laugh out of the side of her mouth hurt, his guilt clenching his gut at the way she dropped her gaze again, that dismissive shrug that encompassed her shoulders so far forced that it was nearly a succession of jerky movements instead of the one it was supposed to be. She hadn’t failed him, neither she nor Paul, they had been so much more than he could have ever been prepared for them to have become. His throat closed up around the words that he wanted to say, already aware that he was going to break his resolve and say something , it was just the words didn’t want to come, he didn’t have them on hand… grappling there while she fidgeted.
“Marie,” her name was stretched out into three more syllables than was necessary, his thumbs pressing even harder into his own flesh. “You’re not my mother,” he affirmed, watching that small jerk of her shoulders at him voicing it. “But you have been… equally as important to me, you didn’t fail me…” The words were stilted, awkward coming out of his mouth, so many more emotion words than he was used to expressing to another person outside of Dr. Friedrich and Nicole. “I didn’t touch her, not until recently,” which was probably too honest of an admission, however he was sure that much worse had been said to them by the detectives and Aaron both. “You’re right, I’ve had these emotions for a long time, but I never acted on them while living under your roof, and we were planning to tell you tonight over dinner…” He didn’t even know how much Nicole had managed to explain to her parents, didn’t know what assumptions that they were operating under, and this was much more personal subject matter than he was normally comfortable discussing with another person.
Just like he wasn’t comfortable with the way that, when he did manage to lift his gaze to her, she was crying- silent, large tears rolling down the angled planes of her face and dropping down onto her sweater.
“She told us some of what’s happened between her and Aaron…” she trailed off again, her wrist lifting to scrub at her face like she could get rid of the evidence itself and stop the tears entirely. “I did fail you- the both of you, both with this and with making my daughter think that it was ever something she had to hide from her father and I. The things he was allowed to do to her… in our home, with us supporting their relationship…”
Again, his guilt seared, watching Marie shift like she was, taking all of that blame into herself. She was a magnificent woman, even if it wasn’t something he had ever told her aloud, her fingers pressing into her temples and Mason shifting uncomfortably again. She couldn’t have seen it, Aaron was too smart for that, too cunning and too well developed a sociopath. That was something she should have known by now, working in the industry that she did. Those like Aaron were too good at what they did, too practiced and skilled to be caught easily by even the most highly trained. “If you had forbade it, or if you had tried to interfere it only would have pushed her further towards him,” he said instead, his words just as slow as they had been before. It wasn’t often he found himself on the giving end of advice when it came to Marie and Paul, he generally tried very hard to ensure that they were allowed to feel as if they were the ones assisting him with such things. “She needed to figure out her own way, in her own time.” Which wasn’t something he wanted to be admitting either, especially after seeing the degree of violence that Aaron treated Nicole to. There had been more than one moment while he’d been personally attacking him that the thought crossed his mind that it wouldn’t have been at all possible if Mason had finished the job the first time that something like that had even been slightly inferred. He knew he was right though, at least logically, even if his emotions were going down a completely different path. Just like he knew that Marie wasn’t at fault for any of the things that she was trying to take responsibility for. You couldn’t control another person’s emotions, not in truth. Just like you couldn’t read someone’s mind to know their true intent. If that had been the case it was very likely that Marie would have never let Mason in the house in the first place.
“I’m worried,” she broke the silence after another few minutes, not rushing through her words as she had been before, but obviously deliberating on each one before she spoke. “I’m worried about your situation here and the charges being levelled against you. I’m worried about yours and Nicole’s decision to pursue things in the manner that you have… I’m worried about you and Nicole period. This is a very dangerous situation, do you understand that Mason? I know you don’t always think of things the way the rest of us do, or consider the same things that we do- but if this doesn’t work out with the two of you? If it sours? What then? What if it doesn’t sour? I know you probably don’t care about the gossips in our town or what they’re going to have to say, but do you think Nicole will be okay with it? Do you think she’s going to survive the ridicule and scorn that’s thrown her way over what people are going to view as her sleeping with her brother? You don’t have to answer any of this now…. I just want to bring my concerns up to you, personally, and have you at least consider them, if only because I have asked you to.” Her reach across that table was slow, both of her hands folding over his jointed ones and squeezing, helping relieve some of that numb tingling that had begun to build up.
Something that, after a moment, he realized just how aware she was of it, her thumbs working small circles into his pressure points in an obvious attempt to alleviate some of that pain.
They were valid concerns, at least so far as Nicole and Marie were concerned. They were things that he had, just as she had assumed, not even considered as issues or concerns for him to address. He didn’t associate with people in the same way that the Carter’s did, didn’t have anyone whose opinion he cared for one way or another… Then while her relationship with Aaron had driven a wedge between her and her friends he knew it was only a matter of time, now that they had broken up, before that began to change again, unless of c
ourse her relationship with him was going to do the same. People had opinions, he was well aware of that, he just generally didn’t care for anyone else’s beyond his own. “I understand your concern,” was all he could offer her because of it, trying to return some sort of pressure to her hands in response despite the near impossibility for him to do so. Her focus didn’t shift from him though, looking at him still expectantly, and again uncharacteristically he found himself trying to soothe her worry and alleviate at least some of her tension temporarily. “And I hear you,” repeated as a phrase that she had made him use as a child once she had discovered he wouldn’t agree to something unless he meant it to at least show her that he was listening and not ignoring her in the way that she had thought he was for so long.
The half twitch of her lips was almost worth it, sounds of the doors opening and closing from beyond the room they were held in and her standing, hands still over his, to move around the table towards him, her hands only lifting when she was right by his chair. Then even still that was only enough for her to throw her arms around his shoulders, pulling his whole weight into her and squeezing as if it was some sort of prolonged goodbye. Which, if the face of the officer who stepped into the room then was anything to go by, it very well could be. “I love you,” was whispered into his hair, “and we’re going to fight this with you, but you need to be honest in return, and you need to keep. That. temper. In. check.” Her words were hastened.