I watch Liza Flake’s face closely to gauge her response. Like everyone else in the room, she shoots her hand straight up.
“Okay, good, because for a second, I didn’t think we were on the same fashion page,” I say firmly. “Now let’s talk schedule.”
I pass out another round of forms. “This is your Catwalk schedule sheet. Every meeting, you will be given an updated one. But right now you must face the fact that your time has become a more valuable commodity than Gianni Versace’s gunmetal mesh fabric from the seventies. I’ve already told you your task for our next meeting. I think that’s a good start. Any questions?”
Diamond raises her hand. “When do we talk about designing the collection?”
“Next meeting,” I assure her. “I will be given my fashion budget as well as the design challenges we’ll be expected to complete. Last year, for example, the five competing houses had to create an ensemble constructed out of biodegradable materials. Also, the collection must contain five categories. That’s the same every year.”
“I hope this year’s design challenge is edible,” Nole quips.
“Oh, that reminds me,” I say. “On the hookup form, you’ll see a category for child models. We are definitely doing a children’s fashion segment to open our show—because that’s an integral part of feline fatale fashion. So if you know any child models—we’re going to have to have them come in and try out—make sure to write down the contact. We really need about ten guest child models—I didn’t write on the form, sorry,” I say absentmindedly, perusing the form. “They should be under the age of twelve. That’s what’s still considered a child these days, anyway.”
“What if we don’t know any children?” asks Mink shyly.
“That’s totally cool—I mean, fine. As a matter of fact, anything on the hookup form is merely a way for us to pool resources. No one is expected to fabricate connections of any kind. And please—while I want you to eat, breathe, and live the Catwalk competition until that Big Willie statue is in our possession next June, no one should start hanging around schoolyards under the pretense of luring kiddies for our fashion show! Understood? Vous comprenez? Capisce?”
“Scratch, scratch, we feel you!” shouts Benny Madina, the tasty morsel with dreads who was Felinez’s male model pick.
“Awrighty, that concludes our business for today. And I just want to say, regardless of what happens over the course of the next seven months, it has been an honor to spend this time with you. I’ll never forget it.” I really mean it. “So, if we could all join hands before we run and state our Catwalk mission together. This is how I would like us to end every meeting.”
I stand up at the head of the conference table and join hands with Felinez on my left and Angora on my right. “If you could repeat after me, please,” I say, bowing my head and taking a deep breath before I continue: “As an officially fierce team member of the House of Pashmina, I fully accept the challenge and obligations of competing in the Catwalk competition. My commitment to my house must always come first so that I can become the fashionista only I can be. Meowch, forever!”
Afterward, Caterina tries to get my attention as she hovers in the doorway before departing with her crew. I excuse myself from Chintzy, who has run over to give me a folder of tear sheets of ideas. “I can’t give this my attention right now,” I tell Chintzy gently. Now I see what it means to be a house leader: you’re really the gatekeeper of everyone’s dreams locked up inside in a safe place, waiting to be unleashed.
I go over to the door. “Um, thank you, again,” I say to Caterina, even though I know she won’t acknowledge what I really mean. “That worked out okay.”
But Caterina surprises me. “I’m glad,” she says honestly, then switches back her producer gear to drive. “I guess I’ll see you around campus.”
“I hope so,” I say, shifting my gear, too.
Nole walks over with Dame and taps me on the shoulder, then reaches over to give me a series of air kisses on both cheeks. “I made the right decision,” he whispers in my ear.
I nod in agreement.
“So did I win the bet?” Nole asks me, amused.
“I’ll let you unpack my suitcase in Firenze and examine my panty selection so you can see for yourself,” I say, giggling.
Dame Leeds’s eyes open wide. “Oh, no you didn’t, Miss Thing, cut a side deal! That’s a no-no. Put it in the Catwalk Credo—I insist!”
I assure Dame I will.
Now Aphro grabs me to get away from the meeting. “You were fierce,” she says, hugging me.
Suddenly, I look at one of my best friends and understand what Ms. Fab was trying to tell me earlier about surviving in the fashion jungle. I look Aphro squarely in her face and tell her, “No, no, you are fierce.” This time I mean it.
FASHION INTERNATIONAL 35TH ANNUAL CATWALK COMPETITION BLOG
New school rule: You don’t have to be ultranice, but don’t get tooooo catty, or your posting will be zapped by the Fashion Avengers!!
GLITTER TO YOUR OWN GROOVE….
As long as I’ve been a student at Fashion International, I’ve prided myself on living on the cutting edge and getting to know who I really am underneath the faux fur. The truth is, most of the time I feel like I’m walking on imaginary eggshells. That’s probably why every day I try to dress fiercely so I can meet and greet the world in a manner that is much groovier than the way I actually feel inside. What I didn’t know is that there are lots of people in the world who are just like me. I discovered this recently because I made an assumption about one such person, only to discover that underneath our different layers of flavor, we are remarkably similar. We each use our passion for fashion to rise above our background, to overcome our shortcomings, to camouflage our disappointments in a world that she so aptly described, if I may paraphrase her, as not so chic and even downright cruel.
I want to publicly apologize to this person for never giving her the benefit of the doubt or for taking the time to get to know who she was underneath her faux fur. As I move forward in my ambitious attempt to manifest my dreams—right now through the Catwalk competition—I plan on changing my current modus operandi. For starters, every time I come in contact with someone—whether they be a frenemy, a ferocious friend, or an outright foe—I’m going to ask myself, What are their dreams? If I take the time to answer that question, then I have a better shot at dealing with the person as a human being. In other words, just like me.
So here’s to scratching beneath the surface. May you sparkle madly and glitter to your own groove. Meowch forever! …
10/25/2008 12:00:55 PM
Posted by: Feline Groovy
Glossary
Abracadabra fierce: Snap-your-fingers fabulous. As in, “Did you see the paisley jumpsuit that opened the Betsey Johnson spring show? It was abracadabra fierce!”
Angle for a dangle: To maneuver a situation or jockey for position. As in, “Don’t be fooled by Nole’s protestations. He’s just trying to angle for a dangle. I know for a facto he’s dying to go to dinner with you.”
Back in the day: Referring to an earlier era. It is a sign of pure respect in the fashion game to pay homage to the players who came before you and paved the way for your future reign.
Battle: When one voguer challenges another, in or out of a fashion show or ball.
Beam me up: Star Trekkies started this riff. Now fashionistas use it to put someone on blast or to vibe with someone. As in, “Zeus can beam me up anytime, cuz I’ve fallen for him!”
Big Willie: A major player in the fashion game. Someone who has earned street cred. Can also be a reference to the “Big Willie” statue—the prestigious bronze dress-form trophy bestowed upon the winner of the annual Catwalk competition at Fashion International High School. The award’s name was chosen in honor of the school’s founding father, William Dresser.
Blang: Bling squared. Blinding dazzle.
Blankety: Blank. As in, “I tried to tell her he’s not feeling her, but s
he went blankety.”
Bling-worthy: The opposite of CZ (cubic zirconia) in value and merit. Something or someone who is considered a bona fide “gem.” As in, “You’re always falling for the CZ. Tadashi is the most bling-worthy banana in the bunch.”
Bona fried: Bona fide to a crisp. Legit. As in, “Trust me, Ms. Boucle, I have a bona fried reason why I didn’t do the homework assignment.”
Bootylicious: Fierce footwear. As in, “Those Shimmy Choos are bootylicious.”
Braggedy: Someone who flosses like a broken-down braggart. As in, “Did you hear Chandelier carrying on about her job interview? She is so braggedy.”
Bumpin’: Purely fabbie.
Bwitch: Phat.
Cacophony: Discord. Phony flow. Talking loud and saying nothing.
Cadeau: French word for gift or present. Pronounced “ca-doe.” A useful expression for kitties who want to milk it: “Je voudrais un cadeau s’il vous plaît!” Translation: “I would like a present, please!”
Catiac arrest: When you just can’t take it anymore. Much more painful than a cardiac arrest. As in, “If I don’t get nominated, I’m going to have a catiac arrest!”
Catitude: That special feline quality that leaves the peeps gaspitating and proclaiming, “She’s fierce!”
Catwalk: A narrow, usually elevated platform used by models to “sashay, shimmy, and sell” designers’ clothing and accessories during a fashion show. The British term was originally coined after designer Lucy Christiana, aka Lady Duff-Gordon, staged the first fashion show in London in the early 1900s.
Chat noir: French for “black cat.”
Chica-boom!: Extra special. Extra fabulous. As in, “That dress is definitely chica-boom!”
Churl: Girl and honeychild rolled into one. As in, “Churl, please, you’d better be on time or I will drop you like a bad habit.”
Click, dial tone, good-bye!: Dropping the communication line on someone who is getting on your nerves.
Coinky dinky: Coincidence. Can also have a sarcastic connotation. As in, “I got the pink lizard Shimmy Choo slides for Christmas. And so did you? What a coinky dinky!”
Coin slot: The crack between the butt cheeks. As in, “Excuse me, Fifty Cent, can you pull up your pants, please, cuz I’m not trying to insert two quarters in your coin slot!”
Crossing paws: Playing your cards right. Making things happen. Hanging out with a purpose. As in, “While you were out lollygagging, I was crossing paws with Caterina coming up with ideas for our Catwalk collection!”
Crunchy: Someone who is cute, but not as tasty as a Toll House morsel. As in, “Check out the crunchies. Twelve o’clock dead ahead.”
Crutch: A best friend or true crew member. As in, “You’d better come with me to the dentist, because I need my crutch.”
Dolce dreams: When you’re pining for more than polyester and only Dolce & Gabbana will do.
Down for the twirl: Down for a specific cause. Or, a fashionista ready to rip the runway.
Drop an Altoid: A minty hint. A tasty hint. As in, “Who’s opening Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week? Come on, drop an Altoid!”
Ducats: Loot. Cash. Benjamins. As in, “Just put some ducats in my bucket and we’ll be skraiight, awright?”
Extra crispy: Angry or annoyed. As in, “Don’t take that extra-crispy tone with me, young lady.”
Fabbity: On the fab tip.
“Faboo is not you”: Despite your daydreams, you are not fabulous.
Fabulation: A compliment for fierceness. As in, “Mamacita, that outfit deserves a fabulation.”
Fashion forward: Taking inspiration from all around you instead of following trends.
Fashionation: An obsession with fashion in a good way.
Fashionista: A male or female who is true to the fashion game.
Feeling wiggly: Feeling jittery, nervous, hyper-anxious.
Feline fatale: A girl with catlike qualities—feminine, graceful, mysterious—who also possesses strong instincts. As in, “Ciara is such a feline fatale.”
Flossy: Someone who is conceited or down for showing off at the drop of a tin bangle. As in, “She’s so flossy!”
Flurry: Thoughts that circle wildly like a 1950s skirt. As in, “I just got a flurry. Why don’t we let the junior models work the meowch pouches in the show?”
Friend of Dorothy’s: Cute gay boy. The Dorothy in question is the main character in The Wizard of Oz.
Furbulous: Fabulous on the warm, fuzzy edge. Associated with feline fatale sensibilities.
Glitch: Someone who tends to clog the flow. As in, “Please don’t bring Taynasia to the party. She is such a glitch.”
Green with Gucci Envy: Jealous to the max.
Growing whiskers: Getting too upset. As in, “Stop growing whiskers and calm down please.”
Gucci hoochie: Someone who is obsessed with established designer labels and afraid to define their own sense of style.
Hervé Léger: French haute couture designer known for his trademark mummy-tight, body-sculpting bandage dresses which are sewn entirely by hand and have been worn by fashionistas from Alicia Keys to Naomi Campbell.
Horse and phony show: The act of performing elaborate antics that are merely designed to cover the fact that a scam or sham is being perpetrated right before your eyes.
Hot off the griddle: News or gossip so scandalabrious that your fingers are still scorching. “Honey, I got news for you hot off the griddle: Shalimar got nominated as one of the house leaders!”
Hush-hush on the plush: On the Q.T. On the DDL (down down low). In other words, the person is telling you: “Just don’t say you heard it from me!!”
Hype patrol: Publicity push for anything from a media event to a sweet sixteen party to a new designer or a hot new product. As in, “I’m gonna be on hype patrol all week so I can get nominated as a Catwalk house leader.”
Jitters and fritters: Not your garden variety type of fears; this type of high anxiety occurs when the stakes are high or you’re reaching for the sky.
Joints: Favorite songs or clothing items. As in, “You got the new PRPS jeans? I already got one of them joints—that wash is sick!”
Kaflamma: Drama times two. As in, “If we don’t get to our Catwalk meeting on time, there is going to be some serious kaflamma!”
Kaflempt: Upset. As in, “I’m feeling kaflempt today.”
Kaflustered: Discombobulated. Kaflempt. When you’re feeling wrecked about a situation.
Kanoodling: Acting smoochy with someone.
Kibbles ’n Bits: Loose change.
Kitten smitten: Someone who gets the feline’s charm. A friend of cats and cat girlies alike.
Knock-knock: Catwalk code word for spotting a designer knockoff.
La dolce vita: Italian for “the sweet life.”
Lap it up: To indulge in a good thing like getting compliments, or taking an extra sniff from a cashmere sweater.
Le podium: French for runway—the narrow, usually elevated platform on which models sashay during a fashion show.
Lite FM: Opposite of heavy or stressed. As in, “Don’t let Shalimar see that you’re sweating her bankroll. When she does her presentation, just keep it Lite FM.”
Loony spurts: Fits of temporary insanity. As in, “I can’t believe Ms. Lynx left me that nasty voice mail. She must be suffering from loony spurts.”
Major: Fierce times seven. As in, “That hat is major.”
Manny Hanny: Manhattan. The Big Apple. Aka: “Make Money Manny Hanny.”
Medi-okra: Average. Mediocre.
Meowch pouch: A feline fabbie drawstring pouch for carrying important essentials such as MetroCards, lipstick, keys. Can be worn on a string around the neck, or around the wrist. Designed and created by Felinez Cartera.
Meowching: Gossiping, sharing notes, or cupping your hands together in the Catwalk handshake with a member of your crew.
“Meowch forever!”: “May the power of feline fatales reign for infinity!”
Milk Dud: A party
pooper. As in, “She is such a Milk Dud.”
Modus operandi: Mode of operation. Rolling like that. As in, “Would you check out Tiara’s modus operandi? Now, that’s what I’m talking about.”
Ma chérie: French for “my dear.”
Moi: French for “me.” Pronounced “mwah.” As in “Are you talking to moi?”
Mos def: Most definitely. As in, “I’m mos def heading over to Mood Fabrics to check out the latest Gaultier gauze prints.”
“Mother Goose is on the loose!”: Catwalk code warning to watch your back when something is about to go down. The Catwalk crew also use it when they’re referring to hiding from the Catwalk director, Ms. Lynx.
“My pockets are nervous”: When you’re fresh out of ducats in the bucket. As in, “My pockets are nervous. Can you spring any Kibbles ’n Bits till Saturday?”
Numbing the tootsies: Pounding the pavement. Walking the extra mile to success. As in, “I’ve been numbing my tootsies for weeks. I know I’m getting nominated for class president.”
Off the hinge-y: Even more fabbie poo than “off the hook.” As in, “That Tracy Reese satin trench coat is off the hinge-y!”
“Oh, plissé”: “Please, don’t try it!” Pronounced “plee-say.”
One Big Face: A hundred-dollar bill.
Persnickety: Uppity. Highfalutin.
Pink Head: A friend of felines who worships at the altar of pinkdom. Also Pashmina’s nickname and the name of the jewelry collection by Tarina Tarantino.
Pose-off: A fashion posing contest. The movements are derived from the posing aspect of voguing. True voguers, however, will incorporate intricate dance movements into the competition or contest.
Prada or nada: When knockoffs will not do the trick. The real thing or bust.
Presto: Something or someone that is abracadabra fierce. As in, “We need some serious prestos to put on the seats at the fashion show.”
Prêt-à-porter: French word for ready-to-wear. In fashion parlance, it means clothes that are manufactured as opposed to haute couture, which is custom made.
Pronto soon: Right now. Same as tout de suite.
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