by John Lenahan
Cialtie and his Banshee sorceress rode closer. He shouted, ‘Enough talk, Maeve.’
‘Your comrade Cialtie,’ I said, ‘tried to destroy all of The Land and everything in it. Has he told you that?’
The old queen looked sharply to me in a way that made me regret speaking then she looked to her daughter for affirmation. Fand nodded yes.
‘I do not wish to kill you, daughter.’
‘I have lived too long with your name,’ Fand said. ‘If I fail to stop you today I will kill myself for the shame of being your progeny.’
I imagine that even if I were to stab Maeve with my pointy stick it wouldn’t hurt her as much as did her daughter’s words.
Macha on horseback stepped forward with Lugh at her side. ‘Enough, Maeve! Let this begin.’
‘Macha kidnapped a Fili child so as to bleed her for you,’ Nora said, ‘and when she was through she wanted to kill her. Is this the kind of future you want for The Land?’
‘And you know Lugh,’ Dad piped in. ‘Do you really think he will let you rule? Do you think any of them will?’
Maeve looked to all of us. If I was a betting man I would have bet that we were getting through to her. She looked down thoughtfully at her hands and then as fast as any viper she lashed out. Her hand in ghost form shot into Mom’s chest. Mom screamed and arched her whole body back in pain and terror.
We were all frozen with shock but that didn’t last long. When we all stepped forward to intervene, Maeve hissed, ‘One step closer and you shall see her heart.’
That’s the kind of threat that can stop you in your tracks. Maeve reached her other hand into Mom’s chest and when she pulled it out, her fist contained Mom’s Shadowrune. You could see it through her translucent fingers. She pulled sharply and it broke free of the leather necklace it hung from.
‘Your opinion, daughter, is something I have never valued. Your intellect and thoughts have not ever been worthy of my notice.’ Maeve, still with her hand in my mother’s chest, held the rune up to the sunlight. ‘And now I see – too late – how wrong I have been. You have become a better Fili Queen than I could ever be. Goodbye, my daughter … try to forgive me.’ She placed the rune between her back teeth and then bit down hard. The Shadowrune erupted with amber light that made us all cover our eyes. When we could see again, we saw Maeve and her Fili army fading into their ghost form and then they kept on fading. Before anyone could speak – they were gone.
We all stared at the place where they had been with a ‘What the heck happened here’ expression on our faces – everyone except Cialtie. I could come up with a lot of nasty names for my uncle but ‘slow’ isn’t one of them. He was looking around like a dog deciding whether or not to steal a hot dog from a picnic table. He was reassessing his rapidly changing power base. So I did the same.
OK, we had gotten rid of Maeve and her ghost army – this was a very good thing – but Cialtie still had a kick-ass Banshee army. Just us against them was a battle that could go either way, especially if Cialtie and his gang decided to take us out before we could get back behind castle walls.
‘Maeve,’ I shouted.
Dahy jumped and said, ‘Where?’
Despite the tenseness of the moment, that made me laugh. ‘No, not that Maeve – Connemara Maeve.’
‘Yes, Conor,’ came the waitress’s voice from behind me.
‘I think you should slowly walk the rest of The Grove back to the castle.’
‘OK,’ she said, in a voice I could tell was trying to be braver than she felt.
‘Have your people stay where they are, Oisin,’ Cialtie said, ‘or my archers will fell them where they stand.’
‘We are here under the protection of a parley, brother. Even you would not break that faith.’
‘With all of the things you have accused me of,’ Cialtie said, ‘breaking a parley seems insignificant. Anyway, your parley was with Maeve, not me.’
‘Uh oh,’ I thought, but apparently I said it out loud. I got unanimous dirty looks from everyone on my side and a sickeningly sweet smile from my uncle.
‘I have archers trained on this position,’ Dahy said.
‘Arrows do not worry a Lord of Wind,’ Lugh said and then to demonstrate he flicked his hand and a wind tussled all of our hair.
I stifled a fart joke. This was definitely the wrong time for that.
‘I see we have a new Turlow,’ Dad said, bowing one of those little bows a king gives to another king. ‘Now that you have lost your ghost army and the Brownies, are you sure you want to continue this conflict without allies? I will hold no ill will if you withdraw now.’
You got to hand it to Dad for a gutsy move but the new Turlow didn’t look like he had enough backbone to dump Cialtie with the guy sitting right next to him.
‘We Banshee have nothing to fear from the Faerie.’
‘The day I lose my fear is the day I think I would be most afraid,’ Dad said.
‘Hey, Turlow,’ I said. ‘You know it’s not just Faeries around here. We got Imps and Pooka, and Fili. There’s even a mermaid back in there. And oh, I bet these guys will surprise you.’ I pointed to the treeline and from every visible oak an Elf dropped down on a rope. The Elves, I learned, could climb oaks without the trees making them relive every horrible minute of their lives. I waved and they shot back up like their ropes were some kind of slow acting bungee. ‘Those guys are, like, invisible when they are in the trees. I’d worry about getting out of here through that forest.’
‘You have persuaded the Elves to enter this conflict?’ The Turlow said, amazed.
‘Yup,’ I said, ‘and I definitely would stay out of the Yewlands for a while if I were you. Boy, are those trees mad.’
‘This matters not,’ Cialtie said. ‘We are not leaving. We are taking Castle Duir and you have made it easy for us to do it. My army is on the field, brother, your archers are useless and there are less than three score of you. Lay down your arms and I will be merciful.’
This wasn’t good. As I looked to Cialtie and The Turlow and Lugh and Macha all glaring down on us from horseback like we were ants under a magnifying glass, the elation of Maeve’s heart-ripping ghost army vanishing was starting to wane. We really were in a bad spot here. The Irish Druids weren’t even armed. It was really just, me, Mom, Dad, Dahy, Essa and Araf. Brendan was up on the battlements with archers who were useless because of Lugh. We were so truly stuffed that even I couldn’t come up with a smile, but amazingly and uncharacteristically – Dad did.
A tiny smile that was just noticeable enough to unnerve his opponent and hearten me appeared on the corners of his mouth. ‘Are you sure, brother, you want to start this now?’
Cialtie’s mouth turned at the corners as well. For as opposite as these two men were, the mirrored smile reminded me that they were still siblings. ‘This day, my little brother, is long overdue.’
Dad nodded one of those slow thoughtful nods and took a deep breath. The scene reminded me of a showdown at the end of an old black and white western movie. ‘Then I would like to introduce you to someone.’
Cialtie’s smile vanished as he looked around for some kind of trick.
‘This is Nora Fallon,’ Dad said, pointing to his left.
Cialtie’s smile returned. I half expected him to say, ‘So what?’
Dad then addressed Macha. ‘Mother, this is the grandmother of the little girl you kidnapped. Lugh, you may remember her son Brendan. Before we begin, she has something to say to all of you.’
Dad looked to Nora and nodded. She held her hands out in front of her, took a deep breath and shouted the immortal magic word, ‘YEEEEHAAAA!’
Chapter Thirty-One
Nora
While I was begging the yews for arrows and then flitting to the Real World, Dad, Dahy and the rest of the war council were coming up with a plan – a plan they forgot to tell me about. I thought the idea was fight Maeve and die, but Dad formulated a strategy in case Fand succeeded in convincing her mother to give up
the ghost. I guess that’s why they pay him the big bucks.
Nora never did tell me what gift she received from the yews but she obviously told Dad. When the yews asked me what gift I desired, I didn’t know what to say but Nora knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted the same power as the woman who had stolen her grandchild. She wanted power that could trump Macha’s power. The yews gave Nora power over horses. They gave her power that superseded Macha’s horsemanship. When Nora held out her arms and yeehaa-ed, Cialtie, Lugh, The Turlow and especially Macha were thrown from their rearing horses. All of them as you would imagine were shocked but Macha – the queen of all things equestrian – was absolutely dumbfounded. I’m pretty sure it had been a thousand years since a horse had disobeyed her.
Dahy had always taught us, ‘When you’re in a brawl, punch the biggest guy first.’ Now that Maeve was gone, the new biggest guy was Lugh. With him still on the chessboard we had no archery cover and without arrows, we were sunk.
Lugh went off the back of his horse just like the others but unlike his companions he didn’t hit the ground. As instinctively as you and I would reach out to grab a banister when we stumbled on a flight of stairs, Lugh conjured up a wind that caught him and sat him down on the ground feet first.
Dahy stepped up and threw a dagger directly at his head. The mountain oracle flicked his hand and Dahy’s knife was blown off to the right. But this was a Dahy blade and it swung back on its target. I held my breath as it came at him from behind but just as the blade was about to stab the self-proclaimed god in the back of the neck, Lugh threw up his hand again. It was like he had eyes in the back of his head. The knife, though, wouldn’t give up. Dahy must have incanted some serious knife homing voodoo into the thing ’cause it kept coming back like a stupid growling puppy that didn’t know when to give up. Finally Lugh grew annoyed at swatting away at the knife like it was a persistent mosquito. With an increasingly aggravated look on his face, he finally held his hand in front of the approaching blade. The knife’s homing magic was neutralised by the wind coming from his hand and the blade hovered just before the oracle’s face.
‘I think, Dahy,’ Lugh said, ‘I think I am going to kill you with your own blade.’ Lugh reached through the wind tunnel he had created and grabbed the handle of the hovering knife. That was the last anybody saw of him. Dahy had made the handle of the knife out of Connemara marble. The moment the oracle touched it, he got old real fast and the dust he instantly became blew away in the last breeze he ever made. Then lots of things happened all at once.
The first thing was the arrows. As soon as Brendan saw Lugh dust it, he let the arrows fly. Since I had no idea what the game plan was, I decided to make sure I got the Connemara Druids back to the safety of the castle walls. From above it might have looked like I was running away but the reason these people were here was me. I didn’t want perforated Irishmen and Irishwomen on my conscience.
A huge Banshee battle scream rose from the army. I had to cover my ears but as I looked to the Irish Druids they were all pointing and smiling. I looked back and saw the Banshees in full retreat. Then I heard more screaming – this time less Banshee-like. I looked to the north side of the castle and saw Jesse riding in front of the entire Brownie army as they charged at the now retreating Banshees.
The reason why Banshees are such good warriors is that they have that sixth sense that tells them when they are going to win. Conversely when they are going to lose, they know that too. King Jesse and the Brownies joining the side of the good guys was too much for them – they scampered.
A Banshee scream from Cialtie’s sorceress made me turn. She was throwing sparks and fire from her fingertips but Nieve and Mom were repelling it until it backfired on the sorceress and she was blown off her feet. Dahy walked up to Macha who smiled seductively at him. He unceremoniously clocked her in the head with his banta stick.
Dad drew his sword and came for Cialtie. For a guy who had just lost two armies, a ghost army and a god, he didn’t look as worried as he should have been. As Dad approached he just stood there with his hands at his sides. If it was me I think I would have stabbed him right then and there but Cialtie knew his brother. Dad placed the edge of the blade at Cialtie’s chest. There was still so much noise around I didn’t hear what Cialtie said. I watched his lips move and I saw the shock on my father’s face. Then I saw him mouth ‘Rothlú’, and he was gone.
Essa ran up and hugged me. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes,’ I said incredulously. ‘It looks like we all are. This is the strangest war I have ever been …’ I didn’t get to finish that statement due to the huge wet kiss that she planted on my lips. I guess now that the war between Duir and the Banshees was over, so was the war between Essa and me. In both conflicts – peace felt good.
Jesse galloped up to us and performed an impressive moving dismount from his horse Fluffy. I bowed my lowest bow and he did the same.
‘King Codna,’ I said.
‘Prince Conor,’ he replied and then ran and gave me a very un-royal-like hug.
‘Thanks for coming back, Jesse.’
‘It wasn’t me – it was them,’ Jesse said, pointing to his troops who were still chasing Banshees out of the field. ‘With each step home, the angrier my people became. After a night at camp my commanders came to me and said they wanted Cialtie and his Banshees to pay for deceiving them.’
‘Duir thanks you all,’ I said, bowing again.
‘Aw, any excuse to see my old friend Conor.’
What minutes before had been a battlefield began to resemble a family outdoor barbecue. Brendan came down and was snogging Nieve. I saw Dahy carrying Macha into the castle fireman style. I know it’s not right for a grandson to think like this but after what she did to Ruby, I hoped they put her into that smelly dungeon that I was in the first time I got here.
Mom and Nora were on either side of Fand helping her back to the castle. Fand had been as strong as a steel girder during her spar with her mother but now that it was over she looked frail. Dad stood staring off into the distance. I came around his side and searched his eyes trying to figure out what he was looking at. He wasn’t looking at anything. He was lost in thought.
‘You OK, Dad?’
‘Yes,’ he said long and slow. Then he looked at me and smiled. ‘Yes. Why shouldn’t I be? We won. Or actually we averted a war, which is even better.’
‘You are a victor in peace, Father.’
‘A victor in peace,’ Dad repeated. ‘I like that. If only I could resolve all of my conflicts without bloodshed.’
I stepped over to where Dahy’s blade was still sitting in the ground. The handle was roughly hewn out of marble and the blade was completely covered with gold. I picked it up. ‘Good idea. Whose was it?’
‘Dahy’s,’ Dad said. ‘When it comes to killing bad guys – Dahy knows his business. Be careful with that. Actually, can I leave you with the job of making sure all of the Connemara marble is locked safely away?’
‘Yes, Your Highness,’ I said with a mocking bow.
Dad laughed. ‘I give you one chore and you get stroppy.’ When I straightened up he placed his hands on my shoulders and then brought me in for a hug. ‘I’m so glad you’re safe, son.’
‘Me too … I don’t mean I’m glad I’m safe, I mean I’m glad you’re safe too.’
‘I understood,’ he said loosening his clinch. ‘Oh, and I need the Lawnmower back for a little while.’
‘OK,’ I said, undoing the buckle on the belt that the Sword of Duir hung from. I handed it to Dad. ‘You need it for some official kinging thing?’
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘Something like that.’
The Connemara Druids were all milling around in a bit of a daze. I asked them if they would help me move the marble inside and they all agreed – happy to have a job to do. In no time we had all the pieces of the Real World locked up in one of the dungeon vaults.
Later I had a meeting with Brendan and Nora. They wanted to go back to the
Real World right away but Essa had sorceress stuff to do with Mom and Nieve. There had been protective snap spells placed all over the castle and they needed to be removed before one of us hurt ourselves. So we promised to go to the Real World in the morning to retrieve Ruby.
Araf found me right before sundown and said Graysea wanted to see me. He had a look on his face that made me worried.
‘Is she OK?’
‘She is fine, she … she wants to talk to you.’
‘OK,’ I said as he walked away. For as long as I have known that big guy I still have a hard time reading his thoughts.
I walked to the infirmary a bit slower than I could have. To be honest I was a little bit dreading seeing Graysea. Don’t get me wrong, I still think she is one of the most beautiful and the sweetest women in all of The Land, but I was in love with Essa. From the moment I saw her – ’till the day I die – it’s Essa and it was unfair to Graysea not to tell her that. It was just that it’s never a good time to tell Graysea anything. She did that smothering me with kisses thing when she saw me and she had those lovely puppy dog eyes – it was just … hard to break her heart. And now that she was injured, I felt like I was kicking her when she was down. But I had to tell her.
I found her out of her tank and in a hospital bed. She looked so much better than the last time I had seen her. She had colour in her cheeks and her face lit up with a healthy smile when she saw me. She started to get out of bed but her Imp-healer grumbled, ‘Graysea’, and she meekly obeyed and sank back into her pillows.
‘How is my Mertain wounded warrior?’ I said kissing her on the cheek. She didn’t answer and when I looked at her again her expression was disquieting. ‘Graysea, are you OK?’
‘Oh, yes,’ she said, forcing a smile. I gave her a stern look and she said, ‘No really, I’m fine, Conor. I found out that it takes me a lot longer to heal myself than others. My prison guard,’ she said pointing to the Imp-healer, ‘says I’ll be up and around in a couple of days.’