I think back to Seb’s words that it will be Natasha who will be doing the scene for us to watch. Heat flourishes across my cheeks at the thought of seeing Natasha being intimate with the woman beside her. My heart drums in my chest, imagining her carrying out the explicit acts that Seb has done to me. With me. The beautiful images from my Tumblr blog—women tied, bound and willingly submitting to the wills of their Doms.
“I’m glad that Natasha can hold your attention, sweetheart.” Seb’s deep voice forces my attention back to him. The gleam in his eyes fails to hide his mirth. I dip my eyes from his gaze and busy myself with my hands in my lap. “Don’t hide from me, Isabel. I like that you’re interested in what’s going to happen tonight.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know how I’d feel about seeing Natasha… here.”
“And how do you feel?” His question ignites my blush once again.
“Um, eager… I’ve been trying to anticipate what will happen and I’m hopeful that this will do what I want it to.”
“What about watching Natasha? You’ve met her before. Are you comfortable with that now that you’re here?”
“Yes.” I look up and try to sound as confident as possible.
“Good girl.” Seb sweeps a thumb across my bottom lip, sending sparks through my blood. My eyes dart back to where Natasha was standing, but she’s nowhere in sight.
I take another long draw of my drink before Seb stands and pulls me up beside him. My hands attempt to pull down the hem of my dress, but to no avail. It is still as ridiculously short as when I first put it on.
“Stop fidgeting. You look delicious.” I still and take a deep breath. Pulling myself up in stature, I let Seb guide me the rest of the way, down the staircase and along the corridor to the other set of frosted glass doors. As we approach, they open and we’re welcomed into the main room. How I thought I could ever come here alone is beyond me, but my resolve is still strong. My heartbeat betrays my nerves but I refuse to show my trepidation.
Seb runs the tips of his fingers down my back before placing his hand just above my bum. All of his light, gentle touches have been building up. He’s making sure that I’m used to his hands on me, that I’m happy with it. The familiar yearning that his touch elicits is growing in presence and I welcome it.
Much like the first visit, we walk slowly around the room. As it’s early, there are few people playing. The only other people we come across are seated in secluded areas, perhaps waiting for the evening to develop. We approach the area where we watched the Dom and his sub on the St. Andrew’s cross. This time, I see Natasha and her sub. Natasha has her back to us, but I can see the expression on her sub’s face. She’s high on pleasure as Natasha brushes her skin with the ends of her flogger. Seb has drawn me close against his side and he whispers to me.
“This isn’t part of what I have planned. This is the warm up, if you will, for our scene. I want you to watch carefully and look for Sarah’s expressions.”
“Who’s Sarah?”
“Natasha’s sub.” I watch as Natasha takes her time to pet and soothe Sarah, to keep almost constant contact with her, ensuring she is happy. Yet, at the same time as showing the highest level of concentration and care of her sub, she looks totally dangerous. Her stance, the power that she exudes is like a physical force field around her.
My eyes flick between the cuffs around Sarah’s wrists on the cross and her face. At no point does she try to pull away or escape. If anything, she is relaxing further into her bonds the more attention Natasha gives her.
“They will finish in a minute and move across to the spanking bench. That’s when our scene will start.” Seb’s chocolate voice tickles the shell of my ear and sends a course of goose bumps across my skin. So far, all I’ve felt by watching is a deep sense of desire and even envy. I want to be able to put myself in the position that Sarah is in. I want the attention that I know Seb will show me.
The mental and physical frustration that have been wearing on me are beginning to take their toll. Yesterday saw the first fissure break, and I know that it won’t take much to let the cocktail of fear, frustration, desire and hope overcome me.
Natasha unties Sarah and steadies her as she moves across to the spanking bench as Seb said. As they move, Seb shifts behind me and encircles my chest with his arm so I’m braced against his body. His other arm is gripping my hip, keeping me in place.
“We’ll watch, and I’ll tell you everything I’d do if it were you and me up there. I want you to respond as if we are in their position. If anything gets too much, use ‘yellow’. You will do as I say without any hesitation. Understand?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
“Cross your hands in front of you at the wrists and keep them down.”
I do as I’m asked and keep my arms flat against me.
“Good girl.” Seb’s lips press softly against my temple. “Natasha is binding Sarah’s hands with silk behind her back. It will be tight enough that she won’t be able to free herself, but won’t cause her wrists to hurt.” Seb describes the scene that I watch in front of me. As Sarah’s hands are tied, I see Natasha check her work and then lie her sub gently across the spanking bench. Her hands are, again, in constant contact with Sarah’s skin. If she is in need of reassurance, she has it. I can see Natasha walk around and kneel by Sarah.
“She’ll be checking in with her. Knowing Natasha, she’ll also be building the anticipation for the sub. Sarah can’t see us now, so Natasha will likely be telling her about all of the eyes fixed on her exposed pussy, how they can all see how much she likes to submit. When I do this to you, Isabel, there won’t be anyone else looking at your pretty pussy. It will be for my eyes only. I’ll be the one to make you hot and needy. I don’t want to share a single part of you with someone else.”
His hand runs around from my hip to give my bum a harsh squeeze before going back to its original position. Seb’s words and seeing what is unfolding in front of me is a heady mix that has all of my senses focused on what’s around me. There is no room for anything else, and for that, I’m grateful.
“In this position, bent over, your arse will be on perfect display for me. I’ll be able to spank you if you’ve been naughty, or give you the attention I know you crave from me.” Again, his hand moves around to squeeze my bum, and as he does, the hem of my dress hitches up higher on my thigh.
Natasha is still in front of Sarah, talking to her, but I can see that Sarah is growing restless. She is fidgeting against the bench. The light in the room is just enough to show the glistening wetness between her legs, betraying her arousal. My temperature rockets and I fight my own need to fidget.
“What are you thinking, Isabel? I can feel all of your reactions like this, and I need you to talk to me.”
“I… I can see how turned on Sarah is. I can see that she’s wet.”
“Yes, I have no doubt that she will be enjoying this. Are you? Are you wet already from what you’ve seen?”
“Yes, I like watching this. I’m not sure if I should, but it’s very intimate.” I try to articulate my foggy thoughts.
Seb’s fingers toy with the exposed flesh of my thigh, his other arm keeping me anchored to his chest. Natasha moves around Sarah and picks up her flogger again. With rapid movements, she lands light blows up and down Sarah’s back, bum and thighs. Her strikes beat out a steady and sure rhythm that relaxes my overactive heart. Now it’s Seb’s turn to keep constant contact with my skin. His fingers dig into my thigh, rub circles and inch higher before moving to a new spot. Watching the spanking and feeling Seb’s innocent touch is making me desperate. I want to feel his touch. I want to be under his command.
“Natasha is going to move Sarah again into a more personal position. She’s going to continue the spanking across her lap so she can be in total contact and control of her. Her hands will still be tied. Sarah will have to give Natasha permission to do this, but I doubt that she’ll have any thought of objecting. Have you noticed how turned on she is? Ho
w much her body wants what Natasha is giving to her?”
With Seb’s direction, my eyes linger on Sarah’s parted legs and I can see that her pussy lips are wet and dewy. Natasha stops her flogging and comes to stand at the side of Sarah. Making sure we have a clear view of what she’s doing, she sweeps a finger through her wet folds. Sarah groans in response, the first time I’ve heard her, and I can’t help my own mewl of need.
Seb’s hand trails up behind my backside and skims a feather touch against my pussy. That touch is nowhere near enough and I want Seb to touch me like Natasha is touching Sarah. “Sebastian, will you touch me? Please?”
“Mmm… certainly.” His fingers sweep over my lips, sending shocks to my neglected clit. “You’re wet Isabel. You’re beautifully wet. Do you want my fingers in you? Do you want me to bury them deep into your tight pussy until you clench around them?”
Oh sweet lord. “Yes, please… Please, Sir.” His finger pushes inside me and I’m enveloped by relief followed by heat. Pleasure spikes as he slowly draws his finger back and replaces it with two, making my knees quake in my standing position. My hands haven’t moved from in front of me, but I feel desperate to wrap them around Seb, to get as close to him as I can. I’m split between wanting to watch the play between Natasha and Sarah and just focusing on Seb. I know that it’s both actions that have led me to let go of my fear and open up and relax into Seb. That and him getting me so damn horny I’m begging for it.
Natasha and Sarah have moved. I can see that Natasha is sitting now, and Sarah is kneeling at her feet. She is offering her hands to Natasha for her to bind them again.
“Sarah will have her hands tied in the front this time.” Seb’s fingers still play with me and I can feel the building of my orgasm. He pulls his fingers out of me, leaving me empty, and I hold back the whimper lodged in my throat. His hand moves to mine, still diligently crossed in front of me. He rests his hands over mine and I fight my body’s instinctive need to tense up.
“Shh, sweetheart. Don’t panic. Focus on watching Sarah. She’s offering her hands to Natasha. She knows that Natasha won’t do anything against her wishes. She’s giving this to her—a sub to her Domme—like you give me your trust and your submission. Remember that first time? Remember your nerves, your lust, your strength to win through all of your doubts?” Seb’s words sink into my soul and I relax my hands. He rubs my wrists, making sure that I’m not going to tense on him again, and I can see that it’s working. I’m still here at Solace, not back with Phil. I can see Sarah’s hands are now bound and she’s resting her chest across Natasha and I can feel Seb adding pressure to my own hands, binding them with his.
“Natasha is going to start hand spanking Sarah. They have talked about what the spanking is for. I want you to listen to what I say and repeat what I say. I will spank you as well. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good girl. I’m going to hold your hands as well. I want you to give them to me. Place your crossed hands in my palm so that I can keep you still.” He moves his arm off my clavicle and I place my wrists in his hand. As I do, a loud smack sounds out and echoes through the room. My eyes flash to Sarah and recognise the pleasure spread across her face. Seb glides the remainder of my dress over my behind, giving him easy access.
As I watch Natasha’s hand arc down onto Sarah’s offered bottom, Seb lands his own soft smack to mine. “I will trust my Dom.” His deep gravelly voice resonates deep within me and I can’t help but feel the first crack in my emotions.
“I will trust my Dom,” I whisper back, trying to feel the words he’s asking me to say.
With Natasha’s next spank, Seb smacks me and delivers more words. “I will listen to my body.”
I repeat the words, now understanding what Seb is making me do.
“I will communicate openly.”
I repeat the line.
“I am wanted.”
I breathe through the words as I echo them back.
“I am needed.” Seb’s voice is calm and measured, telling me everything that I need to hear.
“I am needed.”
“I am loved.”
My eyes can’t hold back the tears any longer and they fall at my admissions back to Seb. All of my fears and worries are being laid bare for Seb to wash aside and replace with his strength and love. “I am loved.”
Determined to break me open completely, Seb continues. It’s harder to watch Sarah now through my bleary eyes, but I can hear her throaty moans of pleasure under Natasha’s hand.
“I am my own person,” I repeat, feeling the power that saying these words aloud gives me.
“I am independent.”
“I am independent.”
“I hold the power.”
“I hold the power.”
“My Dom loves me.”
“My Dom loves me.” Seb loves me. For who I am. With every hit, Seb opens me up to the truth that he’s been trying to tell me from day one. Finally, I’m in a position to accept and to hear him. My body softens against him, using him to support my limbs under the onslaught of emotional release. He turns me around, finally releasing his grip on my hands. I quiver, standing before him. Seb recaptures my hands and brings them to his lips to kiss.
“Do you understand now? Do you see? We’ll get through this, Isabel. I’ll be by your side. You’ve done so well tonight, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you.” He draws me in to an engulfing hug and I rest my head against his chest, listening to his racing heart.
I love this man with everything I have. I know that tonight has helped to lay some of my triggers to rest, but I’ll have to listen to Seb, be guided by him and trust that he can help me when I can’t see my way to helping myself.
“I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you. I seem to always be apologising.”
“Shh, not now. Now is for us. Just us. You have no idea how well you’ve done tonight. At the risk of pushing us too far too quickly, I want to go to our room.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“I meant what I said, Isabel. We’ll get through this together. Trust that.”
“I do, Sebastian. Thank you for getting me back to this place.”
“Always.”
“Always.”
6 months later
“Thank you, Amanda.”
“I’ll see you next month.”
I get up and leave Dr. Cross’s office after my latest session. Over the last few months, we’ve been working through a lot of my negative views and where they stem from, and with Seb’s help, I’ve been making real progress. I don’t see Amanda as a counsellor, but a confidante with whom I can share my troubles. She helps me to see my own problems and to work through them without simply telling me what to do.
It’s early evening and my next stop is Jess. I have a favour to ask her, and hope that she’s free. As I pull up outside her house, I see Greg storm out, slamming the door behind him and barging past.
“Jess?” I call out as I open the door. “It’s me.”
“Hey, come in, come in.”
“You sure? I just saw Greg and he didn’t look happy.”
“Well, Greg is never happy. Drink?”
“Just a tea, please. Is everything alright between you two?”
“It’s the usual story. We’re not exactly seeing eye to eye. What are you doing here, anyway? It’s lovely to see you.” She brings two steaming cups of tea over to the table and we both sit down.
“Well, I sort of need a favour. Are you free now?”
“Now? Um… yes. What do you need?”
“I need you to come with me to an appointment. It shouldn’t take long. A couple of hours, tops.”
“Sure. Where are we going? Are you alright?” The concern in Jess’s voice is heart-warming and I struggle to keep my amusement to myself.
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s a good thing. I just need you to hold my hand.”
“Izzy, you know how I feel about being kept in the dark.”
“Y
ou’ll see.” I grin at her, my smug smile beaming from behind my tea cup.
An hour later, we’re both sitting in the small waiting area of a tattoo shop. The walls are dark and littered with pictures, randomly arranged in gilded frames.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” Jess whispers beside me.
“I know. It’s exciting.” My heart is beating fiercely in my chest.
“I’m all up for holding your hand, but why, exactly, are you having a tattoo?”
I’ve been purposefully vague to her but it’s time to come clean.
“It’s my wedding gift. Or engagement gift, really.”
“Engagement? You’re going to marry Seb?”
“Yes.” My smile splits my face and my cheeks begin to ache with the joy at admitting to the decision that I came to a few weeks ago. Jess bundles me into her for a hug and we rock back and forth on the small sofa.
“Oh, you totally deserve this, Izzy. What made you change your mind?” She pulls back from our hug.
“Nothing specific. I think I just needed time to make the decision for me. It was always Phil or Seb taking charge of my life, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be married again. If I was going to get married, I wanted it to be my decision, not because I wanted to please Seb. This is my choice and I choose Seb.”
“He’s going to be beside himself. He doesn’t know yet?”
“No. I hope so.”
“Don’t start doubting now.”
“I’m not. Don’t worry. He’s stopped asking and I think that helped. It took the pressure off me and let me find my own answer and trust my feelings. It’s taken a while to believe in them again.”
“Izzy? We’re ready for you now.” A willowy young woman calls us over and escorts us to the back of the shop. She points to a large leather chair that reminds me of a dentist’s chair, and a pulse of fear runs through me. “If you take a seat, Tanya will be over. She’s just printing out your design. Then we’ll get it placed before we start.”
The Izzy and Seb Collection: The Evermore Series Books 1, 2 and 2.5 Page 51