Natalia looks furious, and she’s quick to jump to her own defense instead of admitting the obvious. She doesn’t want Braelynn, or me.
“That’s rich, Caleb. You’ve been heartless from the time I met you. You’re a fucking hypocrite.”
“That may be so, but I’m the only one here who loves Braelynn. She is my heart.”
Natalia has the audacity to roll her eyes.
“Fatherhood has turned you into a fucking sap. If I’d known this is what you’d be like, I would have made you wear a condom.”
I grab her by her upper arms. “We both know you would have left eventually because if it’s not about Natalia, you’re not interested. And you want to know who I feel sorry for? You. Because you will never see Brae take her first steps, or say her first word. You’ll never be there when she starts her first day at school, or attend her first prom. You won’t be there when she starts dating or when a boy is dumb enough to break her heart. You don’t want that, so why not save me the trouble of kicking you out of our lives and just go.”
Natalia growls. “You’re going to be sorry.”
I drop my hands, and take a step back. “The only thing I’m sorry for is letting you back into my life, and for thinking you could ever deserve being in Braelynn’s.”
“Fine, but once I go, I’m never coming back.”
I huff. “I’m counting on it.”
After Natalia storms out, I sneak into the nursery and take a seat on the recliner. Braelynn is fast asleep, her little lips pouting, her little hands fisted as she dreams. She’s so perfect, so innocent, and the only thing I can do right.
I think back over the last few months, and how nothing has gone as planned. It was supposed to be simple. Easy. Cut and dry. Black and white. But unfortunately, I couldn’t anticipate what would happen when I put it all into motion, and for someone like me, anticipation is everything. I’ve grown my father’s company to what it is today by anticipating what my competitors are doing, and not doing, and what I could do to stay ahead. It’s what makes me so formidable in the corporate world.
And then I fucked it all up with a plan.
A plan to get Henry Archer back on American soil just to see the fucker rot in hell for screwing my mother. They say that rage is blinding, but what they forget to mention is that nothing is as blinding as vengeance.
I thought I had it all figured out, and when I found Kadence living in her car I’d found the perfect excuse to help her. It was ideal – I was going to use her to lure her father home from his hiding hole in the United Kingdom. I’d spent years gathering information, using every connection and resource I could to dig up all the dirt on Kadence’s father. I was going to nail the bastard on money laundering in the first degree, and make sure he never saw the light of day again.
And it was all going the way I wanted it to.
Until I remembered what it was like to love Kadence.
She was fifteen the first time I noticed her. We were at a party at her parents’ place and she was wearing a light purple gown. Her hair was curled, and she reminded me of a porcelain doll. I was twenty-two with the world at my feet, and didn’t bother taking much seriously. I was all about the parties, the girls, and having fun. But then Kadence caught me staring, her bright green eyes alive with inexperience, and virtue. I knew I was fucked, and not in the way I was accustomed to. She was so off limits to me that she shouldn’t have even been on my radar, but every time I attended a party or event after the first time I saw her, I found myself searching the faces in the crowd until I found hers. The moment I did, I thought about her in ways that would have sent me all the way to Hell, and the more I thought about her, the bigger the flames became.
When she turned seventeen, I couldn’t wait anymore, so when I found her lurking on the terrace at yet another social event, I cornered her and kissed her.
I was never the same after that.
Neither was my life.
So I poured myself into work, took my father’s company to new heights, forgot all about my mother and plotted the downfall of Henry Archer. With a bit of help – namely from my Head of P.R, Macy, and my receptionist, Aaliyah – I strategized.
Too bad I ended up plotting my own downfall in the process.
Braelynn stirs, bringing me back to the present moment. I stand up, and gently lift her from her crib. It only brings back memories of when Kadence used to help me, and how she had a natural way with my daughter that more often than not took my breath away. And Braelynn loved her. When Kadence left for good, Braelynn missed her almost as much I did.
Almost as much as I do.
I look down at Brae, wondering how a man like me could ever be enough for her.
“Well, baby girl, looks like your old man has made a real mess of things, but at least we have each other. Just you and me.”
Deep down I wanted it to be enough, but without the love of a good woman, it wouldn’t be.
Without Kadence it wouldn’t be.
“YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT.”
I frown at Aaliyah from behind my computer screen. It’s much too early for her lectures. She’s been yapping like a poodle all week, and it’s starting to grate my balls.
“You might be my friend, Liy, but I’m still your boss.”
“Oh fuck you, Caleb. You and your diplomacy.”
I look up.
“You have one more strike, Aaliyah, and I’ll fire you.”
“Perfect.” She throws her hands up in the air. “Things get tough and you take the easy way out. You’re a damn coward.”
“Excuse me?”
I push away from my desk, and stand.
“You heard me,” replies Aaliyah. “You’re a damn coward. You’ve been miserable for the last week, and don’t even have the balls to fix it.”
Anger makes my blood race. The only person who really knows what the past week has been like is my Father, even if he thinks I’m an ass too. He told me as much when we argued about my ridiculous plan and he made it quite clear how disappointed he is in me.
I told him to join the club because he wasn’t the only one.
“I fucked up,” I tell her. “But you’re not exactly innocent either.”
“Oh no,” she points her finger at me. “You’re not playing that card with me. I told you it was a bad idea, that your plan was going to blow up in your face, but you always know better. And when Macy told you to be honest with Kadence, you still didn’t listen.”
“Why not say I told you so and get it over with, Liy, because that’s pretty much what you’re telling me.”
“No, what I’d like to tell you is that you’re a dumbass, and you ruined the best thing that has ever happened to you.”
I’m quick to tell her, “Braelynn is the best thing that has happened to me.”
“And do you think she wants to grow up seeing you alone? Because Kadence isn’t only the best thing that has happened to you, but she’s also the best thing that could have happened to Braelynn. I know how much your love her, anyone would be crazy not to see that you’re an amazing father, but you also deserve to happy.”
“I am happy,” I snap. “Everything’s fine.”
“You know what,” Aaliyah walks closer to my desk. “You haven’t been fine since your Mother screwed Henry Archer.”
I scowl. “You know better than to bring up my Mother.”
I hate talking about the woman who gave birth to me, because she’s nothing more than that to me. I haven’t seen or heard from her since my Father had her committed for mental illness after her affair, and the last we heard was that she’d checked herself out and married a scuba instructor in the Bahamas. That’s fine with me, the further away from me she is the better.
“Stop being so full of shit, and let it go. It’s been five years, and Kadence’s Father is dead. She doesn’t deserve what you did, what we did, and I think it’s time you made it right.”
“I don’t know how!”
Aaliyah doesn’t even flinch.
“Well figure it out! I lost a friend, and you lost…” she trails off, but I know what she was about to say.
“Everything,” I finish for her. “I lost everything.”
“It’s not too late,” she tells me, looking hopeful. “You can still talk to her.”
I shake my head. “It is too late. She’s moved on, and I don’t want to hurt her anymore.”
I know I shouldn’t have, but I made sure she got a good job at another P.R firm in the city. I try not to check up on her, knowing it’s just another form of self-torture, but knowing that she’s okay somehow makes me feel better about everything I’ve done.
“Are you stupid?” asks Aaliyah. She’s standing with her hands on her hips, brows raised, and that can only mean she means business.
That’s never good for whoever is on the receiving end.
Namely me.
“This is the part where you run after the girl and tell her you love her, and that you’re nothing without her. And when that doesn’t work, you do the whole big romantic gesture thing until she takes you back.”
“And if that doesn’t work?”
“Then you get down on your knee if you have to! You guys belong together, how much longer are you going to ignore that?”
I wasn’t ignoring it, but even I’m man enough to admit I was afraid of being rejected. I would never find another woman like Kadence, and if I’m honest, I don’t want to.
“How sure are you it will even work? When she came to the office last week to get her last check, she couldn’t get away from me fast enough.”
“It’s going to take some convincing,” Aaliyah concedes. “But since when do you back down from something you want?”
I sigh, turning her words over in my head over and over again. “I don’t, but with Kadence it’s different. I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me.”
“Fair enough, but tell me this: would you rather give her up knowing you tried to win her back, or live the rest of your life wondering how it would have turned out? Rejection is a bitch, but regret is the bitch that never leaves. You’ll have to live with the fact that you gave up. Can you do that?”
As much as I want to listen to Aaliyah, I don’t think it would be that simple. This isn’t a movie, and Kadence isn’t some ditz waiting for her Knight in shining armor to show up. I can’t even give her that much because I’m no Knight. I’m just a shithead in tinfoil trying to get his act together.
Amidst all that, I’m also a man in love with a woman.
A woman I’m not sure I want to stop fighting for.
Aaliyah smiles as if she knows what I’m thinking. Chances are she probably does. She’s a little perceptive that way.
“You have an idea don’t you?” She sounds giddy.
“A big romantic gesture,” I reply, feeling the idea take root in my mind. “Let’s just hope it’s enough.”
Caleb
3 Months Later
I ADJUST MY TIE for the millionth time, and glance around the packed ballroom. It’s filled to the brim with socialites, musicians from my record label, investors, board members and some of the city’s most well-known philanthropists. It’s another big night for Callahan Industries, but an even bigger night for me. I just hope it was worth the three months I spent putting it all together.
I greet people who stop to talk to me, all the while searching for one face in particular. Aaliyah told me Kadence was coming, but I won’t believe it until I see her for myself. She hasn’t spoken to Aaliyah in months, so I had to convince Annabelle to help me. It was quite a feat considering she hates me. I don’t blame her. As Kadence’s best friend, she’s protective, and after much groveling, she finally agreed to get Kadence to the event under any pretense necessary. That came along with a threat that if I fucked up again, Annabelle would have my balls on a plate. I didn’t for one second think she was kidding.
My Father, Lionel, steps up to my side, and claps me on the shoulder. “You ready?”
No.
“Is it already time?” I ask. I can’t help that my voice hitches a little. I’ve been doing a shit job of hiding my nerves.
My Father chuckles, and I try not to scowl at him. “It’s going to be fine, Son. You’ll see.”
I snort. “Easy for you to say, old man.”
“You’re my kid,” he retorts. “You can’t fuck this up.”
I try not to smile. My Father has become mouthy in his old age. When I told him about this project three months ago, he took one look at me and knew I was going to follow through, and rather than tell me I was fucking nuts, he supported me all the way. In fact, I remember him calling me a ‘fucking moron’ if I didn’t follow through. That in itself was surprising, but then he told me to let go of our past, and be with whoever made me happy. It was also my understanding that him and Kadence’s mother, Dalia, were both on my side. The fact that they have become friends again after all these years is proof that history is just that. History. If they can move past it, then so could I.
With a bit of luck, Kadence will feel the same way.
Aaliyah scurries towards me, her tight dress stopping her from moving any faster.
“She’s here,” she breathes, looking almost as frantic as I feel. My head whips up, and without hesitation I start scanning the crowd. My heart leaps into my throat, and I turn back to Aaliyah. “Are you sure?”
With an eye roll, she replies, “Yes! Now get up on that stage, you’re already running behind schedule.”
“Okay,” I exhale. I brush my hands down my suit jacket, and start weaving through the guests until I get to the stage. The Master of Ceremonies – some comedian who really isn’t all that funny – introduces me, and like many times before this, I take the stage with a certain amount of arrogance, and bravado. Only this time it really is for show. Sweat beads my forehead, and my pulse jumps erratically, while my shirt somehow feels like it’s getting smaller and smaller.
“Good evening, ladies and gentleman,” I start, gripping the podium with both hands. “And welcome to what will be the start of one of Callahan Industries’ biggest undertakings.”
Kadence chooses that exact moment to step into my line of sight, and for a moment I’m completely robbed of my ability to speak. Hell, it feels like I can’t even fucking breathe.
“Before I get into the details,” I continue, breaking eye contact with Kadence to read my speech. “I want to thank the numerous stakeholders who came on board with this project, and made it a reality. However, there is one person in particular I have to thank for making this all possible.”
I find Kadence again, and lock my gaze with hers. She looks fucking incredible tonight, dressed in a light purple lace gown that makes her eyes pop. Her blonde hair, longer than when I last saw her, hangs in tight curls down her shoulders. She’s a ruby amongst wanna-be diamonds.
“Kadence Kavanagh.”
Her mouth opens, but I continue. “You are the inspiration behind this initiative.”
The ballroom goes quiet.
“Without you, this would have never happened,” I pause, “So without further ado, I would like to announce the Kadence Kavanagh Scholarship Program for girls.”
I can see Kadence’s eyes gloss over as she lifts a delicate hand to her mouth.
“This program is designed for girls, and young women with extraordinary talent and a desire to make the world a better place.”
I try to continue, but then Kadence turns around, and starts pushing her way through the throng of guests. Without thought, or provocation, I jump off the stage and follow her. Being lithe, and as small as she is, she makes quick work of it. I lose her for a minute, but my feet keep moving until we’re outside. I spot her running down the street in this piss cold weather, and pick up my pace.
“Kadence!” I yell. “Please, stop!”
She doesn’t.
How the fuck is she so fast in heels?
My feet hit the asphalt, pounding almost as loudly as my heart. When I said I would
chase my woman, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind, but what the hell. I would run to the ends of the Earth if it meant I got to catch her.
When she’s finally within reach, I grab her arm, and bring both of us to a complete stop.
“Kadence,” my breaths come out in puffs as the cold November air swirls around us. “Stop, please.”
I can feel her body trembling, and I don’t know if it’s because of the cold or because she’s upset.
“I can’t.” It’s barely a whisper.
“Can you look at me?” I ask. I loosen my grip on her arm, and give a gentle pull. I want to see her face, her eyes.
“Why did you do this?” Her head turns in my direction, and what I find is a face strewn with tears, and lined with turmoil. I don’t understand it.
“For you,” I reply, like it’s that simple. I know it isn’t, but when it comes to complications she’s the only one I would ever want to be complicated with.
“Why couldn’t you just let me be, Caleb?”
I shake my head. “Because I love you, Kadence, and I wanted you to know that.”
Kadence response is to huff. “Love? You call it love when it’s taken you three fucking months to manipulate me back into your life? You don’t know what love is, Caleb.” She snatches her hand from my grasp, and turns away from me. “I have to go.”
I’m caught between ‘what the fuck just happened’ and the need to go after her, but I suspect she doesn’t want me to.
So much for my big romantic gesture.
I run through our interaction on my walk back to the ballroom. My desire to go back inside has disappeared, and all I want is to go home. I’m halfway up the stairs when a voice behind me makes me stop.
“So that’s it?”
I turn and see Annabelle a few steps below me.
“You’re just going to let her go?”
I shrug. “I did the whole big romantic gesture, and it didn’t work. What else should I do?”
Annabelle lets out a laugh filled with incredulity, and a hint of derision. She really doesn’t like me anymore, even if I have all the respect in the world for her. She has been there for Kadence, helped her start over.
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