by T. S. Joyce
“Clinton—”
“No, let me say my piece. I checked every crew I can think of, and there are no bachelor groups left. And I won’t make it long as a rogue bear. My animal will go mad fast, and no one will be there to put me down.”
“Clinton, you’re going mad now!”
“And I want you to be the one to put me down when the time comes, Harrison.”
“Fuck,” Harrison growled out, linking his hands behind his head.
“But for now, I have nowhere else to go. I’ve looked. This place is it. This is my last stand.”
“That’s a copout. You aren’t even trying.”
“You’re wrong.”
“So, what do you want me to do? I’m trying to move us forward, but you’re trying to keep us in the hole, man.”
“I don’t want you to claim Audrey.”
Harrison jerked his gaze to Clinton, and the smell of fury wafted to her on the breeze.
“Please tell me you’re joking.”
Clinton shook his head for a long time, gaze on the babbling river under the falls. “Don’t bring her in any closer.”
“For how long?”
“For always. I don’t want her to be a Boarlander. I know what I can and can’t handle right now, and that’s it. The second you give her a claiming mark, this place is wide open to females, and my bear can’t be around couples, Harrison.” Clinton arched his eyebrows, and his voice broke on the quiet “I’m sorry” he murmured before he turned and walked through the trees toward the trailer park.
Shocked, Audrey watched him disappear into the trees. It was impossible to breathe under the weight of the pain that filled her chest. She would never be a Boarlander, would never be Harrison’s claim. She would be destined to stay on the outside here, never really a part of this place, just like the rest of her life had been.
She dragged her horrified gaze to Harrison, but he didn’t smell like fury anymore. The air was heavy with his sadness.
The word “Fuck!” echoed across Bear Trap Falls as he squatted down, hands gripping the back of his neck. He looked as hurt in his middle as she was. Gut punched. She wanted to retch.
She wished she could be angry with Clinton, but now she understood him. He wasn’t being mean because he hated her like she’d thought. There was something wrong with his bear. Something broken, and someday, Harrison would have to put him down.
Clinton wasn’t asking for her to be cast aside to hurt her.
He was pushing her out so he could live longer.
Why did she feel like the earth had just opened up and swallowed her whole? Why did she feel like she’d just been trapped in a dark cave alone? Harrison, her mate, was out of reach. If she begged him to claim her and bring her into the Boarlanders, he would hurt. If she didn’t, he would hurt. His crew was everything to him, and she was causing a huge rift in the make-up.
She’d been selfish in moving into 1010, knowing that not all of Harrison’s crew was okay with her living here. It had been easy to ignore the sadness and anger that Clinton let off because she’d had Harrison. He was the sun blocking out the dark, but with Clinton’s admission here in these woods, she couldn’t ignore the grit she’d caused anymore.
She loved Harrison.
Loved him.
And now she would have to let him go.
Chapter Fourteen
A knock sounded at the front door of 1010. Audrey was already distancing herself from thinking of it as home anymore.
She stood from the edge of the bed where she’d been lost in thought and wringing her hands for the past half an hour.
Maybe she shouldn’t answer it.
Another knock echoed through the trailer. She would’ve feigned sleep, but the bedroom light was on, so she wouldn’t be tricking anyone.
With a quick trio of huffed breaths, she pulled open the door. Harrison stood on the porch he’d built for her, his back to her, hands on his hips. He turned, and the devastated look in his lightened eyes made her duck her gaze. She couldn’t take anymore hurt right now.
“You were out there. I smelled your fur in the woods on my way back. What did you hear?”
“Everything,” she whispered. She ghosted a glance up to him and then back to his scuffed boots.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
Stepping back, Audrey opened the door wider. Harrison kissed her cheek as he passed, and she squeezed her eyes closed so she wouldn’t cry. Sweet mate, worried about her, making sure she knew she was still adored.
“We should talk about what Clinton asked.”
“Will you claim me against his wishes?”
Harrison ran his hands roughly over his hair and wouldn’t meet her eyes, which was answer enough.
“Then I don’t want to talk about it. I just want you to hold me until I fall asleep.” One last time.
Harrison froze, his ice-blue eyes locked on her. “Okay,” he murmured. He squeezed her hand and led her slowly to the bedroom.
Beside the bed, he pulled her clothes off gently, piece by piece, then tucked her under the covers. He turned off the light, and as her eyes adjusted to the dark, the rustle of fabric sounded. The covers lifted, letting in the cool window breeze, and then Harrison slipped in beside her.
He was so warm and strong, muscles hard against her back as he spooned her, and that beautiful, all-consuming feeling of safety washed over her. She closed her eyes just to drink in this moment fully.
His cheek resting on hers, Harrison whispered, “Everything will be okay. You’ll see. I’ll fix it.”
But fixing it would require him to hurt his crew, and she couldn’t have that. Not anymore. The Boarlanders felt like her crew, too, even if it wasn’t true. Hurting one of them continually would wreck her. She and Harrison would both go down in flames, so she had to be strong now. She had to save them both.
He dipped his lips to her neck and kissed her gently, and she responded by arching her back against him in a silent plea. Erase my thoughts for a little while. Let me pretend this was meant to last forever.
Harrison gripped her waist and rocked his hips backward. When he pushed forward, his thick erection rested between her thighs. Good mate. With a sigh, she let go of everything and reached over her shoulder, gripped the back of his neck as he slid his shaft slowly into her.
He didn’t rush, didn’t lose control. Instead, he moved smoothly in and out, then in again with a graceful roll of his hips. His stomach flexed against her back with the pace he set. Sexy, powerful mate. His arms slid around her stomach, and she moaned. They fit together so well—perfectly. His hand brushed down her stomach and cupped her sex as she rolled her hips with the pace he set.
This right here could never be mistaken for fucking. Harrison was making love to her. He was making up for what she’d heard in the woods. He was trying to fuse the break in her heart, and for that, she adored him even more.
But usually, he tempted himself with grazing his teeth against the oversensitive skin on her back, but tonight, all he did was lay a single, soft kiss right where he couldn’t claim her. No teeth, no teasing. It was a silent request that a kiss there be enough. That she be okay with being an outsider. A rogue, as Clinton had called it. That was what she had been, and that’s what she would always be.
Harrison’s grip tightened as he moved within her faster, and he rasped out her name. The pressure built slowly, and her body pulsed around his cock the instant he went ridged against her back and spilled the first shot of his warmth into her. His lips plucked at her neck as he bucked, emptying himself, and her aftershocks pounded on.
As he relaxed against her, she dragged his hand from her stomach to her lips and kissed his knuckles. Snuggling his palm against her cheek, she blinked a single tear from the corner of her eye. She would hold onto this moment forever. She would commit it to memory because it would have to be enough.
She was a lucky one. Some people never found this depth of emotion, and she’d held a worthy man’s heart in her hands for
a blinding moment in time.
“I love you, Audrey,” Harrison murmured.
Her face crumpled in the dark, and she swallowed her heartbreak.
When she was able, she whispered, “I love you, too.”
Chapter Fifteen
An echoing bang sounded down the side of the trailer, and Harrison lurched up in bed. Completely disoriented, he frowned at the unfamiliar room, then down at Audrey, who lay undisturbed beside him.
“Five more minutes,” she murmured in a sleepy voice.
The gray morning light that filtered through the windows on either side of the headboard cast soft shadows against her cheeks. Her dark hair was fanned across the pillow, shining like silk, and her long lashes rested on her lightly freckled cheeks. She looked like an angel come to earth.
The banging sounded again, this time at the front door.
“Boss Bear, you in there?” Bash asked. “It’s time to get ready for work.”
Startled, Harrison jerked his gaze to the clock on the night stand. 6:00 am.
What the hell? He’d slept through the night.
Audrey stretched and let off an adorable sleep sound as she reached for him. Harrison ran his hand over his facial scruff and tried to wrap his head around what she’d done. He hadn’t slept through the night since he was a kid. It hadn’t been physically possible, but Audrey had done something unexpected to him. He’d always thought a mate would make him more restless at night with his heightened senses to protect her, but Audrey had done the opposite. She’d made him feel safe enough to sleep beside her. No middle-of-the-night patrols or moving around the trailer checking the locks on the doors. No getting up at every noise to make sure all was well in the trailer park.
Just…sleep.
The smile that stretched his face felt good.
“Boss Bear!”
“Yeah, all right,” Harrison muttered as he slipped out from under Audrey’s arm and padded to the front door. Bare-ass naked, he cracked the door open, squinting against the dawn light. “I’ll be right out.”
Bash looked troubled, though, and usually he was a morning person.
“What’s wrong?”
“Clinton knows you spent the night here.” Bash shifted his weight uncomfortably. “He’s challenged me for Second. The official kind of fight.”
“Shit. When?”
“Right now. He wants more say in what goes on. Boss, he’s gonna dig his heels in.”
“He already has. Go get ready. I’ll be right there.”
“Oh,” Bash murmured, turning at the porch stairs. “Boarlanders only. Clinton already told Kirk and Mason to stay inside until it’s done. We don’t need anyone else throwing in an extra challenge for rank.” He lifted his dark eyebrows and gave Harrison a significant look before he jogged down the stairs and back toward his trailer.
Great. Clinton could win this. Bash was a brawler, and when he and Clinton fought unofficially, they were neck and neck. But Clinton was working on desperation and had been feeding off anger this whole week. An unstable Clinton becoming Second right now could cripple the Boarlanders even more. Fuckety-fucksticks.
When Harrison went back into Audrey’s bedroom, she smiled in her sleep but didn’t stir so, as quietly as he could, he dressed. The fight would be over in a matter of minutes, and from the sound of her deep breathing, she would sleep right through it, which was perfect. He didn’t want to hurt her worse with the explanation of why she couldn’t watch. She wasn’t a Boarlander, and if Clinton had his way, she never would be.
He didn’t know how he was going to solve that little dilemma yet, but he would figure something out because Audrey was his. His mate, his love, his happiness, the future mother of his cubs—she was everything.
He kissed her hair lightly and made his way out of 1010. With a lengthened gait, he strode for his trailer to get ready fast. Clinton was already stretching his neck out near the park sign beside Harrison’s trailer.
“Thanks for ignoring what I said last night, prick,” Clinton said through a sneer.
“I spent the night with her. Didn’t claim her.” Harrison jogged up his stairs and slammed the door behind him, barely able to contain the urge to Change and rip Clinton limb from limb. Last night, Clinton had seemed lucid in his request, but this morning he was the conductor of the Asshole Express again, and Harrison was really tired of being told how to run his crew.
One of these days, Clinton would push too hard and get booted from the Boarlanders, consequences be damned. A fact which Clinton probably realized. Why else would he be in such a rush to establish himself in the pecking order here?
Clinton was a clever monster, even with a messed up bear, and he was playing a game of chess Harrison hadn’t realized before now. Clinton had been slowly moving everyone into place until he got the exact dysfunctional crew he wanted, and last night had been the last straw. He’d asked too much, and demanded Harrison walk too fine a line.
Clinton had hurt Audrey with his request. Oh, Harrison had heard her crying after they’d had sex, and that wasn’t on him. That was on Clinton and his messed-up bear’s inability to adapt to change.
Never let her be a Boarlander? He couldn’t even wrap his mind around that. She belonged here as surely as any of them did. Harrison didn’t have a solution to keeping Audrey and Clinton both happy, but damn it all, he was going to find one. All he needed was time.
He took a two minute shower, brushed his teeth, and dressed for his shift, then grabbed his hurriedly packed sack lunch off the counter and snatched his hard hat from beside the door before he left. He tossed his stuff into the passenger’s seat of his truck, then jogged over to where Bash and Clinton were waiting.
Both smelled like fur and fury, and matching snarls rattled their chests as they circled each other.
“Keep it clean,” Harrison instructed. “Don’t kill each other. Just establish dominance, and let’s move on. If you keep fighting after one of you gives in, I will intervene and rip you a new asshole, understood?”
“Yeah, boss,” Bash growled out.
Clinton spat in the dirt. “Fine.”
“Harrison?” Audrey asked from behind.
Shee-yit. He turned, hand out to stop her progress. “Stop there.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Clinton snarled. “Boarlanders only!”
Harrison stifled a growl and jammed a finger at Clinton. “Shut up, man. She didn’t know.”
“What’s happening?” she asked, confusion pooling in her soft brown eyes.
“A battle for Second that you weren’t invited to,” Clinton yelled.
“Boss said stop talking to her like that!” Bash hunched, and his dark grizzly burst from him. He roared at Clinton, his breath steaming in the cool morning air. He landed on all fours so hard the ground vibrated.
“Audrey, get back inside,” Harrison said. “Use my trailer.”
Hurt slashed across her face. “No girls allowed again?”
“No!” Clinton barked. “No outsiders allowed! Now scamper inside before I challenge your mate for his rank, too, ’cause I have to tell you, I’m mighty fuckin’ tempted right now.”
“Clinton, enough!” Harrison roared from behind where Bash paced, waiting for Clinton to Change.
“At least I would uphold the damned rules!” Clinton exclaimed, his face going red. He smelled off. Crazy. Unbalanced. Sick.
“Audrey, run!” Harrison bellowed, bolting for her. He had to keep her safe, had to protect her from Clinton’s wrath, because as his massive, blond grizzly burst from his skin, his murderous eyes weren’t on Bash anymore. They were on…him.
Clinton was charging him. Fuck. He forced a Change, pushed it as fast as he could, but Clinton was on him. He got a claw across Harrison’s ribcage, but then with a loud oomf, Clinton was thrown sideways.
With a shake of his head, Harrison winced and stood on all fours, ready to finish this. But Clinton wasn’t after him anymore. No, now that big yellow-haired bear was on the defense
from one snarling, hissing, clawing, pissed-off tigress.
Audrey disengaged and stood sideways as Clinton stumbled back a few paces. His shoulder was bleeding freely, and red was staining Audrey’s side, but she didn’t favor it as she hissed and charged, her graceful body a weapon as she leapt on Clinton’s back and went to town on his neck. Clinton spun and dislodged her, and the fight meshed into a blur of violence.
He had to stop this.
“No,” Bash said, standing in front of him. “Let her do this.”
Harrison looked at him in horror. She was a tiger, much smaller than Clinton’s bear. Sure, she was fast as the crack of a whip and holding her own, but she wasn’t ready for this. Was she?
The sound of Audrey and Clinton’s enraged battle roars shook the entire damned trailer park, and Harrison stood frozen as Audrey controlled the fight, pushing Clinton farther and farther away. He huffed a shocked sound as he realized what his mate was doing. She was battling for him. She was pushing Clinton’s rage as far away from Harrison as she could, and taking teeth and claws to do it.
Holy shit, she was beautiful. This whole time, her entire life, Audrey had been hiding a badass brawler beast inside of her.
Clinton went down hard and froze on the ground. Smart grizzly because Audrey’s long teeth were clamped on his neck. One twitch of her head and she could end him.
In a rush, Harrison shrank back to his human form and called out, “Audrey, don’t! It’s over now. Let him up.”
She hesitated for a terrifying moment, then released him and slunk gracefully back toward Harrison, placing herself between him and Clinton. Brave, protective mate.
Clinton dragged his maimed body upward until all four paws were splayed on the ground. His fur was striping with wet crimson, and he swayed on his feet.
“I retract my challenge for Second,” Bash said, crossing his arms over his bare chest as he leveled Harrison with a steady, bright-eyed look. “Call it.”
Rocked to his core, Harrison dragged his gaze from Clinton to the white tiger with her lips curled back in a hiss, exposing long, razor sharp canines that dripped red.