by Sara Craven
‘I can’t guarantee that,’ he said. ‘There’s no set time limit. My grandmother is a law unto herself, and she’ll act when she’s ready, and not before. In the meantime, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be comfortable.’
‘I shall be.’ Lou squared her shoulders. ‘It’s actually a very nice room.’ She hesitated. ‘Where do you sleep?’ She tried to sound casual.
‘Across the passage.’ He indicated the door behind him, and gave her a quizzical look. ‘I hope that’s a sufficient distance.’
This time her hesitation was fatal, and his brows snapped together.
‘Clearly not,’ he commented coldly. ‘And I’m beginning to find the role of potential rapist a little wearing. I wonder what they did with the stones from the Berlin Wall. I could find a use for them.’
Lou bit her lip. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said with constraint. ‘I didn’t mean…’ She stumbled to a halt. ‘This isn’t easy for me.’
‘It isn’t what I’d have chosen either,’ Alex came back at her, his frown deepening. ‘I didn’t realise I’d be sharing my life with a professional virgin. No wonder your fiancé cleared out. You must have frozen him away.’
‘You—bastard.’ Lou almost choked on the word, wrapping her arms defensively round her body. ‘Don’t you dare say that. I loved David, and I wanted him—wanted to belong to him.’
‘Then why didn’t you?’ he challenged. ‘Instead of—saving yourself for marriage like some Victorian miss.’
‘We agreed to wait. It was a mutual decision.’ She drew a deep breath. ‘And anyway, it’s not that easy, not in a village where everyone knows everyone else’s business. Besides, there was his mother…’
‘Those are excuses—not reasons,’ he said. ‘There are ways and means. You could have gone away together somewhere. That hotel where we had lunch—how many of those couples do you think were married?’
She gasped. ‘You think that’s what I wanted? To be taken off for some—sordid weekend?’
‘Why should it be sordid,’ he said, ‘if you love each other? Why couldn’t it be passionate, and exciting—and fun?’
‘You speak from the depth of your own vast experience, of course,’ she said scornfully. ‘But I’m talking about real love. The sort that lasts a lifetime—not casual sex with other people’s partners. So don’t lecture me about love, because you—you don’t know the meaning of the word.’
‘Perhaps not,’ he said slowly. ‘But I know there’s an imperative that drives men and women together through fire and flood. And your romance sounds a pretty tepid affair to me. Perhaps David thought so too. Perhaps he wanted more than safety and domesticity, and sex on Friday nights when there was an “r” in the month.’
‘You have no right to say these things.’ Lou flung her head back. ‘No right at all.’
‘No,’ he said unexpectedly, ‘I haven’t. But maybe someone needs to tell you a few home truths about this deathless love of yours, before you wrap it round you like a security blanket and end up strangling in it. Because there’s no safety in love. It’s the ultimate risk, not a soft option with a wedding ring and roses round the door.’
‘Have you—quite finished?’
‘Almost.’ He paused, then said more gently, ‘It’s probably too late to say I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it’s true. Maybe I shouldn’t have said what I did. But the fact is they made fools of us both. And it riles me to think that neither of them had the guts to stand up and admit what was going on. Tell us to our faces that they wanted more than we had to offer. And in your heart, you must feel that too.’
She stared at him. ‘Don’t you dare tell me what’s going on in my heart.’ Her voice rose stormily. ‘You know nothing about me—nothing.’
‘You’re right,’ he said, ‘I don’t. But during the course of our short marriage, I plan to find out.’ He turned away. ‘I’ll leave you to unpack.’
‘What makes you think I’ll stay here another minute?’ she flung after him.
Alex sighed. ‘Louise—you have nowhere else to go. And we have a deal.’ The green eyes were cool, direct and implacable. ‘Stay with me—marry me—and Trentham Osborne get another chance. Otherwise they don’t. Jobs will be lost. Good books will not be published, and your father and his wife will lose their home. But it’s entirely up to you. As it always was.’
He glanced at his watch. ‘I’m going out for a while. If you’re still here when I return our deal goes ahead, with no more arguments or recriminations. A business decision, no more, no less. So, think about it.’
The door closed behind him.
Lou sank down on the edge of the bed, still hugging herself protectively, staring ahead of her with eyes that saw nothing. The silence pressed down on her, surrounded her. She was shaking inside, her mind in freefall.
He was vile, she thought. Vile, disgusting and heartless. The things he had said seared her memory, and she would never forgive him—never.
But, at the same time, she could not ignore the tiny voice in the corner of her mind that whispered he was right. That her relationship with David was never strong enough to stay the course. That if they had loved ardently enough, nothing could have kept them apart. That what she’d thought was consideration had merely been a warning signal that all was not well.
After all, he had had no such qualms about running away with Ellie, she acknowledged sadly.
Her overwhelming impulse was to pick up her bag, and leave. Find a hotel for the night, then make her way to Paddington in the morning. She could be at the farm by lunch-time. And Alex Fabian would not follow her. He’d made that clear.
If she left—it was over. And the fate of Trentham Osborne would be sealed. And, as her father had said, they would lose everything. Undoubtedly, both the London flat and Virginia Cottage had been used as collateral to raise money in the past, and would be snatched away if the company collapsed.
And, while she might not have had the easiest of relationships with Marian and her father, she could not wish to see them destitute—especially when she had the power to prevent it.
And when Alex Fabian had achieved his purpose, she would be totally free to do whatever she wished—go wherever she wanted.
Machu Picchu, she thought. Ayers Rock. The temples of Cambodia. So many places in the world that she’d thought she would never see, because David wasn’t keen on foreign travel. And soon she would have the time and the money to explore them all.
If her life had to change, then she would make sure it was a change for the better.
She would earn Alex Fabian’s money, she told herself with steely determination. Earn it—and ultimately enjoy it, in the certain knowledge that she would never have to set eyes on him again.
And she would not come cheap. He would pay, and pay again for her services. He might even be sorry their paths had ever crossed.
She got to her feet and took her bag into the dressing room, which had one wall lined with shelving and drawers, and another occupied by fitted wardrobes. Her few belongings looked lost and lonely in all that space. Rather as she herself felt, she thought wryly, then paused.
That was negative thinking, and whatever happened she was going to emerge from this situation as a victor not a victim.
And tried to ignore that small, aggravating voice now whispering an insistent reminder that Alex Fabian was someone who also expected to win. And generally succeeded.
She said aloud, ‘But not this time.’ And made it sound like a vow.
CHAPTER FIVE
LOUISE was sitting curled up in a corner of a sofa, trying hard to concentrate on the paperback thriller she’d brought with her, when Alex returned several hours later.
She raised her head slowly, and looked at him standing motionless in the doorway, aware that her heart was thudding unevenly. And that it had occurred to her more than once that he might not come back at all…
There was a long silence, then he said quietly, ‘Thank you.’
‘Don’t be t
oo grateful,’ she returned with an assumption of coolness. ‘I fully intend to take you to the cleaners.’
‘I can accept that.’ He walked to the sofa opposite, removing his jacket and tossing it over the padded arm. ‘And I’m sure it will be very good for my soul.’
He leaned back against the cushions, closing his eyes briefly. For the first time since she’d met him, he looked weary—even strained—and Louise had detected the faint tang of whisky as he walked past her.
She said, ‘Where have you been?’
‘That’s a very wifely question, darling,’ he drawled. ‘Getting into your role already?’
‘Isn’t that what you wanted?’
‘Of course.’ He opened his eyes and met her gaze. ‘Actually, I walked for a while, and then I went to the bank, and did some work.’
‘At this time—on a Saturday?’ Her voice lifted in disbelief.
‘Why not? I’ve never been a nine-to-five man, and I like to know I won’t be interrupted. Besides, there were some things I needed to get out of the way.’ He paused. ‘I called your father, and told him that the re-financing of Trentham Osborne would go ahead as arranged.’
‘You did?’ Louise’s eyes widened in bewilderment. ‘But how did you know I’d still be here?’
‘I didn’t.’ His tone was laconic. ‘I just decided that if you were going to stay, I’d rather it was of your own accord rather than any threat I could hold over you.’ He paused. ‘Which, in turn, means that you’re free to leave, if you want, and I won’t stop you.’
She swallowed. ‘That’s—good of you. But I’ve decided to remain—to stick to my side of the deal, as agreed.’ She hesitated. ‘Did you tell my father where I was?’
‘Yes.’ She detected a faint chill. ‘I told him.’
‘What did he say?’
Alex shrugged, his mouth twisting. ‘He seemed to take it in his stride.’
Louise bit her lip. ‘I expect he was too relieved about the company to understand properly.’
‘That’s certainly the charitable way of looking at it,’ he said drily. ‘I wonder what he’ll do next time he needs a daughter to sacrifice.’
She bent her head. ‘Has there been any word,’ she asked in a low voice, ‘from Ellie?’
‘Apparently not,’ Alex returned. ‘But plenty of words from the bridegroom’s mother, who’s been haunting the place all day, having acute hysterics. As a result, your stepmother has retired to bed with a severe migraine.’
‘Oh, poor Marian.’ Louise found herself suppressing a giggle. ‘I can imagine. Mrs Sanders is the ultimate monster.’
‘Then she should find Virginia Cottage a home from home,’ Alex retorted caustically. He shook his head. ‘How the hell did you ever get lumbered with such completely selfish relations?’
‘We just inhabit different worlds, that’s all.’ Louise moved uncomfortably. ‘And I think I remind my father too much of my mother.’ She sighed. ‘He’s always felt guilty, I’m sure, that he wasn’t there when she died—among other things.’
‘And handing you over to me will somehow assuage his guilt?’ There was a scornful note in his voice.
‘I don’t know,’ she said. She tried to muster a smile. ‘But it will certainly get me out of the way.’
‘So,’ he said, ‘what made you decide to keep to our bargain, after all?’
She shrugged. ‘As you’ve pointed out, I’m homeless and jobless.’ She lifted her chin. ‘I need the money you’re going to pay me to kick-start my life all over again.’
He linked his hands loosely behind his head as he watched her. ‘And how do you propose to do that?’
‘Well,’ she said, ‘first, I shall go round the world. And when I’ve done that, I shall come home and train properly for a career.’
‘In the law?’
‘Perhaps,’ she said. ‘Or teaching. I shan’t decide anything immediately.’ Her smile was wintry. ‘I have to survive the next few weeks and months before that.’
‘You might, of course, fall in love and get married instead.’
‘Oh, no.’ Louise shook her head with determination.
‘You seem very positive about it.’ His voice was faintly amused.
‘While you were out, I had a lot of time to think—about what you said to me earlier about my affair with David being…tepid.’
He moved sharply, almost defensively. ‘If you remember, I did apologise for that.’
‘Yes, but it occurred to me there could be an element of truth in it, all the same. That maybe David started seeing me because we were the right age, and knew the same people, and it was—convenient. But that’s not good enough—is it? I should have realised when he kept finding excuses not to make the engagement official, or fix a date for the wedding.’
She smiled wanly. ‘It was all supposed to be out of consideration for his mother, but I bet he hasn’t given her a second thought since he left.’
He said quite gently, ‘Louise, don’t punish yourself like this.’
‘Is that what I’m doing? I thought I was being realistic. Facing up to a few things.’ Her hands gripped each other in her lap. ‘And just think how much worse it would all have been if we’d been properly engaged—or even married.’
He shrugged. ‘Nothing lasts forever—least of all marriage, these days,’ he added cynically.
‘Mine would have lasted,’ she said. ‘I’d have made it work.’
‘How ferocious you sound.’ His own voice held amusement. ‘And now you can concentrate all that determined will of yours on the job in hand—pretending to be my wife in front of my grandmother.’
She stared down at her clenched hands. ‘Couldn’t we keep it like that—just a pretence, rather than actually getting married? It would make things so much easier—later on. When it’s all finished with.’
‘Alas, no.’ Alex gave a wry shrug. ‘If I know Selina, she’ll demand to see the marriage certificate. There has to be a wedding, but it will be quick, quiet, and as painless as I can make it.’
‘Yes.’ She bit her lip. ‘Actually, I thought that was where you might have gone—to see your grandmother, to tell her…’
‘She’s not around.’ He smiled faintly. ‘Every year at this time she goes on a kind of royal progress to visit all those of her friends who are still standing. You’ll have to wait to meet her at her birthday party—at Rosshampton.’
His voice seemed to caress the word.
Oh, God, Louise thought. This means so much to him. Suppose it all goes horribly wrong.
He was speaking again, more briskly. ‘Have you learned your way round the flat yet?’
‘As much as I need to do.’ She forbore to mention that his bedroom had been the only no-go area. ‘You certainly weren’t joking about the kitchen. The cupboard’s bare—and the fridge.’
‘Damnation,’ he said. ‘You’ve had nothing to eat. I should have shown you how to use the internal phone—order from the restaurant. Would you like them to bring up some sandwiches?’
‘Oh, no, I’m fine,’ she assured him hastily. She paused. ‘Would you mind if I got some food in—stocked up a bit on basics?’
His brows lifted. ‘Trying to domesticate me already, darling?’
‘I was thinking of stuff like milk and bread,’ Louise said steadily. ‘Not dinner for two.’
He shrugged. ‘This is your home for the duration,’ he said. ‘Buy whatever you need. Just make sure there are always plenty of my favourite coffee beans, as well as your herbal stuff.’
‘I’m not totally committed to camomile,’ she said lightly. ‘Sometimes I ring the changes with hot chocolate.’ She got to her feet. ‘If you don’t mind, I’d like to go to my room now.’ She tried to smile. ‘It’s been—quite a day.’
‘And this,’ he said softly, ‘is only the beginning.’
He rose too, and she had to control an impulse to step back. ‘Have you everything you need?’
‘Oh, yes,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m sure I�
��ll be very comfortable.’
‘Well, if you think of anything, let me know,’ he said. ‘I’m going to watch television for a while.’
There was something, of course. The lock on her door had no key, after all, but she felt, absurdly, that this was not the most appropriate moment to mention it.
It can wait till morning, she told herself.
‘Fine.’ She sounded cheerful to the point of inanity, she realised crossly. ‘Goodnight, then.’
‘Sleep well,’ he said, smiling faintly. ‘And—sweet dreams.’
Unlikely, Louise thought as she escaped. Although screaming nightmares were a definite possibility.
Her head was aching slightly, and her eyes still felt sore from weeping as she let herself into her room. She had no aspirin with her, but maybe a hot bath would take away some of the stress.
It wasn’t going to be acting a part in front of his grandmother which was going to present the major difficulty, she acknowledged as she began to run water into the tub, adding a splash of the lily-scented bath oil which stood with the array of other expensive toiletries on the tiled surround. It was the ordinary day-to-day living under the same roof. Trying not to jump when he entered the room, or overreacting whenever he came within three yards of her.
I wish, she thought drily, that there was a crash course I could take in becoming used to having him around.
I’d really like to be able to take it as easily for granted as he does himself. Although, of course, he’s had infinitely more practice.
And found herself grimacing at the thought with something very like real pain.
The bath helped. She lay back in the warm, fragrant water, eyes closed, her head resting on the small pillow provided for the purpose, letting herself drift above the confusion of emotion within her. Telling herself there would be a time when none of it would matter any more. And hoping desperately that it was true.
She dried herself slowly on one of the thick, luxurious bath sheets, then rubbed creamy, scented body lotion into her skin before putting on the simple white lawn gown with its low-cut bodice and narrow straps, which was the only nightdress she’d brought with her.