But here tonight, I was starting to feel free. I felt myself switching back on, I felt the confidence start to shine through, and I knew it had something to do with the man sitting opposite me.
I looked at Josh to find him watching the show. The strength of his jaw, the light peppering of stubble, and the pout of his lips held my attention. He was fantastic to look at. Being under my gaze caused his eyes to flash to mine, and I took that as an invitation to speak. There was something that I needed to confirm, just to make sure I wasn’t completely off game. If anyone would give me an honest answer, it would be Josh. “I’ve got a serious question for you. Do you have time for a serious question?”
“Of course,” he responded with a nod and leaned over the table to get closer.
“If you had a girlfriend with some serious moves, and I mean serious moves, and she offered to show you those moves while wearing her most expensive and seductive lingerie, knowing that it would lead to the hottest sex of your life, would you:
A: Encourage her and fuck her into oblivion.
B: Let her do her thing and maybe fuck her.
C: Tell her that you’re tired, then roll over and go to sleep, leaving your girlfriend who hasn’t had sex in weeks, is needy, and wearing said lingerie, to her own devices.” I leaned forward, resting my chin on my open palm, and awaited his response.
Josh didn’t hesitate. He leaned over the table until his mouth was next to my ear, causing me to shiver as his hot breath caressed my skin. “If it were you, Ash, I’d let you show me your moves and I would enjoy the fuck out of watching you. Once you were done, I’d throw you on the bed and feast on you. Then I would fuck you, not into oblivion, but into a whole other universe. You’d be feeling me for days, and I would be walking around hard knowing that. So to answer your question, I would choose D, and create a whole new option for us.”
Holy fuck. My body flushed and my panties dampened at the mere thought. My eyes slammed shut as the lightest of kisses hit my temple, and I shot to a land of ecstasy. Josh moved back and sat against the leather of the booth, and I matched his stance. A lingering gaze between us fell over the table, and I couldn’t break away. I knew I needed to descend back into reality, but the thought of him between my legs was a beautiful confusion that I wanted to bask in for a little longer.
A fresh vodka coke was put on the table, and he was already sipping on his whiskey. I needed to get my thoughts off the orgasm I’d be giving myself that night and change the conversation. Did I pack Mr. Good Vibes?
“Is he another one of your book husbands?”
My head shot up to find Josh’s amused gaze. Please, God, do not tell me I said that out loud. I decided to throw caution to the wind. I was tipsy, I was with a friend who had seen me naked before, and I had an awesome vibrator.
“He is my vibrator.”
He choked on his drink and his eyes bugged wide open at my admission. “Warn a man before you start talking about vibrators.”
“You use your hand, and I use Mr. Good Vibes. It’s really no big deal. All this talk of sex has put me a little on edge, so I’ll be spending some time with him tonight, and I know he won’t disappoint. He never does.” My mouth was moving before my brain had a chance to stop me. I had just divulged that I was going to go back to his apartment, disappear into the room next to his, and give myself a rocking orgasm or two. Ladies and gentlemen, please refer to me from now on as Ashlyn “No filter” Hart.
“A lot of women have vibrators, Josh. Probably even your mom.” I smirked and lifted my glass to my lips.
His face went ashen, and he slowly shook his head in disbelief. I could only imagine the thoughts running through his mind. One point to Team Ashlyn. Mom jokes for the win.
“You did not just make a mom joke that involved the word vibrator.” A glint of mischief hit his eye, and I trembled with anticipation as he leaned in closer. Would he unleash a dirty comeback? Whisper something highly inappropriate? Or would it be the promise of some form of retribution? I loved our friendship.
“Josh Crawford?” A high-pitched voice sounded from beside the table.
Josh winced at the intrusion, then sat back in his seat and broke the closeness we were sharing. I turned to find a girl with a fierce red bob, a corset that looked like it belonged in the pages of penthouse, and a face full of so much makeup that it made her look older than her years. It really was a shame, because she was a stunning girl.
“Hey, Lucy,” Josh said without conviction.
“It’s Louise,” she said, correcting him with a genuine smile. “Can I sit? I was hoping I’d run into you again.” She didn’t wait for an answer.
I watched in fascination as she slid in next to Josh until she was practically sitting on his lap. My amusement wasn’t lost. Josh was famous for his shit-eating grins, and I knew I was now firing one that could match the best of his.
“Hi, I’m Ashlyn,” I said sweetly, and held out my hand to her.
Josh’s eyes shot wide as he watched who I assumed was a recent conquest shake my hand.
“How do you know our dear Josh?” I asked.
“About a month ago he was in my bed, and I can’t get him out of my head,” she cooed, and shifted her body so she was facing him, then she placed one of her manicured hands on his chest and started playing with the buttons of his shirt. “I am hoping he will be back in my bed tonight.”
A month rang bells in my head, and it screamed in recognition. I met Josh’s gaze as visions of being snuggled up to his chest with our legs tangled together engulfed me. It was a month since I crawled into his bed after being found out by Eden, desperate for the comfort that I knew only Josh could provide.
“A month ago you say?”
“Christ,” Josh muttered and shot me a pleading look.
“Yep.” She giggled in reply.
“Well, I better leave you two to catch up. A month is a long time.” I smiled sweetly at Louise, then smirked at Josh as I stood and grabbed my clutch from the table.
“Can you give us a minute?” Josh asked, not waiting for an answer from Louise. He grabbed my hand, and I was soon being led through the crowd toward the back of the bar and away from the thumping music.
“What the hell are you doing?” I scoffed, then we stopped and he dropped my hand.
A look of frustration greeted me, and he took a deep breath before he spoke. “There is no way in hell that you are leaving. Tonight is about you, and not some chick whose name I didn’t even remember. We are leaving together.”
“I’m seriously going to start calling you Tarzan.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Tarzan beats his chest, grabs a woman, and storms away with her just to make a point. That’s what you just did, so tonight I’m calling you Tarzan,” I stated matter-of-factly.
His gaze pinned onto mine while he tried desperately to stop the smile begging to be seen. “If calling me Tarzan makes you stay, then call me Tarzan.”
“What are you going to do about Louise?” I asked softly. “She seems pretty determined to go for round two with you?”
His eyes darted away from mine and looked back to the table where Louise waited. Hesitation flashed across his face and, at that moment, I saw the first look of regret I’d ever witnessed Josh display when it came to women.
“I really need to stop with the random pussy,” he said and hissed under his breath, as if he was in conversation with himself. “This shit can’t keep happening, especially when I am out with you.”
Was Josh standing before me, saying he was going to give up casual sex? Why was he suddenly so afraid that I’d witness what I already knew was his lifestyle? His forehead pinched, and he looked like he was deep in thought.
“Josh, it’s really no big deal. It’s happened before, and it will happen again. This is you. It’s what you do. It’s completely fine.” I grabbed hold of his hand and finally got his attention, though his face remained hard.
“It’s not fine at all, an
d you shouldn’t accept it.” He left me and headed back to the table.
With a sigh, I followed close behind him, and Louise looked at us both with suspicious eyes. She stood from the table and grabbed her purse. Her eyes shot daggers at me, then they looked at Josh like he was the biggest loss she’d ever felt.
“I didn’t think you’d ever settle down,” Louise said, with regret tainting her words and a fleeting look at Josh.
“Excuse me?” Josh asked.
“You two,” she spat, once again glaring at me. “I should have realized. You were looking at her like she was the only girl here, and you were looking at him like you would take out any girl that got near him. I can’t believe you let me believe I had a chance. What kind of girl does that? I cannot believe you are with her, Joshua.”
What the hell? I had asked her to join us. I was going to leave them to get reacquainted, and I certainly hadn’t been planning on taking any chicks out. What the hell kind of girls was Josh getting involved with?
She didn’t say another word. She spun on her heal, stormed through crowd, and disappeared. Josh and I looked at each other, completely rattled and confused as to what was happening.
“What just happened?” I asked.
The casual night had completely shifted. We went from talking about sex and vibrators, to me being told that he had been looking at me like I was the only girl in the room. Talk about a complete 360. Being the only girl that Josh saw was something that I’d wanted for years. I yearned for it, and begged the universe to gift me that one experience. Louise was crazy if she thought that after almost five years it had finally happened. I shook my head at the thought and turned to Josh.
“I better get you out of here before you start taking out all the women looking at me.” He winked and held out his hand to me.
I burst out laughing and looked at his hand. I didn’t hesitate for a second, before I placed my hand in his. I only thought of one thing as he led me through the crowd and out to the sidewalk, and it was a thought that made my heart sink for a split second.
Oh, how I wished things could have been so different, but some things were never meant to be.
IT WAS A WEIRD experience walking into my apartment and finding it completely lit up and smelling of garlic. I dropped my keys onto the coffee table, removed my wallet and phone from my pocket, and stopped in the middle of the living room. There was no sign of Ashlyn, but I knew she was here. I could feel that she was here.
The sound of water splashing halted my steps as I walked down the hall toward my bedroom. The thought of Ashlyn naked, wet, and in my tub shot straight to my cock. Clearly, my cock knew that he hadn’t gotten any action lately and needed to make himself known. I adjusted myself, then knocked softly on the slightly-opened door and waited.
“You can come in, I’m decent,” Ashlyn said softly.
I cursed under my breath, gave myself a silent stern talking to, and stepped into the bathroom. I was immediately hit with the scent of strawberry and vanilla. Ashlyn was lying in the tub, covered by bubbles, with her hair piled on top of her head. Her head rolled to the side and she offered me a smile that reached her eyes.
“Hey, Tarzan,” she said in a teasing tone.
“Is that really going to stick?” I laughed, with a shake of my head.
“I’ve always wanted to give you a nickname, and this one you brought on yourself.”
“Something smells good out there.” I decided to change the subject and focus on something other than the ridiculous nickname I had apparently brought on myself. I leaned against the vanity, crossing my legs at the ankles, and gazed down at her.
“I’m making my grandma’s famous garlic prawns in white wine sauce. It’s nice having someone to cook for, so I hope that’s okay?”
“That sounds great.” My stomach rumbled at just the sound of it.
A faint smile hit her lips and her eyes closed. Ashlyn didn’t talk about her extended family. She spoke about Austin religiously, but I had never heard her speak of her parents, and definitely not her grandma. It was a subject that I’d tried to broach on numerous occasions, but she always came up with an excuse to change it.
“You never talk about your family.”
Her eyes shot open at the mere mention of them, and she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. “You know a lot about Austin,” she finally said.
“That was the first time you’ve mentioned your grandma.”
Her face flashed with softness, and the slightest of smiles spread across her lips. “She died when I was seventeen.”
Fuck. Nice one, Josh. “I’m sorry, Ashy.”
“It’s okay. I have great memories of her.”
“What about your parents? Are they still in Monroe? I can’t believe I’ve never met them.”
The earlier gentleness of her face fled, and her eyes darted away from mine. Immediately, I knew I’d hit a raw nerve and she was retreating. It was only there in the silence of the bathroom that it hit me. Did she even have parents? After being in my life constantly for the past five years, it was only now that I was considering that her parents might not even be alive and that’s why she never mentioned them.
I crossed the bathroom and crouched down beside the bath. “Ashy, are your parents still . . . ?” I whispered.
Finally she looked back at me. “Yes, they are alive. I just choose not to talk about them. To be honest, they don’t deserve the time it takes to talk about them.”
A blanket of awkwardness covered us, and the tone in her voice told me she had no desire for this conversation to continue. I buried the need to press further, but only for now. This was a conversation we would be having, just maybe not while she was lazing in the bathtub with bubbles barely covering the curves that could destroy me on sight.
“What are your plans for the night?” Ashlyn asked, swiftly changing the subject and pulling me away from thoughts of losing control on her curves. When her green eyes flashed to mine, they begged me to accept her change of topic.
“Eating garlic prawns, drinking beer, and sitting on the couch with my roomie.”
“Roomie makes it sound so formal. I’d prefer to be called the most awesome, fantastic, incredible house guest.”
“You call me Tarzan, and I’ll call you Roomie.” I shot her a wink, rose to my feet, and headed for the door.
She chuckled softly. “Well played, Mr. Crawford, well played.”
After forcing myself out of the bathroom, I stepped into my room and changed into sweats. There was no need to go out, no thought of random pussy, and absolutely no desire to do anything but stay in and sit on the couch with her.
Twenty minutes later, Ashlyn appeared dressed very similarly to me, and then disappeared into the kitchen. This whole scene was so domestic; me getting home from visiting my parents, a gorgeous woman cooking dinner, general chit-chat, and spending the night in.
“Do you realize we’re turning into Ky and Eden?” I asked from the couch, with amusement.
“Huh?” she asked with a quirked brow as she walked into the living room carrying two bowls filled with garlic prawns and rice. After placing them on the coffee table, she returned to the kitchen to grab wine and two glasses, and then came back to the living room.
“I get home, you have dinner cooked, we talk while you’re in the tub, and now we’re about to spend the night on the couch with wine. That screams Ky and Eden.”
Ashlyn abruptly stood from the couch and grabbed the bottle of wine and glasses, then returned to the kitchen and disappeared from sight. What the hell was she doing? I gazed at the entry of the kitchen with fascination, and waited for her to return. The clink of glass sounded, and then she reappeared. Ashlyn strutted back into the living room carrying two beers with a cheeky grin spreading over her face. She handed me one, before dropping to the couch beside me.
“Kyden wouldn’t drink beer with amazingly delicious garlic prawns,” she stated with a smirk before holding her bottle up.
I clinked
my bottle against hers in cheers before asking, “Kyden?”
“Yep, you know those Hollywood names? Like Brangelina? Well, we have Kyden.”
“Please tell me you didn’t just combine their names?”
“Oh, you better believe that I did.” She winked before digging into her dinner.
We sat in silence as we both ate. It was incredible.
“Is that what you want? The type of relationship where you come up with a cutesy name?”
“A Kyden kind of relationship is a relationship I’ll never have.”
Her statement stunned me. Ashlyn spent all of her time getting lost in her books and stepping into the pages of her favorite romance novels, yet she didn’t believe that she would get that? She was Queen of the happily-ever-afters. My head went crazy with scenarios about why she believed she’d never have it.
“Why do you think you’ll never have something like Ky and Eden?”
“Kyden.” She corrected me.
“I am not calling them Kyden,” I said, groaning at the craziness of that nickname. To be honest, I couldn’t wait to get on the phone and tell him of this new development.
“You will.”
“Ashlyn?”
“Ashlyn and relationships go together as well as Josh and monogamy. I have all but given up, so from now on I’ll get my romance from my books and my orgasms from my vibrator. Book boyfriends never let me down, but even if they do, I know I’ll always get a happily-ever-after.”
She placed her empty bowl on the table and moved so she was facing me. Her legs were folded and her hands clasped in her lap. She observed me with intention, like she was assessing whether this was a conversation she wanted to have with me. I mimicked her movements, leaning forward and placing my bowl beside hers. She lifted her beer to her lips and continued looking at me over the neck. The silence was torture.
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