I found a mug and poured my coffee as I said, “I’m home.”
“Alone?”
I let out a long sigh. “Yeah.”
“I’m on my way.”
Without another word, she hung up the phone and I assumed she was coming over. It was probably for the best anyhow. Telling one sister normally meant everyone in the family knew within an hour. Secrets were never our thing.
I found some leftover bread and made myself a breakfast of sorts.
The food didn’t fill me though. Nothing did. I kept remembering Jacob’s words. I loved him, but I’d slipped back into the bedroom without saying a word. I cringed as a total coward. I let out another long sigh and cleaned up my plate, just as my doorbell rang. I didn’t ask, and just buzzed Nicole in.
However, when I opened the door, three of them were there. Georgie had a box of her homemade chocolate chip muffins and Olivia had gourmet coffees she’d bought that matched Nicole’s demands to only drink free-trade brands. Nicole patted me on the back and took out a box of fresh strawberries as she walked into my place. I hugged my other sisters and said, “Georgie, I hadn’t expected you, and Olivia, too.”
Georgie held me tighter, like she’d take my pain from me if she could, and said, “Nicole said you sounded miserable. What happened to your husband?”
I walked in with my sisters, but my eyes burned as I said, “I … we were a business deal, not meant to be together forever.”
Georgie squeezed my hand and said, “That didn’t seem like business in my house. And you both went out of your way to help Ridley, and we figured out he sent his lawyer for Joseph’s trial.”
Did I have an eyelash in my eyes or something? I was misty-eyed as I said, “He did. He’s the best man I’ve ever met.”
Nicole said, “That doesn’t sound like business. You both seemed happy.”
I sniffled like I was sick and said, as I stared at all of them, “We all swore we’d be nothing like our parents.”
Georgie pushed a muffin at me and said, “I broke that vow already.”
My sister was now the happiest person I’d ever known. She glowed, all the time. For the first time in what felt like years, but was really less than twenty-four hours, my lips curled up in a smile. I said, “Georgie, you and Michael were in love before anything happened to our parents.“
My cheeks were wet.
Georgie blushed a little and said, “That’s not exactly true. We met before then, and conceived Jeremy, but we fell in love later.”
Georgie had bloomed into a better version of herself lately. I kept my head down and whispered, “You’re in love, and you’d never be like mom.”
She said, “Neither will you.”
That eyelash must be bad as I couldn’t stop the tears. I let out a small “ha” and I shook my head.
Olivia, the youngest, dug in her pockets as she said, “No, you’ve been more like dad, and living up to his belief that you were the son he never had.”
Crying was unusual for me. I ignored it as I said, “Probably.”
“Not probably,” Nicole said, like she had all the answers in the world. “Look, none of us are defined by birth order or what we do for each other. We’re friends and family.”
Olivia slapped the table as she said, “Ridley would still claim she’s the Jan of our family.”
Ridley added fast, “I am.”
I said, “Don’t be silly. You care about everyone and have a huge heart.”
Georgie’s nose wrinkled as she said, “And by the way, if you want anything more to worry about, Stephanie’s having problems in England.”
Nicole quickly rubbed Georgie’s back as she said, “That sucks.”
I nodded and let out a cough. My hands were wet from wiping tears from my eyes.
Nicole said, “I’m sure she’s upset, but honestly, we never met her guy to judge. We all agreed you and Jacob fit together.”
Nicole shoved a tissue at me as Georgie pressed her hand to her heart.
They’d talked about me? I swallowed and asked, “What?”
I squeezed the tissue in my palm, but didn’t move as Olivia said, “He’s like our dad, in a small way.”
My eyes widened. Seriously? No. My skin still tingled from the memory of Jacob’s touch and that comment just made me squeeze my arms together and look away. I said, “He’s nothing like Dad.”
Georgie took a sip of her coffee and said, “He took over like he had a say in helping our family, without even mentioning that he’d done anything.”
I relaxed in my chair and nodded as I said, “That doesn’t mean anything.”
Tears fell onto the table in front of me and Georgie said, “You’re crying.”
“No,” I said, but used the tissue in my hand to dry my face.
It was soaked through. Nicole put another in front of me and said, “Here take another tissue.”
I sobbed and lowered my head to the table. My sisters were all clearly wiser about being a girl than I was. I said between sobs, “I screwed everything up. It’s probably too late anyhow.”
Olivia took my hands in hers. “You never screw up anything.”
They had no idea how horrible I was. I lifted my face, with my hand covering my lips. “I left him a letter. I left without a goodbye.”
Nicole’s voice went from sympathetic to shocked as she asked, “Wait, what?”
I’d ruined my life with Jacob. I’d been so terrified that I’d transform into some Stepford wife who never worked or did anything without talking to her husband—like my mother had been, and like I’d secretly hated about her. I sniffed as I said, “He won’t forgive me for just leaving.”
Georgie’s face was pale as she looked at me and asked, “Why did you do that?”
“Because I don’t ever want to be like Mom,” I said.
She came over and hugged me. She was always the one who took care of us, the glue that held us all together. “You can’t be. You’ve never been abused or had to overcome what she did.”
True. Our mom had lived through trauma that I’d never imagine. I’d been coddled and raised to be financially secure. I took the hug, though, and said, “I need to be strong and take care of Mom’s shelters.”
Nicole put her coffee cup down and said, “Speaking of that, a twenty-five-million-dollar donation popped up this morning that will cover any financial calamity we might have to face.”
I froze. My heart began to race as I asked, “What?”
My lips didn’t quite close.
Nicole repeated, “Mom’s shelters received a twenty-five-million-dollar donation this morning from Sun and Moon Trust. It’s why I called you.”
I jumped to my feet, almost knocking into my sister, but she backed away in time. I paced as I hugged my waist and said, “Jacob.”
Olivia laughed and said, “We guessed.”
More tears fell. I had never cried like this in my life. I couldn’t stop it. I said, “I gave his money back to him this morning.”
Nicole stared with those big blue eyes of hers and blinked like I was crazy. “Huh?”
I dropped my hands at my sides. They were trembling, so I clutched the wall as I said, “He’d given me twenty-five million that I intended to use for the shelters. I sent it back this morning.”
Nicole said, “The money showed up at eight a.m.”
My tears were like rivers. He hadn’t accepted the money I’d returned. I’m not sure why, or what that meant, but I sniffled as I said, “After I left Florida.”
Georgie said, “He must still love you.”
The huge gulf inside me closed, but I pressed my fist to my chest. “I … that was sweet of him.” But then enough tears to fill the emptiness inside me poured out of my eyes and didn’t stop. I had no idea how to turn off the faucet. I said, “I was so scared of turning into Mom, who never spoke her opinion about anything, that I sabotaged my life.”
Georgie brushed my hair off my face and asked, “Can’t you at least try to fix this
?”
I finally stopped crying and asked, “How?”
“Go see him.”
Nicole came over and sprayed me with one of her lotions and then used some pink egglike sponge to clean my face. I needed to at least tell him that I loved him, too. He’d had my heart long before this moment, but I’d been so scared. I let Nicole finish and then bent my head.
“Yeah, I need to find him.”
Olivia tapped the window as she said, “I found him already.”
I twitched and blood rushed in my veins as I asked, “What?”
My baby sister then pointed through the window and we all looked outside as she said, “He’s outside your building.”
Adrenaline rushed through me and gave me new energy. I covered my lips. “He’s here?”
Georgie snapped her fingers and pointed to the door as she said, “That’s our cue, girls.”
I grabbed her arm and held her as I asked, “Where are you going?”
She unhooked herself and said, “You and your husband need to talk, alone.”
My husband. I wasn’t sure I had one anymore, but I swallowed and opened the door for them and said, “I love you.”
Each one hugged me like they’d give me strength, and Nicole said, “We’ll always be sisters. Good luck groveling. It’s not your strong suit.”
I laughed at her joke and said, “Thanks.”
I closed the door and ran to a mirror. I didn’t deserve a second chance, but if this was one, I’d answer the door at least looking presentable.
Then I’d tell him I loved him. Even if he didn’t want me, he had the right to know. And this time, instead of running in fear, I’d stand my ground and choose love.
Chapter 18
Jacob
My empty stomach had flutters and my skin tingled. This wasn’t me. I was never nervous around women. I glanced up at her condo building as the cold morning air brushed against my skin, but I was paralyzed.
If she let me in and accepted the ring in my pocket, I’d have everything I’d ever need. If she slammed the door in my face and told me she didn’t love me, then I had my answer.
I hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything else but her for hours now, and my palms were sweaty as I entered the building.
However my heels skidded on the marble floor as I stared at the front desk. My flowers were sitting there.
My heart raced. Had she refused them?
A cold tremble raced down my spine, like she’d refuse me too. However, I signed my name and they sent me upstairs.
The security guard behind the desk called after me, “Please tell her to call the front desk back, so we can deliver her flowers.”
I stilled and took a rosy-scented breath. She hadn’t ignored me. I swallowed and nodded, then I tipped them to follow me. If she let me in, they were to deliver them right away. Security took the hundred-dollar bill, and we headed up to her condo.
As I neared her door, my shoulders were tight. I hoped she wouldn’t kick me out. But then I knocked.
She opened the door wearing red lipstick and my heart felt like a cartoon heart, bursting out of my body. I ignored how my hands shook and said, “Indigo.”
She motioned with her head to come inside and my feet proceeded to walk a little lighter. As she closed the door, I said, “You never checked your messages.”
She lifted and released her shoulders like she didn’t care. “It’s just the front desk on the missed call list. I’d deal with whatever the building issue is later—”
Security knocked on the door and her eyebrows wrinkled. I needed to set the right tone for romance and hope—not like last night, when I’d been angry. She opened the door and the security guard pushed a cart with six bouquets of flowers into her condo. She pressed her hand to her heart and stared at me as she asked the obvious. “Are those flowers?”
“Yes,” I said, and then handed a second tip to the guard.
Once he left, I squared my shoulders. We were alone.
She smelled the red roses and closed her eyes. My skin electrified as I fixed my tie and said, “Okay.”
I bounced on my feet. This was the moment I’d waited for. I reached into my pocket, brushing against the ring box, as I said, “I wasn’t sure what you’d consider romantic, but I wanted to try.”
She played with the collar of her shirt and asked, “Try what?”
I wrapped my fingers around the velvet box and ignored the nervousness in my voice as I said, “Everything in my power.”
She brushed her fingertips against the flowers and said, “Okay. Well, these are beautiful.”
Those were the tip of the iceberg. I stepped forward and ignored the fast pulsing of my veins as I said, “And I came to tell you I love you. I don’t want a divorce. I want to tear up the contract and I want us to live together, for the rest of our lives.”
Her eyes welled with tears as she trembled. “You don’t have to say that.”
I showed her the engagement and wedding ring set I’d bought for her this morning and said, “I do. I bought you a ring.”
She took my hand and more tears washed down her cheek, but she said, “Stop.”
I forced myself to step back to give her space and put my hand in my pocket. I didn’t blink, though, as I said, “I can’t.”
This was it. I ignored how tight my stomach and insides were. I’d not been this nervous in years, but I said, “I’ve never been in love with anyone before. And I’m used to winning.”
She wiped her face and threw her arms around my neck as she said, “You already did. I love you.”
Wait. She loved me? My head had a hard time believing that. She’d left. Without saying goodbye. Her holding me now sent a shockwave through me as I slowly wrapped my arm around her. I said, “You didn’t yesterday.”
“I did.” She rested her head on my shoulder and her lips were close to my skin as she said, “It was on the tip of my tongue, but I was afraid.”
My eyebrows narrowed and I squeezed her. “Of what?”
She leaned away from me, but stayed in my arms, as she met my gaze. “That I’d turn into my mother, who never voiced an opinion other than ‘yes, whatever you say.’”
Indigo as the silent type had never crossed my mind. I ran my hand up and down her spine as I said, “My mom was nothing like that.”
She turned and pointed me toward her white couch, and held my hand as she led me over to sit. I followed her as she asked, “What was she like?”
The best person in the world. She said she loved me, every day. I settled on the couch and said, “She was proud, stubborn, independent and didn’t care what anyone said about her.”
Her lips curled higher on the face and she said, “Sounds like I’d like her.”
I patted her knee and leaned in as my stomach slowly unknotted. I said, “In a few small ways, you’re like her.”
Her integrity was her most important possession. I laughed and glanced at the white ceiling as I said, “You walked away from money.”
Her eyes widened and her face went white. “It wasn’t mine to take, and I’ve always fixed my own problems.”
Exactly what my mom might have said. Indigo was a keeper and I scooted closer as I said, “Now you can … with more money behind you.”
She squeezed my thigh and said, “That still feels weird to me, but we’ll talk about that later.”
My lips ached to kiss her now, but I said, “So you’ll stay married to me?”
She lifted her chin but her eyes stayed open as she said, “Yes, but let me talk first.”
Right. I wrapped my arm around her back and said, “Okay.”
She scooted her knees to rest on my leg as she said, “I was afraid of falling in love. I was always the moneymaker of the family. I never wanted to be distracted and I didn’t believe in the fairy tales. So I never really let myself kiss that many frogs.”
My ears buzzed. I tapped my chin and asked, “But?”
Her cheeks and face turned a little r
ed as she said, “Yeah … But then I met you, and I don’t ever want to kiss anyone else. I don’t want to be anywhere else but at your side. And that scared me.”
A zap of awareness rushed through me, but I didn’t dare move a muscle. I said, “I didn’t expect that. Though I wouldn’t mind your opinion about something.”
Her gaze narrowed. “What’s going on?”
She’d been honest, and now it was my turn. Ever since we’d met, she’d asked me about my own dreams, beyond getting even with my father. I said, “Russ and Frank both told me I’ve been so focused on my business plans against my father that I’ve not lived.”
She tilted her head and her eyes were softer as she asked, “Have you decided what you want to do?”
In part, she inspired me. She kept her parents’ good deeds alive, and it was time for me to do a little for my own mom. I’d never honored her. I lowered my voice, as this was a secret, and said, “Part of Sun and Moon Trust is a bookstore chain.”
Her lips pressed together like she didn’t understand and she asked, “Yeah?”
Energy coursed through me, but I let it roll off as I said, “Don’t get me wrong. I will sell off most of the companies and continue business as usual, but I’d like to honor my mother’s favorite hobby and ensure the book chain flourishes.”
She traced my buttons on my shirt and asked, “Your mom read a lot?”
A memory flashed. I never remembered her without a book while she waited in the car line to pick me up from school. I could see her reading as I watched some movie on our one TV in the one-bedroom apartment we shared. I nodded and said, “She had stacks of books from libraries, and from shelters we’d stayed at. I want to turn those stores around in her honor.”
She loosened my tie and said, “I’ll help with PR.”
Did she want me? Desire now bloomed inside me, but I didn’t dare move. I said, “Thank you.”
She laughed and took my tie off as she said, “And maybe one day you’ll figure out what you want to do that makes you happy.”
Ruthless Financier (Steel Series Book 3) Page 14