by Nhys Glover
The lights were dimmed. In the background, the soft orchestral melodies of Brahms played on the entertainment system, as the wild rain and thunderstorm played out beyond the huge window. Rene led Liv to the table, and held her chair while she sat. Julio, deciding not to be outdone, did the same for Jane, who giggled.
‘That’s the first time he’s ever done that,’ she said as an aside to Liv. ‘This equality of the sexes does lose us some things. I rather like being treated like a lady.’
‘Querida, if you stopped acting like a tomboy, I might treat you like a lady more often,’ Julio said, as he poured chilled, white wine into her glass.
‘I do ballet as well as martial arts. That’s hardly the activity of a tom boy.’
‘You don’t mark your body with bruises doing ballet.’
‘Oh, for goodness sake! So Luke got in a lucky kick. It will be gone by tomorrow. Stop fussing.’
Liv looked across at Rene, and grimaced slightly at the banter between the other couple.
‘They’re always like this. You get used to it,’ he told her loud enough for the other two to hear.
That made them all laugh.
‘Do you know, Liv, when I first met Julio I could barely put two words together, I was so shy. And he used to interrogate me, as if I was sitting for an exam or something.’
‘My little mouse,’ Julio said with a sad, affectionate smile. ‘All those awful cigarettes I had to buy so I could spend a few minutes a day in your company, with that witch, Maude, looking on.’
Jane blushed prettily, and looked momentarily shy. It seemed so out of character for the girl he had come to know in the last year, that Rene was entranced. ‘Jane a mouse? I cannot imagine it.’
Jane blushed deeper, and her eyes became filled with pain. ‘Hasn’t anyone ever told you that this princess body isn’t me?’ She let her elegant hands flow down her body to indicate the body she was referring to.
‘I beg your pardon?’ Liv said, frowning.
Rene glanced over at Julio, who now looked deeply concerned. What long-buried wounds were they inadvertently digging up?
‘Rene has told you that people here change into younger bodies when their current one gets old.’ Jane started to explain with enforced perkiness. ‘Well, I was in a bad accident. That’s why Julio rescued me. I wasn’t supposed to be Retrieved. I didn’t fit the guidelines.
‘I was so badly damaged that they had to give me another body – this one. It wasn’t mine. It belonged to some other girl who had died. I never found out who she was. So, you see, this body isn’t actually me. I was not pretty before. And I worked in a dead-end job supporting my alcoholic mother, and couldn’t believe a handsome guy like Julio would show an interest in me. I was painfully shy. Short, fat and ugly girls usually are.’
‘We are far more than our bodies, Jane. You are wise enough to know that,’ said Liv, using a school marm tone. ‘It is not that body that makes you delightful company. Or wise and sensitive enough to say just what I needed to hear this morning. Maybe getting this body simply freed you up to be who you truly are.’
‘An outrageous, cheeky tom boy,’ put in Rene, with an affectionate grin designed to shift the mood of the gathering.
Jane took the hint and laughed. ‘See, you guys, Liv thinks I’m delightful company. So how about you get off your butts and feed your delightful ladies. It was your idea to have a dinner party.’
With more laughter, the men rose and went into the kitchen section of the room. In less than a minute, they had four meals ready to put on the table. The smell of chili con carne filled the air. Rene put Liv’s plate in front of her, and she smiled her thanks up at him. His heart did a little twostep in his chest. Fast on that thought came the every-present other – soon he would take her home to die.
Something of what he was feeling must have crossed his face, because Jane drew his attention by clearing her throat.
‘Carpe Deum, Rene.’
Liv looked at her oddly, but she didn’t ask for an explanation. And Rene didn’t need one. Seize the Day. She was telling him to enjoy the time he had with Liv, and stop spoiling it with thoughts of tomorrow. It was wise advice, as always, from his Midew.
The wine flowed, and the delicious main course was followed by a fresh fruit salad compote. The conversation stayed light and entertaining as Mozart played in the background, and the last of the stormed blew itself out.
Rene had never heard stories of Jane and Julio’s Retrievals before. Especially not the more amusing aspects – like when Jane tried to use the ticket machines at the Underground in London in 2004. She had swiped her card across the lighted screen, and waited and waited for the barrier to move. The line of people behind had become more and more impatient with the ditzy Australian. In the end, a snappy Pakistani had taken the card from her hand, and slipped it into the slot. When it popped out the other end, she had given a little woop.
Rene could imagine there was more than impatience being experienced by the Asian man. No male with a heartbeat would have been immune to Jane in the role of damsel in distress. But he didn’t mention this, as Julio wouldn’t like it, and with any luck, neither would Liv.
‘What is a train station?’ Liv asked, at the end of the story.
‘A train is a method of transport that will become popular later in your century. A station is a place where people wait for a train, so they can get on or off.’
‘We have those for coaches. They are usually Inns where the horses can be changed.’
Liv was being very careful what questions she asked. He could only guess at how much of what was being said around the table went over her head. But she was polite enough not to slow the momentum of the conversation with too many requests for clarification. Her bright, intelligent eyes told him that she was finding the company entertaining, for all her gaps in knowledge.
A wave of pure sexual need suddenly caught him unprepared. The instant arousal embarrassed him, and he was grateful for the table that covered his body’s reaction. But something of what he was feeling must have been transmitted to his companions, because Julio stood up, and held his hand out to Jane.
‘Come Querida, the storm has passed. Let us walk along the cliff in the moonlight. I will need to return home shortly, and I would like some time alone with you before I go.’
Jane jumped to her feet, and headed for the front door. Julio hurried after her. They waved, and grinned suggestively as they left.
‘That was rather sudden wasn’t it?’ Liv asked, watching them hurry out of the room.
‘I might be wrong, but I think they realised I wanted to be alone with you.’
‘Oh. Being left unchaperoned this way is quite disconcerting for me.’
‘Would you prefer it if I called them back?’
‘No. No. Let them enjoy their walk in the moonlight. I cannot believe that storm has passed so completely, and left the night sky so clear. Look at that moon rising over the ocean. It looks huge.’
Rene came around to her side of the table, and pulled back her chair so she could stand. Then he took her arm in his, and led her toward the sliding glass door that led onto the patio. The cool sea breeze instantly cleared his alcohol befuddled mind. But instead of calming his arousal, it only focused it.
Liv wrapped her arms around her body, as she looked out in awe at the watery road of shining moonlight that led them directly to the luminous globe on the horizon. The light cast her tranquil features into high relief.
‘Are you cold?’ he asked huskily.
She smiled up at him. ‘A little.’
He reached around her shoulders, and drew her in against his side. With no unyielding fabric between them, he could feel the way her soft contours moulded to his own. When she laid her head on his chest, he felt as if his heart would explode. How had he gone nearly eight hundred years without knowing this feeling? It was so painfully sweet it stole his breath away. All he wanted to do was hold her like this forever. Pause time here, and remain like t
his forever.
In Love. This was what it felt like to be in love.
‘I can hear your heartbeat.’ Her voice was low and drugged with passion she would not understand. His body recognised it though, and he tightened his hold on her, drawing her even closer.
‘I didn’t know it would feel like this,’ he confessed. His voice was gravelled with pent emotion.
‘Love?’ He liked that she didn’t play at misunderstanding him.
‘Yes. I stood on my little balcony one night, and watched the moon, just as we are doing now. And I imagined what you would look like by moonlight. My imagination was nowhere near the truth. Would you mind if I kissed you again? I want to see if my imaginary kiss was also inaccurate.’
She turned into him then, almost as if she had been waiting for the word. Her head lifted up, and for one blinding moment, Rene felt as if nothing would ever be as perfect again as this time. In slow motion he lowered his head, as she stood on tip-toe to reach him.
When their lips touched, it was like an explosion had gone off inside him. He gasped against her mouth, and held onto her while the reverberations shook him. Her wide mouth opened under his, innocently inviting him to enter, and he did so, sending his tongue into the moist heat that reminded him of another place his body craved to enter.
At the first invasion of his tongue, Liv drew back, and let out a little moan of surprise. Then she relaxed back into his arms, and allowed him entry. She let him taste and explore her, as his hands buried themselves deeply in her shining hair. When he thought he was going insane with desire, he tore his lips from hers, and began to kiss his way down her long neck.
She smelled like lavender and musk. And her skin tasted like heaven. He drew the heavy hair back from her neck so he could have better access, and he groaned as he felt her legs give way under her. Holding her against his straining arousal, he let his tongue lightly trace the line of her collar bone. The little gasp she made excited him even more.
He drew the shoulder of her gown down her arm so he could get to every inch of fevered skin. It amazed him how responsive she had become, all shy, virginal modesty stripped away by passionate need. Taking advantage of that need, he brought his hand up to cup one breast in his palm. It fitted there perfectly. And when he used his thumb and forefinger to tweak the erect nipple, the fevered moan she gave him was ambrosia to his senses.
Drawing the fabric away from her breast, he replaced his fingers with his mouth, and suckled deeply. His own legs threatened to give way under him then. With urgent haste he picked her up in his arms, strode back into the living room, and sat down on the well cushioned sofa with her across his lap. He laid her head on the arm rest so he could gain better access to her breast. Her arms came round his shoulders, and her short nails sunk deep into his flesh with each draw he took from her breast.
Then, as the delicious ache between his legs intensified, and he felt his control begin to give way completely, he tore his mouth from her body, and with shaking hands moved her off his lap to a safe distance. His body screamed at him in desperate need, but he clung to honour like a drowning man to flotsam. He focused on drawing each deep breath into his labouring lungs.
‘Rene?’ Liv’s voice was thready and high, her emotions as out of control as his own.
‘If I do not stop now, I will not be able to stop at all. Trust me, Liv, I am doing the gentlemanly thing here, no matter how much it pains me.’ He didn’t try to look at her. One glance at her glorious hair in disarray, and her gown half off her lush form, and he would have been lost. Closing his eyes, he tried to think of something else, anything else, but the need that was coursing through his sensitised body.
‘This… this passion between us seems unnaturally intense.’ Her voice was wavering and fragile, as if she were close to tears. ‘Augusta never described it thus. It feels wrong… but I do not want to stop.’
He groaned, and buried his face in his hands to block out the images her words brought to mind. He didn’t want to stop either. But he had to, for her sake. It was too soon. She still saw such sexual feelings as wrong, outside of marriage. When she calmed down, she would feel betrayed by him. A stranger in a strange world, she needed his support, his protection, not his animal need.
‘It feels more intense to me too. But there is nothing wrong with what we are feeling. It is natural – I assure you. But you are a maiden in my care, and I would not abuse that responsibility.’ His voice was as strange to his ear as hers.
‘My… my maiden state is yours, if you would have it. I will never marry another, so you take nothing from another man. But I fear what my father would say if I returned home … with child.’
Her innocent offer was as painful as broken glass underfoot. He rubbed at his spikey hair with his palms, trying to rub the sense back into his head.
‘You would not find yourself in such a condition, I promise you. I can never father children. No one here can. That is why we Retrieve people from other times. It is the only way we can continue our species.’
Liv shifted into a sitting position, and pulled her gown back up to cover her exposed skin. Then she brushed her hair back from her face. All this he saw out of the periphery of his vision.
‘Oh Rene, how heart-breaking for you all. I have never wanted to be a mother. Childbirth killed my mama and eldest sister before I was ten years old. I have watched childbearing make an old woman out of my eldest living sister. But not to have that choice… how do you all stand it?’
‘For hundreds of years we just focused on bringing our world back from the brink. There was much to be done, and so few of us left to do it. Then, only a few years ago, Cara and Jac, the blonde couple you met earlier today, began a revolutionary project. They rescue children from the past, and our people parent them, and give them loving homes. It is resurrecting us. It is giving us hope. And my work gives hope of a different kind.’
‘What is your work?’ she asked softly, leaning in against him, so he could feel the warmth of her body as it pressed against his own.
‘Our ancestors, with their overpopulation and industry, destroyed the natural balance. Millions of species on this planet…in this world … were killed. Became extinct. Here in New Atlantis everything looks perfect, but elsewhere – there is devastation. We have disrupted the weather, warmed the earth to uninhabitable levels, and melted the icecaps. The evil that we have done in ignorance, greed and neglect is boundless.
‘But now we are starting to redress the harm we have done. We have set up a program in the last year to start to Retrieve the extinct flora and fauna, so that it can have a second chance. The giant earthworm I found, with your grandfather’s help, will assist us to regenerate the barren soil. We will recreate the biodiversity we have lost. We will create Eden on earth once again.’
‘That is a God-given mission. I wish I could play a part in it…’ Liv whispered into the silence.
With renewed pain, he felt the tears sting his eyelids. He would give anything for her to be able to be given the opportunity to play a part, at his side. But fate had other plans for her.
Now that he had tasted the wonder of her, would he be able to go on, once she was gone? It was one thing to exist without love, when you have never known what you were missing. It was something else entirely, to go back to that half-life after having known such bliss.
If this was his God-given mission, didn’t he deserve a God-given helpmate? Someone to share the burden and the dream. Yet again he condemned the unfairness of life.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Liv awoke the following morning to feel the sun on her face. It was such an unusual experience, that for several minutes, she just lay there and drank in the sensation. But the longer she focused on the warmth on her skin and the light behind her closed lids, the more clearly she remembered sensations of a different kind that began to filter into her consciousness.
If she had known the potency of passion like she experienced last night, she would not have been so fast to rej
ect marriage in favour of the freedom of spinster life. To look forward every night to those overwhelming feelings, to experience that pleasure, which was unlike anything she had ever known before, it would be worth the risks of childbirth, and the limits marriage imposed.
As long as her husband could be Rene. It was impossible to imagine herself reacting, as she had last night, to any other man. It was his touch that was the catalyst for that intense experience. And just as the kisses of other men had been nothing compared to those of the French Indian, so the touch on her most private parts would have been nothing from another man.
Oh, the wicked pleasure his mouth had wrought, as it fastened on her breast. She had felt the delicious heat of it right down to the junction between her legs. No wonder she had become weak and helpless under the onslaught of that mouth.
She would have let him do anything to her in those heated moments. And, even now, she regretted his honourable side that had stopped the progress from going into ever more forbidden areas. Who was this woman who could happily throw away all modesty and socially accepted behaviour? It was as if she had become a different person since she stepped through that shower of sparkling lights.
Stretching languidly, she became aware of the silky texture of the sleeping tunic she wore. It was nothing like the loose fitting cotton night dress that covered her from neck to toe she wore at home. This garment plunged at the neck and the length only covered her thighs. Last night, while her body still burned from unmet desire, she had stood in the bathroom, in front of the mirrors, and looked at herself in the revealing garment. She had touched herself, too, imaging her hands were Rene’s, and the delight she felt would be her guilty secret.
What would it feel like to have his hands roaming over her body, the only separation between their skin being the silky thin fabric of the tunic? Would his hands shake as they did last night? Would they move, as if greedy to touch every part of her? Would her heartbeat thunder so loudly in her ears that it drowned out all other sounds?