“Why would you bring him up when I was about to kiss you?”
“I . . . uh, he . . . messaged,” I stammered, realizing what he had just said.
I was about to kiss you.
Shit.
Josh hauled himself from my body, and the feeling of loss was immediate. After years of nothing, he was going to kiss me. I had the potential to feel the softness of his lips again, but of course I sabotaged it. How could I have been stupid enough to bring up Lachlan?
I watched wide eyed and in silence as Josh left the living room without saying a word to me. I pulled my legs up against my chest, rested my head on my knees, and followed his every step with my eyes. He avoided meeting my gaze, and busied himself in the kitchen doing mindless things, like wiping the counter tops, and opening and closing the fridge without removing a thing.
“Are you going to say anything?” I finally broke and stood from the couch.
His eyes, completely void of emotion, finally met mine, and focused on me as I walked toward him.
“It was a simple question, Josh. I don’t know why you’re reacting like this.”
“Why am I reacting like this?” he scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You just don’t get it, do you, Ashlyn. You just don’t fucking get it.”
He used my full name. He never called me Ashlyn. I was always Ashy, and every time he called me Ashy, I felt a bond between us that I would never share with anyone else. It was our thing. I called him Josh, and he called me Ashy. With a shake of his head, he stormed through the living room without giving me another glance and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
Three hours later, I was still confused at how abruptly Josh left. To kill time, I called Eden and heard all about her plans for the engagement party, finished some work on the blog, and had an overly-long shower. Now, the only thing left to do was settle in for a night on the couch with my kindle and a pint of cookies and cream ice cream, and wait for him to come back.
Four chapters, half a pint of ice-cream, and getting lost in the story of my latest book boyfriend were shattered by the sound of the door opening. Josh stepped into the living room, and his eyes fell to mine. My eyes ran over his body on instinct, to make sure he was okay.
“Stand up, Ashlyn.” There he goes with my full name again.
I placed my kindle on the couch beside me, while never breaking his stern gaze. “Josh, wh—”
“Stand up.” The tone of his voice told me he didn’t have time for arguments. It would seem that stubborn-ass Josh had returned to the apartment.
With an exaggerated sigh, I stood from the couch and waited. Unpredictability and Josh Crawford walked hand in hand, so whatever he was about to say would be a surprise. He placed his keys on the coffee table and then turned to me, but I took the cue to talk first.
“Where have you been?”
“Why did you ask if I’d spoken to Lachlan?” he asked, completely ignoring my question.
“It was just a question.”
Josh’s jaw tensed, and his gaze shot to the ceiling in a sign that he was pissed off. My breathing stilled, and it was only a matter of time before he called bullshit. Why I ever thought I could hide something from him truly baffled me. The only arguments I ever had with him were in jest. They were resolved within minutes, and neither of us ever left. This one felt so different and it unnerved me.
“Why do you lie for him? What right does that motherfucker have for you to lie for him?”
I sighed in defeat as we continued going around in circles. “Can we please just forget I said anything?”
“I was about to kiss the life out of you, Ashlyn. Ever since you’ve been here I’ve wanted a taste, to feel your lips against mine again, but I’ve held back because I know he messed you up. But there comes a time when I lose my patience and I don’t give a fuck about some asshole that missed his shot. So tell me, why do you lie for him?”
My simmering frustration boiled over and confusion hit me. Josh awaited my answer, while I tried desperately to comprehend everything that was being thrown at me. On one hand, I had Lachlan’s text messages swamping my thoughts, taunting me, and bringing out the girl that I refused to be, and now I had Josh telling me that he wanted to kiss and taste me again. I had to shake the thought of kissing him out of my head and deal with the look of annoyance he was shooting my way. If he wanted the truth so desperately, I’d give it to him on a gold platter.
“He was messaging me today. He mentioned you in one of the messages, so that’s why I asked. I’m not lying for him. Why would I lie for him? The fact that you even said that pisses me off beyond measure. You have been telling me to forget him, and it’s been you encouraging me to move on. I’m trying really hard, so don’t you dare accuse me of lying for him,” I spat, my frustration evident in my voice.
“What did he say to you?” Josh stole the space between us and grabbed my hand.
I focused on his fingers entwined with mine and answered, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah it does, because the moment I saw you I knew something was wrong, and then you tried to bullshit me by saying there was nothing wrong. So yeah, Ashlyn, it does matter.”
“Josh, it doesn’t matter,” I gritted out. “I don’t want him tainting my time spent with you, or causing us to have stupid fights like this, so please, can we just stop talking about him?”
I tugged my hand out of his grasp and fled to the kitchen to escape the intensity of the living room. I felt like I couldn’t win. Lachlan’s messages pushed me to the edge of breaking, but how could I break when I had Josh holding me up? I leaned against the kitchen island and focused on the view the eighth floor provided. Peace flooded me, and I felt the tension in my shoulders dissipate.
I jumped as hands fell onto my waist and the heat of Josh’s body collided with my back. There were no words said, only beautifully-choreographed movements. Josh’s arms threaded around my waist and pulled me tightly against the ridges of his chest. I sighed as the sweet combination of soap and aftershave hit my senses, and my head fell back against him. My body molded into his so perfectly, and the whole scenario of being in his arms didn’t feel out of place at all. It felt like it should be the norm, like my body was built to synchronize with his.
“Your stubbornness is legendary,” he murmured as his hot breath caressed my skin.
I gasped when his teeth suddenly nipped at my neck, and instantly a shot of pleasure cascaded down my spine and landed between my thighs.
“I don’t want to talk about him, so please don’t make me,” I whispered as I got lost under the sensation of his breath on my sensitive skin. My neck involuntarily fell to the side, allowing him better access, and I found myself becoming drunk under his touch. “He is my problem, not yours.”
“And you, Ashlyn, are my priority, which means I will be speaking to him. He doesn’t do this again. I refuse to see the spark in your eyes fade because of that asshole. This is one time that I am going to have to agree to disagree with you.”
There was no way I’d let him approach Lachlan. This was my battle to fight and, whatever it took, I’d make sure I came out the winner. I tried to pry myself out of his arms, but his grip tightened while my annoyance increased. “Let me go, Josh,” I said and struggled.
“Like hell, I’ll let you go. I’ve done that once before, and I’m not doing it again.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Let me g—”
With determined hands, he spun me around to face him and, before I could object, his mouth slammed onto mine. The force of his body colliding with mine pushed me back against the kitchen island, and the sound of crashing cutlery hitting the floor screeched through the air. I attempted to take a desperate breath, and Josh’s tongue took the opportunity to slide into my mouth and claim ownership. The moment our tongues collided, all control was lost. His hands cupped my ass, and I was lifted from my feet. Immediately, my legs wrapped around his hips. My body moved against his, grinding and begging to get clos
er. All ability to breathe was lost as he stole everything from me. His mouth owned me, claimed me, devoured me, and I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.
“I need to touch you,” he said against my mouth, before pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. “It’s been too fucking long.”
“Holy shit.” I moaned as he licked the pain away from my bottom lip.
I lost all sense of reason. All I could think about was the growing ache, desperate to be relieved, between my legs, and the way his mouth was working mine. I must have nodded in response, because we were soon on the move. My legs tightened around his hips, my fingers ran through his hair, and my mouth never left his. With every determined step he took, my needy body rubbed against his. I whimpered against his lips, which only encouraged a more seamlessly brutal kiss. My body hit the softness of a mattress, and it was only then that we broke apart. Our breathing was shattered into a million perfectly-cut pieces. His eyes blazed down into mine as he hovered above me with his arms holding the weight of his body. Without breaking his gaze, Josh’s hand disappeared under the edge of my shirt, and the cool air hit my heated skin. I shivered at the sensation. My pulse thundered as his hand moved over my hips and pulled my sweatpants down my legs, before throwing them next to the bed.
“Josh, I can—” I couldn’t finish my words, because the moment his hand slipped inside my panties and his finger touched me, my back arched. The ability to speak, think, and comprehend anything was stolen.
Josh lowered his face until his breath caressed my eager lips, but he didn’t touch his mouth to mine. He stared at me as his fingers continued to tease me with the promise of pleasure. My breathy moans filled the air, and my eyes slammed shut when not one but two fingers sunk into me. With a rhythm that danced between restraint and hysteria, his fingers moved in and out of me. He dropped his forehead to mine, and my pants collided with his whispers of my name. This was magic, this was chaos, and this was unrelenting pleasure in its best form. Josh Crawford, my college crush, was now my adult fantasy.
“Are you ready to come, Ashy?” His devilishly enticing voice echoed through my thoughts. There was no chance of putting two words together for a response, so my loud gasp of agreement was the only answer he needed.
The intensity of his fingers increased, and the sound of just how wet he had made me collided with my desperate breaths. Oh my god. My head slammed back against his pillow and my hips rose as my need to come strengthened. Emotions bubbled within me. This was intimacy at a level that brought back the greatest memories I ever had. Josh was the only man that had made me feel like I was special, even if we were only nineteen at the time. Those hours we spent together held more happiness then my two years with Lachlan. Josh had given me everything and, right now, in his apartment and on his bed, he was making me feel like that all over again. This had the potential to ruin me yet again, but this time I’d be ruined for all the right reasons.
“Please, Josh,” I whimpered as the pressure almost became too much.
“Beg for it, Ashy. Can you hear how wet you are? Do you know how fucking hot it makes me to hear my fingers deep inside you as I work your sweet pussy?”
Oh my god. “Josh, make me come. Now.”
“And you call me bossy,” he murmured, and dropped his thumb to my desperate clit.
His fingers continued to pound into me, hitting the spot every time, and his thumb rubbed my clit without missing a beat. The impending orgasm settled in the depths of my stomach and rumbled through my body like a brutal storm.
I crashed around his fingers, while humming his name. My body trembled in pure ecstasy, and I felt like I was floating away into a blissful state. Josh tucked my hair behind my ears, and I finally opened my eyes to look at him.
“You, Ashlyn Hart, are something else.”
He pulled me close to his chest, and I concentrated on the rhythm of his heart as my body lay limp in his arms.
With the last ounce of consciousness I could find, I whispered, “You, Josh Crawford, are something better.”
AS THE FIRST SIGNS of consciousness greeted me, the night before flashed in my memories and I sighed in contentment. Visions of Ashlyn withering on my bed, begging me to make her come, while my name fell from her lips, replayed in my mind, and I knew they would forever be etched in my thoughts. I wanted to fuck her last night, to claim her again, to make her mine, but I was man enough to realize the time wasn’t right. I could read her better than I could read anyone else. Her hesitation was palpable. Her heart and mind were bruised by the actions and constant fuck-ups of Lachlan, and I planned on spending my days and nights attempting to soothe her bruises and to bring her back to the Ashlyn I knew was still there. When I thought of her, I couldn’t help but think that even the prettiest gems had moments when they lose their sparkle.
Warmth on my bare chest awoke my senses, and the feeling of being under Ashlyn’s watchful gaze hit me. Our bodies were a tangle of limbs, and our heat draped each other like a blanket on a cold winter’s morning. Her body covered half of mine, and now as her chin was resting on my chest, she looked at me with the wide, inquisitive eyes.
“Mornin’ Ashy,” I said, my voice husky and thick from sleep.
She didn’t say a word, but her eyes latched onto my face and roamed freely over my features. Her silence was deafening and, to be honest, I was surprised she was still in my bed. I had expected her to flee sometime during the night and pretend that nothing happened.
“You,” she whispered, allowing her gaze to drop and linger on my mouth.
I tucked her hair behind her ear softly and repeated her statement, “You.”
“Last night, you kissed me.”
“And you kissed me back.”
“You also, oh shit.” Her cheeks tinted pink, and her eyes bounced away from mine.
“Gave you three orgasms? Yes I did that too.”
“Holy shit. Josh, fuck!”
Now it was time for the freak out to commence, so I loosened my arms from around her waist. Ashlyn pushed herself off the bed and started pacing my room, wearing the skimpiest of panties and a shirt that left very little to the imagination. All I wanted to do was pull her back to bed and remind her just how good she felt a few hours ago. Her eyes randomly flashed to mine, and then dropped back to the floor as she paced. I could only imagine what was circling around in her head. I propped myself up in bed with the sheet rested low on my hips, and I crossed my arms over my chest. I watched intently as she completely came undone with flashbacks of the night before. Her cheeks would tint briefly with pink, she’d pull her lip between her teeth, then she would mumble something so softly that I couldn’t make it out. I took complete pleasure in her reaction, because with the tainted cheeks and the lick of her lips, I knew she loved what she saw in her memories.
“That can’t happen again,” she mumbled, pointing back to the bed for added effect.
“It’s going to happen again, Ashy.”
“No, it will not. Keep your mouth and hands away from me and put on a damn shirt.”
I laughed at her craziness, then lifted my arms above my head and stretched. I knew the sheet fell down lower on my hips to reveal the deep V cut, because her eyes traveled with it and she licked her lips. Christ, she was killing me. Her soft groan of discomfort as she gazed over my body certainly didn’t discourage me. It was like throwing gasoline onto a raging fire and encouraging it to burn.
“Did you enjoy it?” I asked in a low voice.
She looked at me like I had lost my mind, like I had said the craziest thing she’d ever heard. Her hands fell to her hips and she stood in a what-the-fuck stance with narrowed eyes. Fuck, I loved her sass.
“Josh, I had three fucking orgasms, of course I liked it, but it can’t happen again. You were being all bossy and broody, and you know that makes me want to rip off my panties and yell ‘here, have at it’.”
With a huff, she rushed out of my room, and I heard the guestroom door slam. Within seconds, I hear
d it reopen, and then she stormed back into my room with a face of thunder. “Why didn’t you tell me I only had panties on?”
“Fuck me, I love it when you’re feisty. Do you really think I would tell you that you were standing in my room in panties with your sass flying off on all cylinders? Fuck no.”
“You are impossible.”
Once again, she stormed out. This time she disappeared into the bathroom and I heard the shower turn on. Still chuckling, I climbed out of bed, stepped into the living room, and made my way to the kitchen. I had an hour before I had to be at work, and I was in desperate need of coffee, considering a gorgeous blond with a greedy body kept me up most of the night.
I flicked through my emails and checked text messages while the coffee brewed. I was so distracted that I didn’t hear Ashlyn step into the kitchen until I heard her sigh loudly. My eyes shot up to find her staring at me with a frustrated look. She was dressed in skinny jeans and a shirt that hung off her shoulder, and her hair was piled on the top of her head. She had left her face completely bare, just the way I liked it.
“What’s wrong now? I haven’t said a word.”
“Do you own a shirt?” she asked in a voice that I didn’t like hearing from her. It was quiet, reserved, and nervous.
“Why are you freaking out?” I asked softly.
Finally, she allowed herself to look at me and indecision swam within her bright green eyes.
“Come here, Ash.”
To say I was surprised when she crossed the kitchen would be an understatement. When I opened my arms, she stepped in, and her arms circled my waist. Her head rested over my heart, and my chin rested on the top of her head. She smelled of shampoo and the perfume that sent my body into overdrive.
Ashlyn being in my arms felt incredibly right. I felt like comforting her and taking away her obvious fears and securities was what I was made to do, and what I would continue to do. I wasn’t going to hide the fact that I wanted more of last night . . . a lot more. Now that I had another taste of her and felt her body quiver under my touch, I went spiraling into the unknown. The only thing I knew was I wanted it again, and I would have it again.
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