by Isobael Liu
“I like having you in my arms.” His words were quiet and said rather simply, but it was enough to cause her heart to stutter.
He smiled down at her and she stared up at him, eyes wide. She remembered what had happened in her room, in her bed, before they were interrupted, and it caused her breath to catch, her heart to quicken. God, he had a beautiful smile. His eyes were like molten gold, the way he looked at her. They burned for her.
It was more than lust, how he made her feel deep down inside. She knew she’d never have the chance to have a normal relationship or a family of her own because of her secrets.
Along came Matthias, who woke up those slumbering emotions. Those sensations defied her wishes to remain buried, rebelled against their imposed imprisonment, and demanded things she wasn’t sure she was ready for.
She had no words for how he made her feel. Instead, she connected their minds, shared with him her thoughts, her emotions. Her desires made themselves known to him first and foremost. He stumbled a couple of steps before quickening his pace. She sent him her fears next.
“I’m afraid, Matthias. There’s so much going on and I’m not sure if I’m ready.”
He stopped walking. “Do you trust me?”
As curious as it was, she did trust him. Something about him overcame her survival instincts. While he could be a pain in the ass, and she had no problem fighting him if need be, she trusted him.
“Yes. I trust you.”
His arms tightened and he pulled her up to his mouth to kiss her. Her eyes closed as their lips met and she could have sworn fireworks exploded. Lilian must have sent the thought to him because he gave a soft chuckle before he deepened the kiss, nearly devouring her mouth with his. She squirmed in his arms as she tried to turn her body into him, but the way he held her wouldn’t allow for it. She whimpered in frustration.
“I do hope you two aren’t going to progress any further than making out in public.” The words were spoken with a wry tone.
Lilian felt as well as heard Matthias’s growl as Tiberius interrupted them. She broke the kiss to turn her head and glare at him.
“Don’t you have anything better to do than to bug us?” she snapped at him.
Tiberius lifted a brow and glanced around. “Oh, sure, but do the others?”
Lilian blinked in confusion and looked around to see what Tiberius was talking about. Her face grew hot when she realized it wasn’t just Tiberius watching, but everyone present had stopped to watch in amusement and interest.
Well, except Anoria, who was glaring those daggers at her, yet again. She would have smiled but too mortified, she turned her head into Matthias’s chest to hide.
“Maybe your guest would like to refresh herself before the evening meal?” Anoria suggested.
Matthias rumbled in his chest before he replied. “Good idea, Anoria. Thank you.”
He set her down on her feet.
“Maybe Mother has something you can borrow to wear.” Matthias started to lead her toward the main building.
Anoria hurried to speak. “I could loan her some clothing. I might have a few items she can borrow.”
Matthias paused but Lilian knew she’d probably end up wearing something horrible, or worn out in order to be embarrassed or laughed at.
“Actually, I’d feel more comfortable wearing a dress belonging to your mother, Matthias. I’d be honored if I could.”
Lilian glanced at Anoria. The woman looked like she had sucked on a lemon and was trying not to spit it out.
Matthias nodded. “I think she’d like it.” He led her off again.
She smiled at Anoria before she turned away. In doing so, she saw Tiberius’s expression. He was fighting not to smile, let alone laugh. He caught her gaze and winked before he headed off, shoulders shaking in silent laughter.
When they reached the entryway of the main building, Matthias took her to the right and around the outside of the building. From here, she could see doors spaced out along the building.
“These are personal suites of families. Mother has the largest, as befitting her station.”
Lilian glanced at him. “Why doesn’t she live inside?”
“She didn’t want to,” he replied. “I offered her Tiberius’s suite, and one of the guest rooms, but she wanted her own outside.”
He knocked on his mother’s suite door when they arrived and a young woman answered it.
“Alpha,” she said, bowing her head.
“Diana, is my mother in?”
“No, Alpha. She’s visiting.”
Lilian wondered who Helena was visiting as the reply seemed to be left hanging.
“This is Lilian. Would you see if my mother has some clothes she might borrow?”
“Of course, Alpha. I would be pleased to do so.”
Matthias smiled and turned to Lilian. “I’ll be back to get you after you’re done. Diana will help you choose something.”
“Sure, abandon me.” Her tone was teasing though.
Matthias leaned in and kissed her before whispering, “I’ll make it up to you later.”
Before she could respond to his parting words, he turned and walked away.
* * * *
Diana was a shy young woman, she found out, and didn’t speak unless spoken to first. After Lilian had showered, Diana helped her dress in what was called a peplos, made from two rectangular pieces of cotton cloth sewn together on both sides with the open sections at the top and folded down in the front and back. Diana pulled it over Lilian’s head, shimmying it down her body. It was then fastened with two gold pins at the shoulders. This formed a sleeveless dress, belted with a golden cord at the waist, beneath the draped, folded over fabric. She eyed herself in the mirror, unsure of the gown as it bared her shoulders and arms.
“You look lovely, Lady,” Diana said in her soft voice as she finished with Lilian’s hair.
“I’ve never worn anything like this. Are you sure I look okay?”
Diana’s smile was soft and sweet. “The Alpha will be speechless,” she said. “I doubt he’ll be able to take his eyes off you.”
Lilian blushed and fiddled with the material.
“Would you like some jewelry to wear as well?”
Lilian’s eyes widened as she gasped in horror. “Oh, no, I couldn’t! It wouldn’t be proper for me to borrow someone’s jewelry. What if something happened to it? I wouldn’t be able to replace it.”
Diana looked confused, but hurried to reassure her. “It’s all right, Lady. It’s all right.”
“Is something wrong?” Matthias asked.
Lilian turned to look at him. He was standing in the doorway of the bedroom. She watched as his eyes widened and jaw dropped. Diana giggled from somewhere behind her.
“It’s okay, right?” Lilian asked.
He stepped closer, his eyes roaming over her. “I’ll have to beat your admirers off with a stick.”
She laughed. “You’re the only one I have.”
Matthias lifted a brow and smiled. She wasn’t sure she liked that smile. It seemed as though it was made of trouble.
“The Lady didn’t want any jewelry,” Diana said.
Lilian cringed. “I don’t want to be responsible for them.”
Matthias seemed to be thinking over something, and nodded. “I understand.”
Lilian smiled. “Thank you, Diana. You made me look wonderful.”
The young woman blushed and looked down. “It was my pleasure, Lady.”
Matthias took her by the hand and led her out of the suite. One thing she continued to notice Matthias was a hands-on type of man, touching her, holding her, standing close to her. She wondered if it was a wolf thing.
“Yes,” he said.
She looked up at him. “Yes, what?”
“It’s a wolf thing,” he said with a smile.
“How did…” she started.
Matthias tapped his temple with his free hand. “You’re still here.”
Lilian blinked in surprise, having forgotten
they were still mentally connected.
“It’s actually nice,” he said. “I like having you here.”
She knew he didn’t mean just physically.
“I rather like your home,” she said. “It’s interesting. Different.”
“We’re a curious mix of traditional and modern, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, that’s putting it mildly.” She grinned.
Matthias led her to a raised platform where carpets and blankets were set down and pillows strewn about. Helena, already seated, had some people around her. She smiled at her and Lilian returned the greeting.
Matthias helped her to sit before he sat beside her, his side against hers. Once seated, people began to find places of their own and a bonfire was lit in the center of the courtyard, in a lined fire pit. When the fire crackled and burned, two people approached. A man carried a large basin and a woman carried a towel. The man knelt before Matthias, who flicked his fingers toward her. The man blinked, shifted his position, and presented the basin of water to her.
Lilian glanced at Matthias in question.
“To rinse your hands,” he whispered.
“Oh.” She smiled with embarrassment as she dipped her hands in the water. The woman presented the towel to her and she dried her hands as she watched Matthias rinse his hands. When he finished, the towel was offered to him and the couple moved on. Only the people seated on the raised platform were furnished with basin and towel, and once everyone had rinsed their hands, the food was served.
Matthias was served first as befitting his station. A long plate was placed on the blanket before him and as the food came by, it was shown to him. He’d either nod if he wanted some or shake his head. By the time the plate was filled, she was laughing and wiping tears of amusement from her eyes.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, grinning.
The others were giving her odd looks, which she ignored.
“No offense, Matthias, but I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. I have the urge to pinch myself to see if I’m awake. If you and some of your people weren’t wearing jeans and t-shirts, I’d wonder what drug I was on. This is very surreal.”
“No offense taken. It’s a bit much, I know, but it’s a tradition we like to keep. It reminds us of our past.”
When put that way, a ripple of pain sliced through her gut and tears rose in her eyes. She didn’t have a connection with her past. She had nothing in the way of a family past.
Matthias leaned in and brushed his lips against her temple. “Don’t be sad.”
Lilian gave him a brief smile. “I have no family, no family past. I have no idea where I came from.”
“Your mother never told you?”
“I was ten when my stepfather killed her. I didn’t even know I wasn’t her biological child until later. No one knows where I came from.”
Matthias moved a long plate, trencher, and set it closer to them. He picked up a slice of meat and offered it to her. She gave him an odd look, but when his expression turned to challenging, she leaned in and took the offering. He smiled and moved closer to whisper.
“Roasted lamb, seasoned with herbs and sea salt.”
“It’s good.” She chewed the morsel as he chose another and popped it into his mouth.
They watched one another as they ate. Matthias fed her and she reciprocated by feeding him morsels. He always suckled on her fingers, cleaning them seductively as she pulled away. By the time they were done eating, she was flushed, her body heated and the burning flames of desire raced along her veins. She didn’t need to read his thoughts to know what he wanted of her. Of course, whatever he thought and felt, amplified her desire.
When they were finished eating, music began to play and she looked away from Matthias to watch the musicians.
“Matthias!” Tiberius called.
Both Lilian and Matthias turned their heads toward him.
Tiberius approached them and handed Matthias a small, stringed instrument. He winked at her and chuckled as he walked away. Matthias growled.
“You’re such a baby,” she said.
He smiled at her before he looked down at the instrument. He began to strum it, and plucked at the strings.
“I dream of you. Every whisper which floats on gentle breezes brings your name to me. Every face which passes by brings you to memory.”
His voice was soft and sensual and the words were spoken in a seductive tone as he played the little instrument. He didn’t sing the words, as the music was more of a background accompaniment to accentuate the mood.
“Every dream I dream is a dream of only you. Every touch we share brings pleasure anew.”
Lilian leaned in and brushed her lips against his. He smiled at her and nuzzled her cheek before murmuring near her ear.
“Would you like to go for a walk with me?”
Lilian smiled and nodded. Matthias rose to his feet and extended a hand to her. She took it and he helped her to stand. She adjusted the peplos as he started to lead her off.
She could hear the faint whispers of the others and while she couldn’t pick out what they were saying, she knew they were talking about her and Matthias. She chose to ignore them. She didn’t want their gossip to ruin what she was experiencing right now.
Unfortunately, they didn’t get very far before the mood was ruined with the scream of a child. Matthias and Lilian spun around to look for the cause and they both caught sight of the young girl, holding her hands out in pain, screaming and crying.
“Go! You can heal her!” She heard the stag’s voice in her head.
Lilian didn’t hesitate. She released Matthias’s hand, gathered up the peplos so it wouldn’t tangle about her legs, and ran toward the girl with Matthias right on her heels. She pushed her way through the gathering people and dropped to her knees before the injured child. The smell of burnt flesh was strong. She would have normally shied away, but she reached out and took the child by the wrists, holding her with a firm grip.
“Connect with her, cease the pain.”
Without hesitation, she sought the girl’s mind, delving deep. Pain, sharp and stabbing, hit her hard when the two minds connected. She gasped aloud, tears spilled over her eyes and down her cheeks, but she remained locked with the girl. They shared the pain for a few moments before Lilian found the pain receptors and blocked them, giving them both relief.
A bright, white mist crept and seeped around her and the young girl until it engulfed them. So intent on helping the child, she almost didn’t hear the gasps from around her. She only noticed it in a distracted manner, but knew it had to do with her somehow. Still, she didn’t let it draw her out of healing the girl’s burnt hands. From her memories, Lilian learned the child had been running after her brother and tripped. The wind had been knocked out of her; she couldn’t move out of the coals fast enough to avoid burning her hands.
The white light soon surrounded the two of them.
“Concentrate! Heal her hands.”
A healing warmth traveled down Lilian’s arms into her hands, and from there, into the girl’s wrists and hands. As the two of them watched, the blisters healed, the open wounds closed, the skin fused, until her hands were as perfect as they were before the fall, albeit sooty.
When she finished, she withdrew from the girl’s mind and released her wrists. The white aura faded and with it went her strength. She was weak and exhausted, and when she glanced up, became uneasy with everyone staring at her. She staggered to her feet and Matthias reached out to help her, but she waved him off.
Without warning, she was shoved from behind and fell, too weak to try and keep on her feet.
“What did you do to Katherine?” a woman’s voice demanded.
Anoria .
Before she could reply, or even try to stand, Matthias scooped her up. She could feel the tension in his body as he held her.
“How dare you lay a hand on her,” he snarled at Anoria.
Some of the people moved back a few steps, eyeing Matthias wit
h wariness. Anoria was too angry to notice or care, it seemed. She pressed on.
“What did she do to my sister? How dare she touch her!”
Lilian was too exhausted to even defend herself. She leaned her head against his chest and sighed. At once, Matthias held her closer to him, his stance became protective, possessive, and he gave an audible growl, in warning. Anoria went silent.
Obviously, Anoria’s sense of self-preservation is working just fine.
With a glare, Matthias turned and carried her toward the compound’s living quarters. People moved out of the way without a word, without looking at Matthias. She noticed they kept their eyes down in deference to his authority, or maybe his anger.
“Matthias,” she whispered, “I can walk.”
He hesitated and then said, “I know.”
“So let me walk.”
“No. I like you in my arms, and this way I know you’re going to get to where you need to be without someone bothering you. Right now, there are too many questions and you need your rest. You’re exhausted. You’re pale and you’re trembling.”
Now that he had pointed it out, she could feel herself shaking.
“They’re going to think I’m weak,” she argued. “I don’t want to be thought of as weak here. Not with you all being Lupine.”
“Lilia mea, I doubt anyone will think you to be weak, not after what you just did.”
She heard the amusement in his tone, and said, “I’d hit you if I wasn’t so exhausted.”
“You can fight with me later, baby. Right now, I want you to get some rest.”
“You’re too bossy,” she murmured against his neck.
He chuckled and she closed her eyes. She trusted him. She knew he wouldn’t allow anything to hurt her while he was near.
Matthias carried her into the large palace-like house and to the guest room appointed to her. Already drifting to sleep, she sputtered a weak protest when he started to undress her. He murmured soft reassurances and tucked her into bed. The covers were placed over her and she snuggled into the softness, allowing herself to fully sleep.
* * * *
Matthias watched over her as she slept. She seemed to be sleeping quiet, nothing in the way of fitful dreams or nightmares.
He knew she was more than she seemed, but either she was good at keeping her secrets, or she didn’t know herself. He was aware she was trying to protect herself from him, and protect him from the Custodes Secreti, she was his mate. He’d known it from the moment he had kissed her outside the diner.