by Joan Davis
Selena nodded knowingly. “My family is a little hard to take all at once. But since Samson was being so obstinate about bringing you to meet us, I decided to come to you. When Samson called his father about what happened yesterday, I thought this would be a good opportunity. The rest of the family found out and decided to come as well.” Selena sighed. “That happens a lot. One person finds out, and then everyone knows and wants to be included.”
“I don’t understand,” Risa said, confused. “Why did you want to meet me?”
Selena stared at Risa for a moment, and then said, “Because I wanted to meet the woman my grandson has trusted his heart to after all this time.” At Risa’s shocked expression, Selena waved her hand. “Samson would never come right out and say it, because he is very protective of your privacy. He is very protective of you, period. He has never shown this kind of reserve about someone he was seeing. Now that I have seen you together, I am sure of it. He is in love with you.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Risa said, shaking her head. She pulled out the desk chair, suddenly needing to sit. She felt strange talking to someone else about Samson. Their relationship seemed somehow too personal to share with others.
Selena raised an eyebrow and asked, “You don’t care about my grandson?”
Risa stared at Samson’s grandmother in shock. “I do . . . I mean . . . Samson is very . . .,” Risa stopped trying to speak and just groaned and put her head in her hands.
Selena reached over and patted Risa’s shoulder gently. “It’s okay, Risa. I can tell you feel a great deal for my grandson.”
Risa groaned again. “Am I that obvious?”
Laughing quietly, Selena said, “It is not a bad thing to show you care. I know you have been through a horrible ordeal, and you now have to deal with these new threats. It is good to see that despite all of the emotional and physical pain you have endured, you are still able to give your heart to others. I know of people who have lost themselves totally over much less than what you have had to deal with in your short life. You must have a strong spirit to have survived with such grace. I very much wanted to meet you when I saw how much of my grandson’s heart was entwined with yours.”
Risa blushed and shook her head. “Most of the time I don’t really understand what I’m feeling, or not feeling, about anything. Sometimes, just for a few seconds after I wake up in the morning, I wonder if the last five years of my life has just been a horrible nightmare. But then I remember that my mom is gone, and I am here with my dad in this new town, meeting all these new people. It’s so strange for me. It’s very hard for me to connect with people anymore. I mean, what comes after ‘I was held captive and tortured for the last 5 years.’ Most people don’t know what to say to me, and I don’t know what to say to them.”
Risa sighed and smiled. “With Samson, it’s different. From the very beginning, I was able to be myself with him. I don’t understand why. I just feel like I can breathe deep when I’m around him. He takes me as I am. He doesn’t care that I’m not a fashion plate. He loves my weird hair. I can be angry, happy or sad. I can laugh, or cry, and Samson is just accepting. He doesn’t freak out or try to coddle me. I even like arguing with him, and he is really fun to tease.” Risa shrugged helplessly. “I am not really explaining this well, am I?”
Selena took Risa’s hands in hers. “I think you explained it just right. Samson sees the person you are and not the person you have been portrayed to be after what happened to you,” Selena said simply.
Risa choked back a surprised sob and nodded. “I sometimes think he is the only one who truly sees me,” she said, and looked down at her hands resting in her lap.
“You love my grandson very much. You both have great passion for one another. It is very clear to see.” At Risa’s surprised look, Selena Knight grinned. “I may be old, but I know about passion and wanting a man. I see how you both look at each other. Like I said, the feeling is mutual, you know. Samson is very attracted to you. He is not just being protective.”
Turning bright red, Risa said a little desperately, “Oh lord, I don’t even know how to answer that. You’re Samson’s grandmother. I can’t talk to you about this stuff.”
“Do you have anyone you can talk to about things like this?” Selena asked quietly.
Risa choked as tears clouded her eyes, so she just shook her head mutely.
Squeezing Risa’s hands, Selena said, “You must miss your mother very much.”
Risa nodded, and a sob escaped her throat. “So much,” she choked out, and suddenly found herself on her knees with Selena’s arms wrapped warmly around her. That fast, Risa finally allowed herself to feel the grief she had pushed down for so long. Sobs wracked her body as she let the pain come fully to the surface. These were not tears of fear and dread, but tears of grief and loneliness for a loved one lost. Healing tears.
The painful pictures Risa had in her head about her mother’s death mixed with poignant memories of Sandy Landau’s unconditional love for her. Risa wanted so much to be able to think of her mother without memories of that last horrible night and the guilt she felt intruding in her mind. She wanted only to remember the love and happiness her family shared. It was a hope Risa kept close to her heart.
For long minutes, Selena held Risa close and just rocked her back and forth. Finally, when Risa had quieted, Selena brushed her hair back from her face and said, “Risa, I know I can never replace your mother, but no matter what happens with you and Samson, you can always come to me for anything.”
Risa raised her head and gave Selena a tearful smile. “Thank you. It means a lot that you said that.”
“I mean it. I am a good listener,” Selena said earnestly.
Risa laughed despite her tears. “You look so much like Samson right now. I know you mean it. I haven’t let myself think about my mom very much, and it was only today after seeing how close your family is, that it sort of hit me. I miss having her love and advice. I used to hate it when she would try to talk to me about personal things. But I remember every single thing she ever told me.”
Selena nodded and said, “I was the same way. I would fight with my mother about the smallest offer of advice. Now I find myself offering the same advice to my children and their children.”
Risa got up and rubbed the remaining tears from her eyes. “Thank you for being so nice. I bet I look awful. I am not a pretty crier,” Risa said ruefully. She grabbed the clothes she had laid out before she took her shower and went into the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face and grimaced over her swollen eyes and red nose in the mirror. Her hair was a wild mess, as usual. She quickly dressed in a simple pair of jeans and soft blue baby-doll top and returned to Samson’s grandmother.
Selena had a large satchel in her hands and looked up at Risa. “I have something for you,” she said, reaching into the bag.
“You didn’t have to bring me anything,” Risa said, but curiosity had her sitting on the desk chair and taking the package, which was wrapped in a beautiful piece of cloth, from Selene’s hands. “What is it?” she asked.
“It is a healing balm,” Selena said simply. She peeled back the cloth as Risa held it and revealed a tightly-sealed apothecary jar filled with a thick, creamy substance. “I work with herbs and healing plants. I made up this balm to treat your back.”
Risa looked at the balm and then at Selena. “Thank you for the gift, but my back is already healed. They treated me in the hospital. I have scars, but I can’t do anything about those,” Risa said, shrugging self-consciously.
Selena spoke cautiously. “Samson told me that the scars really bother you. He is worried that you hide yourself because of them. This balm has a combination of herbs and plants that can help your skin repair itself. The scars will fade and will be less noticeable”
“Samson wants me to use this so the scars are less apparent?” Risa asked, feeling a little hurt. He had told her many times that her scars didn’t matter to him.
Selena shook her head. “He di
dn’t ask for himself. He knows you hate them. He told me how unfair it is that you have to live with those horrible reminders of what was done to you. If he could take those scars on himself, he would gladly do it. Samson knew I could help. I had given the same balm to him to lessen a scar he got after receiving a knife wound a few years ago.”
“You mean the one on his right side under his arm?” Risa asked, and then blush, when Selena raised a brow. “I saw it when we were swimming,” Risa said lamely.
Selena grinned, but merely replied, “Yes. It was very puffy and red, and now it is almost gone.”
Risa nodded, remembering how smooth Samson’s scar was compared to the ones on her back. She looked at the balm and asked hopefully, “Do you really think it will help me?”
“I really think it will. It cannot hurt you, but if you don’t want to use it, I will understand,” Selena said sincerely.
“How do I use it? Do I have to do anything special?” Risa asked.
“Just rub it on the area you want treated before you go to sleep at night. That should be enough. It is good for your skin, regardless of its condition, and you can use it more often if you feel it is working for you,” Selena explained.
“Thank you,” Risa gushed. “I would love to learn about all the natural healing methods you use for people. It sounds fascinating.”
“Anytime you want, just have Samson bring you to my house. I will show you my herb garden and other sacred healing places,” Selena said, and then looked rueful. “I guess we should make our reappearance before they send up emergency flares.”
Looking over her shoulder and all the drawings on Risa’s walls, Selena asked, “Will I end up on your wall?”
Risa smiled gently and said, “Only if you don’t mind.”
“I would like that, I think,” Selena said and winked.
Giggling Risa stood up and helped Selena stand, too. Impulsively, she hugged Selena and whispered, “You were right. It was the perfect day to come. I am so glad I met you today.”
Hugging Risa back, Selena said, “Me too.”
CHAPTER 10
Risa looked around at the trees and foliage surrounding her and breathed in the fresh air. She loved walking on the wooded trails near her home. The wind was blowing gently through the trees. Suddenly, hands grabbed her from behind and started dragging her away. She tried to scream, but no sound would come out of her mouth.
Whispers hissed through the trees and surrounded Risa like the wind. “You’re gonna pay for what you did. You caused my kin’s blood to spill, so your blood is forfeit. You’re gonna feel the same pain he felt when that bastard killed him. You’re mine, witch, and I claim the right to avenge my brother. You’ll pay for every drop of blood he spilled.”
With every word, pain scorched down Risa’s back and throughout her body. She knew it wouldn’t stop until he’d had had his fill. He had told her over and over it was her fault. He blamed her for his brother’s death. She would pay slowly and painfully. He would make sure she suffered the way his kin suffered. Her blood would flow the same way his brother’s had flowed.
A softer voice coaxed Risa to lay face down on the old couch in the basement. “I know it’s painful, but we have to clean the wounds. I am so sorry. If I could stop this, I would. At least for now you can sleep on the couch. He won’t be back for a while. I’ll try to sneak food down for you later. I really am so sorry.” The soft voice faded in and out.
Again, Risa felt the lashes land on her back. It had started again. The beatings and then a period of healing, over and over again. It was never-ending. A frosted mask appeared before her. The voice was kind and sorrowful. “If I had known what they were up to, I would have stopped all of this before it began. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I know you and your family are good people. I’m going to help you.” Risa felt relief, and then terror, as they began killing the man with the kind voice.
Risa’s mother, Sandy, stood smiling in the kitchen. She was taking something out of the oven. Her mother watched in fear as she was being pulled away. “No! Please don’t take my daughter.” Sandy Landau was looking at one of the people holding them. “You . . .?” she said. “You’re . . .” Sandy began, but the man lunged towards her and slit her throat. Dark blood poured out of her mouth, and as she met her daughter’s eyes, she reached out her hand, before collapsing to the floor.
Risa saw Samson and her father laid out on slabs of stone, as sharp knives began slashing their bodies into ribbons. Voices whispered again. “I’ll take away the kin you love. You will never be allowed to love. You’ll know only pain. Revenge is mine.” Bitter laughter rained down on Risa as she begged for the lives of those she loved. “Oh God, don’t kill him. He was just trying to help me. Just kill me. Oh please, don’t! You’re killing him. Please, he was just trying to help me.”
Risa gazed in horror at the blood pouring from Samson’s and her father’s bodies. Blood that ran down the stone and into large bowls. The frosted masks floated towards her with the blood-filled bowls. “You must drink. You must drink. You must drink.” Risa shook her head violently and started screaming as the blood poured over her. She was drowning. The blows from the whip began scorching her back. “You will pay for what you did.”
Bright light pierced Risa’s eyes, and they shot open. She was hoarsely screaming and couldn’t seem to stop. Someone was trying to hold her down, and she fought him, trying to escape. “Risa stop. It’s okay. I’ve got you, honey. Nothing can hurt you now.” But Risa kept fighting.
Suddenly, two enormous arms wrapped around her and she was enveloped in warmth. “Baby, I’ve got you. Wake up and look at me. You’re safe,” Samson’s low voice penetrated Risa’s nightmare.
Risa felt the words inside her and reached up to her chest, as Samson kept up a litany of comforting words. “Samson,” she whispered. Risa sobbed, as she finally recognized her surroundings. She was in her bedroom at Samson’s home. She was in Samson’s arms, and he was holding her tightly against him. She lifted her head from his shoulder and met his concerned stare. “I remember,” Risa gasped, and then saw her father. “Daddy, I remember,” she said desperately, trying to make them understand, but she couldn’t get her breath. Her chest was so tight. “I can’t breathe . . .” Risa tried to take a deep breath, but couldn’t, and began to panic. “I can’t breathe,” Risa wheezed, her eyes terrified.
She felt Samson quickly lift her and carry her out of her room. Risa was gasping painfully for air. She knew other people were there, but she couldn’t focus. Suddenly, Samson had her outside on the back porch and then down onto the open deck. “Risa breathe with me. We’re outside baby. There is plenty of air. Just look at me and breath,” Samson coaxed.
Risa stared at Samson as she tried to match his breathing. Slowly, the tightness in her chest grew less, and she was able to take deeper breaths. She shuddered and closed her eyes as she was finally able to breathe normally again.
Samson gently brushed her hair back from her face. “That’s it. Take deep breaths. Feeling better?” he asked, looking into Risa’s eyes and smiling.
Risa nodded and realized she was surrounded by her father, Samson’s parents and Selena Knight. Embarrassment colored her face. “I’m so sorry,” she said, looking at everyone.
Samson’s mother dropped down next them and gently took Risa’s hand. “Honey, I’m the one who needs to apologize to you. I know having the entire family arrive here at one time must have been trying for you. I should have put my foot down and respected Samson’s request to stay away. Can you forgive an interfering mother?” Mauve asked tearfully.
Risa looked at Samson’s mom a little helplessly. “Please don’t cry. I loved meeting your family. All of you are amazing. Your being here had nothing to do with my nightmare, honestly,” Risa said sincerely, trying to comfort Mauve Knight. She looked at her dad for help.
“Mauve, Risa has been suffering nightmares on and off since she came back. It had nothing to do with your visit,” Bill Landau re
assured her. He took a shaky breath. “I just couldn’t seem to wake her up this time.”
Samson looked down at Risa in concern. “Wait, Risa, you haven’t had a nightmare since the night of the storm.” Samson felt Risa shift uneasily in his arms and looked at Bill. “Has she?” He knew she hadn’t had any since they had starting sleeping together, but he kept that to himself.
Bill sighed and looked at Risa regretfully. “I have usually been able to wake her up before things got too bad. Risa didn’t want you to know.”
“How often?” Samson growled the question.
“It happens once or twice a week. Most of them occur after one of her therapy sessions,” Bill said reluctantly. “I think it’s because everything is so fresh in her mind after she leaves the therapist’s office.”
“Damn it, Bill, you should have told me,” Samson said in frustration.
Feeling Risa shiver, and not sure if was from the night air or her nightmare, Samson stood up with her in his arms and walked back into the house. He set Risa gently on the couch and covered her with an afghan he retrieved from one of the chairs.
Risa sat back and looked at Samson sadly. “Please don’t be angry. I hate that Dad has to put up with being woken up by my nightmares so often. I just didn’t want you to have to do it too.” Risa bit her lip, looking embarrassed and miserable.
Bill rubbed his neck and said, “Sam, Risa doesn’t even remember anything about the dreams most of the time. The only reason she knows that it happens is because at times she finds me sleeping in a chair by her bed when she wakes up in the morning.”
Samson sat on the coffee table in front of Risa and sighed. He leaned forward and cupped Risa’s face between his hands and said, “I’m not angry, but get this through that thick head of yours. I am two hundred and fifty pounds of mean and hateful. I can take a nightmare or two, or twenty. You got that, woman? No more hiding crap from me. I’m not having it, and since you just took about ten years off my life, I get to boss you around on this.”