Forever Fredless

by Suzy Turner

  'Let’s have another barbecue,' yelled Carly who slowly pulled herself out of the pool, before diving back into the deep end.

  When she re-surfaced like a sleek dolphin she continued. 'That way, we don’t have to do anything, we can stay around the pool for the rest of the evening,' she giggled.

  Agreeing, Tony and I volunteered to pop into town to buy a few groceries and food for the night’s feast.

  'Don’t forget the wine!' shouted Anna and Jo, half an hour later, after we’d dried ourselves off and were heading towards the jeep.

  'As if!' I yelled back.

  Laughing, we hopped in as Tony started the engine and we drove down the winding driveway, slowing to a standstill while the grand gates opened.

  As we ambled around the local supermarket, picking up tomatoes, chickpeas, potatoes and a host of other stuff for our dinner, Tony’s mobile phone rang.

  I couldn’t help but hear snippets of conversation.

  I guessed it was his wife. She was clearly not happy. Embarrassed, he looked at me, raising his eyebrows, reminding me of a naughty schoolboy being scolded by his teacher.

  “No don’t be ridiculous... how can you say something like that? It’s just business... honestly Zara.... no... look I’m sorry... look... I’ll be back in a few days... let’s talk about it then. Okay? Yes, alright. See you then. Of course.... bye.'

  I looked as if I hadn’t heard a word but obviously failed miserably.

  'My wife,' he said.

  I smiled. ‘Is everything okay?'

  'Yes. Fine. Fine,' he answered, unconvincingly.

  I didn’t really want to pry so I said no more and we continued shopping. We carefully chose a few bottles of wine and a crate of beer before paying and loading everything into the jeep.

  As we hopped in, Tony turned to me with sad eyes.

  'Actually, everything isn’t okay. I know it’s not my place to talk to you about such things but I do feel that we have become good friends over the past few weeks.'

  I nodded and he continued. 'It’s just that things haven’t been quite right between Zara and me lately. Admittedly, it’s one of the reasons that I was so keen to come here with you guys. I needed to get away for a while and sort my head out.'

  Again, I nodded, not saying anything.

  He hesitated for a moment, before shrugging his shoulders. 'Jesus, I’m so sorry, Kate. I shouldn’t be pouring my heart out to you.'

  'Tony, please don’t be embarrassed. I'm actually quite a good listener, you know. Or so I've been told,' I laughed.

  He smiled, relieved.

  'Thank you. I guess I needed someone to talk to. All my friends in London are ‘our’ friends, so it’s very difficult to talk to them. Zara and I have been together since we were very young. Thirty odd years is such a long time, really. I guess I’m just feeling like I may have missed so much,' he shrugged, staring ahead.

  'You may think you’ve missed so much but look at it from the other side. Look at all those wonderful years you've spent together. If you hadn’t got together back then, you might have spent years searching for her, it could have been thirty years wasted. It could have been thirty years of kissing a lot of ugly frogs before finding your princess. Yet, here you are, thirty lovely years all spent with the woman of your dreams. Thirty years of fantastic experiences and memories. Don’t look back to what you might have missed, Tony. Look forward to everything you still have together. Do you love her?' I asked.

  'I’ve always loved her, it’s just that I’m not sure that I am still in love with her, you know?'

  'When was the last time just the two of you took a holiday together?' I asked.

  He looked around, his mind ticking.

  'You know, I can’t even remember.'

  'Perhaps there lies the problem. You’re not spending enough time together. Tony, think about Zara. Think about the first time you fell in love with her. Think back to how she made you feel. Think about how she must be feeling this very moment. She probably thinks she's losing you. Don’t lose something that is worth keeping, Tony. Grab it with both hands and hold on tight. You never know what will happen in this life so you should treasure every moment. Every single damn moment,' I said banging my fist on the dashboard.

  I looked up to see tears in Tony’s eyes, just as mine began to well up too.

  'Jesus, Kate, you’re right. You’re so very right. I’ve been such a fool. Thank you. Thank you!' he said as he leaned in and gave me a hug.

  Together we laughed and cried, as passers-by looked on as if we were mad.

  'Come on, let’s get back. The others will be wondering what’s happened to us,' I said as he started the engine and we eventually pulled away from the car park.

  'Kate?' he asked, startling me out of my little daydream for a second.

  'Hm?' I answered.

  'You know everything you’ve just said?'

  I nodded.

  'I hope you don’t think I’m prying into your life now but it just sounds like you've loved and lost. You really don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but, just to let you know that I’m here if you need a shoulder, okay?'

  Had I been that obvious? For a split second I panicked, not sure I wanted anybody else to know about Fred, but I suddenly realised I was fed up of having such a big secret weighing me down. I was finally ready to open up. In fact, I decided that I was finally, just maybe, ready to think about moving on.

  Woah there! Had I just thought about moving on? Crikey. This was some day we were having.

  I chuckled and Tony looked at me, smiling, 'what’s so funny?'

  So I told him, explaining everything about my beloved Fred.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  It was so miserable and grey considering it was July. The drizzle was coming down at a constant pace as I reminisced about those memorable days in the Azores, where the sun had been scorching hot and the skies glorious and deep blue.

  A lot had happened in those last few days.

  Not only had I poured my heart out to Tony, but I'd told the rest of the group too. They were my closest friends and they deserved to know the truth about me. They'd often asked why I'd never felt the need to settle down and I'd said nothing, keeping Fred a secret, so close to my own heart for years. I'd felt oddly liberated, almost as if I could finally move on with my life.

  But just as I was finally starting to think about moving on, they'd tried to encourage me to continue searching for him. Alone, I'd tried and failed. Now they wanted to help. They honestly thought that he could be found, bless them.

  But even though I'd love nothing more than to find him, I certainly didn't want to start a nationwide manhunt, and had expressed my concern at some of their more outlandish plans, including launching an appeal in the media!

  I'd thanked them for their enthusiasm but turned them down. I had to put my foot down somewhere.

  So the subject hadn't been mentioned again, though I knew it wouldn’t be forgotten. I now had a group of friends determined to find him. What had I started? Had I created some kind of monster?

  This wasn’t the only thing to have come out of those last few days of our holiday. Julianne had insisted I write a ‘Real Life’ feature for Liberty magazine, telling everybody about my extraordinary story.

  I only agreed provided I could remain anonymous. I didn’t want everyone to know that I was now a millionaire. It was unnecessary, or at least I thought so anyway.

  She had also taken some stunning photographs of Casa Linda that would be published alongside it. 'Especially as we can’t use any photos of you,' she'd pouted with a wink.

  The other major thing that had happened was Liz and Jorge's engagement. It was the quickest romance in history but it was clear for all to see: they were completely and utterly in love. Even an idiot could see it was real.

  Due to work commitments, Liz had returned home, where she would stay until a replacement beautician was found for the salon where she worked. It also allowed her to tie up any other
loose ends before moving to her new life on the island, with the man of her dreams.

  We were a little concerned. She was moving from the UK, a buzzing place with people everywhere, with a multitude of things to do, to a little island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. It’s the most amazing place for a holiday, but to live there? She was so brave to even consider it.

  What we do for love, I sighed to myself as I crossed the road, avoiding a massive puddle that was spreading fast towards the pavement. But I wasn’t quite quick enough and, just as I reached the other side, a large lorry sped past and soaked me from head to foot in dirty brown rainwater.

  I screamed silently and hurried out of the way before it happened again. At least I was on my way to the office, where I knew there would be something I could change into.

  'Oh. My. God. What on earth happened to you?' yelled Jasmine, the receptionist, as I pushed open the big glass door to the Liberty office.

  'Bloody lorry just soaked me,' I muttered, shivering.

  'Oh, you poor thing, go straight into the bathroom and I’ll get you something warm and dry to put on,' she said in her warm motherly Caribbean tones. Although Jasmine was only tweny-three, she had a real maternal side to her and loved caring for people. Whether we wanted it or not. In this case, I did.

  'Thanks Jas, you’re an angel, you really are.'

  As I plonked my bag down on the sink in the ladies’ loo and stepped out of my dripping wet long pink denim skirt, which was no longer pink but a nasty shade of brown, in walked Julianne, cuddling Beckham.

  'Jasmine just told me what happened, you must be freezing! They’re bloody arseholes, those lorry drivers. They don’t give a damn about us poor souls on the pavements,' she screeched, frightening the cat so that he catapulted out of her hands into the nearest sink basin, before hopping to the ground and purring by my bare legs.

  'Beckham loves me though, don’t you darling?' I asked, bending to stroke him.

  But as soon as the door opened, he bolted.

  'I guess not,' I said, feeling sorry for myself.

  'Here you go, sweetie,' said Jasmine as she handed me a lovely thick towel and a fuchsia coloured Juicy Couture tracksuit in a size twelve.

  'Jasmine, you’re a star. I’m so glad we keep a stash of clothes in the office for times like this,' I said, feeling refreshed and much more comfortable.

  'Thank you, Jasmine,' Julianne said as we exited the bathroom. Jasmine nodded happily and rushed back to her desk, where the phone was ringing. I was just about to sit at my own desk when Julianne asked me to join her in her office.

  'Can I get a coffee first?'

  She laughed. 'Of course. Can you bring one for me, too?'

  With two cups of the hot stuff, I pushed open her door and sat down, joining a number of cats who purred in various hiding places; bookshelves, waste paper bins, handbags. These cats were wonderfully good at finding the perfect spots to curl up and go to sleep.

  It certainly is a cat’s life.

  'I just thought we’d have a little chat about your article for this month,' said Julianne as she closed the lid to her laptop and looked up.

  I nodded, taking a big gulp of hot coffee at the same time, which led to a bit of a coughing fit. Julianne waited a moment before realising I was literally choking, my face becoming more and more red.

  She jumped out of her chair, sending it spinning behind her, knocking the waste paper bin over, which in turn sent a cat hurtling, meowing as if it had been kicked.

  She rushed to my side and patted me gently on the back but nothing seemed to help.

  She pressed the intercom on the telephone, panicking 'Jasmine, Jasmine! Hurry. Kate’s choking and can’t stop!'

  Within seconds, Jasmine was in the office, rubbing my back and, bizarrely, blowing on my forehead. She also encouraged me to take small sips of water in between taking slow deep breaths.

  'There, there. That’s it. It’s finished now. Calm down,' she whispered encouragingly.

  Feeling like a child, I slowly returned to normal, taking deep breaths and smiling, embarrassed.

  'Oh God, Kate. I thought you were going to keel over and die. You scared me,' screeched Julianne.

  By now, the cats had become so freaked out by the commotion that they were trying desperately to hide. That's when I noticed many of the office staff were standing behind me, watching in horror.

  'It’s okay, guys. Cancel the ambulance, she’s fine,' I heard someone say disappointedly.

  'Jesus,' I gasped, red in the face, 'I seem to be today’s entertainment.'

  'Come on, everybody out. She just choked on her coffee, that’s all. Show’s over,' said Jasmine as she shoved them out the door.

  'I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jas, you really are a star. An angel,' I smiled, my colour slowly returning to normal.

  She smiled and nodded before rushing off as the phone began ringing again.

  'Are you alright?' asked Julianne, real concern in her voice.

  I nodded, 'I’m okay thanks. It’s really scary when that happens, though,' I answered, still shaking from the shock. 'But I’m okay. Really. What were we talking about?'

  For the next half hour we discussed everything I should include in my article, before she showed me some of the most beautiful photographs she'd taken of Casa Linda.

  'Have you given any thought as to what you’re going to do with the house yet?' she asked as she relaxed back into her chair.

  'I’m still considering all my options. It’s a beautiful place though, and so peaceful, but I don’t think I want to live there. It’s certainly not the kind of place to live on your own. Speaking of which, how’s things going with you and Syd?' I asked nosily.

  The mere mention of his name brought a grin to Julianne’s face and she blushed.

  'Well, between you and me, things seem to be moving quite quickly. So quickly, in fact, that he's asked me to move in with him,' her voice seemed to increase a few octaves at the end of the sentence and she blushed even more.

  'Wow, that is fast,' I grinned. 'Are you going to?'

  'Of course I am,' she yelled, suddenly aware of how loud her voice had become. She looked down, straightened her skirt, cleared her throat and blushed.

  'Julianne, that’s wonderful news.'

  She'd fancied Syd for such a long time and, after getting together, she was clearly head over heels in love with him. It was incredible how all my friends were suddenly meeting the men of their dreams and settling down. Soon it would be just me. All alone. A sigh slipped out from my lips and I looked at her in embarrassment.

  'Oh, Kate. I’m sorry. It’s thoughtless of me to be telling you this, especially considering your... predicament.'

  Her comment made me chuckle and once I’d started, I just couldn’t stop.

  Julianne looked at me and soon, she began to giggle too.

  'Pred...ic..a....ment!' We giggled and giggled, shaking our heads violently.

  My stomach began to ache and as I held it tightly, I noticed the door being pushed open secretively and a number of heads peered in. A few staff members looked at us then looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and closed the door again.

  Minutes later, the phone rang. Julianne was barely capable of picking it up. 'Ye...s.... Jas....mine,' she giggled, 'oh... err... I don’t.... think... I can take... it. Laughing... too... much. Huh? Yeh... yeh... okay'.

  She put the phone down and shook her head. '

  Stop... Kate.... stop. Have to... work.'

  We laughed for so long that we could barely even remember why we were laughing in the first place, so we soon began to calm down and I decided it was a good time to leave. I motioned to her that I was leaving and she nodded, almost as if pleading me to get out.

  Closing the door behind me, I leant against it and looked up, wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes. I suddenly realised how silent the office was and as I looked around, just about everyone was staring at me.

  'Private joke,' I said
before making a quick exit to the bathroom.

  Looking in the mirror, I was totally red-faced. My eyes appeared swollen, as if I'd been crying instead of laughing, and my mascara was smudged around my eyes. I looked a mess.

  The door opened and somebody’s arm appeared, holding my handbag. I took it gratefully.

  'Thanks, Jasmine,' I whispered.

  I emptied my make-up bag into the sink and began reapplying my mascara and eye liner as well as a dash of lip gloss.

  I stared at myself in the mirror.

  'Predicament,' I whispered to myself. Was I in a predicament? Had I spent my life in a predicament? Was it time for me to finally accept things and move on with my life? Should I try and forget all about the man of my dreams and see if there was Life After Fred... LAF. I smirked to myself. LAF.... Maybe someone was trying to tell me something.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  The September edition was out. My life story. It felt really strange, seeing it in print, yet a feeling of relief came over me, especially knowing it had been written anonymously. Although our readers would know these kinds of miraculous things do happen, they didn’t have to know who they happened to, did they?

  Only a select few knew who the story was about and they were my closest friends, Jo, Carly, Liz and Jorge, Anna, John, Julianne, Syd and Tony (and, of course, my mum). My dad, on the other hand, didn’t know. I had barely spoken to him in months but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about the amazing thing that had happened to me, the amazing thing that had completely changed my life in every way possible. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to know, it was because of whom the money and the property had all come from.

  But, deep down, I knew I needed to have the conversation with him. I was just putting it off. I would do... soon. I just needed a little more time.

  In the meantime, I was just enjoying my life one day at a time. I knew there was much to do, but again, I didn’t feel quite ready to start making huge decisions that would affect the rest of my life, like what to do with Casa Linda, when to visit the penthouse apartment in New York (and what to do with it), when to visit the apartment in Canada and what I should do with the now-derelict caravan site in Skegness. There were lots of other things I had to do as well, but on a more personal level. I wanted to find out more about Sam, for example.