Playing Pretend

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Playing Pretend Page 22

by Bester, Tamsyn


  The possibility of them leaving if I shut the door in their faces was minimal, so I let out an exasperated breath and stepped aside. I had a bad feeling about this, the kind that made you want to vomit in someone’s face.

  Okay, not really, but if given the chance, I would rather cut my leg off at the knee than talk to my sister and my dickhead ex. “Nice place,” my sister said, looking around.

  I agreed with her, it was a nice place with its’ hardwood laminate floors, open-plan living room, spacious bedroom, and windows overlooking the street below – but right now their presence made it feel ‘dirty’. The harsh sentiment was a trigger, bringing the memory of the last time I saw Katrina and Baxter to the forefront of my mind – he had her on her knees in front of him while he fucked her hard enough to shake the bed. Our bed. I hadn’t thought about it in a long time, but the memory was still vivid, and stirred up all the feelings of anger, and resentment I felt when I left London. I thought that was the last time I would ever see them. Luck clearly wasn’t on my side.

  “You have ten minutes,” I told them. “You can start with how you found me.”

  “Let’s not waste time with that,” said Baxter. “We have more important things to discuss.”

  “Like how you cheated on me with my sister?” I snapped. Katrina’s eyes fell. She couldn’t even look at me.

  “We made a mistake.” Baxter reached out to touch me, but I flicked his hand away. “And we’re sorry that we hurt you, Kadence.”

  “Five years,” – my blood warmed with vexation – “That’s how long I have been taking care of myself, and you’re saying sorry now?”

  Katrina looked ashamed but finally brought her gaze back up. “We were different people back then and we’ve never forgiven ourselves for what we did -”

  I scowled at her. “Spare me the bullshit, Trina. Looks like you’ve forgiven yourself just fine to me.”

  “I never meant to hurt you,” she whispered. “And I regret it every day.”

  “Not nearly enough,” I snorted with derision. “You’re pregnant, and wearing the same ring Bax gave me. I might’ve been blind to what was going between the two of you back then, but I’m not that stupid, naïve girl anymore. She fucked off and I grew up.”

  Baxter said nothing, and my patience was almost at zero.

  “Was there something else?” I asked. “You have five minutes left before I have the doorman escort you out.”

  “The real reason we came…” Katrina started. She burst into tears before she could get the rest out.

  I didn’t even know she had tear ducts, let alone that she knew how they worked. She’d always been as cold, and as heartless as our father, something she’d often prided herself on. I was having a hard time believing that her obvious distress was real, and not just another ploy to get sympathy. She wouldn’t find it here. That train flew off the tracks, and blew up the day I packed my bags all those years ago.

  “It’s okay, baby.” Baxter rubbed my sister’s back, and the way he looked at her rankled me. Not because I was jealous, but because I’d wasted so much time on him. He charmed me, with his British accent, and sophistication, and his sandy blond hair and earthy green eyes. Lucky for me that wasn’t enough to hide the ugly that he had lurking beneath.

  “It’s Dad,” my sister sniffled. I stiffened, prepared to tell her I wasn’t interested. I just hoped she wasn’t about to tell me he was in New York. “H-he’s dead.”

  My mouth opened, but anything I wanted to say was cut off when I realized what she’d just said.

  “What do you mean?” I asked dumbly. She’d made perfect sense, but it seemed my mind was refuting the information. My Father couldn’t be dead. That would have been far too merciful for someone like him.

  “He had a heart attack while visiting with friends at Ascot racecourse,” answered Baxter. He continued to sooth my sister – wow, she was really giving this crying thing a good go – and then he looked at me. “We didn’t want to tell you over the phone.”

  I stared at both him and my sister as if they were complete strangers – strangers from a life I’d tried to erase.

  I sat down on the sofa, feeling nothing but incredulity as my sister wailed into Baxter’s sweater. Two thoughts crossed my mind then, the first being ‘since when did my sister act so well?’ and the second, ‘who the fuck wears sweaters in July in New York?’

  “When?” I asked. I looked to Baxter since my sister was a blubbering mess.

  “Sunday. We had to wait for the medical examiner to determine cause of death, and rule out homicide before they released his body. Trina didn’t want to have a service for him before we spoke to you.”

  “I don’t know why you bothered.”

  Katrina untucked herself from Baxter’s chest, and looked at me with disapproval.

  “Our Father is dead, the least you could do is look upset.”

  Now I was starting to recognize my sister.

  “Oh I’m sorry,” I flew to my feet. “Forgive me for not caring that the man who ruined our lives is dead. I haven’t heard from dear ‘ol Dad in five fucking years Trina, and now I’m supposed to grieve?”

  “He tried contacting you,” retorted my sister. “But Mom was hell bent on protecting her precious little Kadence, that he gave up.”

  I walked around the glass coffee table until I was in front of my sister. “You haven’t changed, Trina. You still think Dad was perfect, and that he could do no wrong.”

  “Oh get off your high horse. You are no different! You’ve been dating Caleb Callahan for goodness sake.”

  My hackles rose, and my natural response was to go on the defense. “You know nothing about me and Caleb.”

  “I know that he used you to get to Daddy. I know everything between the two of you was giant lie.”

  Baxter’s eyes widened, and then my sister realized what she’d said.

  “What are you talking about?”

  I looked between them, and the expressions on their faces made my stomach drop.

  “We know everything,” said Katrina. “Your friend Jennifer got in touch with me, and told me you were here.”

  “Jennifer is not my friend.” Panic gripped my throat. “Not even close. What else did she tell you?”

  “She said your relationship with Caleb was a lie, that he was just using you to get to Daddy, something about getting him back here so that they could arrest him for money laundering as payback for having an affair with Caleb’s Mother.”

  I shook my head. “No, that’s not true. Caleb would never do that to me.”

  Yes, my relationship with Caleb wasn’t entirely real, but Katrina had no idea what she was talking about, and neither did Jennifer.

  “Jennifer quit, and has had it out for me ever since I started working at Callahan Industries. Nothing she says is true. She’s a crazy bitch who has a knack for lying.”

  I didn’t want to believe Caleb would do something so reprehensible, but I couldn’t deny that the seed of doubt had been planted.

  Nothing made sense. Perhaps it was too much for me to process all at once. I wanted to dismiss all of it.

  “You need to go.” My voice cracked, but there were no tears. I should have been upset that my Father was dead, or guilty that I was relieved he was gone. I should have been angry that Jennifer was still being a nuisance and dubious that she would sink to a new low by conjuring up an inane story.

  All I felt was tired.

  So very tired.

  “Your Dad’s service is on Saturday,” said Baxter. “I will leave a plane ticket if you decide to come.”

  “I won’t,” I told him.

  “You have to.” Katrina moved towards me, but stopped short. “You have to lay the past to rest, and forgive.”

  How dare she.

  I tightened my hands into fists.

  Too bad I couldn’t hit her – I didn’t want to get arrested for assaulting a pregnant lady.

  “Someday I will forgive you, but right now, all I wa
nt is to forget you. All of you.”

  Katrina wiped her face. “I really wish things were different. You’re still my sister.”

  “We stopped being sisters the day you fucked my fiancé. Now you’re just another asshole I’m related to. Like father, like daughter. Daddy would be so fucking proud.”

  Katrina whimpered, and Baxter tried to say something.

  “Get out.” I gritted my teeth. “And don’t ever come back. I may not have forgiven you, but I’m so ready to forget you.”

  Baxter nodded, and actually had the decency to look apologetic. He held Katrina at his side, and I avoided looking at them. It was only after they’d left that everything started sinking in, and what bothered me more than having my Father die was the possibility that Caleb’s lie was bigger than I thought.

  The question was, could I handle the truth or would I finally buckle under the weight of it all?

  I GLOWERED AT MY phone when it rang for the tenth time. Damn thing woke me up, and I was already running late. After my sister, and Baxter had left, I’d spent two hours on the phone with my Mother and only got to bed in the early hours of this morning. I woke up agitated, and emotionally volatile, so when my phone started going off every few minutes I was not impressed.

  I picked it up off my dresser, and pressed it to my ear.

  “What?” I yelled.

  “Uh,” the person on the other end of the line hesitated. “Is this Kadence Kavanagh?”

  “Yes it is, who wants to know?”

  “My name is Kevin Sanders. I’m a reporter from U.S Weekly.”

  Another.

  Fucking.

  Reporter.

  “If you’re calling for a statement -”

  The pompous asshat cut me off. “I am, yes. Do you have anything to say about the recent rumors regarding your relationship with Caleb Callahan?”

  “No,” I bit out. “I don’t have a damn statement. Now for the love of God, please stop calling me!”

  I clicked end, and when it rang again seconds later, I switched it off. I finished getting ready, and when I walked downstairs I found Alfie waiting for me in the lobby, and a group of reporters standing outside the glass doors of my building.

  “Alfie…”

  “Ms. Kavanagh. I’m here to take you to work.”

  “It’s not necessary,” I replied. “I can take a cab.”

  Alfie stopped me when I tried to side-step him. “Mr. Callahan insisted.”

  “Well,” I stood tall, “You can tell Mr. fucking Callahan I can look after myself. I don’t even know what’s going on right now!”

  I pushed past Alfie, and stepped out onto the street. Camera’s flashed, and paparazzi surrounded me. They yelled questions like “Ms. Kavanagh, did you know about Mr. Callahan’s plans to get your Father back to America?” and “Ms. Kavanagh, is it true that your relationship with Mr. Callahan was fake?”, while I tried to take a few steps closer to the curb. They were incessant, and became a little aggressive by boxing me in.

  Alfie appeared, shoving some photographers out of the way, and took my arm in his hand. Without saying anything, he pulled me towards the S.U.V and in one movement, opened the door and lifted me into the car. I scrambled across the seat, flustered and irritated. Alfie got behind the wheel, speeding into the steady flow of Friday morning traffic.

  “What was that about?”

  Alfie didn’t say anything.

  “Caleb knows, doesn’t he? He wouldn’t have asked you to fetch me if he didn’t.”

  Nothing.

  I grunted, and sat back with my arms across my chest. It was only just past 8a.m. and I already needed a do-over.

  We arrived at the office, and rather than wait for Alfie to open my door, I jumped out. Fortunately, due to the security at Callahan Industries I didn’t have to worry about being hackled by press, so I stomped my way through the doors without interruption. I’d gone from agitated to straight up pissed, and Caleb was going to give me answers.

  The elevator doors opened, and I suddenly felt like I was on show. Every set of eyes in the office followed me, and my colleagues whispered when I walked down the hall. It wasn’t their gossip I was interested in; no matter how worried I was that it wouldn’t turn out to be gossip at all.

  I went to knock on Caleb’s door, and stopped short when I heard him yelling on the other side of the door.

  “What do you want me to do, Liy? Kadence had most likely already heard about it!”

  I flung the door open and found Caleb and Aaliyah scowling at each other.

  “Heard about what?”

  They fell quiet, watching me as if I were a caged animal ready to lose its’ shit. They weren’t far off. I shut the door behind me with a slam.

  “Heard about what?” I asked again.

  “Kadence, we -”

  I lifted my hand to silence Aaliyah. I had a feeling she had more to do with whatever was going on, but I would deal with her later. For now, I wanted to hear it from Caleb.

  “I have been harassed, and hackled all morning by every fucking reporter in the damn city and I’m not in the mood for more games, Caleb. Start talking. Now.”

  Caleb looked at Aaliyah, and then at me. “What have you heard?”

  “That our entire relationship was a ploy to get my Father here.”

  Caleb opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything. Silence was as good as an admission.

  And it hit me like a freight train.

  “Oh God,” I breathed. “It’s true, isn’t it?”

  Caleb stepped towards me. “I can explain.” He sounded frantic, and his face drained of color.

  “I helped you,” I whispered, feeling my throat tighten. “You lied to me.”

  “Just listen to me, Kadence, please.” He reached for my hand, but I snatched it away.

  “Tell me it’s not true. Tell me you didn’t use me to get back at my Father for what happened five years ago.”

  Caleb looked away from me.

  “Why would you do that? I never did anything to you!”

  I was bordering on yelling, but didn’t really care who heard me. Everyone on the other side of Caleb’s office door already knew everything anyway.

  “I made a mistake,” replied Caleb. “I thought it would be easy, but then I fell in love with you and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

  “Tell me? You never should have done this to me at all, Caleb.” Tears spilled onto my cheek. This was worse than walking in on Baxter having sex with my sister. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to recover from this betrayal.

  “You didn’t ask me because of the Board, did you?”

  Caleb shook his head.

  So my sister had been telling the truth.

  And the whole city knew it before I did.

  How stupid could I be?

  “Who else was in on it?” I looked at Aaliyah. “Did you know?”

  Aaliyah nodded, but didn’t say anything.

  Her quietude was also very telling.

  “How could you?” I asked them both. “Has everyone been laughing me the entire time I’ve been here?”

  “No,” Aaliyah rushed out. “Macy and I are the only ones who know about this.”

  Macy? Macy was part of this?

  Suddenly the conversation I’d overheard the day before made sense.

  “Then how does the media know?”

  Caleb looked at Aaliyah, and their silent conversation made my gut tighten.

  “Tell her,” said Aaliyah. “She deserves to know.”

  “It’s a little too late to give a fuck about what I deserve, Liy.”

  She hung her head in what I hoped was shame. She was as much to blame for this as anyone, and in the end, it was me who looked like a fool.

  “Natalia gave the information to the press,” said Caleb. “She got everything from Jennifer. I don’t know the specifics but I’m going to find out, and make this right. Kadence, I swear, I’m going to fix it.”

  I closed my eyes, mustering what li
ttle strength I had left. When I opened them, Caleb’s pained expression gave me that little extra push.

  “You can’t fix it,” I told him. “This can never be undone. I’m afraid your plan was wasted.”

  When Caleb frowned, I continued, “My father is dead. So all of this was for nothing. I wanted to believe you were different, that I’d fallen in love with an honorable man, but do you know what I’ve realized, Caleb? You are no better than my Father. He was a coward, a fraud, and so are you.”

  And then it hit me.

  All at once.

  Like a freight train going full speed on tracks that were coming to an end.

  “He’s dead,” I exhaled, my tone shaky. My breaths came quicker and quicker, until I couldn’t inhale a lung full of air. I was being strangled, my air supply limited. All by the realization that everything was falling apart.

  My Father.

  Caleb.

  Bile slowly made its way up my throat, and I scrambled to make it to the bathroom in time. I ran down the hallway, pushing through the bathroom doors. My knees hit the tiled floors hard enough to bruise, and I heaved until my stomach was empty. Hands brushed my hair out of my face, and with blurred vision, I turned to see Caleb standing above me, his features creased with concern.

  I slapped his hands away. “Don’t touch me.”

  I wiped my mouth, and stood up, using the wall as leverage. I suddenly felt tired, so tired. “You’re a liar, and you used me to settle a debt that was never mine to pay.”

  My fist connected with his chest. Over and over again until I had nothing left.

  “You win,” I cried. “You win.”

  Caleb caught me, but the thought of his hands on me was repulsive. Not one of his touches were honest, or real, and I now felt the marks he’s left in the worst way.

  “Get away from me.” I shoved him with all the might I could muster. “Consider this my resignation, effective immediately.”

  “Kadence, please -”

  “I never want to see you again.” It hurt to say those words, but I was so angry and so hurt, they were all that came out of my mouth. “You’re so good at pretending, so why not pretend we never happened.”

  The look on Caleb’s face when I said those words, and walked away would forever haunt me. But it would have haunted me more if I’d stayed, if I’d forgiven him.

 

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