by P. C. Cast
Chapter Twenty
I'm all for getting back where we belong, but your grandma should stay here, Aphrodite said suddenly. We don't know what all we're going to have to deal with at the House of Night. Did your visions show you something else? I asked, noticing that she was looking at Stevie Rae instead of me. Aphrodite shook her head slowly. No, I told you everything I saw in my visions. I just have a feeling, that's all. Stevie Rae laughed nervously. Well, heck, Aphrodite, we're all feelin' jumpy and on edge, which makes total sense. We just chased away some major booger monsters, but that's no reason to freak Zoey out. I'm not freaking her out, bumpkin, Aphrodite said.
I'm just being careful. It is wise to anticipate dangers, Darius said thoughtfully. Since there was nothing wrong with being careful, I opened my mouth to agree with both of them when Stevie Rae turned to Darius and in a cold, flat voice said, Just because you've sworn your Warrior's Oath to her doesn't mean you have to agree with everything she says. What? Stark said. You gave Aphrodite your Oath? Really? Damien said. Wow, too cool, Jack said. Erik snorted from the table behind us. I'm shocked Zoey let you and didn't just add you to her private collection. By that time I'd had enough. I yelled over at him, Oh, go to hell, Erik! Zoey! Sister Mary Angela gasped. Sorry, I muttered. Don't be sorry, Aphrodite said, glaring at Stevie Rae. Hell isn't a bad word. It's a place. And some people do need to be sent there. What? Stevie Rae said innocently. You didn't want everyone to know about you and Darius? My business is my business, Aphrodite said. Just like I was sayin' before, Kramisha nodded sagely. It just ain't right to put your personal business all out in public.
She turned her dark eyes on Stevie Rae. I know you our High Priestess and all, so I don't mean no disrespect, but I think you was raised better than that. Stevie Rae looked instantly contrite. You're right, Kramisha. I guess I didn't think it was that big a deal. I mean, everyone would know sooner or later. She smiled at me and shrugged her shoulders. A Warrior's Oath isn't exactly somethin' you can hide. She turned to Aphrodite. Sorry, I wasn't tryin' to be mean. I'm not interested in your apology. I'm not Zoey. I'm not going to automatically believe everything you say. Okay, enough! I shouted. Anger and frustration added power to my words, and I saw several kids flinch. All of you need to listen up and get something straight. We can't fight big, world- ending evil if we're bickering with each other! Stevie Rae and Aphrodite--get over the fact that you're Imprinted and learn not to embarrass each other.
I saw hurt in Aphrodite's eyes and shock in Stevie Rae's, but I kept going. Stevie Rae, don't keep important stuff from me, even if you think you have a good reason to. I looked squarely at Erik, who had turned around in his chair so he could stare at me. And Erik, we have lots bigger problems than you being pissed I dumped you. I heard Stark chuckle and I rounded on him. You don't get a free pass, either. Stark raised his hands like he was surrendering. I'm just laughing because Erik the Great got put in his place. Which is real crappy of you since you can feel how much this whole thing with you and Erik and Heath has hurt my feelings. Stark's cocky smile faded. Darius, it's an icy mess out there, but do you think you can drive the Hummer back to the House of Night? I asked. I do, said the warrior. Who's good on a horse? Instantly several hands went up like I was a mean teacher and they were all scared of being in trouble. Shaunee, you and Erin can ride the horse you got here on. I looked around at the kids still holding up their hands. Johnny B, can you and Kramisha double on the other mare? Yep, we can, he said.
Kramisha nodded briskly, and they both put down their hands. Stark, you can ride behind me on Persephone, I said without looking at him. Damien, Jack, Aphrodite, Shannoncompton, Venus, and . . . I stared at a brunette red fledgling whose name I absolutely could not remember. Sophie, Stevie Rae said hesitantly, like she was scared I might snap her head off. And Sophie. You guys go with Darius in the Hummer. I looked at Stevie Rae. Can you be sure the rest of the red fledglings and Erik get to the House of Night safely? If that's what you want me to do, then that's what I'll do, she said. Good. Finish breakfast and then let's go home. I stood up and took in all the nuns with one long look. I appreciate you helping us more than I'll ever be able to tell you. As long as I'm alive, the Benedictine Sisters will have a High Priestess as a friend.
Then I turned to leave. As I passed Stark, I saw him start to get up, but I caught his eyes and shook my head. I'm going to say bye to Grandma--by myself. I could see that I'd hurt him, but he only saluted me respectfully and said, As you wish, my lady. Ignoring the silence I left in my wake, I walked out of the room, alone. So, u-we-tsi-a-ge-ya, you made everyone angry? Grandma said after listening to me rant while I paced back and forth beside her bed. Well, not everyone. I hurt some people's feelings instead of making them mad. Grandma studied me for a long time. When she finally spoke her words were typically simple but straight to the point. That is unlike you, so you must have had a good reason for acting so out of character. Well, I'm scared and confused. Yesterday I felt like a High Priest-ess. Today I'm just a kid again. I have boyfriend issues and a best friend who's been keeping stuff from me.
All that means is neither you nor Stevie Rae is perfect, Grandma said. But how do I know that's all it means? What if I'm a shallow ho and Stevie Rae's gone evil? Only time will show whether your trust in Stevie Rae has been misplaced. And I think you should stop being so hard on yourself for being attracted to more than one boy. You're making good judgments about the relationships in your life. From what you've said, Erik's behavior was controlling and boorish. There are many young women who would have ignored all of that because he's, how do you put it, so hot!" Grandma did a bad teenage imitation. You'll learn to balance Heath and Stark, many High Priestesses do. Or you won't, and you'll decide committing yourself to one man is the right path for you. But, darling, that is something you have many, many years to decide. I suppose you're right, I said.
Of course I'm right. I'm old. Which means I can also tell there's more bothering you than boys or Stevie Rae. What is it, Zoeybird? I had a memory of A-ya, Grandma. Grandma's sharp intake of breath was the only outward sign of her inward shock. Did the memory involve Kalona? Yes. Was it pleasant or unpleasant? Both! It started out as terrifying, but as I got closer and closer to A-ya, it changed. She loved him, Grandma. And I could feel that. Grandma nodded and spoke slowly. Yes, u-we-tsi-a-ge-ya, that makes sense. A-ya was created to love him. It scares me and makes me feel out of control! I cried. Sssh, daughter, Grandma soothed. We are all affected by our pasts, but it is within our power not to let what we have done dictate what we will do. Even at a soul-deep level? Especially at a soul-deep level. Ask yourself where is it your great gifts originate.
Well, from Nyx, I said. And did the goddess gift your body or your soul? My soul, of course. My body's just a shell for my soul. I was surprised at the firmness of my voice. I blinked in surprise. I have to remember it's my soul now, and treat A-ya like I would any memory from my past. Grandma smiled. Ah, there, I knew you'd find your center again. When you make mistakes, whether they are from this life or another, learn from them--then they become opportunities. Not if my mistakes let Kalona burn up the world, I thought, and almost said aloud, but just then Grandma closed her eyes. She looked so tired and hurt and old that it made my stomach clench and feel more than a little sick.
I'm sorry I dumped all this on you, Grandma, I said. She opened her eyes and patted my hand. Don't ever be sorry for speaking your mind to me, u- we-tsi-a-ge-ya. I kissed Grandma lightly on her forehead, being careful not to hurt any of her cuts and bruises. I love you, Grandma. And I love you, u-we-tsi-a-ge-ya. Go with the Goddess, and the blessings of our ancestors. " My hand had just touched the doorknob when her voice rang between us, sounding strong and sure and wise as ever. Hold to the truth, u-we-tsi-a-ge-ya. Do not ever forget, as our people have always known, there is a deep power in words that speak the truth. I'll try my best, Grandma. And that is all I will ever ask of you, my Zoeybird.