by Lynn, Davida
Thunder turned back to me, a wild excitement on his face, “Your car might be registered with the DEA, but it might be registered through the DEA, meaning it’ll have your info.”
I sucked in a breath that the realization. My identity was within my grasp. It was so close I could almost feel my past absorbing back into my mind. Looking beyond Thunder at the drunken biker in the chair, my hope faded.
“Please don’t tell me we have to do what I think we have to do.” As much as I liked Thunder, and as much as I was loving the biker lifestyle, I couldn’t take any more violence. It did something to me. Every time I watch Thunder beat somebody up or scream at someone, it got me going. It got me sexually charged, and it was so confusing. Thunder could turn me on one hundred different ways; I didn’t need the violence.
One corner of Thunder’s mouth curled up into a half smile, “What do you think we have to do, baby?”
We didn’t see eye to eye on the violence. I got that. I told myself I could live with it, too, but I was getting ahead of myself.
“Well, from everything I’ve seen, my guess is were going to have to raid the Devil’s Branch or some shit. Kidnap some more guys, maybe. I don’t know. Jesus, does somebody always have to get hurt?”
Thunder turned to Jameson, “You’ll have to excuse her, she’s going through a bit of a thing right now.” He turned back to me and went on before I could unload on him, “No. We’re not fighting anybody, we’re not kidnapping anybody, there’s probably not be any violence. Although, I almost wish there was. Fighting is a fuckload easier than talking if you ask me.”
I shook my head, my body still surging with anger, “What the hell are you talking about, then?”
Thunder looked around the room. I followed him. It seemed like everybody except me understood. Even Jameson—drunk and sore— seemed to understand. He turned back to me, “It looks like we have no choice but to sit down and talk with the Devil’s Branch.”
One day later, we were back at the Watering Hole. Trask had called an emergency meeting before the place opened, so it was me pleading my case to thirteen bikers. You’re getting your wish: no violence. It was what I wanted, but I knew the Rising Sons weren’t going to be happy with it. Turns out, they were even more upset than I thought they would be.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. We have to sit down with those shitstain retards because of her? Because of the woman who gets around faster than a rumor?”
I knew I was going to get some abuse. I was as prepared as I could be, but the words still tore me apart on the inside. I knew there was no defending myself against idle talk, but I still had to fight back the tears. Thunder, on the other hand, wasn’t holding back at all. He stood up, his chair flying backwards behind him.
“Stache, you dickless motherfucker. Say one more word against her, and they’ll be the last ones you ever say. I swear to Christ Almighty I will rip the skin off your face and wipe my ass with it.”
In that moment, I took back everything I thought about the violence. When a man defends his woman, there is no hotter thing on the planet. The veins in Thunder’s neck were bulging. Stache looked like he needed to change his underwear. There was just something so sexy and powerful about Thunder.
Trask spoke up, “I have to agree with Thunder. All we’re trading is information. We’re new, and believe it or not, I would like to have a good relationship with the other clubs. Besides all that, Patience, Thunder, and I have come up with a plan that is pretty downright devious, if I do say so myself. I can promise you that we will walk away clean.”
Some other member that I didn’t recognize stood up, “How can you make that promise? What do you know that we don’t?”
Trask looked at me. “I guess I’ll let Patience take this one.”
They were intimidating. They were intimidating as hell, but the plan was solid. The hard part would be convincing the Rising Sons where my loyalties were. I was still having trouble convincing myself, so I knew a group of hard and dirty bikers would take some real fucking charm to convince.
I looked around at all the faces. I couldn’t help but think how many of them Patience had been with. From everything I’ve heard, the number was high. No pressure. I looked around, but Thunder was the only friendly face before me.
Be strong. “Hi, um. You all know me, but I’m sorry. I don’t know you.” Great start, Patience. I hated that voice in my head. She was sarcastic—which I could handle—but she was against me. Patience didn’t want to be unraveled. I could feel her fighting me at every turn. I had to push past it and get to the bottom of who I really was.
“If any of you were here two nights ago, I got into a fight and hit my head pretty hard.” I heard a few quiet laughs from the bikers. They were against me, too. “I lost my memory. All of it. Patience isn’t my real name.”
“Figured that one out, sweetie.”
Instead of turning to the voice, I turned to Thunder, who was staring daggers across the room. I raised a hand and shook my head. This time, I could handle it.
“I don’t know my real name, but I do know my real job. I am an undercover agent with the Drug Enforcement Administration.”
Almost every pair of eyes widened to the point of falling out. I figured that would quell anymore interruptions. “Don’t worry. Doesn’t do much good if I don’t have my memory. It’s not coming back, either. Everyone here knows me as Patience because I was undercover, so there’s no chance of finding out here.”
I could feel the attention focusing in on me. How many illegal activities were going on within the Rising Sons? Was it that bad? Was the Rising Sons worth my loyalty if I was going to have to turn a blind eye to crime?
“The Devil’s Branch knows who I am. They sent two men to try and capture me, but Thunder fought them off. They have my registration info on my car. That’s why we’re here tonight.”
Trask stood up, and I knew my part of the story was over. I sat down. Thunder reached over and took my hand. His gentle squeeze was enough to ease my racing heart. I gave him a loving smile.
“Like I said, we have a plan to deal with the Devil’s Branch. It won’t be violent, it won’t be bloody, and it won’t be public, so get that shit out of your head right now. It’s become my mantra, but after Las Vegas, I don’t want anymore bloodshed. We’re going to sit down with them and discuss some terms. There’s room enough for two groups of outlaws, and there’s some rules both sides can live by. Questions or comments?”
“Yeah, why the fuck aren’t we just cutting her loose? If she’s a fed, why doesn’t she just go to the law and get her life back together. When did we become Amber Alert?”
The biker that asked wasn’t angry, and he asked fair questions. His t-shirt was missing the sleeves, and a dark claw of ink came up and seemed to wrap around his neck. He turned to me, “Really, I don’t mean any offense here, but fuck the Devil’s Branchers. Cap is an ancient asshole who needs to step down.”
Trask cut him off with a laugh. “My old man is nearing sixty. He’s been running Bakersfield for two decades. If he heard you say that, Kyle, he’d beat your ass. Captain runs the Devil’s Branch well, and he’ll keep on doing it until he can’t ride anymore.”
“Just sayin’.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody’s just sayin’. Any other comments?” Trask looked around, but no one else moved to speak. “Good. I’m gonna set up the meeting for tomorrow night. I really don’t think I need to say this, but we are gonna be on our best behavior at this pow-wow, aren’t we?”
There was a chorus of groans, but for the most part I caught things like, “As long as they do,” and “I’ll be fuckin’ toasted, anyway.” Sometimes I wondered how bikers survived day to day.
The place was nearly packed, again. I much preferred the quiet to the packed, cacophonous bar. As if he sensed my unease, Thunder’s hand was at my shoulder. He gave it a squeeze, and something triggered inside of me.
As I tried to shove my way out of the bar, I pressed a ha
nd to my forehead. I didn’t want anyone to see my face, and I couldn’t meet eyes with any of the people there. I don’t know what it was. Everything just hit me at once and demolished me.
I threw open the door to the Watering Hole. There was a chilly late night breeze blowing through California, but that’s not why my body was shaking. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was doing it; it was all compounding on top of me. My unknown identity, my loyalty, and my safety were all major problems on their own. Together, they were conspiring to destroy me. I thought back the emotions in my throat and stared up into the black sky.
“I’m willing to bet this feels a lot like addiction.” I hadn’t even heard Thunder follow me outside. I didn’t turn around as he spoke. “It’s almost like there’s another person inside of you making all of your decisions for you. You know they’re wrong; you know they’re bad, but that other person is stronger. He whispers lies in your ear, and he’s just so fucking charming about it. He convinces you every god damn time.”
Thunder knew me better than I thought. It did feel like there was another person inside of me. Patience was buried deep in my mind, and sometimes I didn’t know if I was making decisions, or she was. I wasn’t even grasping at straws; I was blind on a moonless night, reaching for something that wasn’t there.
After a moment, Thunder sidled up to me, and he put a strong hand around my waist. I turned to see him looking up into the sky, as well. “That voice is still inside of me, you know. Even after I got busted. From the meetings and talking with my sponsor, it sounds like the voice will always be there; for the rest of my days. Once an addict, always an addict they say.”
They say not to judge a book by its cover, but nobody ever wakes up to a naked book with a throbbing cock. I had misjudged Thunder over and over again. He had gone out of his way to help me, and he had put his life on the line to keep me safe. There was no stopping the tears.
It was like Thunder knew exactly what to do. He encircled me in his big, strong arms. He whispered quietly to me and let me cry. Even though I was a total mess, he made me feel soft and beautiful. He didn’t try to fix the problem or distract me. In that moment, what I needed was one big outpouring of emotion.
Before I knew it, I was on the back of his Harley. I had asked him to take me away. I wanted nothing more than for Thunder to distract me in the best possible way. I yearned for him and ached for the thunder between his legs. He drove like a man possessed, and I loved it. As we rode through the streets of Davis, my hands lowered down his chest. I could feel his cock throbbing. Sex was the only thing on my mind, the vibrations of the motorcycle were only making things worse.
When we finally arrived at Thunder’s place, it was a blur. He lifted me in his arms and carried me through the front door. It felt like our bodies never parted until we got to the bedroom. The ride had transformed me into a beast. I tore at Thunder’s clothes, dying to see his perfect body naked before me. “God damn, woman.”
I slid his finger out of my mouth and smiled up at him, “That’s not my name. I want you to call me my name, Thunder.” He knew exactly what I was talking about. I even saw surprise in his eyes.
“Oh, you want me to call you my little fuck machine? Yeah, I think I can do that.”
I squealed with delight as Thunder tossed me around the room with his large hands. He sunk down between my legs and build me up with his tongue. The motorcycle ride had turned me on so much that he didn’t have to work very hard. Thunders pulled an orgasm from inside of me that encompassed my whole body. I stretched my hands up and grabbed onto the headboard as my back arched. The beautiful flames surrounded me, burning from the inside out.
As I came, Thunder didn’t relent. The orgasm seemed to go on indefinitely, and I finally had to grab onto his hair and heave him upwards. I felt so sensitive, and when he replaced his tongue with his fingers, my body began to twitch.
“Oh God, give me a second.” I shudder the words out, trying to hold onto control.
Thunder groaned out his reply like a lion, “Not tonight, baby. Tonight I’m going to bring you to the edge of existence and back.” His tongue slipped inside my mouth, and I felt the entire world disintegrate. Thunder and I became the only two people on the planet, our bodies the only things that matter. One of his powerful arms reached up and grabbed both my wrists in one hand. Pinning me to the bed with my hands above my head, I felt Thunder ready himself between my legs. My face was twisted pleasure, agony and ecstasy fighting it out inside of my body.
He teased me with the head of his cock. I twisted my body, working my hips upwards. It was no use. Thunder was in total control of me, and he was going to make me wait. It felt more like I was on the edge of death. It felt more like I was being denied, but I knew that he was building up to something unbelievable. I open my eyes wide, watching his confident gaze. Two days without shaving had left Thunder with more than a little stubble. In the light of his bedroom, I could make out hints of blonde and gold mixed with his dark brown hair. I looked deep into his eyes, taking in every variation of green.
In that moment, I couldn’t imagine a sexier man to be with. Thunder was the epitome of strength and power. I wanted him to take me and make me his woman in the best and worst ways. His tease set my heart on fire, and I knew I’d have to beg.
My words started as a low moan, “Please, Thunder…”
“Please what, my little fuck machine?”
He had a certain tone of dominance took my breath away. I close my eyes, drinking in the power. When I opened them again, I spoke. “Fill me and fuck me like I’ve never been fucked before. Please, before I shatter.”
He slid inside.
I slept with a depth I didn’t knew existed. The sex between Thunder and I had been indescribable, and he left me unable to speak. I woke up in the early morning, his warmth pressing against my back and holding me tightly.
As dawn began creeping into the bedroom window, I laid awake and enjoyed a bit of peace. It felt like home. It felt like all the problems of the world had been solved, at least for a little bit.
I managed to pull myself away without waking him. The contents of his refrigerator matched every other part of Thunder’s life: it screamed bachelor. He had more cans of beer than condiments, and aside from three pounds of bacon, there was nothing worth looking. I found some instant coffee in a cabinet and began to boil some water.
While I waited for the water to bubble, I sat at his kitchen table and stared out the window. He had a beautiful view of the foothills, but my mind wasn’t on the scenery. My mind was on the three choices. The three choices of where my loyalties lie: Myself, the club, and the DEA.
It hit me that I really didn’t have loyalty to any of them. I didn’t know who I was, my thoughts about the club were mixed, and for all I knew, the DEA had abandoned me. I was alone on the ocean in the middle of a storm. After a good half hour, I came back to the same argument I’d given Trask. The meeting with the Devil’s Branch would be the deciding factor.
Grunts and other waking sounds came from the hallway. A minute later, a sleepy eyed giant drag himself into the kitchen. I couldn’t help but smile watching him try to pull himself from sleep’s tight grasp. “I’ve never seen someone in more desperate need for coffee in my entire life.”
He gave me a sleepy laugh, “Your life is about four days long.”
I nodded, feeling Thunder’s only other coffee mug. “But that changes tonight, sweetheart. Everything changes tonight.”
I didn’t mean for it to come out sounding so ominous. Thunder raised his eyebrows but remained silent. We both knew there was a lot riding on the meeting with the Devil’s Branch Motorcycle Club. It would be a peace treaty on top of all of my personal shit.
Afraid that the black cloud would fall as all day, I changed the subject. “You know, your place isn’t all that much better than mine. It could use a feminine touch, I think.”
“It could use a wrecking ball. Used to be my old man’s place. That’s the only
reason I’m here. I got money stashed away,” Thunder let out a sigh, “Just haven’t gotten around to finding my own place.”