She’s never even witnessed any of my manic/depressive episodes.
I, at least, needed to get through this winter with her, then I could think about marriage.
Right now, I was just happy having her in my arms, knowing she’d be there when I woke up.
“Michael?” Nikki called to me.
I looked over to see her parents and her studying me.
I turned and walked away from the arguing siblings, offering my hand to Sol, once again.
“How’s it going?” I asked.
He smiled.
“You did a good job, keeping this from her. I was just telling her that you were the one to organize all of this,” Sol said.
Nikki looked from her father to me.
“You’re good at keeping secrets,” she teased. “I’m usually the first one to talk my family into opening the presents. Next time I’ll have to pay attention for the signs of you hiding something.”
I snorted. “You’d never figure out if I was hiding something from you. You, on the other hand, are an open book.”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
I nodded.
Then her eyes narrowed. “I’m good at keeping secrets, though.”
Then Memphis and Downy walked up, effectively ending our conversation.
“Lolita! Did you bring me some tamales?” Downy asked loudly.
Lolita blushed. “No, my Downy, I didn’t. But I’m making some tomorrow, so I’ll be sure to bring you some by the station.”
Downy grinned.
“Score!” he said, pulling his arm down quickly from head height. “Make ‘em hot! You know how I like ‘em!”
Lolita rolled her eyes, and I turned to Memphis, only to see her looking at Nikki oddly.
She was staring at the glass of champagne in Nikki’s hand like it was a viper.
“What?” I asked her.
Memphis turned and looked at me with wild eyes.
The first thing I noticed she saw was my bare arms, causing her eyes to widen further.
“Holy shit!” she announced loudly. “You got a new one!”
I looked down at my bare arms and grimaced.
I’d gone without the long sleeves tonight for Nikki.
I knew she liked when I showed them off.
And, although I did it for her, I wasn’t comfortable with it.
I didn’t like explaining why I had so many tattoos. Because with that explanation came the explanation of the fact that I suffered from depression and I was bipolar.
Which only launched into more conversations that I didn’t want to have.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nikki turn to place her champagne glass down on a nearby table and turn to me.
I raised a brow at the move, but she only winked and walked away, talking to even more of her friends and family, leaving me to explain to Memphis something that I didn’t even want to get into.
***
Two hours later, the champagne dilemma was brought up again.
“Nikki, why aren’t you drinking any champagne? I bought it specifically for you!” Georgia asked, thrusting yet another glass at her.
Nikki once again waved it off. “No, I’m not interested in champagne tonight. I want to enjoy this night, not forget it.”
Somewhat mollified, Georgia put the drink to her lips and sipped, keeping her eyes on Nikki, studying her.
I studied Nikki, too.
She’d not had a drink in a very long time, now that I thought about it.
Why?
Making a note to question her later, I turned back to the conversation at hand.
“So they’re making budget cuts? Where? Are they going to take away our new body armor? The vehicles that they promised? The overtime pay that they force us to take?” Nico asked in outrage at hearing what Luke had just said.
Luke shook his head. “I’m only telling you the rumors I’m hearing and explaining why I’ll be attending the town hall meeting.”
“Well, how about they lower the amount of pay the mayor makes or some of the city officials? Why not take the budget cuts out of the fuckin’ flowers that they plant in the middle of the road. Or the new red lights they keep putting up that only do more problem than good,” Nico muttered darkly.
Luke held his hands up in surrender.
“That’s why I mentioned it. I want y’all to go to the meeting with me this Friday,” Luke said.
After a few grunts of confirmation, Luke turned to me.
“I’ve also wanted to talk to you today, too, but I could never get you. Have you heard any more about those murders?” he asked.
We all knew which ones he was talking about.
Everyone did.
It was now public information after the fourth one in forty square miles and two weeks happened.
“Wolf is up and talking, but he’s only been able to give the minutest of details. He can attest to the black clothes, the black hoodie, and the black boots. We know he had black hair, and he was about five foot nine or ten. Whipcord lean. About one hundred and eighty pounds,” I told them. “But y’all already know that. Parker and Elliott aren’t sharing much else yet. Wolf is getting released on Monday, though. And, hopefully, he’ll be approved to adopt Nathan like he’s looking to do since he has no other family,” I informed them.
Luke nodded.
“I heard the boy’s finally doing better,” Downy said around a mouthful of cake. “When’s he get to go home?”
I shook my head. “Only time will tell with him. He’s got some swelling on his brain that’s causing him to act a lot differently than he was before, so they’re waiting for that to go down some more before they make any plans of him getting released.”
“Fuck,” Miller said, pulling his beer up to his lips and taking a sip.
My sentiments exactly.
“You’re pregnant!” Noel crowed. “That’s why you’re not drinking.”
My heart froze in my chest at the declaration from Nikki’s little sister, and I started to pay a little more attention.
“What? No! I’m not!” Nikki shook her head savagely.
Even though she denied it immediately, I started to connect some dots.
Throwing up.
No period that I’d seen as of yet.
And I would’ve noticed any of the million times we’d fucked in the past month and a half.
Weight gain.
Why she needed new pants at the mall today.
Why her nipples were so fuckin’ tender lately.
I’d barely brushed them in the shower this morning, and it had her begging for me all over again.
“’Scuse me,” I muttered, eyes connecting with Nikki’s.
Her eyes widened slightly, flaring with something I couldn’t read, and then disappeared before she schooled her features.
Then she excused herself from her friends and followed me out of the restaurant, then further outside.
I didn’t stop until we were in the shadows along the side of the building.
I could hear Nikki’s flip flops flapping against her feet as she walked behind me.
The wind from the impending storm flapping her skirt as she hurried to catch up to me.
But my strides were too fast for her.
She didn’t catch up to me until I stopped in shadows so deep that I couldn’t tell if she was standing in front of me before I moved my arms out to catch her before she slammed into my front.
“Now’s not the time for lying, Nikki,” I said breathlessly.
I was breathless because I was freaking the fuck out.
I was a doctor for fuck’s sake.
I knew the signs.
I was also smarter than I’d been acting.
I guess I wanted so badly to give Nikki the benefit of the doubt that I ignored the signs.
I never looked to see if she was taking the birth control.
Mother. Fucker.
“Michael,” she said, pressing her hand against my abs.
And I suddenly forgot what she and I were fighting about.
Mostly because her mouth was on mine, and her hands were wrapping around my neck.
She held on tight as I started to fight her, but then she pressed those delicious hips against my raging cock, and I forgot that I was mad.
Forgot that my life had just changed.
Forgot that she was trying to distract me.
Because she did distract me.
And I took the bait.
Hook, line, and fucking sinker.
My mouth slammed down on hers as I gathered her up into my arms.
The slinky skirt that reached her ankles tangling up in her legs as I tried to lift her up.
She and I both shoved the skirt up until it rested up around her hips, then I moved until I pressed her against the brick wall of the building we’d just exited.
“Nikki,” I growled, grinding my dick into her pussy.
“Yeah?” she asked, need evident in her voice.
She rocked her hips against my cock and keened when I hit her clit just right.
“Please… just don’t lie,” I begged.
She didn’t answer, which I guess was answer enough.
“Nikki,” I said, reaching between us to rip my cock free from the dress slacks and place it at her entrance. “Why?”
She shook her head. “I did everything right. I swear on my life, Michael. I did everything right.”
My eyes closed, and my heart felt like it was breaking as she sank down slowly onto my cock.
Her heat fisted my dick, covering each and every single inch of skin covering my length.
My eyes closed, not that it mattered anyway since it was pitch black outside now.
The lone light we’d been using for the minimal lighting it gave went out when a hard burst of wind screamed between the buildings.
Nikki gasped, and I couldn’t figure out if it was because of the pure darkness, or the way I rammed into her, taking my frustration about the entire situation out on her pussy.
“Michael,” she gasped, clinging tighter.
“Take it,” I ordered.
She leaned down and bit my neck, hard.
And I exploded.
It was all too much.
The way she clenched around me.
The way she smelled.
The thought of her carrying my baby.
A baby that was a miracle in its own right, but would probably grow up to be just like me.
“I finished without you,” I murmured into her hair.
She petted my head, running her nails along my scalp and making shivers chase down my spine.
“That’s okay,” she whispered softly. “Just don’t do it again.”
I laughed humorlessly and pulled out of her, letting her feet fall back toward the ground.
Once I knew she was steady, I let her hips go.
Her skirt fell from my grasp as I did, and we sat there in awkward silence.
Me with my head against her shoulder, and her with her arms still around me.
“What are we going to do?” I rasped, eyes clenched tight.
A sob caught in her throat, and I knew that she didn’t do this on purpose.
I knew it with all my heart and soul.
And when she whispered, “I don’t know, but I love you,” I knew that I would do whatever it took to come to terms with this.
Because I had just as much of a part in the conception of this child as she did.
And that’s what a man did.
Stepped up to the plate.
Chapter 16
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.
-T-shirt
Nikki
I knew he wouldn’t find me here.
It was the one place I could go without anyone finding me.
Salsarita Mamacita’s.
My family wouldn’t be caught dead here.
It was the poorest quality dancing place in town.
Plus, Michael didn’t dance.
He’d told me so.
Many, many times.
When I’d be dancing around the kitchen making dinner, he’d just roll his eyes at me in exasperation when I tried to get him to join in.
Something about attending too many dances when he was younger or some bullshit excuse like that.
It’d been two months since I’d told Michael that I was pregnant.
Two months since he’d fucked me, stayed with me throughout the rest of the night, and then disappeared without a trace.
Well, not without a trace.
I knew where he was.
He called me, updated me on what was going on, but he wasn’t there.
He was seeing a therapist.
He was ‘coming to terms’ with the baby, as he said.
He’d been on a case.
I knew it was a bad case.
I also knew it was a worthy case for him to be on, but I didn’t understand why it was taking him away from me like it was.
And I was fairly sure he was just using it as an excuse to lick his wounds. Wounds that he believed I delivered against him.
I was on birth control. I didn’t know what else to do to prevent a child other than abstinence…and that wasn’t going to happen with Michael.
I hadn’t been on antibiotics, so it wasn’t anything stupid on my part.
Nor had I forgotten any pills. I knew he didn’t want kids. I would never trap him into keeping me, nor give him a child he didn’t want on purpose.
So, needless to say, I was in a mood.
A lonely mood.
Because he wasn’t there.
He wasn’t with me, and I needed him so bad that I could barely stand it.
I’d been ducking his calls for three days now
And I knew he either would plain old stop calling, or he’d pull his head out of his ass and come see me.
Either one was a desired effect at this point.
I knew he loved me.
Knew it so deeply that I felt it with each call he made to me. Heard it in the tone of his voice.
I took a gulp of my water, enough that I could technically say I was done with it since there was no way I’d be touching it when I got back to my table.
I wasn’t going to be roofied.
Plus, I wasn’t stupid.
“Want to dance, mamacita?” I heard called over my shoulder.
I turned from where I was swaying my hips along with the beat to find a very beautiful man at my back.
He was tall.
He had a black leather vest over a red t-shirt with black jeans and a pair of black boots.
I knew he spelled T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
Did I care?
Fuck no.
Because I was a single lady, and single ladies had needs.
No, not that kind of needs.
Needs that made me want another human’s touch. Crave it.
Needs that Michael should be fulfilling right now. Not leaving me to my own devices.
Jesus, now I was depressing myself again.
I turned, and the man’s eyes immediately went down to my stomach.
Something I made no effort to hide.
I was proud of this stomach.
I was one week shy of four months pregnant, and I was definitely showing.
My previously flat belly was now gently rounded.
And the jeans that I was wearing hugged my legs and hips like a glove.
I had on black spiky heeled boots that came up to mid-calf, and a skintight black, low cut tank top that showed off the girls.
It was an outfit that I knew would drive Michael wild if he saw.
He wouldn’t, but I still hoped.
“Yeah?” I asked sharply.
His eyes moved up from my belly to my face and he asked abruptly, “You got a man?”
&n
bsp; I laughed. “Yeah, I have a man.”
His shoulders seemed to slump. “Shit. I was hoping you’d say different.”
I smiled genuinely at him.
“Life’s a bitch like that,” I offered him my hand. “My name’s Nikki.”
He took my hand, shook it twice, then let it go.
“Name’s Dane. Can I get you another drink?” he asked, looking pointedly at the near empty glass.
“Sure, but I’m going to dance right now. You may want to wait because if it sits there too long, I won’t drink it,” I told him, taking a step away from him.
He smiled. “I’ll do that. But I have a meeting that’s supposed to start in about fifteen minutes. I’ll have to take a raincheck.”
I tossed a laugh over my shoulder and disappeared into the crowd on the dance floor.
Shaking my ‘bon bon’ to some Ricky Martin, completely forgetting about the man and his ‘meeting’ by the time the fourth song, Pitbull this time, rolled around.
***
Forty-five minutes later, I came off the dance floor with one thing in mind.
A bathroom.
Quick.
I barreled through the door to my destination and came to a sudden halt when I was faced with the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen.
And she was pregnant to boot.
Flowing blonde hair that came down to her ass. A black skirt pulled up to just underneath her belly, a sky blue tank top, and gold gladiator sandals rounded out the outfit.
She looked hip and trendy, something I never managed to do.
My curves were too generous to look nice in what she was wearing.
“Hello,” I said, skirting around behind her to go into the stall behind her.
“Hi!” she answered back immediately.
I did my business but heard her leave before I made it back out of the stall.
Washing my hands and fixing some fly-aways from the bobby pins holding my hair out of my face, I smoothed my hands down my jeans and made my way out to the mouth of the hallway.
I tried to decide whether or not to grab a drink from the bar before going out to the dance floor once again when I saw them.
And my heart stalled in my chest, coming to a slow, pounding stop before it started beating again in a rapid staccato.
Because there, in front of me, was Michael.
He had his arm around the blonde woman from the bathroom, laughing with her.
Dane was across from them on a bench by himself, watching the two interact with crude eyes.
Code 11- KPD SWAT Box Set Page 136