When the tea was brewed, she came back and curled up on the sofa, hugging her knees to her, sipping from her mug. She sat there staring at the flickering blue flame of the gas fire and, without really knowing what she was doing, drew out the contents of her pocket. She stared at the small packet in her hand and, for want of something else to occupy her, she rolled herself a joint. It was years since she’d smoked anything at all. Probably at university. Even then, she hadn’t been that interested. The effect that it had on Rich and the destruction it had wrought on his life had made her very anti-drugs. She never usually even touched a cigarette. It held no appeal for her whatsoever.
But now she lit it up and held the roll-up to her lips, taking a deep toke. It was ridiculous, desperate even, but this made her seem closer to Rich, feeling as he felt. What was it about the pull of this drug that made him put everything else on the line for it until it had, ultimately, cost him his life? She simply didn’t know. If she’d had the answer to that maybe she’d have been able to help Rich more.
Autumn sat mesmerised by the glowing tip. Her working day was taken up by people whose lives had been blighted by this. She took the smoke deep into her lungs. Did it make her feel relaxed, mellow, any more together as a human being? No. It did nothing for her. She could take it or leave it. Were some people simply destined to be addicted to any form of drug more than others? Did Rich always have that kind of personality? He certainly seemed to be attracted to anything that was dangerous and illegal. Rich had also drunk heavily, whereas a glass of wine was enough for Autumn. Did the two things go hand in hand?
She’d nearly finished the joint and her eyes were heavy. Perhaps it would help her to get a good night’s sleep. It was then that there was a knock at her door.
It was late and her heart lifted. For a few moments before reality hit again, she thought it might be Rich. He was the one who normally turned up late at night, unannounced. Sometimes it was so very easy to forget that he was gone.
‘Hey.’ Instead, it was Addison who stood there. ‘I just finished at a meeting and thought I’d say hi. I didn’t have a minute all day to return your texts.’
It was really lovely to see him as she hadn’t expected him to call round this evening. She went to hug him and then realised that she still had the joint between her fingers.
‘Oh,’ she said. ‘Let me get rid of this.’
She turned back into her living room, looking for her saucer or something to put it out in.
Addison followed her and when she looked at him again, he was frowning. ‘Is that what I think it is?’ He sniffed the air. ‘Christ, Autumn, it is.’
‘I know,’ she said, both of them aware of the remains of the packet on the coffee table. ‘It was stupid of me. I brought it back from Rich’s place. I know I shouldn’t have, but . . .’
Her boyfriend’s face darkened. ‘I might have known that your bloody brother would have something to do with this.’
Addison was barely over the doorstep and yet, already, they were arguing.
‘I’m too tired for this,’ she said. ‘It was silly of me. I won’t do it again. Let it go at that.’
‘I work for a drug rehabilitation unit,’ he said, unnecessarily. ‘We both do. Why do you think that is?’
‘I’m not a child,’ Autumn said. ‘You don’t need to speak to me as if I’m five years old.’
‘You seem to have no concept of the real world. You think you’re somehow immune to the effects of drugs here in your little ivory tower.’
‘How can you say that when I’ve had to deal with all the trouble it’s brought into our lives through Rich? Is still bringing into our lives.’
‘We could go round in circles about Rich,’ Addison said harshly. ‘If it hadn’t been for your parents funding him, he might still be around today. Think about that.’
It stung. Because, at the end of the day, there was a grain of truth in it. ‘So I’m from a privileged background. Everything we argue about comes back to Rich or to that. I can’t change how I’ve been brought up. What’s done is done. It’s history. My history. Just because you’ve had to struggle more than me, it doesn’t mean that you’re a better person.’
Autumn was reeling. Addison had launched into a full-on verbal attack and he hadn’t even sat on the sofa yet. It was as if he’d been looking for an excuse.
‘I could have you sacked for smoking dope,’ he said. ‘Instead, I’ll accept your resignation.’
‘That’s ridiculous.’
‘No, it isn’t. It’s real life, Autumn. Not even your parents can buy you out of this one.’
‘This is the first time I’ve smoked dope in years and I’ve had a few puffs. That’s all. And, believe me, I have my reasons.’ How could she really explain that she’d wanted to smoke because for one silly moment she thought that it would bring Rich close to her once more? ‘We should talk about this.’
‘There’s nothing to say. I’m not having one of my workers smoking weed.’
‘Worker?’ Autumn said. ‘Is that all I am to you?’
Addison sagged for a moment. Then he sighed and said, ‘Yes.’ His eyes were cold when he looked at her. ‘We should have talked about this, I suppose, but I don’t think things are right between us. They haven’t been for a while. We’re too different. We want different things from life.’
Did they? At one time, in the early days, it hadn’t seemed so.
‘As far as I’m concerned,’ he added, ‘we’ve reached the end of our relationship.’
Autumn’s mouth gaped, but before she even had time to answer, Addison turned on his heel and left.
Chapter Thirty-Four
I try very hard not to rush the last of the dawdling customers out of Chocolate Heaven when, quite frankly, I want to shout at them, ‘GET A MOVE ON! GO HOME!’
Don’t they know I have Things To Do?
Of course they don’t. But today’s the day of Lana and Elsie’s naming party and I want to start prettifying Chocolate Heaven as soon as I can. In fact, I’ve been itching to do it all day. I have cake. I have helium balloons. I have party bags. I have pink flower arrangements courtesy of the florist two doors down. I have sparkly pink champagne. I’m glad that the babies aren’t boys as blue drinks are just WRONG.
Now, all I need to do is run round for half an hour and set up the tables ready for the guests to arrive. It’s a select little gathering, but none the worse for it. I’m so pleased that Clive and Tristan will be here too as I want them to see how well I’ve been doing with the business. It’s all present and correct, just as they left it. The ceiling hasn’t fallen in. A gas main hasn’t exploded underneath it. A plane hasn’t landed on it. Nothing.
Eventually, Chocolate Heaven is empty and, with a relieved sigh, I turn the sign to ‘Closed’. Now it’s dark the fairy lights shine out and the Christmas tree looks especially twinkly.
Without further ado, I set to. I push two long tables together to make up the cake buffet. At each end there’s a single-tier cake for the babies – one chocolate, one vanilla. They’re pink and white striped, trimmed with flowers and both iced with their names. I put out the cupcakes that Alexandra has decorated in a baby theme too and, once the sugar base layer has been sorted, I add a selection of savouries – little quiches, sandwiches, some flaky sausage rolls – all bought from the local deli. After that, it’s all a blur as I hurriedly make preparations.
In the nick of time, it’s all ready and I’m just popping the cork on the first bottle of pink champagne when Chantal and Ted arrive with Lana in her buggy. Seconds later they’re followed by Stacey and Elsie and it’s clear that they’ve all walked down here together, which is nice.
I pour them all champagne while they fuss with unbundling the girls from their many layers of clothing.
‘The cakes look beautiful, Lucy,’ Stacey says. ‘Thanks so much for organising this.’
‘You’re welcome. I hope Alexandra is going to find time to join us for a drink, so you can tell her th
at you like them. Can I hold Elsie for a minute?’
She passes the baby over, which leaves her free to stand and talk to Ted.
Nadia and Lewis arrive. Then, shortly afterwards, Jacob. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him and it’s great that he’s able to come along. I know that it’s a bit premature to be saying this as Nadia insists that they’re just good friends, but I think he and Nadia would make a lovely couple.
Jacob comes to hug me and takes Elsie into the embrace too.
‘Long time, no see,’ I say.
‘Too long. You’re looking great, though. Love clearly suits you.’
I flush at that.
Jacob laughs. ‘Now I’ve embarrassed you.’
‘No, not really. But you’re right. I’m very much in love and deliriously happy.’
‘Good to hear it. Will you want my wedding-planning services again soon?’
‘I might well do,’ I say in the most enigmatic way I can manage.
‘Oh, really?’
‘It’s a bit early for a formal announcement, but I have high hopes.’
‘I’ll come in again next week and we can catch up properly. Clearly you have a lot to tell me.’
‘Nothing else has changed,’ I shrug. ‘Working too hard. Barely keeping my head above water.’
‘It seems as if you’re making a good job of it. This all looks great.’
‘Thanks, Jacob.’
‘Hey.’ Autumn comes through the door with a man and a little girl in tow. ‘I hope you don’t mind some extra guests?’
‘Of course not,’ I say. ‘This must be the much-talked-about Miles.’ The man behind her is tall, more than a little good-looking and seems quite bashful.
He takes off his beanie hat. ‘Hi, Lucy. I’ve heard a lot about you, too.’
‘Glad you could come.’
I bend down to the little girl. ‘You must be Florence.’ She clings to her father’s leg, suddenly shy. ‘This is Elsie.’ I give a wave with Elsie’s hand and Florence smiles timidly.
‘Let’s take your coat off, Flo.’ Miles bends to assist her and I like the way that he gently and patiently unpeels his daughter from her layers of outdoor clothing.
I nudge Autumn. ‘This is a turn-up for the books,’ I whisper.
‘Addison and I had a terrible row last night,’ she murmurs back.
‘What about?’
‘Long story,’ she says. ‘One that will require a lot of chocolate and cake. I’m pretty sure it’s over between us. It certainly seems that way. Addison said a lot of hurtful things.’
‘Wow. I’m sorry to hear it. Why didn’t you call me?’
‘It was late and I went straight to bed. Weirdly, I don’t even feel that upset. I’ve not quite processed it yet, but I think it’s been on the cards for a while.’ She sighs. ‘He couldn’t come today, anyway. He’s going up to Manchester with a colleague for a Think Tank day. The dreaded Monica Desmond.’ She rolls her eyes.
Ah, yes. Autumn has told us all about the new dragon in her workplace.
‘He caught the train with her this morning,’ she continues, ‘and I just didn’t want to come alone today. You really don’t mind?’
‘Of course not. And he’s hot!’
‘I’d noticed that,’ Autumn admits, pink-cheeked. ‘I wanted you to meet him. He’s a lovely guy. Bit of a baptism of fire for him, though. He won’t know what’s hit him.’
‘Looks as if he’s coping all right.’ Miles has already moved on to chat to Jacob and they seem to be getting along famously. I also spot that Jacob is shooting surreptitious glances in Chantal’s direction.
‘You’d better go and catch up with your guests.’ I give Autumn an encouraging wink and, smiling anxiously, she heads off towards Miles and Florence.
I’ve returned Elsie to her mum and am opening the second bottle when Crush arrives.
‘Hi, Gorgeous.’ He’s breathless and a bit harried. His face is pink from the cold, his hair a tangled mess when he pulls off his hat. ‘How are you coping?’
‘Just fine.’ I kiss his chilled cheek and my lips feel hot against it.
‘I meant to come a bit earlier and give you a hand, but my paperwork took longer than I thought.’
It’s bad that even Sunday isn’t a day of rest for us.
‘You’re here now. That’s all that matters.’
‘I need a drink.’ I hand him a glass of champagne and he takes a good gulp. ‘That’s better. Shall I take the bottle round for you and top up everyone?’
I kiss him again. ‘You’re my hero.’
He grins at that and disappears with the bottle. I realise that I’m the only one without a drink, so I open another bottle and help myself. As long as I stay one drink behind my guests then all should be fine.
Fashionably late, Clive and Tristan arrive too. They’re both looking fabulously tanned, healthy and considerably more slender than when they ran Chocolate Heaven. Tristan’s blond hair has lightened in the sun over the summer in the south of France and he’s looking very French in his black shirt and skinny jeans. Clive, the older of the two, looks more relaxed than he has in years and is embracing his feminine side in a pink shirt and sweater. Clearly life in La Belle France is suiting them. Instantly, we mob them, swamping them with a group hug.
‘You guys,’ they say. ‘We’ve missed you.’
‘Look at you,’ I cry. ‘You both look like you haven’t a care in the world.’
‘We haven’t,’ Clive admits. ‘Our biggest stress is deciding who is going to walk down to the boulangerie to buy our baguette for the day. A lot of that’s down to you, Lucy. You’re doing a great job. We’re delighted to see that Chocolate Heaven is still standing.’
‘Not only that, but thriving,’ Tristan adds.
I feel myself glow with pride. ‘I’ve turned over a new leaf,’ I tell Clive. ‘Honestly, I have. I no longer destroy everything I touch.’
‘You’re doing a great job,’ he says. ‘I’ve been keeping an eye on the books. Well done.’
‘I’ve got some new ideas,’ I confide. ‘If you’ve got a bit of time later.’
‘Yeah.’ A slightly troubled frown settles on the brow that appeared so carefree just a moment ago. ‘I want a quiet word with you, too.’
That makes me panic a bit. Much as I’d love them to come home, in the back of my mind I’d also like them to stay away because if they do return then they’ll probably give me the boot. And nothing on this earth would make me go back to being a temporary secretary. I’d rather give up chocolate for the rest of my life.
Then I think, even for me, that was a very foolish thought.
Chapter Thirty-Five
The party is in full swing. Chantal and Stacey have read out poems for the little girls. I put candles on the cakes which Chantal and Stacey blow out. Then we toast the babies, wishing them good health and happy lives.
I take the cakes into the kitchen to cut them up and then, when I’m handing round the slices, I notice that Ted and Stacey seem to be getting on very well. Very well. There’s a definite chemistry between them. Oh dear.
I’m handing some cake to Chantal when she says, ‘You noticed it too.’ She inclines her head towards her husband and his one-time lover. ‘There’s still a spark there.’
I don’t think she’s wrong.
Chantal sighs and bites into her chocolate cake. ‘It’s hard to watch. He doesn’t look at me like that anymore.’
‘But you’ve been together a long time.’
‘Ted and I rub along well enough. He’s made a surprisingly good father, but I don’t know if we’ll ever get our relationship back to what it once was. At the moment, due to this demanding young lady,’ she gazes lovingly at the baby in her arms, ‘we can just ignore it, but there’ll come a time when we need to address the issue.’
I kiss Chantal’s cheek. ‘I hate to see you so worried. If you and Ted love each other enough, then I’m sure it will all work itself out.’
My friend lau
ghs. ‘That’s because you are the eternal optimist, Lucy Lombard. Sometimes love isn’t enough, or it takes different forms. I’m only just learning that. You have to work hard at relationships and I’ve been guilty of not doing that. Take advice from your Auntie Chantal: put that man of yours at the top of the list.’
‘Ah, it’s a good thing you said that. I’ve got a favour to ask you. A big one.’
Chantal looks intrigued.
‘Crush isn’t going to be able to make the trip to Bruges with me. Pressure at work.’
‘That’s a shame.’
‘I’m gutted, but it’s something important that he can’t cancel. Would you come with me? I know it’s a big ask, but it’s all booked and paid for. There’ll be lots of chocolate and a Christmas market.’
‘Try to keep me away. I’ll just have to make sure that Ted can look after Lana for a few days without me.’
‘You don’t know how relieved I am. Call me a wuss, but I didn’t want to go on my own.’
‘We’ll have a lovely time. I know it’s not what you planned, but it will be nice to have a few girly days to ourselves.’
Checking to see where Crush is, I see that he’s being regaled with tales by Clive and Tristan. This might only be a small gathering, but I don’t feel as if I’ve had a minute to myself yet and I certainly haven’t had a chance to catch up with my bosses yet. But it looks as if they’re being their usual entertaining selves. They look happy with each other too and that’s a bonus. When they scuttled away to the continent their relationship was at breaking point.
I move on to Nadia, who’s at the other side of the room. ‘You look a bit glum. Everything OK?’
She shrugs. ‘Have you seen the way Jacob is looking at Chantal?’
He does keep glancing across at her. ‘Maybe he’s just looking for a chance to go across and chat to her while Ted’s otherwise engaged.’ I don’t want a punch-up between them at the party. ‘There’s a lot of history there, Nadia. They’ll always be good friends.’
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