by Piper Rayne
He shrugs. “Both, but he seemed to put extra attention on you. Listen, you’re twenty-nine now. I think it’s time you do something for you. So…” He hands me the contract. “If you want us to do this, then I’m in. But I want you to think hard and make this decision, because this could change your relationship with Seth. Especially if he gets wind of this before you tell him.”
He pats my knee and stands. “I have a lot of regrets in my life. I’m not proud of some of my actions. It was a quick revelation when I had the heart attack that you don’t have all the time you think you do to make things right. You’re supposed to teach your children to learn from your mistakes. I don’t think I’ve done a good job of that. Until now. Make this decision for yourself. And hell, this isn’t the nineteen-fifties—if you love the boy, tell him. Don’t wait for him to tell you.” He touches my shoulder and walks down the path toward the car.
I stare at the contract in my hands. The buyout alone would put my entire family in a much better financial position. We wouldn’t have to worry about Eli’s medical bills and therapy sessions. Elsie could leave community college and go to a four-year school with room and board. And I’d be out of the bagel business. No more early mornings and hairnets or cramps in my hands.
But all that flashes in my mind is Seth. I know he’d understand if I did this.
Fishing my phone out of my purse, I pull up his contact, smiling at the fact that I never changed his name.
Me: Can we meet before the party?
The three dots appear but disappear immediately. I wait for a text to come through, but it doesn’t. I thought he said he wasn’t working today. This entire week, he’s ventured out to take pictures of Cliffton Heights for his portfolio for the gallery on Monday. Maybe he’s just busy.
Me: Call me when you can.
I stuff my phone into my purse, walking around the lake and trying to remember what it is I love to do. When the possibility of starting on a path toward your dream career is placed in your lap, it’s hard to figure out what would bring true happiness. Especially when my mind is preoccupied with Seth and how much I love him. My dad saw right through me and I’m thinking everyone else did too. Everyone but Seth.
Later that evening, I still haven’t heard from Seth except a message to say he’s running late and he’ll meet me at Porterhouse.
I drive over with my parents and Eli, wishing it was Seth I was pulling up to the restaurant with. The sensation in my gut says something isn’t right. But maybe it’s just because after this party, I plan on telling Seth exactly how I feel about him. I have no idea what my future looks like, but I want him in it.
Once we’re in the banquet room, I take in the purple and silver decorations our moms put up. With my purple dress, it feels like it’s my sweet sixteen and we color-coded the entire thing. I only picked purple because Seth said I looked stunning in it. If this was his sick twisted joke, I’m going to punch him.
“Evan!” Rian and Dylan walk toward me. “You look gorgeous.”
I hug them both. “Thank you. Have you seen Seth?”
Dylan looks around and shakes his head. “Not yet. I’m gonna go get some drinks.”
Rian nods and waves to him, linking her arm with mine. “I need more cream cheese and more flavors. That cinnamon one was perfect. Have you ever thought about making frostings?” She smiles at me, but my eyes are following Dylan.
He was acting weird. He tucks himself into a corner of the room and pulls out his phone. That sour feeling in my gut comes alive again. Something is up. I should’ve known when Seth never called me back. I dismissed it as the artist version of him being distracted, but I think I was really wrong.
“So come by next week so we can talk, okay?” Rian says.
I nod, but we get swallowed up by the rest of Seth’s friends, who hug me and offer their congratulations, knowing full well that this is all a lie. Looking over Sierra’s shoulder, I see all the guys huddled together with their hands stuffed in their pockets and shaking their heads.
“Have you guys seen Seth?” I ask.
Blanca looks at Sierra, and they both shake their heads.
“I’m sure he’ll be here soon,” Blanca rushes to add.
I nod because that’s all I seem to be able to do.
Mrs. Andrews spots me and waves, breaking the distance between us. “Oh, sweetie, you look so beautiful.” She wraps her arms around me. “You all do.”
We all gush over her dress—which isn’t purple.
“Have you seen Seth?” I ask Mrs. Andrews.
She shakes her head and my shoulders fall.
We go through the entire cocktail hour and everyone’s trying to paste on their best smiles, but I see the concerned whispers. Where’s Seth? Why isn’t he here yet? What could have kept him?
When the banquet guy asks everyone to be seated, Seth finally walks in the room. But he’s not dressed in the suit he said he would be wearing. His hair isn’t gelled back, and he hasn’t shaved. He looks as if he rolled out of bed and hit his face on the corner of his nightstand, because he has a black eye to boot.
Dylan grabs Seth’s arm and drags him out before he can reach me, but I excuse myself from our family table and meet them in the small waiting area outside the banquet room. Dylan has his fists in Seth’s shirt, his voice low and stern, though I can’t make out what he’s saying. Seth pushes Dylan away, then he spots me.
“What’s going on?” I ask, walking over to them.
“Don’t do it, Seth,” Dylan says.
Seth pushes Dylan and meets me halfway. “I thought we were a team?” He’s slurring and I realize now that he can’t really stand up straight.
“What are you talking about?”
He laughs and almost topples over. “I saw you with your buddy Klein. Secret deals under the table, huh?”
And now that sour feeling in my gut makes sense.
“It’s not what you think,” I say, reaching for him. “Let’s go outside and talk about it.” Some crisp air might help sober him up.
He pulls his hand from mine and my arm flies in the air. “It’s fine. I mean, this entire thing was fake anyway.” He looks over my shoulder, where I’m sure a line of guests are taking in the show. “Yep, folks, that’s right. Our entire engagement was fake and didn’t mean anything because we all know the Ericksons just like to think about themselves.”
“Let’s talk about this,” I say. “What exactly did you see?”
“I saw it. I saw it all. His arms on you, touching you. You laughing with him.”
“What? Nick? He was happy that we got the offer, but I didn’t take it. I don’t want it.”
A hollow laugh rings out in the small space, and our parents step up to our sides as Seth says, “I find it funny that I’m always the last one to know everything. I upended my life to help you get out of the business. Pretending you were my fiancée. I foolishly thought we were in this together. Do you think I would’ve been mad if you got some deal?”
I look at my feet because I’m ashamed. In the weeks I’ve grown closer to Seth, I’ve discovered that he harbors feelings about being second best.
“First, I’m the last one to know my brother is so high on coke he’s stealing to support his habit.”
His dad puts his arm on Seth’s forearm. “Let’s go, son.”
But Seth shakes his head and dislodges his arm from his dad’s grip, turning his ire on him. “Come on. This entire town knows. Even after he stole from you and broke into the store, you still put him above me. Fuck, I just wanted a better life for myself, so I went to college. Why is that so fucking bad? But then you treat me like some outsider. The jokes between you and Trevor, always ganging up on me. You’d think you’d be proud of me for getting a fucking degree. And yeah, I know I take boudoir photos, but it’s a legit business. I’m not stealing to support a drug habit. So tell me, Dad, how do I end up the asshole?”
“Seth,” Mrs. Andrews says. “It’s time to go.”
He laugh
s and looks at his mother. “And you. You have a friendship going with Mrs. Erickson for twenty years behind your husband’s back.”
Her eyes fly to her husband’s. I’m guessing from the look on Mr. Andrew’s face that she wasn’t as upfront as my mom was with my dad.
“You told me we hated them. That I wasn’t to talk to the Ericksons,” Seth continues.
“I never said that,” Mrs. Andrews says.
“You implied it. Suddenly I couldn’t go over to Evan’s and she couldn’t come to our place. No one told me why, just that things changed, and our dads weren’t friends anymore. What was I supposed to think? I was nine.”
His mom blows out a breath.
“And then I come to find out you were secretly meeting with her behind everyone’s back? Fuck, Mom, did you ever stop to think that maybe I wanted to see Evan too?”
“Seth, let’s just go talk somewhere.” I place my hand in his. He’s self-destructing right in front of me, and I can’t bear to let him do it in front of all these witnesses.
“And now you.” He narrows his gaze on me.
Knox steps in and puts his hand on his friend’s chest. “Enough, Andrews, let’s go.”
But Seth weaves around him. “Now you. Why couldn’t you trust what we have? Why would you not be upfront with me?” His voice is pleading, and it stabs me in my heart.
Knox grabs Seth’s arm and tugs him. Seth’s shoulders sink like he’s done.
Just as they reach the door, Seth wiggles free and holds out his arms, facing everyone. “Happy, Dad? You were right. It was all fake and I got played by an Erickson too.” He sets his eyes on me. “While she was making chess moves behind my back, I fucking fell in love with her. Now she broke my damn heart.”
Knox gets a hold of him and pulls him back.
“I fucking loved her,” Seth tells his friend.
Knox just nods and pushes him out of here. Dylan and Jax jog after them. The rest of Seth’s friends follow, the girls giving me fleeting looks before walking through the doors.
Somehow I make it to the bathroom before my legs give out and I crumple to the floor. He declared his love for me. But what runs through my head over and over was that it was in the past tense. I burst into tears and wish we’d never devised this plan in the first place. It was inevitable that we’d end up here.
Chapter Thirty-One
Seth
* * *
“Man, you make me happy I’m sober.” Trevor kicks the side of my bed.
I blink to see that I’m in my apartment. Sliding up my bed, I look down at myself with blurry vision to find that I’m dressed in jeans and a T-shirt that smells like vomit.
“What the hell happened?” My voice is gravelly. I sit up and put my pounding head in my hands.
“I wasn’t a witness, but some are calling it a mental breakdown and others are referring to it as a drunken rant. You can pick your preference.” Trevor sits at the end of my bed.
“Shit. I didn’t?”
“Oh, you did. You told off Dad, Mom, threw some truth bombs out about me, and worst of all embarrassed Evan in front of all your guests.”
My stomach rolls over on itself. “Fuck.”
“Listen, I talked to Mom and Dad last night about what you said when they got home and told me what happened. I owe you an apology.”
I roll off the bed to get out of my T-shirt because I’m going to throw up again if I have to keep smelling it. “For what?”
“For being a prick. For making fun of your job.” He sighs and remains quiet for a minute while I pull on a new T-shirt. “You know it’s only because I’m jealous, right? I mean, you got to go to college, and I got to learn the family business. No one asked what I wanted to do. Truth is, I was a lazy motherfucker when I graduated high school. Already on my way into a heavy addiction. But don’t throw your life away because of me.”
I shake my head.
“I’m serious. Mom and Dad treat me with kid gloves. Like the minute something bad happens, I’m gonna run for drugs. I can’t promise I’m gonna stay clean, but I’m the only one who has control over that. I think they just want us to be perfect and I tried to fit into that role because I’m jealous of you. You’ve got a great life. You live on your own. You have a job and now the art gallery opportunity. But it was finding out you were engaged to Evan that made my self-destructive asshole tendencies come out at dinner.”
My eyes widen. “Evan? Please don’t tell me—”
“Hell no. She was always yours. But your life kept moving forward and I feel like I’m stalled.” I open my mouth, but he continues. “Which is my problem. I have to be the one to get myself out there. And as far as you being the last to know about my drug problem, hell, man, you were the last person I wanted to know. You still thought of me as your strong, older brother. You were one of the last people who still saw me, how the drugs made me feel—invincible.”
Sadness for how my brother sees himself weighs heavily on my shoulders. I sit down next to him. “I still see you as my bigger, older, stronger brother.”
He shakes his head like he doesn’t believe me and pushes me with his shoulder. “You stink. Go take a shower.” Standing, he hesitates by the door. “And go get your girl back.”
He walks out and shuts the door.
I sit there thinking about everything he said, deciding that no matter how hard it might be, I’m going to start fresh with my brother. I don’t want to be like my dad and harbor animosities for years.
I check my phone to see my mom and dad’s missed calls. But there’s nothing from Evan. I head out of my bedroom to take a shower and find Knox getting ready to leave for work.
“You fucked up,” he says.
“I know.”
“Fix it.”
I nod, and he opens the door and leaves.
After I shower and feel slightly more human, I head over to Evan’s place. Bits and pieces of what I did have come back to me and the sinking sensation in my stomach has been getting worse. I’ll be lucky as fuck if she accepts my apology. I’m surprised when she opens the door the first time I knock. She’s wearing flannel pants and a long-sleeve T-shirt, looking like she hasn’t slept all night.
“Can I come in?”
She nods and opens the door wider.
Once I’m inside and she’s closed the door, I meet her gaze. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have confronted you like that in front of everyone.”
“You shouldn’t have, no. But I should have been open and honest with you too. We were both wrong.”
She sits in her desk chair, and I sit on the edge of her bed.
“I’m not sure of everything I said, but I know one thing I said is true. Somewhere through all of this, I fell in love with you. And I know after last night, you probably want to throw me out the window. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you about my feelings earlier and I think that’s why I thought you lied to me…”
She stands and turns away from me, but I see her back shaking with sobs. “I didn’t lie. I dragged my heels, but I was going to tell you. I think the real reason you can’t trust me is because my last name is Erickson. With our families’ past, maybe we’ll never be able to fully trust one another.”
“That’s not true.” I walk over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. “I trust you.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t, and maybe you have a reason not to. Maybe the whole business thing with our parents has everything to do with it. Maybe we’re just destined to be enemies forever.”
I urge her to face me with my hands on her shoulders. “You can’t possibly believe that.”
She stares at me, bearing no expression. A shrug is all the response I get.
“I think it’s the opposite. I think we’re destined to be together. To find our way back to the friendship we once had, and that friendship grew into love. We can’t just turn our backs on that because of one misunderstanding.”
Tears slip from her eyes. “It wasn’t just a misunderstanding. Y
ou’re right—I was terrified to tell you about the offer because I thought you’d think I was selling out or using you as a backup plan to make my exit from the business. And I didn’t know if Nick was after Andrews Bagel too. I thought maybe you were keeping that from me. As long as our families are working in competition with one another, how can we be together? Think about it, Seth.”
“So you’re okay to just walk away from this?”
She looks over my shoulder so we’re no longer making eye contact. “I don’t see another choice.”
I close my eyes as the pain of her words settles in my chest. “You’re not going to fight for us?”
“It’s a losing battle. We didn’t even trust each other enough to tell the other one we were in love.”
“I was scared you didn’t feel the same way. That has nothing to do with trust.” I step closer and dip my head until our eyes catch. “Meet me halfway here.”
“I’m sorry, Seth. I think it’s better if you go now.”
“What? No.” I shake my head.
She wiggles out of my hold and opens the door for me to leave. A cold rush of air whooshes in and chills my shattered heart.
“I thought you were a fighter like me. That you’d go toe to toe. I guess I was wrong.” I walk out of her apartment, down the stairs on the side of the garage, and to my car.
Eli spots me from the yard and runs over with his football. “Hey, Seth? Want to play?”
“Not right now…” But I stop and hold my hands out for him to throw the ball.
He gets it right on target and he must register my surprise. “My dad’s been working with me.”
“Great throw.” I signal with the ball for him to go out for the pass. “Right there.”
I toss it and he catches it, jumping up and down like the first time.
“Way to go, Eli.” My eyes instinctively move to Evan’s window and find her watching. “I gotta go. See you later.”
My voice breaks on the words because I know that might very well be another lie.