by P. Jameson
“What are you holding?”
He stiffened, shielding the blur better. “You can’t see this.”
“No, I can’t.”
He scowled. “Explain.”
“I can’t tell what it is. It’s just a gray blur… like part of you is missing.”
Something about her words made his eyes clear and he looked at her like he did in real life. “Snuppa? Are you really here?”
She shook her head. “It’s a dream, remember?”
“My nightmare. You’re in my nightmare.”
“The one where you can’t let go.” That’s how he put it the night he woke up screaming. The same night she learned about his tail.
“Yes. That one.” He swallowed hard and gripped his blur even tighter.
“So, what is it you can’t let go of? Or… should I say who?”
The wind picked up, swirling between them, and Christienne knew what was coming next. It was time to wake up.
Determination made her voice harsh. “Who is it, Huran? Tell me.”
He shook his head. “Not like this, snuppa.”
“It’s someone very important. Someone you… you love.”
A streak of pain rolled across his features. The wind whistled, blasting them with artic air.
“Huran, do you love this person?” Her heart constricted, knowing she was right.
“Yes, Christy,” he whispered. “I love them very much.”
Her breath was ripped from her harder than any punch could have caused. The gale whipped her wet hair into her face as she struggled to keep conscious.
Huran, her forever mate, the father of her baby… loved whoever this was. Loved. And he’d never been able to tell her as much.
They had a bond, yes.
They were forever connected, yes.
She was the breaker of his curse. His, his, his.
But whoever he held in his arms now… he loved.
A sob ripped from her throat as the wind formed a cyclone around her. It pulled her out of the water and she heard Huran scream her name.
Once she was free of the lake, there was nothing but black. No space, no time. No sound except that of her own sorrow and even that eventually faded to nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
When Christienne awoke later, she didn’t panic. Maybe the emptiness of the black void served to calm her some. Now, she recognized her own bedroom. The moonlight through the curtains. The tick tick tick of the clock that hung next door in the living room.
“A dream,” she murmured. “Just a dream.”
She let her hand roam to her mate’s side of the bed, wanting to be close to him. But instead, she found it empty.
She sat up, calling for him, but there was no answer. No light in on in the bathroom.
“Huran?”
Rising from the bed, she wrapped the sheet around herself and went looking for him, making her way through each room until she was back in their bedroom.
She stared at the bed, a chill rolling up her spine.
He was gone.
Sadness and anger and humiliation settled in her gut, drawing strength from what had happened between them earlier. The sweet things he said, the way he made her believe they would be okay. The way he showed her love even though he couldn’t say it.
All the pretty moments they’d shared burned a hole in her chest that could only be filled with the truth.
It was time to learn what bound her mate to the lake once and for all.
She was ready to fight for him. For them. She only had to find him first.
And she knew exactly where to look.
Chapter Ten
Huran broke the surface of the water with a frantic splash. The serpent hadn’t noticed him yet, and if he was stealthy enough, he could be out of the lake before it roused from its snooze.
Swimming to the deep once more was risky. If Christienne found out, he knew she’d be upset. But seeing his mate again in his nightmare, the one that he’d endured for so long now, was a sign. He couldn’t forget what Tamsin whispered to him earlier. Christienne was a gift. He’d been given a second chance.
Don’t waste it.
He’d heard the same words in the dream as his mate was whisked away by the whirling wind. He’d watched her disappear before his very eyes, and felt the pain of her absence just as strongly as he felt Arne’s. But there was one difference.
Arne was gone. There was no bringing him back.
Christienne was alive and well. And loved him, needed him. Wanted him.
Telling her the truth wasn’t enough to break the hold the lake had on him.
It was time to say goodbye to Arne.
For good.
When he awoke from the dream, he left his mate in bed. After what they’d done to heal the bond, he didn’t want to wait until morning. Slipping into the water at North Shore, he’d made quick work of swimming to the bottom. He’d cried tears, sitting at the cross shaped rock as he told Arne about Christienne and the baby they were expecting. He thanked him for teaching him so much over their many years in the water. For teaching him about regrets and shame and being a better person through it all. And then he promised his firstborn son that he would be a better father this time.
After taking one last look at his son’s resting place, Huran hauled fin to the shore, praying to the Old Gods that the serpent wouldn’t tear him to shreds again.
So far, so good.
Planting his palms on the rocks that surrounded the grotto, he heaved himself out of the lake, watching his tail slowly transform back into legs.
A shift on the rocks behind him jerked his gaze around to find…
“Christy.”
He expected a horror filled look at discovering he still had a tail. He expected and angry look because he’d returned to the water. What he didn’t expect was the incredible sadness in her expression as she stared at him from across the grotto.
Only one word left her mouth, but it was enough to chill him to the bone.
“Who?”
Huran got to his feet, reaching for her, but she sidestepped him, walking to the edge of the rock that formed a barrier between the grotto and the main part of the lake.
“Who? Who do you go to see in the lake?”
“Christy, I was coming home to tell you everything.”
She shook her head, eyes narrowing. He couldn’t stand the way she looked at him. Like he was an enemy. “I only want to know who?”
Shit.
“Let’s get out of here and we can talk.”
When he reached for her again, she stepped backward, getting dangerously close to the edge.
“I want to talk here. I want to understand what pulls you away from me. Why this lake still holds you. I want the secrets gone.” Her lip trembled. “Is it a woman?”
Huran sighed. A woman. Is that what she thought? That he could feel for anyone else what he felt for her?
“This is ridiculous.”
He reached for her arm, meaning to pull her to him so he could make her see the truth, but he wasn’t expecting her reaction. When he made contact, she jerked back so hard he was pulled forward, stumbling over the uneven ground. Christienne took a step to steady herself but instead of finding her footing, she tumbled over the edge of the grotto and splashed into the water below.
Right into the main body of the lake.
She surfaced seconds later and Huran froze, waiting to see if the serpent awoke. North Shore was restricted to humans for a good damn reason.
When the water began to move unnaturally, he knew they were in trouble.
“Be very still,” he called to his mate.
“I’m trying,” she answered, sounding scared for the first time. “It’s deep here.”
“I know.”
He watched the water, judging the distance he’d need to swim to get to her. The serpent was coming, there was no doubt about that. But did he have enough time to get to his mate first?
“How fa
st can you swim, snuppa? Can you make it to the grotto?” Fear made his voice shake but he couldn’t feel shame for it.
“I think so.”
The water was growing choppier. The serpent could surface at any moment.
“Do it,” he said. “Swim for the opening.” If she could slide between those rocks before the beast caught her, she’d be safe.
She started for the grotto but before she made it even a few feet she stopped. Huran stared in horror as the serpent’s massive head rose up out of the water, blocking Christienne’s path to the opening.
“Fuck.”
“Huran…” Her voice sliced through him, worry cutting him into a million tiny pieces, all of them hers.
All of him… was hers.
Protect my female. No one hurts snuppa. Protect my child.
“Christy, listen to me. When I jump in, you swim for safety. You go as quickly as you can, and don’t look back no matter what you hear.”
“No! You can’t—”
“Do it.”
He didn’t wait for her to agree. With his next breath, he dove into the lake, pulling the monster’s attention away from Christienne.
When he hit the water, he expected the shift to happen, expected his tail to form, giving him an advantage against the serpent, even if slight. But it didn’t happen. His legs remained intact. The only scales he contained were that of his mark. His fin was nonexistent.
The burden of the Mer, he was finally free of.
Just in time to be eaten alive.
Fucking fate.
Huran swam away from the grotto as fast as his human legs would take him. Except the serpent didn’t follow. He waved his arms and hollered. Anything to get it away from Christienne. But the damn thing just stared at her, steam rising from its giant nostrils.
Huran let off a growl and swam toward it. If it wouldn’t leave her alone to come after him, then he would go to it. He’d punch it right in its big ugly eyeball. Ride it like a fucking bull. Whatever it takes.
“W-why isn’t it attacking?” Christienne whispered, face to face with the beast.
Huran didn’t have an answer. It made no sense. He only knew that he was ready to do battle if the monster even tried.
“E-excuse me, uh… dragon thing,” she continued. Huran stared at her. Was she really trying to talk to it? “We’d like to leave the water now. The exit is… uh… just past your shoulder.”
Ridiculous. The serpent didn’t have a shoulder.
Christienne eased forward, hand outstretched like she meant to pet it.
“Mate, what are you doing?”
The beast snorted in Huran’s direction, and for all intents and purposes, it felt like a distinct shut up.
He watched, fists clenched at the ready, as she approached the serpent and tentatively ran her hand along the spiny scales that covered its body.
“Excuse us,” she said politely, and the serpent shifted slightly to the side, stirring up new wake to let them pass.
Christienne slowly eased into the grotto and Huran followed, one eye on the beast at all times.
When they were safely out of the main body of water, she looked back over the edge at the monster and her eyes went soft.
“Thank you,” she said, giving it a small smile. “You are very kind. And a good guardian too. Thank you for watching the water so carefully.”
The serpent chuffed, spraying water into the air, and closed its eyes, looking like a happy kitten. A giant kitten covered in scales. Then it turned and dove back into the depths.
Huran stared at where it had been, watching the water settle back into place. He wouldn’t have believed it unless he saw it for himself. His mate was some kind of serpent whisperer.
“Your legs,” she said, sounding shocked. “The tail is gone.”
The tail that she’d seen when he came ashore, and didn’t seem remotely surprised about.
“You knew, didn’t you? Was it Jase? The bastard…”
“It wasn’t him. I…” She swallowed hard. “I saw you shift one night. Saw you go into the water, saw the tail form.”
Huran closed his eyes, feeling so much regret. He was a goddamned fool.
“I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t have answers at the time. Only suspicions.”
“Do you have answers now?” She shivered, and he noticed the blue tint of her lips. She was freezing.
“Yes, mate. I have so much to tell you.” He reached for her hand. This time, she didn’t pull away. “But first, I’m taking you home.”
Chapter Eleven
Christienne sat on the couch, listening as Huran told her about his son. He paced the room, his words spilling out like a busted bag of sand. Messy and in granular pieces, but she was taking every tiny part and putting it together until the picture he painted was clear.
Nothing was as she thought it was. There was no other woman. No lost love. No one for her to compete with for Huran’s devotion.
There was only a child long ago dead and his own broken heart.
And fear.
She wrapped the blanket tighter around her shoulders in an attempt to get warm after the incident in the water.
For the first time, she realized how afraid he was. Not of anything physical. He was a warrior, bred for battle. He’d proven it when he flung himself into the lake to save her. Unnecessary as it was.
No, Huran wasn’t afraid of anything corporeal. It was the stuff inside he was scared of. The tough stuff. Emotions. Good ones and bad, they were all the same. Feelings were a threat to him. It was why he’d been bound to the lake and Arne’s gravesite. It was why he’d never been able to tell her he loved her.
It was why he’d hesitated to get her with child.
“But tonight,” he continued, still pacing his back and forth path across the floor. “After I saw you in the dream—”
“Wait, you saw me?”
He turned to stare at her. “Yes. You said Tamsin gave us the dreams to help us. I think you’re right.”
“We had the same dream?” The idea was incredible and explained so much.
He nodded. “I saw you be swept away in a cyclone of magic. I woke up after that, and knew what had to be done. I didn’t want to wait until morning.”
“What did you do?” she asked.
Huran came and knelt at her feet so that they were eyelevel. “I said my goodbyes to the deep, Christy.” His voice was earnest but solid. Sure. “I said goodbye to my son. I let all the hurt go, all the regret, the shame. I gave it to the deep and broke the surface with a new intent in my heart.”
He took her hand and she closed her eyes at the feel of his touch. Was this enough? Was she enough? “Huran, I don’t like secrets. I can’t do this again—”
“Look at me, snuppa. See the truth.”
She found his gaze, so full of hope for their future that she couldn’t help but feel it too.
“For the first time in forever, I’m free. Truly free,” he rumbled. “I am fully yours. Nothing will ever come between us again. What I’m trying to say is…”
He hesitated and her heart sank and soared in the same breath.
Reaching up, he cradled her face to keep her gaze on him. “Christienne Marshal, my precious mate… I love you. I have loved you since the beginning. I will always, always, love you.”
Tears sprang up, filling her eyes to the brim but he wiped them away.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before. Could only show you. But I will spend the rest of our days telling you, proving it over and over. To you and our baby. I will be the man you deserve and the father I couldn’t be to Arne.”
It was all she’d ever wanted for things to be right between them. No secrets, no shadows.
She nodded and a sob escaped her throat as she flung her arms around his neck. “Mine,” she proclaimed, finally secure in who—what—they were. Two parts of a whole. Two fates intermingling to form a future. Two nightmares becoming a dream.
“Forever and always, snuppa.”
He kissed her hard. “Forever and always.”
***
Huran stood on a cliff overlooking the North Shore. He stared down into the blue water knowing he’d never enter it again. Today, he was absolutely fine with that.
His mate stood beside him, her belly round as a watermelon—which she craved often in these final days of her pregnancy. They should be meeting their daughter any day now, and Huran could hardly wait.
But first there was one last thing to do at the lake.
In her hand, Christienne held the small wooden box she’d used to collect labradorite stones for this occasion. She opened the lid and it gave a little creak.
The wind was cold and whipping a frenzy above their heads, but this time there was no whispering goddess taunting them. They were alone except for their friends. Mansen and Doe stood to one side of the ledge, Jase and Vada on the other. Huran would never speak it out loud, but their support meant the fucking world to him.
Maybe he would say out loud.
Later.
Maybe.
“We’ve gathered today in remembrance of a small but fierce warrior who was taken too soon,” Christienne began. “Arne of Brigantes, who came to this land long ago in search of treasure and glory, could never know his destiny would land him the deepest reward of all. Life eternal, through the eyes of those who loved him most.”
Huran felt his eyes moisten at the beautiful words his mate chose for his son.
“Every year on this day, we will return to the North Shore to remember. For as many generations as the bloodline allows, Arne will be remembered. As the warriors of old did, we will gift the lake with our stones. May they fall to his resting place and speak of our love.”
She took a stone and held the box out to Huran. When he’d selected one, she passed it to the others. One by one, they tossed the labradorite into Sapphire Lake until it was Huran’s turn.
Rubbing his thumb over the polished gem, he closed his eyes and said one last prayer to the Old Gods. Let me always be better than before.
He tossed the stone far out into the lake, and silently repeated the promises he’d left at his son’s grave that last night in the water.
They watched and waited as the stones disappeared beneath the surface, and eventually, the serpent came into view. It lifted its head out of the lake, steam rising from its warm body. It let out a small chuff and if Huran could speak the thing’s language, he’d guess it was saying, I’ve got this now. Go, and be happy.