by Soraya Naomi
I hear the crunch of Ramón’s bone breaking as his body bangs against the wall and his earsplitting screams echo around the room.
Throwing the hammer onto the floor, I drive my fist into his nose, over and over, pouring every bit of my wrath into my punches. The blows splinter through my knuckles, and I relish it. His blood splatters on my face, and his head thumps against the wall behind him as it slouches back from my beating. Son of a bitch thinks he can scare Fallon. “No one threatens Fallon. Look. At. Me.” I fist his hair roughly.
Ramón’s eyes focus on me as blood trickles from his nose and mouth. Suddenly, I smell urine and look down to see him soiling himself.
“Don’t you wish you knew when to shut the fuck up instead of provoking people when you are the one tied up?” I bang his head against the wall and take the hammer from the floor to prepare for another blow to his knee. “Have you had enough?” I spit through my tense breathing.
“Pl-please...stop,” he stammers pathetically.
When I study his battered face, I lower my arm and decide that he has had enough, for now. I toss the hammer into the sink, turn on the faucet, and scrub my face. Removing the plastic gown, I check to ensure I’m clean of any blood.
“Am I spotless?” I ask Adriano to check me over.
He scans me up and down. “Yes.”
“Come,” I order, and Adriano accompanies me to my car. “Leave him hanging there until morning. Then burn his body. Let Leggia wonder what happened to Ramón.”
“Harsh,” Adriano mutters.
I glare at him in aggravation. “He came too close to her, Adriano.”
“I know. But, Luca, I’ve never once seen you lose control. Tonight, you came fairly close.”
I brace my neck, trying to ease the tautness. “I don’t know how to keep her safe without eliminating all the threats.”
Adriano sighs and drops it, changing the subject. “Where’s James, by the way? I haven’t seen him in two weeks.”
“James is too busy with organizing everything behind the scenes for our business in southern Illinois. He and Salvatore have to set up the financial routes. Even I barely speak to him, which currently suits me fine. I don’t know how long I can keep our boss in the dark about Fallon. But right now, I have to get back before she wakes up.”
***
The cottage is still dark when I return and Fallon hasn’t called me. In total, I’ve been gone forty minutes.
Slipping back inside, I strip my clothes in the hall and open the bedroom door. She’s sleeping in the exact same position as when I left her. Quietly, I fold my clothes and leave them on the chair as they were before and step into the bathroom to check one more time for any blood remnants.
Then I crawl into the bed behind her warm body, and her hair tickles my nose. She’s only wearing panties, and I glide my hand over the curve of her hip, a little too roughly in my still decreasing furious state, as her fragrance evaporates my demons of this hellish night.
Fallon rouses and turns, curling into me and throwing her leg over my hip to push her core against my boxer briefs. I feel and smell her arousal, and I harden instantly.
Her eyes flutter open. “Hmm, you’re horny...” she murmurs in a husky tone that makes my erection twitch.
So I nudge down her panties to take them off and skim my fingers back up the inside of her thigh to hook her leg higher over my hip as I ghost my lips over her cheeks while she moans. I probe between her legs, circling her wetness with two fingers, and Fallon discards my boxers, stroking me with her addictive touch. Grasping her leg that’s hooked over me, I gather her closer, rubbing my hard-on over her wetness before I drive inside her in one hard shove, swallowing her cry with a claiming kiss. Her head rests on the pillow on my extended arm, and I cup it to draw her into my kiss while, with my other hand, I grip Fallon’s ass to fuck her hard as her nails dig into my chest.
“Luca,” she groans.
I close my eyes, and visions of the men I’ve killed invade my mind, so I shake my head to lose the thoughts as I seek to banish my actions of tonight. I breathe my exertion of our fucking and my love for her into the hollow of her neck while thrusting into her sweet, tight body.
“Luca. Luca.” Fallon’s hands rest on my chest. “Luca, where are you right now? Where is your mind?”
I keep my thrusts brutal with my eyes secured shut. I won’t give her up. I need to protect her.
The next thing I know, her hands, no longer on my chest, are pushing me away. “Luca,” Fallon whisper-yells. “Stop it.” Two warm hands cover my cheeks. “Come back to me.”
Her soft voice breaks my trance, and I open my eyes to meet her worried ones. I freeze immediately, blinking and burying my head in her cleavage as I pull out of her.
Fallon hugs my neck and plows her fingers through my hair. “Where did you go, Luca?”
“I’m back,” I assure and look up into her face as I brush her hair away with my fingertips.
“What happened?” Her expression is filled with concern. “You were suddenly a million miles away.”
“I’m scared of losing you, dolcezza.” I reveal the truth, partly.
“I’m fine.” She takes my hand and places it over her heart. “We had a scare today, but I didn’t realize it bothered you that much. You should’ve talked to me.”
“It bothers the fuck out of me. Ti amo così tanto. I love you so much.” I press my lips to her hand that’s on her heart. “It scared me.”
“Me too, initially. And I love you very much too. But we’re together, and I’m fine, and that’s what I keep reminding myself.” She pauses in thought before continuing. “Is something else going on?”
Maybe I should start telling the truth, but I can’t disclose how I handled her stalker, because she won’t be able to understand or cope with that kind of violence. Fallon has never been exposed to the cruelty of this world before, so I lie to placate her, “I’ll keep reminding myself of that too from now on. Let’s go back to sleep.”
My actions of earlier are another vision added to the nightmares that haunt me. Only, my nightmares not only haunt me by night, but also by day. Fallon’s in danger twenty-four-seven by association with me now.
Tired from worrying, I entwine our legs, and as she holds on to me, I rest my ear between her breasts so that I can listen to her heartbeat while she falls back asleep.
I should’ve stayed away from her.
CHAPTER 20
Fallon
A shift in our relationship follows. On the days when Luca’s out of town, it becomes even more problematic to reach him. He either doesn’t answer his phone or it takes hours for him to return my calls, and his absentmindedness alarms me once in a while. He’s woven a carefully crafted façade of quiet confidence; one that’s always preserved, except for the few times I catch him off guard. In those moments, I wonder if I’m enough for him. Maybe he’s becoming bored with me? But then he manages to make tender love to me, which restores my faith in our relationship.
Until I start catching him in lie after lie. Until I realize that our minor altercations when we first met were signs I should’ve never ignored. Until I realize I never knew him at all.
***
Saturday morning, I’m warming up to go running alone since Luca’s away on business. I’m starting at nine a.m. or else it’ll be too hot in the blistering heat of summer.
Instead of taking my standard route, I head for the park with my earbuds in and my bottle of water in hand. The park is fairly busy, so I run to a more isolated area and pass by several churches where I decide to take a break. Out of breath, I cool off a little and gulp my water as sweat trickles down my spine. While I’m jumping up and down slowly in my spot, I watch several churchgoers exiting the church across the street and halt promptly when I see a familiar man descending the church steps. I remove my earbuds and quickly hide behind a tree before Luca has a chance to notice me.
He’s supposed to be out of town.
Luca steps as
ide to let a woman pass and puts his sunglasses on as a priest walks up to him. He kisses the priest on the cheek and says something in his ear, all the while gripping the priest’s head. Then Luca’s right hand slides into his jacket pocket.
Is he threatening the priest?
Luca releases him, and after the priest nods and leaves hurriedly, obviously upset, Luca goes to his car.
Like a stalker, I inspect his every move until he drives away. But in the meantime, I’m lightheaded from all the thoughts raging inside me.
What’s he doing in a church with a priest? Is this the first time he’s lied about a business trip?
I’m still perspiring, not from my run but from the shock of catching him, and it takes me well over thirty minutes before I’m standing at my front door, feeling numb. The unknown is hitting me hard.
Once inside, I become angry and call Teagan. Dazed, I sit at the kitchen table.
“Babe, I was asleep. This better be good,” Teagan answers in a sleepy voice, but I’m silent. “Fall? Are you there?” she asks, louder now.
“Yeah. I’m here.” Why was she sleeping? It’s midday in London. “Isn’t it the middle of the day there?”
“Yes, but I’m lazy. Fall, what’s wrong?”
“I’m not sure, Teagan.”
“Sweetie, what happened? Are you okay? Are you home?” Typical Teagan, firing a bunch of questions at me all at once.
Her concern envelops me in a warm hug, making me feel loved. “Yes, I’m home. I’m fine, physically. I just caught Luca twenty minutes from here at a church, when he’s supposedly out of town.”
“You caught him? You mean with another woman?” Teagan probes.
“No, not with a woman. I caught him in a lie. He’s supposed to have been at a business conference out of town since yesterday, but I just saw him, this morning, here in the Loop.” I can’t even wrap my mind around it yet.
“That’s weird. He told you he would be away for the weekend? What did you see exactly?”
“Yes, he said he’d be away.” I exhale tersely. “I was so shocked at seeing him. It blindsided me. I couldn’t confront him right there. And now I’m pissed at myself because I should’ve put him on the spot then and there. I was running through the park and saw him exiting a church. He talked to a priest, and they had – what appeared to be – an intense conversation, and then he left.”
“Okay...Maybe there’s a perfectly good explanation. Is he religious? What was he doing at the church?”
“As far as I know, he isn’t religious. And why would he keep that from me? If he was, I wouldn’t mind.” I play with the edges of a paperback lying on the table.
“True.”
Yet my anger isn’t dissipating but increasing. “I thought about calling him now to check to see if he’d lie about his whereabouts.”
“Yes. Do that,” she agrees.
“I wanted to talk to you first before my anger took over. I’m going to shower, and then I’m calling him.”
“Okay, let me know what he says.”
“Go back to sleep, babe. Sorry for waking you.”
“Don’t,” she warns. “You can call me any time. Look, I don’t know him, but from what you’ve told me, he really loves you, so don’t jump to conclusions before you’ve talked to him.”
I make a noncommittal sound of disapproval and palm my forehead to lessen the pain of an impending headache. “I-I don’t know; something’s off. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay. Call me after you’ve talked to him.”
“Yeah,” I say and hang up.
Not a minute later, after I just sit and stare ahead, my phone rings: Luca. I inhale deeply to compose myself. “Hey.”
“Dolcezza, what are you doing?”
He’s still in his car, because I recognize the background noise. “I was just about to jump into the shower. Why?” My lip quivers, but I try to sound calm.
“I have a surprise for you,” he states.
“Okay...”
“I’m back already.”
Interesting. “In town?” I’m not divulging that I caught him yet.
“Yes. I actually had to drop something off near your apartment. I grabbed a quick bite, and now I’m on my way to you. I missed you.”
I release a sigh, both pleased and displeased. But my mind is screaming at me that he’s telling a half-truth while my heart is shouting to believe him. And my heart is dominating my mind. I hate myself for my overruling thought. Everything is clouded by my love for this guy.
Still, the insecurity and distrust have taken root in my mind. Why did he have a heated tête-à-tête with a priest? For once, Luca’s dark mood is emulated by me. If I confront him now, I’m positive he won’t be completely honest. My gut instinct is telling me to store this away for later, to not let him know I saw him at the church. To let him think I’m none the wiser.
Feeling confused and suspicious, I realize I don’t want to see him now. “Luca, I already had plans for today. After my shower, I’m going out.”
He’s disconcertingly quiet, letting on that he’s surprised by my reaction. “Will you be gone the entire day?”
“Probably.”
Most likely considering his reply, after another silence, Luca asks in a severe manner, “What do you have planned?”
Not actually having any plans, I utter the first thing that comes to mind that could be remotely true, “I’m meeting Jason.”
“Jason?” he repeats and waits for me to elaborate.
“I’m going to a new book store. Jason, a colleague from work, offered to accompany me.” Nervousness fills my stomach when another awkward silence ensues. Desperate to be alone with my thoughts, I continue. “I’m sorry, Luca, but I have to shower and leave. We’ll talk tonight?”
“Fallon.” There’s a desolate tremble in his voice.
“Let’s talk later, okay?” I persist and end our conversation.
Then I lean back against my seat as an unnerving feeling cuts through me. I bite my bottom lip in frustration before heading toward the shower.
Standing under the scorching heat of my shower for a long time, I let the water cascade down on me, hoping it will rinse away these overwhelming feelings of wariness. But unfortunately, I’m not feeling any better after I’ve dried off and shriek when I enter my room naked.
Luca’s sitting on my bed with his elbows resting on his knees, hands folded together, scowling at the floor. But his gaze snaps up when he hears me.
I clutch a fist to my chest. “Don’t scare me like that.”
I gave Luca a key months ago, but he’s never used it without calling first.
Since he doesn’t talk, I hesitantly close the distance. We both know something’s wrong. Is he lying, or am I misjudging the entire situation and ruining our love for no good reason?
Luca palms the back of my thighs, pulling me close, and he leans his forehead against my abdomen. In reaction, I lace my fingers through his hair as he draws in a long, tormented breath and rubs his stubble-covered cheek against my stomach.
“What’s going on, Fallon?” Luca asks in that desolate tone.
“You tell me,” I counter.
His hands on my thighs stiffen momentarily, and he looks up as his eyes narrow in suspicion. “Cosa intendi dire? What do you mean?”
When Luca’s pissed or being passionate, he has a tendency to switch to Italian. I frown at his defensive tone and obvious discontented physical reaction. Normally, he’s a master at hiding those emotions.
But as I stay quiet, he sighs in defeat. “I have to leave again tonight. I came to spend time with you, and you’re mad for some reason. Perciò dimmi, cosa c'è che non va? So, tell me, what’s wrong?”
I try to move away from him, but he holds on, so I pry his hands off my thighs. Calmly, I put on my panties and bra before I unleash my anger on him. “Why is it difficult to reach you when you’re away? When we first started dating, you were always available, or you at least had the decency to text
me to let me know when you’d call back.”
He’s stunned by my question. “That’s what this is about? I have businesses, Fallon. Sometimes I’m in meetings where it would be rude for me to text. But if that bothers you, I will from now on,” he says with guarded gentleness.
His reply doesn’t alleviate my reservations whatsoever, so I start pacing in front of him. When we first met, there were several occasions when I doubted Luca’s honesty. I found it odd that he isn’t on social media; he only has business social media accounts. I found it strange when Gina was at his place and he and Adriano reacted the way they did. And the business trips he goes on are suspect. That voice of doubt is yelling at me to stop being ignorant. Ask him!
I try to work up some courage and meet his eyes. “Is there something else you’re not telling me?”
Luca disregards my question and stands up in one quick move, clasping my face in both hands, and says, “Ti amo. Esisti solo tu per me.” I love you. You’re the only one for me.
“Speak English!” I insist when he forgets to translate for me.
“You’re my pleasure, my sanity, my calmness, my home. My positive counterpart to every negative characteristic I have.”
“Then why do I have this distressing feeling that you’re always holding back?”
“I’m not sure, Fallon, but it hurts me when you’re hurting. How do I make that feeling disappear?” He rests his forehead against mine.
“I don’t know,” I reveal honestly and edge backward. Utterly confused about this situation, I need to be alone, so I continue with my lie. “We’ll have to discuss it later. I have to dress and go.”
Concern spreads through his entire composure when he sees me shutting him out. “Do you want me to leave?”
“Yes,” I answer evenly and approach my closet.
But his fingers wrap around my upper arm to stop me and I glance back at him, yet he doesn’t say a word. The pain in his eyes wounds my heart. Only, that pain is swiftly replaced by his mask, the controlled concealment of his emotions restored. And it’s this change in him that has me terrified that something bigger is going on here, so I turn around to my closet.