Torn

by T. N. King

  Caroline looked carefully around the table, counting the hands. She didn’t let any emotion pass over her face, nothing to tell the way she wanted the vote to go, but Liam could guess, she had taught history, and was always passionate about student learning. She’d managed to help him pass, after all.

  “Alright,” Caroline said finally, writing down the number on her paper. She waited a moment for them to go back down again, and looked around the table. “Let’s see who’s voting in favor of using the money for English literature curriculum materials.”

  Liam put up his hand, and gave Miranda a quick smile as she did the same, but a vote was unnecessary, and everyone knew it. The vote was overwhelmingly in favor of giving to money to the football program.

  Harrison glared at him, as he noticed Liam’s hand was raised. He met the glare with a calm face, making sure no trace of emotion was showing. He’d faced worse than this in his life, even before the Navy. He could see Harrison in a way Miranda couldn’t, because she was so intimately involved. She thought he was a monster, bent on destroying her life. But he only could destroy it because she let him. Harrison didn’t actually have that kind of power. He wasn’t a monster, he was nothing more than a schoolyard bully, and Liam could squash him flat in a second. He hoped he wouldn’t have to, since it would put Caroline in a bad position, but if it came to it, he would do what he had to.

  “Well,” Caroline answered finally, writing something on one of her papers. “We have our answer. This money will go to the football team. And with that, I will let you all go.”

  He glanced quickly at Miranda, and she didn’t just look upset, she looked defeated, as if it had been a physical blow. If she was down, Harrison was the exact opposite, he was almost crowing with pride that he’d won the money over everyone else, even though he hadn’t really done anything to achieve it. All he had done was win a greater show of hands from a group of people too indifferent or scared of him to actually pay attention to the debate. In the midst of his celebration, Harrison looked over at Liam, giving him an angry look.

  Liam kept his face neutral, looking at Harrison until the other man had to look away first. He had to be kidding himself, Liam thought, to think that was going to scare him. He’d been up against the Taliban, a high school gym teacher couldn’t compare.

  Liam stood up, and let the rest of the teachers’ stream past him.

  Caroline walked towards Miranda, holding back until Harrison left. She rested a hand on Miranda’s arm, and leaned her head forward. “I’m sorry Miranda,” she said softly. “Hopefully we can apply again for those grants, and use the money for the core subjects.”

  Miranda shook her head, moving her arm away. “Not as long as I’m here,” she answered, checking that the room was clear, making sure that Harrison had already left.

  Without saying anything else, she slipped away and out of the room.

  Caroline looked over at Liam, raising her eyebrows.

  He got the feeling he was supposed to do something, but didn’t know what it was. Instead, he stood, looking at the door as everyone left, leaving him alone in the room. He wasn’t sure what Caroline wanted him to do, but there was something. There were people he knew, people he could talk to, that might be able to help her.

  Liam reached into his pocket, took out his cell phone and quickly dialed a number. He waited as it rung drumming his fingers against the desk.

  “Department of Liaisons,” a cordial female voice answered.

  “Hi this is Liam Stone I’m trying to connect to Lieutenant Jamie Saunders.”

  “One moment please,” the polite voice responded.

  Liam stayed on the line listening to monotonous muzak that played. He stood up from his chair in the conference room and looked out the window. Students were still trickling out of school. He felt nervous. He hated asking people for favors, it made him feel too open and vulnerable. He had no problem doing favors for other people, in fact, he liked doing for others, he liked people owing him, and was going to call one in now.

  “Hey, Stoner! Gotten yourself into some trouble?”

  Liam immediately broke out into a smile hearing Jamie’s voice. Jamie was the only that ever called him Stoner. In fact, he was the first person to ever even give Liam a nickname. Although Liam would never share this with Jamie, he was the closest thing to a brother that Liam had.

  They’d met a few years before, at a base in Afghanistan. They’d had opposite patrols, Jaime in the morning and Liam in the evening, so Liam was back at the base when they brought Jaime and what was left of his team back. Seven had gone out in their Humvee, but only three came back. The metal rod they had to put in Jamie’s leg meant he wouldn’t be going on another rotation again. Instead, he started working at the liaison office, doing good back home, and he seemed to be enjoying it.

  “Hey Jamie, how’s office life treating you? Is it eating you alive yet?”

  “If we could send a company of these Department of Liaisons lackey’s to Afghanistan, things would be done by now man, they run an even tighter ship than our old General.”

  Liam laughed.

  “So, what can I do you for?” Jaime asked.

  “It’s a school that I’ve been helping out. They’ve been having trouble getting some grants for their core classes, and I want to help them out. It seems they just never get enough.”

  Jaime gave a hard, short laugh. “There’s never enough to go around.”

  “That’s why I want to make sure this place gets its share,” Liam explained. It was hard to put into words why he wanted to help them so badly. It was more than just wanting to impress Miranda, or repay Caroline, even though both those things were mixed up in it. Miranda’s speech at the staff meeting had moved something in him, made him think about things differently. He supported the football team and always would, but Miranda’s words opened his eyes to the other kids, the ones that wouldn’t be helped by football. No matter what Harrison said, the football team’s success didn’t mean success for the entire school. Someone had to think about those kids too, someone like Miranda. “I know there’s all kinds of grants and stuff, through State and the DOD, and that they can sometimes be hard to apply for. I thought maybe if I came in and put in a good word for them, that might help.”

  Jaime agreed, “It can sometimes. It depends on the word. And the person giving it. Which one of the grants are you looking for?”

  Liam shrugged. “I don’t know. Anything we can get, I guess. Anything for the core classes would be useful. But I know they haven’t had much for English literature for a while.”

  “Alright.”

  Liam heard Jamie typing something into his computer.

  “That’s definitely something I can help with.” There was a silence and then, “I don’t know how quickly this will happen though, you know how State goes.”

  Liam shuffled his feet. Why was he even doing this, meddling in other people’s business? But then he looked down at the parking lot and saw Miranda slowly walking to her car. He found himself leaning even closer to the glass. Even though she was so far away, he felt like he could tell from her slow gait that she was upset. The slight bounce in her step was gone. “Whatever you can do to make this happen as quickly as possible I would really appreciate it.”

  “Liam,” Jamie started but didn’t finish.

  Liam could tell that he was starting to push Jamie to his limits. “You know me,” Liam took a deep breath and spoke, “You know I wouldn’t be making this call if it wasn’t important.” It was hard for him to swallow that part down, since it wasn’t technically true. The school needed money, that part was true, but their need wasn’t any more than any of the other schools.

  Jaime sighed again. “You’re right. I do know you, and I know you don’t really ask for much. You do your duty, and don’t complain. That’s more than a lot of other guys could say.”

  Liam just nodded, unlike a lot of other guys he didn’t need to brag about his record. He knew what he’d done, and wh
y he had done it. He didn’t need anyone else’s comments about it, he didn’t need them changing and twisting his motives to fit their own stories, calling them heroes, or murderers, just to make themselves feel better. It’s easy to judge if you’ve never had to make those choices yourself, until you hear the bullets flying past your head, you don’t really know what you would do in that situation. He had stepped up, and done what he had to do, that’s all that mattered, and all that anyone else needed to know.

  Jaime continued, “I’m sure your record will squeeze open a few more doors for them. A lot of people have a high regard for you and your judgement. I’ll make a note of your interest in the file when I send it in, and we’ll see what happens.”

  “Thanks,” Liam said distractedly as he watched Miranda just sitting in her car. It looked like she was crying, her face in her hands. It bothered him a little that he was pushing to help his school get the money. He thought back to that staff meeting, the teachers lined up against each other, like they were getting ready to fight in a war, Miranda’s pinched, pale face in the middle of the action, fighting her cause, knowing it was going to fail. No, they had a need too; they needed this just as much as any other school.

  “Everything all right, buddy?”

  “No, it’s fine,” Liam answered, although the tone in his voice conveyed otherwise. He could tell by the following silence on the phone that Jamie was debating whether to bring it up or not.

  “Alright, what school is it?”

  “E.T. Morrow High School.”

  “Nice. That’s not too far away. Have they applied for the grant in the past?”

  Liam thought for a minute, the whole idea suddenly seeming foolish. He’d hoped to get the money for the school as a surprise, to show that those classes had value, and maybe show Harrison he couldn’t rule the entire school. It could give everyone a bit more breathing space; maybe make things better for Miranda, once he left. But now he wasn’t sure about it. There was so much he didn’t know, about the school, about this process, everything. But he was here now, he had to keep going. In the end he just shrugged. “I’m really not sure. I’ve just been here giving them a hand while I’m stateside. I don’t know what they did before. Maybe they have.”

  Jaime sighed on the phone. “That’s really above and beyond, buddy.”

  “Does it change anything if they have?”

  Liam could almost imagine Jamie shrugging as he said, “Maybe, I’d have to check to be sure. It really just means I’ll already have that information on file. Less work. It will also say if they’ve been given the grant before, and when. Any school that gets any of the money has to wait five years before they’re eligible again.”

  “Yeah, that makes sense. Give everyone a chance. Make things fair. Is there a lot of schools that apply?”

  “There’s enough, I guess. It’s the scholarships that are the big thing. A lot of them don’t really get advertised, so people don’t know about them. There’s a lot of money that could be going to students, but isn’t.”

  Liam frowned at this, it could be a lot of kids missing out. A lot of kids missing chances for a better life. But, a small voice whispered through his head, it was another chance to impress Miranda. He could get that information, and hand it out to her students. Think of her face, the way she would smile at him, if he came back to the school with scholarships for her students. She would be so grateful, she’d throw her arms around him, and he could pull her closer against his chest…no, he told himself roughly. Don’t even think about that. He didn’t want to get Miranda that way; he wanted her to choose him on her own. He didn’t want to compel her, like his stepfather had done to his mother.

  “What’s the principal's name? And the lead teacher, or teachers for the courses?” Jaime asked, interrupting his thoughts again.

  “The principal is Caroline Cole,” he paused, thinking. “I don’t actually know the name of the lead teacher. Or a lot of the other teachers.”

  Jaime was silent for a moment. “That doesn’t really matter. The principal will know. I can get that information from her. Or it would be listed if they’re already in the system.”

  “Okay, great.”

  “What’s so hot about this place? Why are you pushing it so hard? I’ve never even heard you talk about this place before.”

  Liam shrugged. “No real reason. It was my school, you know. My, what do they call it? My Alma Mater. They gave me something, so I guess I should give them something too.”

  Jaime scoffed. “Just apologize for the trouble you put them through.” He laughed loudly. “I don’t hear you denying it.”

  “Well, you aren’t entirely wrong,” Liam answered rolling his eyes, even though it wasn’t entirely right either. “How soon do you think we’ll know? One way or another.”

  Jaime laughed again, this time with a hint of bitterness. “Like I said before, I have no idea. I don’t know much about government, but I know it doesn’t work quickly. Or at all most of the time.”

  “Isn’t that the truth,” Liam agreed, with a snort. “I was just kind of hoping it would be taken care of in the next couple months.”

  “You heading out again?” Jaime asked, his voice breaking into Liam’s thoughts.

  “Yeah in a couple months, last I heard. But that could change if something comes up.” Sometimes he wondered if Jaime missed it, or if he asked just to be friendly. It was hard to tell, and Liam wasn’t sure he wanted to ask. He wasn’t sure what he would say if Jaime said yes.

  “Do you know anything?”

  “Probably Afghanistan again, but nothing concrete. When it happens, I’ll probably be the last to know about it.”

  “The place that time forgot.” Jaime laughed hollowly.

  Liam knew he was rubbing his leg under the desk. He always did when talk turned to Afghanistan.

  “Do you think you’ll ever stay put state-side sometime?” Jamie asked.

  Liam chuckled. “I don’t know. I guess whenever they stop sending me.”

  They both laughed, but Liam knew that wasn’t true. He’d done his duty, and completed many missions, some more successful than others. They probably wouldn’t be happy about it, but they’d let him go if he asked. The problem was he just couldn’t stay in one place very long, there were too many bad memories, too many thoughts in his head. If he didn’t keep moving, he would probably drown in them.

  “Well, I let you know about this Liam, take care of yourself in the meantime. I mean it.”

  “Thanks Jamie, you too.” Liam hung up looking out the window, not sure if he did the right thing.

  “You’re instincts are wrong.”

  A tight lip smile crossed Liam’s face. He should have known better than to have this call on Caroline’s turf.

  “That’s not the right way to help her.”

  Liam turned from the window to see Caroline standing there arms crossed in the door way. “How long have you been standing there?” He ran his hands through his thick dark hair.

  “Long enough to know that you’re pulling strings with the DOS to get funding for Miranda. Was there anything else I missed?”

  Liam shook his head. He looked at her smooth porcelain face. One of her perfectly manicured eyebrows was arched. He tried to read the expression behind her smart eyes. “You disapprove?”

  “I’m no longer in control of you Liam, you can do whatever you wish. But I would also say that I know you and that you’d be wise to take my advice. I don’t believe you’re able to give Miranda what she needs. It’s best if you would leave her alone. Focus more on your job here and helping the kids.” Caroline looked him up and down as if assessing him. She gave him small sad smile.

  “And what does Miranda need?”

  “Inner strength.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Two Weeks Later…

  Fear shot through Miranda like a lightning bolt. All of her tires had been slashed and keyed into the side of her car was the word, “Slut.” Harrison’s demonic grin immed
iately came to her mind. There was no one else it could possibly be. Miranda looked around frantically. Harrison was probably still nearby. He was probably watching her this very minute. She’d only been gone from her car for 15 minutes at the most. During that time, she had walked Elise into school gave her a hug and talked to a few other moms of Elise’s classmates.

  Her heart was pounding a thousand miles a minute. Harrison had done cruel things before, but this was a next level kind of threat. Her body began to tremor, sweat pooling under her arms.

  “Act normal. Just act normal. He would want you to freak out. That’s what he would want. You’re fine. You’re fine,” she whispered to herself. It was working. She was slowly calming herself down. As casually as possible, she reached for her phone in her purse. She saw her fingers were trembling and she tried to keep them still as she quickly dialed her cellphone and put it to her ear. Her eyes scanned the elementary school’s parking lot for Harrison’s black jeep Cherokee.

  “Hey Miranda! What’s up?” Kevin her perky and chatty co-workers voice answered the phone.

  “Hey Kevin, it’s Miranda, my car broke down over here at Central Elementary and I was wondering if you could swing by and pick me up on your way to work?” Miranda slowly made her way further out into the parking lot, again trying to look as if she was casually strolling as she scanned every inch of the area. She had to know. She had to know if she was just being paranoid or if Harrison was really out to get her. She looked up and down the rows for his black car.

  “I’m already as school, but I don’t mind doubling back and picking you up,” he replied. “Also, I have some amazing, amazing news!”

  “Thank you Kevin, I really appreciate it,” Miranda said distractedly as she made her way further through the parking lot. So far, there was no sign of Harrison’s car.

  “Miranda, are you ok? You seem a little dazed.”

  Miranda could hear the concerned tone in his voice and felt bad for drawing him into her problems.

  “I’m fine. Just haven’t had my cup of coffee yet,” Miranda covered as she walked down into the last row of the parking lot. Her eyes scanned over all of the shiny cars parked in neat rows.