Ah, so she was talking about young love, the kind one might experience in high school or college. Not the kind of feelings he felt now, as a guy who’d been around the block too many times.
“Tell me about your first love.” He wanted to get to know her better even if it meant hearing about the men she’d loved before they met.
“It was high school, I guess.” She laughed. “Falling in and out of love every other month is kind of a rite of passage then, isn’t it?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat. “I keep forgetting…”
“That I did time?” He didn’t want her to feel sorry for him. He had just been stating facts. But he was glad his time in juvie wasn’t constantly on her mind. He wanted her to think about the man he was now, the man who was falling for her.
“Yeah, you just seem like you have it all together. Sometimes I forget all that you went through.”
“Branson knows me better than anyone,” he said, hoping she understood the abrupt subject change. He didn’t want to talk about his past. He would much rather talk about the present, and future, especially if it meant he could spend more time with her. “Sometimes he thinks he knows me better than I know myself, but he’d be wrong about that. Those years, when I was locked up, I was alone with my thoughts a lot. I got to know myself pretty well.”
“I guess something good came of it then, didn’t it?”
“You could say that.” He was more introspective than most people realized. He liked being alone to think about how far he’d come and where he planned to go. “I came back to Vista Falls because I was ready to exorcise the ghosts from my life.”
“I don’t follow.”
He didn’t expect her to. She didn’t know him well enough yet, but he hoped that would change. “I live with the memory of my brother every day. My parents too, for that matter. I thought being back in this house, where our best and worst memories are, would be good for me somehow.”
“And has it been?”
“I think so.” He’d wandered around the house for days when he first got back to town. The flashbacks had been nearly crippling, especially in his brother’s old room, but it got a little easier every day. He chose his next words carefully, hoping to make her understand. “I realized that I couldn’t go on running from my past. I wanted to face it finally, and this was the only place for me to do that. This house. This town. Where the people think they know me. But they don’t. Not really.”
“Do you want them to get to know you?”
“I want you to get to know me.” He didn’t much care what anyone else thought of him, but he knew she did. Caring what people thought was part of her job, the life she’d signed on for when she was elected.
“I want that too.”
“Good, so that means being straight with you about where I’m coming from.” He’d never felt the need for even partial disclosure in a relationship, so confiding in her about his life back home was a big deal for him. “I’ve been with a lot of women.” Those words tasted bitter on his lips. He hated the sound of the truth. “Too many.”
“Okay.”
He could tell she was waiting for more, but he was suddenly afraid. He didn’t want to lose her before she’d even agreed to give him a chance. “You can’t call it dating really. It’s more like sleeping around.” Her question about him being safe rang in his ears, and he felt compelled to add, “But I’m not stupid, Jules. And I am selective. I won’t sleep with just anyone.” He scowled at his own words. Why did he think she would want to know any of this?
“So you’re telling me you’re a man-whore. Is that it?”
He wanted her to like him, yet he could tell his confession was having the opposite effect. “I’m telling you I’ve never met anyone who made me want to stick around for long. Until now.”
He heard her sharp intake of breath before she asked, “Me? I make you want to stick around?”
“Yeah.” He bit his lip, wondering what she was thinking. “When I invited Branson out here to stay with me, it was because I didn’t know if I could stand to be in this house alone. That’s why I wanted to fill it with people—to banish all the bad memories.”
“That’s understandable, I guess. Given what happened there.”
“But now that Branson is here and I’ve met you…” He swallowed, questioning whether she would think he was crossing some invisible line. “Well, I’d kind of like to be alone, to work through some of this shit and see if maybe, I don’t know, you and I could get to know each other better.”
“Maybe you should tell me more about these women of yours first.”
He should have known that admission would come back to bite him. “There’s not much to tell. There’s no one special back home, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Anyone who might argue that claim?”
He could tell she was too smart to allow him to gloss over anything, especially where other women were concerned. “Are there some women I see regularly? Sure. But they know the deal, that I’m not interested in anything serious.”
“Neither am I. So what are we doing here?”
“Good question. I can’t answer it.” Logically, he knew they were bad for each other, but that didn’t negate the fact that he felt amazing when he was with her.
“I can’t either.”
“Seems to me we have two choices.” He was almost afraid to give her a choice in case she made the wrong one. “We can pretend we never met, go back to the way our lives were before—”
“You really think that’s possible?”
He smiled, grateful he wasn’t the only one drawn in by their chemistry. “No, I don’t. That’s why I’d choose the second option. To forget what other people say and think about us being together and take a risk. See where it might lead.” When his suggestion was met with silence, he added, “I know you’re the one with everything to lose if you agree to that. But don’t think I’m taking this lightly. I wouldn’t ask you to put yourself through that if I didn’t intend to make it worth it.”
She laughed. “Is that a promise of more great sex? ‘Cause you definitely have the market cornered on that.” She fell silent before she whispered, “I’ve never been with anyone who… you know, makes me feel so alive.”
It was a start, one he hoped they could build on. “Does that mean you’ll ignore everything Branson said to you tonight and choose to believe me instead?”
“You’re asking me to trust you.”
“I guess I am.” He knew he was asking a lot. He couldn’t honestly say he’d ever trusted a woman completely, and he didn’t know if Juliette would be the one to change that. “Think you can?”
“I think I’d like to try.”
“That’s good enough for me. For now.”
Chapter Eight
Juliette had been swamped with work the past couple of days, so when Zeke texted to invite her to lunch, she jumped at the chance. She missed him. For the first time in her career, she’d found her mind wandering during meetings. She’d wonder where he was, what he was doing, whether he was thinking about her too.
When she walked into the restaurant, she immediately spotted Zeke at a table in the corner, probably trying to give them privacy from the crowd. He stood as she approached, making her smile when he came around to pull out her chair.
“Thanks for agreeing to meet me,” he said with that sexy boyish grin that was such a sharp contrast to his tough guy persona.
He was a conundrum. Hot as hell. An admitted ladies’ man. A rich and successful computer geek… who’d spent years locked up. She couldn’t let herself forget that. Not because she held his past against him but because she knew the effect it must have had on him.
“Though I’ll admit I was a little surprised you chose this place.” He looked around the crowded diner across the street from her office. “Seems like the whole town’s here… watching us.”
All the more reason for her to send a messag
e. She reached for his hand with a soft smile. “Let them watch. Let them gossip and ask questions. I don’t care anymore. I like you. And I’m happy and proud to be here with you.” She shrugged as he squeezed her hand. “If it means I get fewer votes in the next election, so be it.”
“You’re risking more than that, and you know it,” he said, his voice raspy as he leaned closer. “We’re talking about your career. It’s more than a job to you. Anyone can see that. Are you sure you’re really willing to risk that? Especially when…” He bit his lip, looking reluctant to continue.
“When things between us may not work out?” She wasn’t naïve. She knew it was entirely possible he’d return home in a couple of weeks and forget all about her. But for once, she was willing to take a risk.
“I don’t want to imagine the worst-case scenario,” he said, scowling. “But I couldn’t live with myself if I cost you…” Zeke fell silent when an imposing shadow darkened their table.
“What the hell are you doing here with him?” her father seethed. “Have you lost your mind? Next year is an election year. Do you really think people in this town have forgotten what he did?”
Juliette had known her father would confront her about Zeke eventually. She just hadn’t expected it to be in front of the man himself. She resented that her father felt he had the right to weigh in on her personal life, such as it was, but she knew some things would never change.
Trying to control the situation, she glared at her father. “This isn’t the time or place for this conversation. Drop by my office later and we can talk about it.” She clenched her teeth. “In private.”
“Are you dismissing me?” he demanded, sounding appalled. “So you can cozy up to this—”
“Watch it, Dad.” She forced herself to take a deep breath as the room fell silent. “I’m having lunch with a friend. If you don’t like it, there’s the door.”
Always one to prioritize propriety over all else, Carl Keyes clenched his fists at his sides. “You can count on that visit later, Juliette. This isn’t over.”
Juliette waited until her father had left and the other diners returned to their meals before she said to Zeke, “I’m so sorry. My father can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.”
He took a sip of his water. “I would have told him off myself, but I didn’t want to make things worse for you.”
The fact that he’d considered her feelings over his pride was an encouraging sign. The fact that he recognized she could fight her own battles only made her like him more.
“I appreciate that. But I don’t want to waste our time together talking about him.” She smiled to let him know she really was okay with having to go toe-to-toe with her father. “I’d much rather talk about you. What’ve you got going on?”
He waited while the waitress delivered their meals before he said, “I told myself I’d be taking a break from work while I was here, but it hasn’t worked out that way. It rarely does, to be honest.” He smirked before taking a bite of his burger.
“Ah, so you’re a workaholic too, huh?” Something else they had in common. The more time they spent together, the more she realized they weren’t as different as she’d feared.
“Guilty as charged.”
“It’s not such a bad thing, is it? Loving what you do?”
“Beats the hell out of the alternatives: being unemployed or busting your ass every day to pay the bills. I watched my old man do that for a long time. I swore it wouldn’t be me.”
Zeke’s dad had owned a roofing company, one of only three in the area, which Juliette guessed had kept him pretty busy. They hadn’t talked much about his family. She kept hoping he’d open up to her, but she didn’t want to pry.
“Your dad didn’t like his job?”
He shrugged before eating a French fry. “He didn’t mind it, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t his dream job. It was back-breaking work, especially in the heat. And it took a toll on his body after a while.”
“Did you two keep in touch after you…” She blushed while he waited for her to continue. “Um, left home?”
“It took him a while to come to terms with what happened, but we eventually made peace.” He looked at his plate. “My mother was always there for me though. I don’t think I could have gotten through it without her.”
“Her passing must have been hard for you.” As difficult as it was to live under her parents’ microscope, Juliette couldn’t imagine her life without them. Knowing that he was all alone in the world now must have had an impact on Zeke.
“It was.” He took a sip of his soda. “But there were complications after the stroke, so she suffered toward the end. I guess I should be grateful she doesn’t have to go through that anymore.”
“You didn’t come back here much while she was alive, did you?” She definitely would have remembered seeing him around town.
“I didn’t want her to have to deal with the flack she’d get from her friends and neighbors. She somehow managed to get past all the ugliness and make a decent life after I got locked up. I didn’t want to do anything to mess with that.” His eyes darkened as he stared at his plate of half-eaten food. “I figured I’d already caused her enough pain, ya know?”
She hadn’t expected a heart-to-heart in the middle of a crowded dinner, but now that he was finally willing to talk, she wasn’t about to shut him down. She could see his pain and knew he needed to let it out, though she wondered whether it was safe to push him further. “Did you two ever talk about it? You know, what happened that day… or when you were locked up? What your life was like—”
“I didn’t see any reason to whine to her about it. It’s not like she could have done anything to help me.”
So he’d kept it all inside, tried to deal with it all on his own. “Have you ever opened up to anyone about it?” she asked, pushing her food around on her plate when she realized she’d lost her appetite.
“Branson knows what happened, but he’s basically the only one. It’s not something I usually talk about to anyone, not even my closest friends.”
Yet he was confiding in her. She needed him to know how much that meant to her. “Thank you,” she said, reaching for his hand. “I know this isn’t easy for you, and it really means a lot to me that you’re willing to let me in like this.”
“With you, it’s not really a conscious decision,” he said as his eyes roamed her face. “I don’t know what the hell it is about you. I just can’t seem to keep my mouth shut. Everything I’m thinking or feeling comes pouring out, good or bad.”
“I like that you’re not guarded with me.” At least he didn’t seem to be.
“I like that too.” He laced his fingers through hers and held their hands up, elbows resting on the table. “Makes me feel like maybe I’m not as messed up as I thought I was. Maybe it is possible for me to…”
“To what?” She didn’t want him to shut down now, especially when she sensed he had something important to say. “Tell me.”
“I don’t know, have a real relationship.” He peered at her through his thick, dark lashes. “Maybe.”
Everyone had their demons. His were darker and scarier than most, yet he was brave enough to try. She had to be willing to do the same, didn’t she?
“A real relationship, huh? What does that look like exactly, Hollywood?” She grinned before withdrawing her hand.
He chuckled. “I’ll be damned if I know.”
“Then I guess we’ll just have to figure it out together.” One terrifying step at a time.
***
Juliette was still daydreaming about Zeke’s mind-numbing kiss when he walked her back to her office after lunch. They’d been alone in her office, so there was no risk of wagging tongues watching them there, but they had left the diner holding hands, which she knew would be fodder for the gossip mill. Juliette didn’t often walk around town holding a man’s hand, especially in the middle of a work day.
“What the hell are you thinking?” her father demanded, s
lamming her office door behind him.
So much for her sweet memories of Zeke. “I’m thinking I have a ton of work to do,” she said, gesturing to her desk. “And I don’t have time to discuss my love life with you, which incidentally is none of your business anyways. I’m a grown woman. I’ll date anyone I want, and if you and the narrow-minded people in this town don’t like it, that’s too damn bad.”
Her father narrowed his eyes. “Have you forgotten that those are the same people who voted you into this office? They took a chance on you, young lady. You had no experience or—”
“I think I’ve more than proven myself,” she said, trying to remain calm. Her father usually got angry enough for both of them during these little exchanges. Someone had to keep a level head. “I’ve done a good job for the people of this town. But they don’t own me. Nor do you.”
“Why him?” He paced, scowling. “Why the hell did it have to be him? Are you doing this to punish me for something?”
“I know this may shock you, Dad, but not everything I do is about you.” She fired up her computer, turning her back on her father. She knew that wouldn’t be enough to end the conversation, but she hoped to send the message she didn’t wish to give this topic any more of her time or attention.
He walked around the desk so he could see her face. “I would never have suggested you run for office if I knew you couldn’t be trusted.”
“Excuse me?” Her father had said a lot of hurtful things over the years—many that had stayed with her—but he’d never claimed she wasn’t trustworthy.
“You heard me.” His face was red, indicating his blood pressure was likely in the danger zone. “I trusted you to make good decisions, to take this job seriously.”
She took a deep breath, knowing she should try to diffuse the situation for the sake of her father’s health. He not only had high blood pressure, for which he took medication to control, but he’d had a heart attack last year. The doctor kept advising him to avoid stress.
Coming Home (Vista Falls #4) Page 8