“It doesn't matter,” Josh said.
“Josh, look at me. Do you have feelings for her?” she asked.
“It doesn't matter. I am not getting involved with anyone. You know that. She doesn't have feelings for me. Lisa doesn't believe in happily ever after. Her parents ruined that for her. I need to go. I can't stay. If I do, I'll end up punching him in the face.
His mom stood up when he did and grabbed his shoulders. She turned him to face her.
“You can't do this to yourself. Do you hear me? It needs to stop. I know you lost your father. I lost my husband, my love, and my best friend that day. You can't push the woman you care about away because you could lose her. I know that you care about her. You can't fool me. What if you have ten amazing years together? If every one of those days are the best days of your life. Should you give up each of those days because it's only ten years? No, you shouldn't. The time I had with your father, was the best time of my life. I have three beautiful children that I love so much. I was devastated when I lost him, and I still am. If I knew when I met him that I was going to lose him, but I would have all of those good moments, I would do it all over again. I don't regret a single second with your father. I had amazing times with him, and I get to have amazing times with my kids. Please, stop using his death to hide from love.”
He looked at her with a hurt look on his face.
“He shouldn't have asked her out.”
“What did she say? I bet she said no and gave him some lame excuse, right?”
“She told him she was going back to work and wanted to get an apartment. She said she needed to get her life together so that I could have mine back.”
His mom shook her head.
“If you let her go, she's eventually going to find someone. You can't expect her to be alone forever.”
“She doesn't want a relationship.”
“Neither do you, right?” she asked. “You two need to get your shit together before you lose each other.”
“I have to go.”
“I love you son. You need to make a decision. I just hope you make it in time.”
Josh went back into the house. Lisa was sitting on the couch with Tammy. He stopped at the living room door.
“I'm going home. I don't feel well. If you want, you can go with me, or you can have Jack drop you off later.”
“Are you okay?” Lisa asked. “What's wrong?”
“I don't feel good. I need to go home. You can stay here. Have my brother bring you home.”
Lisa stood up and walked over to him. She put her hand on his forehead and felt it.
“You don't have a fever. Is it something you ate? Do you need to go to the doctor?”
“It's not like that. I'll be fine. I'll see you later.”
Josh turned to walk away. Lisa grabbed his arm and pulled him back. She got in front of him and looked up into his eyes. He was filled with emotion and could not imagine what she saw on his face. Josh looked away from her, trying to hide his feelings. Did he care about her? He didn't know what he felt. She put her hands on his cheeks and pulled his face down to look at her.
“I'm going with you. You're not leaving here without me. Let's go.”
Lisa took his arm and walked out the door and to the car. He opened her door for her to get in.
“Are you sure you're okay to drive?” she asked.
“I'm fine.”
The drive home was tense. He was so upset and didn't want to say anything to hurt her feelings. It wasn't her fault that his brother asked her out. It made him feel good that she turned him down. His feelings were hurt that she was so concerned with getting out of his apartment. He liked having her there. They got along great. Every moment that he was home, they spent together. Josh was shocked that she was willing to go back to work so quickly. She hadn't even mentioned it to him. Was she that anxious to get away from him?
She rubbed his arm and watched him.
“Are you sure you're okay? Is there anything you need? You seem upset,” she said.
“I'm fine.”
“I really wish you would talk to me. I get that you don't owe me any explanation or anything. I'm worried about you. You're my friend and I care that everything is okay. If you're upset, I want to know. Talk to me.”
“You just can't wait to get away from me, can you?” he asked.
“What? Why would you say that? I enjoy spending time with you.”
“I just need to be alone to think.”
They pulled into the driveway. He opened her car door and closed it behind her. Josh unlocked the door to his house and walked away.
“Josh, I want to talk to you,” she yelled after him.
“I'll be out in a bit.”
He walked into his office and shut the door.
Chapter 21
Lisa went to her room and closed her door. What the heck happened? She knew Josh was in the kitchen getting things ready. The next thing she knew, he was in the living room ready to leave. There was no way she was letting him leave without her. They went there together.
She needed to go back to work and give him some space. He was probably tired of having her there every moment. Josh was a bachelor who used to go out often. Since she had been there, he had not gone out at all. She noticed, but didn't want to mention it to him. Every second he was home, she was with him. Maybe she was smothering him. That was probably why he wanted to leave without her. He just wanted time to himself. The quicker she went back to work, the better it was for him. She would be gone a few days each week. He would have time to himself.
Once she was back to work for a few weeks, she would find an apartment. Lisa needed to be on her own, and he needed his bachelor life back. The thought of leaving his place broke her heart. She loved being there. It was comfortable and safe. He always made her feel like she belonged. It was her home. It was the first place she actually felt at home, since she was a little girl. The thought of him bringing women to his apartment upset her. She didn't want to think about him with anyone.
Why did she feel so strongly about his life, she wondered? It hurt so bad that he wanted to leave his mom's house without her. She knew she had feelings for him. Shit! No way. That can't happen. She didn't believe in that. Feelings got people in trouble. She didn't want to get hurt. He would get tired of her. Maybe he already was.
She walked out of her room and went to his office. Just as she was about to knock on the door, she heard him on the phone. His voice became louder, but she couldn't make herself walk away. He was furious. She could only hear his side of the conversation. Who was he yelling at? It was not like him to get that loud. The whole time she had been there, she had never heard him like that. She stood close to the door to listen.
“I don't care.”
“That's a bunch of bullshit.”
“It doesn't matter.”
Who was he talking to? She could not hear the other person's response to each of his comments. Then she figured it out.
“You had no right to ask her out without talking to me first. You didn't even have the balls to do it in front of me. You waited until she was alone.”
She had no idea that he heard his brother ask her out. Why was he so upset? He didn't have feelings for her.
“I don't know. It was pretty obvious that she wants to get away from me as fast as fucking possible.”
“Yes. I had no idea she was planning to go back to work this week. What the hell was she talking about giving me my life back? Funny she hasn't asked me what I want.”
“I have no idea. You know I can't do love. When have you ever seen me in a relationship?”
“I know she is the first woman I have brought around. You don't understand how I feel. I can't do love.”
It was driving her crazy that she could not hear what his brother was asking him.
“Whatever. She is off limits to you. Leave her the hell alone. I need to go.”
Crap! Lisa hurried back to her room and shut the door. She fell onto
the bed with her face in the sheet. What did he mean she hadn't asked him what he wanted? He doesn't do love. She didn't want to be in his apartment when he chose to bring a woman home. No way did she want to hear what they did or have to face her in the morning. He didn't have feelings for her, but he thought he had the right to tell his brother to stay away from her. Who did he think he was? She felt like going out with his brother just to show him she was her own boss. Lisa had taken care of herself just fine since she turned 18. She didn't need someone telling her what she was and was not allowed to do. Not even Josh. She didn't have a dad, and she didn't need one then.
She got under her covers and turned off the lights. Lisa heard a knock on her door, but she didn't answer. Slowly the door opened and light from the hallway crossed her bed.
“Lisa, are you awake?”
His voice was soft and made her quiver. She made sure she was still and kept her breathing even.
“Sweet dreams, beautiful.”
She felt her breathing freeze. The sound of his voice was comforting to her. Lisa felt tears in her eyes as he walked out and shut the door. She wanted to yell and stop him, but she didn't. It was time for her to move. She dreamt about being with him since she was young. They had become good friends the past few months. She didn't want anything to mess that up.
Chapter 22
Josh drove Lisa to her appointment first thing in the morning. Neither of them spoke on the drive. As they sat in the waiting room, Lisa thought about her dream the night before. She dreamt that Josh professed his love to her and they had amazing sex. Sex in her dreams with him, was better than any sex she had ever had in real life. The dream probably happened because of his comment in her room just before she fell asleep. He hadn't mentioned it yet, so hopefully she had not called out his name. That was way to embarrassing.
“Lisa,” Josh nudged her.
“What?”
“They called your name twice already. Are you going to keep thinking about me, or are you going to go into the room?”
“Shut up! I wasn't thinking about you,” she said, as she stood up. “Are you coming with me?”
“Do you want me to?” he asked. “If you weren't thinking about me, who was on your mind? Your face is all red.”
“Come on,” she snapped, as she grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.
His hand was so warm, and she felt a spark shoot up her arm. She dropped his hand fast and walked away.
The doctor examined her ankle and gave her the all clear. No more therapy and no more doctor visits. She was excited. Josh had a sad look on his face. The doctor told her she could try going to work, but if she had a hard time, she needed to stay off a little longer. He told it might be hard on her ankle to be walking on a moving plane. The altitude could also possibly make it swell. She would have to test and see. Lisa was excited that she would be able to drive again. Her car was in Josh's garage and he had started it every couple of days to keep it running.
Josh opened the car door for Lisa to get in. She stood still and looked at him.
“What?” he asked.
She put on her best innocent look and tilted her head to the side as she pushed her lips forward.
“Can I drive?” she asked.
“You want to drive my car?”
“Please,” she said as she pouted.
“Why don't you practice on your car first?” he laughed.
She sighed.
“Fine,” he said. “You better be careful.”
She grabbed the keys from his hand and hurried to the other side, before he changed his mind. He laughed as she rubbed her hand along the side of the car and leaned down to hug it.
“Get in here,” he laughed.
“I have been in this car enough times, but now I get to drive it.”
“Don't feel it up. Let's go eat.”
She laughed and got into the car. He was quiet on the drive to breakfast. While they ate, she could tell he was thinking about something. It was not like him to have such a serious look. Josh looked up from his plate.
“Do you think you need to go back to work so quickly? Maybe you should wait another few weeks.”
“I need to get back to it. I need to start saving money, and I'm sure you would like to have a little time to yourself. This way, you'll be able to bring women back to your bachelor pad. I know you haven't bee able to do that for a few months. I'll only be gone a few days at a time. I'll still be there to bug you often, probably more than you want.”
“I think you should wait. I don't mind you being there,” he said.
“They aren't going to let me keep my job forever. I have to get back, before they let me go. I'll try it for one flight. If I can't do it, then I'll wait a little longer. I can't live off of you forever. You have done more than what you should have for me. I need to take care of myself.”
“Fine,” he said, as he looked back down at his plate.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I'm fine,” he replied.
The rest of the week went by fast. Lisa got new uniforms for work and took care of all of the paperwork she needed to start the following Monday. She spent time calling Heath, Gavin, Ethan, and John to set up donations from them for the event she was planning. Josh sat and showed her how the things they put in place at the restaurants were already making a difference in the numbers. They made dinners and took cookies to the fire station. One of the guys said something flirty to her and looked at Josh. A minute later Josh was ready to go. Lisa finally realized they were trying to set Josh off on purpose. She looked over at the guy as Josh walked away.
“That's not nice. Stop doing that to him. For that, you don't get any of the cookies,” she said, as she looked at him sternly.
“Come on, it's fun. You guys are just friends, but watch him stomp off each time one of us flirts with you.”
“I thought you guys all liked me. You were just using me to mess with your friend,” she pouted, and then she laughed. “Leave him alone.”
Sunday morning, Lisa sat down at the kitchen table. Josh walked out of his room dressed and ready to go to his mom's house. She was still in her pajamas. He looked at her with a confused look.
“You're not ready. We're going to be late,” he said.
“I'm going to stay home this week. I think it's better if you go without me.”
“Why? Do you know how bummed my mom will be?” he asked.
He had no idea that she knew he had heard the conversation between her and his brother. Lisa wanted to be honest with him. She patted the chair next to hers.
“Sit down, I need to tell you something,” she said.
He sat down and she saw a look of sadness in his eyes.
“What's going on?” he asked.
“While we were at your mom's last weekend, Jack asked me to go out on a date with him. I told him I didn't want to. I know we are friends, and I should have told you about it. He had every right to ask me. There was no reason for him not to. I just felt like I should have mentioned it to you,” she said.
“Is that why you don't want to go today?” he asked. “Do you want to go out with him?”
“No, I don't want to go out with him. I have a few more things to do to get ready for work tomorrow. I am going to work on the event we are planning. Tell your family I said hello and am sorry for not visiting.”
“Thank you for telling me. You don't want to go out with him, because he's not as hot as me. I don't blame you. Plus, how would you explain calling my name out in your dreams. That might be kind of uncomfortable for him. I totally understand,” he said, as they both burst into laughter.
“I still don't believe it really happened. I think you just say that to mess with me.”
“It happened. I can assure you of that.”
Lisa shoved him from his chair as he stood up.
“I'll be home in a few hours,” he said.
Lisa spent the day working on the plans she was making for the event. She had her clothes
ready and out for work and her bag packed by the front door. Lisa had to leave early in the morning for a flight from Pennsylvania to Las Vegas, with multiple stops. She would have an overnight stay in Vegas before taking the flight back. Since she hadn't flown in a few months, she wanted to make sure she had everything ready the night before.
Josh's mom text Lisa to tell her they missed her at dinner and that he was bringing a plate of food home for her. Lisa thanked her and asked if he was still there. She said he had already left. A couple of hours went by before he got home. Lisa jumped when she heard the front door open. He popped his head into her room on his way past.
“I brought a plate of food home for you. My mom packed it, so it's enough for days. She was upset that you weren't there. Jack thought you stayed home because of him. I told him you said I was a million times better looking and that you didn't think he could compare to me. He didn't think it was funny.”
“Thanks for the food. Are you hungry? We can share,” she said.
“Sure. I'll be out in a minute.”
Lisa wondered what had taken him so long to get home. It was none of her business. He didn't owe her an explanation. That didn't change the fact that she still wanted to know. Where had he gone? Why did she care?
They sat down to share what he had brought home for her. The plate was cold, like it had been in the refrigerator. Josh heated up some of the food and left the salads on the plate cold. She watched him as they ate, to see if he would say anything about where he had been.
“Why is the plate so cold? Was it in the refrigerator?” she asked.
“My mom left it in there until I left.”
“You were there for a long time. Did you have a good visit?”
“It was okay,” he answered.
Lisa felt herself get more and more upset. Why was he not telling her he went somewhere else? What was he hiding? She knew it was none of her business, but her emotions were getting to her. She told him about his brother asking her out, but he wasn't being honest with her. When she was done, she took the plates to the kitchen and went to her room.
Josh knocked on her door to see if she wanted to watch a movie, but she told him no. Lisa said she needed to be up early for work and was going to bed.
Hot for Love (Bachelor Billionaire #2) Page 12