by Soraya Naomi
After several minutes – still nothing. I turn around and twist my hand in the air to let Adriano know that this is becoming a cluster fuck when I’m granted access. Hurriedly, I push through the entrance and ascend the stairs to her already-opened front door.
Wade welcomes me with an extended hand. “Richard Wade, a friend of Fallon’s.”
“Luca.” I return the gesture with a firm handshake and peek into the kitchen and down the hall for any signs of her.
“She’s not feeling well, man. Go easy.” He indicates toward the bedroom.
I’m tempted to say fuck off but hold it in and cross the distance between Fallon and me.
I spot her in bed with the red covers drawn up to her chin.
“What happened?” I close the door behind me and sit on her bed.
Her drowsy, swollen eyes hold a desperately sad glow that shatters my heart.
“Where were you?” she asks quietly and huddles deeper under her sheet.
“I’ve been looking for you since I discovered that Collopy was killed.” I crave to touch her, comfort her because she looks so delicate right now. “Why is Wade here? I went to the police station; they said you weren’t brought in.”
“Wade’s on our side. He’s helping me.”
Her mention of our side gives me a wave of satisfaction, but that’s negated by the Wade comment. “Did you tell him anything?” I whisper, wanting to know if she’s disclosed any Syndicate information.
“No, but he knows I’m being framed. I know he’s not on your payroll; he’s one of the good guys.”
Wait! So I’m still one of the bad guys? Rubbing my fingers over my chin, I wonder what I’m missing because she’s acting strange. Suddenly, Wade’s her ally, and he’s inside her apartment, even though she’s been increasingly distrustful since everything went to hell between us.
“Where have you been for the last few hours?” I ask.
“Hospital with Wade.”
“Dr. Calderone said you left.”
“I didn’t.” She rolls onto her back and winces. “I’m so exhausted and in pain. Can we talk tomorrow?”
I frown as I gaze down at her. She’s hiding something from me. And the one thing I can’t handle is when she lies to me. “Did you take your medication?”
She nods and closes her eyes slowly.
“I can stay,” I offer.
Damn it, I want to stay with her because we were finally on somewhat normal speaking terms again this morning. And I want to know what’s rattling inside that head of hers.
“No need.” Her eyes remain closed.
“Is he staying?” I demand to know in a low voice because you can bet your ass that if he is, I’m not leaving.
She huffs out a breath. “Of course not.”
Seeing her in this exhausted state with her battered nose and red-rimmed eyes forces me to control myself to avoid a confrontation. I can’t argue now, anyway, because Wade’s in the next room.
“Fine. We’ll both leave now and let you rest.” Wade is not staying here after I leave. “I’ll call you in the morning.”
Maybe in the morning we can discuss the situation. Right now, she’s too tired to talk.
With an almost imperceptible nod, she dismisses me, but I keep my sight on her. Sometimes she’s so easy to figure out, and sometimes she’s this enigma I can’t decipher. And that annoys and excites me at the same time. It’s wisest for me to reel in my emotions and not grill Wade for answers until I’ve spoken to her tomorrow, so I step out.
Wade’s already standing at the door.
“She’s asleep,” I say, and we head out.
“Good, she needs to rest.”
Neither of us speaks until the winter’s night air hits our skin.
“I bet I’ll be seeing you around,” I taunt. Before he can reply, I cross the street and look back once to see him get into his car, which is parked in front of the entrance, and drive away.
Walking to Adriano, whose window rolls down, I share what happened. “I have absolutely no idea what the deal is. She was listening to me, following orders just this morning. We were definitely at a turning point, and now she suddenly does a one-eighty again. She was so...detached.”
He angles his head to the side. “Did she send both of you away?”
“She sent me away. I don’t know if she also told him to go, but I’m coming back here first thing tomorrow morning.” I swipe a hand down my face and shiver from the cold. “Go home. We can’t do anything tonight. I’m going home too.”
CHAPTER 20
Fallon
The moment Luca and Wade slip out, I run to the living room and wait while watching my front door. After minutes of staring at it, I get a cup of Earl Grey and resume my vigil from the couch.
Wade and I went to the hospital where another doctor examined me while Wade stayed by my side. All I wanted was to shower, but I knew I had to take several tests if I wanted to press charges. I didn’t care about any of that; however, Wade convinced me to stay calm and follow procedure in case I changed my mind in the future. Thankfully, the tests came back negative, and that asshole didn’t give me any STDs.
Hugging my knees to my chest, I curl up on the couch and try to hold myself together, still not understanding everything I’ve been through tonight.
Wade took me home after I was finished at the hospital, and only then did I check my phone and see Luca’s missed calls, so I knew he must be on his way. And of course, within half an hour, he was at my doorstep. Hysteria rushed through me because I didn’t want anyone to know about my assault, especially Luca.
What would they think? How would they react?
For now, Wade indulged me, so we arranged for him to leave with Luca and then come back since I was positive Luca wouldn’t leave me with Wade.
Biting my lip, I swallow back tears because I’m confused about why I didn’t confide in Luca. After so long apart, he’s still the one person I long for to comfort me, but I just don’t want him to know I was abused.
My god, I was raped. I was violated. I feel filthy.
I feel like I’m falling over an edge, falling deeper and deeper with nothing to hold on to, so I cling to the first person that helped me.
Just as we agreed, Wade returns and knocks softly before using the key I gave him.
“Come in.” I let him know I’m already waiting.
He scrutinizes me after closing and locking the door. “How did it go?”
I shrug. “Luca knows something’s up, but I think he didn’t want to start an argument with you here.”
This night flew by, and I realize that I don’t know anything about this guy, except that I do trust him. Without him, who knows how many more horrors I would’ve had to go through.
He stands uncomfortably and breaks the awkward silence. “I tampered with Collopy’s file and locked it. No one can make changes without going through me. You’re no longer a suspect, and I’m your alibi.”
“Aren’t there going to be questions that will get you into trouble?”
“From whom? They’re all crooked cops. Everyone bends the rules in this precinct. It’s time I bend the rules to help someone who deserves it, someone who’s innocent.” He hesitates to continue. “I’ll probably get suspended, but it’s also a possibility that I won’t because they want to avoid the public scandal they know I’ll cause since I’m – as far as I know – one of the few not on the Syndicate’s payroll.”
There’s much more to Wade than I initially perceived. A genuine kindness that compels him to help a woman in distress. I do wonder why he’s been so helpful, but right now, I just accept it – I’m too broken and withdrawn to ask why.
He rounds the couch and takes a seat beside me. “What do you want to do about Ashton?”
A shudder runs up my spine, and I rest my cheek against my pulled up knees. “I...I don’t know. I don’t want to talk or even think about that.”
“Okay. I’ll stay with you tonight. You’re not safe, Fall
on. I don’t want to scare you because you’ve been through hell, but we have to talk tomorrow.”
I don’t acknowledge his words as the numbness spreads deeper into me.
All of a sudden, he asks the question I was expecting. “Who’s Luca? Your boyfriend?”
“Ex.” My voice is weak.
“He doesn’t give his last name when he introduces himself.”
Luca rarely gives his last name because he’s extremely mistrustful of everyone, but I don’t divulge that to Wade. I’m thankful for his help, but I won’t betray Luca.
When I don’t respond, Wade probes, “But you still talk to him?”
“Why do you want to know?” I sit up straight again.
“I had to look into your past and found out you two dated for six months or something.”
“Yeah. So?”
“Well, nothing...I don’t want to make you more upset, but it seems like you’re still in love with him, and he arranged some things in the hospital for you. He’s very protective of you. Was he supposed to help you tonight?”
“Why?” I repeat and disregard his question.
“While you were being arrested, he was at a gala event...with a woman.”
And just when I believe I couldn’t possibly feel any worse, I hit another level of rock bottom. Luca told me he had business to take care of, but he was at an event with a date?
“How do you know?” I ask.
Pulling his phone from his pocket, he shows me a picture from the internet. It’s Luca in a black tux with a Latina beauty on his arm, and Adriano’s also in the picture with another woman. At this point, I’m just numb and all that comes out is a soft sigh.
“Is he part of the Syndicate?” Wade continues with his questions.
Don’t let him interrogate you while you’re in this state, Fallon.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s a friend who’s an ex, that’s all. That’s why he’s protective; we’re still dealing with our break-up.” I’m done with this, so I rise to grab some blankets and a pillow for Wade.
“Fallon.” He tries to apologize when I return with the bedding.
“Please, no more talk. Thank you for staying...and for everything.” The tears I’ve been keeping at bay build again.
“Not a problem. Wake me if you need anything.” He takes the blanket from my hands, and I return to my bedroom.
Even though I showered the second I walked through my door, I decide to shower again because I can still feel Ashton’s hands on my skin. When the water fails to clean him from my body, I fight the urge to call Luca. I fight the urge to call my parents, because I don’t want the people I love to know. It would break my parents, and although I long for Luca to take care of me, he would be out for blood.
Never would I have imagined that seeing each other yesterday would bring us closer together, especially after Luca left with the waitress. He immediately helped me when I was attacked by Collopy, or so I assumed, but the picture of him and the Latina model has raised doubts again. But that’s the least of my worries right now.
How am I ever going to get rid of Ashton’s filthy touch?
I get up once more during the night to take another shower, but that doesn’t lessen the repulsion of being violated at all. I read once that rape is one of the worst things that could happen to a woman; they were right. Although my body has been scrubbed clean repeatedly, I still have an overwhelming sense of dirtiness and despair.
***
The night has been unendurably long. Because I woke up drenched in sweat from the recurring dream I’ve been having lately, I changed into a blue satin nightgown. I didn’t have a nightmare about Ashton; it was that recurring nightmare where I’m stuck in some kind of box.
Acute angst consumes me when a knock on the door jolts me upright. I sprint out of bed because it could be my parents. No, wait. What time is it? I check the clock on my phone – it’s only 8 a.m. They would never be able to get here by this time unless they left the house ridiculously early.
Grating my teeth, I look down at all the bruises on my body as I tiptoe down the hall. I’ve avoided the mirrors in my bedroom and bathroom because it sickens me to see the proof of abuse from Collopy and Ashton.
Wade stirs awake and grunts as a second knock follows.
“Fallon?” Luca’s voice comes through the door.
Shit! Why is he here? He won’t be happy to see Wade.
I peer over at Wade who’s barely covered in his black boxers, and he smirks, so I lift my pointer finger to my lips. He has no idea what Luca is capable of, and he thinks this is funny?
“What?” He rubs a hand over his head.
I throw out my arm, motioning in the direction of the street and whisper, “He needs to leave.”
He points at himself. “Want me to scare him away?”
That actually gets a small smile from me. Seriously? He thinks he can scare Luca away? Wade’s a well-built man, and he obviously works out a lot, but he’s no match for Luca.
While I go blank and just stand there in the hopes that Luca will leave, a key turns in the lock.
My eyes widen as Wade comments, “Smarty pants, he still has your keys.” And he sits up just as the door opens.
I’m standing next to the couch in my thin nightgown with my nipples peeking through, Wade is in his boxers sitting on my couch, and Luca enters with a look that could incinerate both of us. None of us speak as Wade and Luca glare at each other.
Then Luca kicks the door shut and lets the key dangle from his finger. “I still have a key.” His scowl is focused on Wade, but he speaks to me, and then he pockets it casually. “Well, well, well, I wasn’t invited to this party.” His piercing stare switches to me while he clenches his jaw. Arrows of pure jealousy fly from his eyes.
I hug my arms around my chest. “Why are you here this early?”
He leans back against the door and calmly answers, “To talk to you, to help you.”
“I needed the help yesterday when you were on a date.” Straightaway, I berate myself for throwing that in his face.
The lines of his profile harden instantly. He jerks his head to the bedroom, and without saying a word, expects me to follow him.
“Tell him,” Wade urges softly before I go after Luca.
Luca holds my bedroom door open and closes it after I cross the threshold. “Please tell me there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”
I shake my head while perched on my bed.
“Apparently you’re all clear, and Wade”—he gestures to the next room—“is your alibi. Are you fucking him?”
I lift a hand to my brow and push against it while expelling a pained breath. “No. Why are you here?”
Luca inches toward me. “What happened last night?”
“You already know.”
“I don’t.” He undoes the button of his maroon suit jacket and sinks down on his haunches in front of me.
We lock eyes, and so many memories rush to the surface.
“Why didn’t you come for me last night?” I ask, despondent.
Luca places his hands beside my hips on the bed. “I did come for you. I told you that.”
A rock lodges in my throat, and I swallow back my anguish. “You were out, at an event.”
He breaks eye contact to stare outside before answering in a tormented tone, “Is this about the woman? Yes, I was out, but it was business, and as soon as I could, I left. We hadn’t spoken in months before I saw you Friday, Fallon. You can’t act like I was cheating.”
He’s completely clueless, and I can’t blame him, but I can’t get myself to say it, so I do what’s easiest for me now; I push him away. “You can’t act like I am cheating here either.”
“Why did Wade come back? Why is he sleeping on your couch? You wanted protection apparently. From whom?”
“Maybe from you,” I snap, fed up with answering questions.
His mocking laugh stuns me. “Are you really going to do this? Again
?” he whisper-shouts and rises quickly.
His eyes flash a warning, but I ignore it. “Just leave.”
Luca twists his mouth to one side and shoves his hands in his pockets while his penetrating glare is on me. “I can’t believe I let you back in. For two days, I allow you back into my life, and you already fuck with my head, and now you have the nerve to shut me out again because I wasn’t at the hospital on time?” He pauses as his chest heaves in growing annoyance. “What the fuck is between you and Wade?”
The searing torment I’m in keeps me from ending both our misery. “Nothing.”
I don’t want to punish Luca. I just desperately need to cope with the events of last night alone. The corded muscles in his neck betray his menacing mood, and his severe stance intimidates me, but I’m not strong enough at this moment to confide in him. Organizing my jumbled thoughts is impossible, and I can’t muster the courage to speak the truth out loud and accept the fact that I was violated.
“If I walk out that door, I’m not coming back. This is your last chance to talk,” Luca warns while my heart is screaming to disclose the horrific truth.
Nevertheless, my stare remains fixed on the wooden floor, and tears drip on my thighs while Luca waits for an answer he will never get.
Turning, he opens the door and without looking back, he snarls, “Don’t ever ask for my help again.” And he slams the door shut.
Scooting back on my bed, I curl into myself when Wade comes in and covers me with the blanket.
“Try to sleep. I’ll be here,” he comforts me.
Rolling onto my back, I face him as my tears fall uncontrollably. “Why are you so nice and helpful to me, Wade?” He’s kind of the big brother I’ve always wished for, but we really barely even know each other.
His fingers trace the wrinkles of the sheet. “You remind me of my little sister. She was a timid girl with a wild side. And there’s also a physical resemblance.”
I grimace at his comparison because I don’t think I’m very wild, just plain boring lately.
“She got caught up with the wrong people, which ultimately got her killed before she turned seventeen,” Wade explains.
I cover his hand with mine in a show of compassion. All I can give him is empathy for his loss by sharing his grief silently. Just as he shares my grief from last night.