by Delisa Lynn
“You look awful. Are you okay?”
“Nik, I don’t know when I’ll see him again. He may not be able to leave until November. What am I going to do? I can’t go that long without him. What if something happens to him?”
“Calm down. You're very strong and he'll be fine. If you have to wait until November to see him, then that’ll be one horny and happy man when you do see him. You must really love him; you never act like this. I know you were upset when I moved across the country. Did you cry this much?”
“Shut up, bitch. I love you and you know it.”
“I love you too, but you're a bitch.”
“I’ve missed you. You know you and Addie are my bitches.”
“Always, bestie, always.”
Evan: Hey Lila, are you okay? Are you back yet? I’m worried about you. Please call me.
Lila: Evan I’m fine, I’m almost home. I’m really tired. I’ll call you later.
Evan: Ok, glad you are safe. I’ll bring you breakfast.
“What am I going to do about Evan?” I ask Nikki. “He seems to want more although he says he doesn’t.”
“That man has it bad for you for sure. Brody said he hasn’t seen him this happy in a long time.”
I’m so tired. I decide to text Ads and go to sleep.
Lila: Hey, Ads, really wish I could have seen you when I was home. How are you and that brother of mine doing? Miss you both so much!!
Ads: Hey Stranger! We are doing fantastic, how was the visit with my cousin? You two are so in love. Don’t deny it either, Lila Rae!
Lila: Oh Ads, I love him so fucking much. I never thought I would love someone as much as I do him. I made a scene at the airport when I broke down sobbing, begging him to stay with me. I know he couldn’t. I miss him already. Why didn’t you hook us up sooner? Give my brother a hug for me. When are you coming out here? Nikki and I need our girl time with you. I’m falling asleep. I love you both, doll <3
***
I wake up with four texts from Evan and one from Addie. She and Eric are planning a visit next month. I call Evan and tell him we can go to breakfast. Nikki’s already out with Brody and classes don’t start for a couple days.
I take a shower and cry the entire time. I wonder if Liam has left yet. I try calling him and it goes straight to voicemail.
“You…um…look like shit, Lila,” Evan says. I know I do. I've cried so much my face is swollen, nor have I bothered putting any makeup on.
I laugh and hug him. “Thanks, you're such a good friend!”
“I’m sorry. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, it was just hard to leave Liam. I may not see him till November.”
“Oh, Lila, I’m so sorry. You want to go for a drive after breakfast? Maybe that'll help take your mind off of things.”
“Sure, where are we going? You sure you aren’t ashamed of the way I look?”
“Hell no, you look gorgeous no matter what.”
“Thanks, you really are a great friend. I wasn’t kidding,” I say, blushing.
“I try to be. You're a special lady, Miss Carls.”
We go to The Corner Café; it’s the best café around and my favorite place to go for breakfast. I’m trying to enjoy myself and not think about Liam. I know Evan can tell I’m not my normal self.
“I know you love bacon, and you haven’t eaten any of it.”
“I’m sorry. So where are we driving to?”
“I figured we could just drive and sightsee, if that’s okay?”
“That would be great.” I’m not hungry, but I force myself to eat. I have to get back to my normal self. It’s just months, not a lifetime.
After spending an hour driving around the beautiful parts of New York I haven't seen yet, we decide to take a tour bus because traffic is so crazy.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “I needed this.”
“Anytime!” He holds my hand. Friends can hold hands, right? I wonder if I should move his hand, but I’m comfortable. Plus, I’m tired and the tour was really long.
I fall asleep without realizing it. When I wake up, I notice my head is on Evan’s lap. I jump up and apologize.
“It’s okay, you were tired. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. We're just friends. I love my Liam.”
“I know! You've told me this already. We're friends and I respect you and Liam. I won’t do anything to jeopardize your trust.”
“I’m sorry for acting like that. I know you wouldn’t.”
We go back to the car. I check my phone and see that I have a few missed calls from Nikki. She left a voicemail saying she was staying with Brody. I’m used to her not being around much lately. I still haven’t talked to Liam, but I know he's okay, that he'll write me soon.
“I’m starving. Want to grab some pizza?” I ask.
“Sure, I wasn’t ready to take you back to the dorms yet anyway.”
“Well, you may not want to go home. Nikki is staying with Brody.”
“Oh, great, I may sleep in my car!” He laughs.
“I don’t blame you. You can come hang out with me. I’m awake now,” I say, laughing.
I order pizza and we go back to the dorm. Evan’s phone keeps ringing. I notice he's ignoring it.
“Is everything okay? Do you need to answer that?”
“Yeah, everything is good. It’s just Alyssa.” Oh, skankzilla isn’t giving up. “You can call and see if she wants to come hang out with us.”
Did I just say that? What the hell am I thinking? I don’t want to watch her drool all over him.
He sighs. “I don’t want to talk to her right now.”
“Okay, I understand. Let me see your phone.”
I take his phone, turn it off, and lay it on the counter. We eat and talk for hours.
Evan has a great sense of humor. I laugh so hard at one of his jokes that I actually have to run to the bathroom so I won't pee myself.
“Are you all right in there?”
“Oh, I’m fine; I just laughed way too much. Are you going to ever play your guitar for me?”
“Well, maybe if you're nice.” He chuckles.
“It’s late. Why don’t you just stay here? You can have my room or the couch,” I say.
“Okay, that would be great. I’m really tired.”
I fix my bed for him even though he says he’s fine with the couch. I know the couch is hard and he’s bigger and taller than me.
“Do you want to move this?” he asks, holding up my bra. It must have fallen out of my arms when I was clearing off my bed.
“Oh my, give me that!” I’m so embarrassed. He laughs at me.
As I lie on the couch, tossing and turning, I wonder how Liam is doing. Then my thoughts abruptly shift to Evan and his past. I can't imagine going through something like that at that age. I lie there for what seems like hours. Finally, I get up and go to the bedroom. I know I’ll regret my decision, but I need to be close to him.
“Are you awake?”
“I am now. Everything okay?”
“Yeah I…I can’t sleep and I needed to check on you. I actually wanted to sleep on the other side of the bed. Are you okay with that?”
“Of course, it’s your bed.”
I lie down next to Evan. We talk for what seems like hours. He stays on his side and me on mine. When I feel his hand intertwine with mine, I don’t move it. I wrap my fingers around his.
I’m not sure what time I fell asleep, but I awake with the sun shining through the window and Evan’s arms around my waist.
I hear Nikki calling my name, and then the door flings open.
“Li—Evan? I uh…oops, never mind!”
“Nikki wait, it isn’t what you think.” I walk out of the bedroom. Brody is standing there, smiling.
“What are you smiling for Brody? Remember, I've seen your naked ass.” I laugh. He keeps smiling.
“Where's Evan?” he says, like he doesn’t know he’s in there.<
br />
“Brody, he's in my room, but nothing happened between us!”
“Good morning, everyone! How about breakfast at The Corner Café, my treat?” Evan said.
“Sure, I’m starving, man.”
“Brody, you’re always starved!” Nikki says.
We get ready and head to the café. I enjoy hanging out with the three of them. When the waitress comes to take our order, she knows what Evan and I both want. We eat, then go for a walk in the park.
“Lila, would you cook us all dinner? I can go grocery shopping for everything,” Evan says.
“That's a great idea,” Brody says.
“Okay guys. What will it be? Bacon? Eggs?” I laugh. That's my favorite, not theirs.
“I was thinking some cornbread and chili,” Evan says.
“I don’t know how to make cornbread!”
They all stare at me. Nikki says, “They have a box mix you can use.”
“Well, let’s go grocery shopping. That means all of us.”
I'm happy that the four of us are shopping together. When we walk in the store, Evan volunteers to push the trolley.
“Trolley?” I ask.
“Oh hell, I forgot y’all are Cali women.”
“Evan, I lived in Ohio. I know what a trolley is. Lila, it’s a damn grocery cart,” Nikki says.
They all laugh at me. After we're done shopping, we go back to Evan and Brody’s. I cook chili and boxed corn muffins. I don’t tell them, but I have no clue how to make the damn chili. It turns out tasty, though.
“How about some poker?” Brody asks.
“I’m not playing strip poker with you fuckers,” I say as they all laugh.
“Come on, live a little,” Brody says.
“I will if you will, Lila,” Nikki says. Fuck, what have I gotten myself into?
“Fine, I’m not taking all my clothes off, though.”
I’m glad I’m good at poker. Poor Brody sucks, unless he's sucking on purpose because he wants us to see him in his hat and boxers. I can’t stop laughing. I still have almost all my clothes on; so does Nikki.
“Evan, your turn. Now take that shit off.” I laugh.
He’s now down to his boxers. I watch him slide his jeans off. Good God, his package looks even bigger in those boxers. Don’t look Lila, don’t look. Nikki busts out laughing.
“Okay, guys, I got to get going,” I say.
Whew, that was close. I would’ve had to take my shirt off had I not ended the game. I can’t get Evan’s package out of my mind.
Chapter Fourteen
I attend class every day and ask to do extra credit projects. I try to keep myself busy. Eric and Addison weren’t able to visit due to their schedules. I was upset, but I understood.
Nikki and Brody are still seeing each other and I still hang out with Evan. It’s been four months since I’ve seen and talked to Liam. I received three letters, but he couldn’t tell me where he was. He says he has a surprise for me that he'll show me when he comes home.
I wonder what it could be. It’s almost summer and everyone is making plans. I just want to continue classes so November can get here.
“Lila, I’m sorry to do this, but I’m going back home. I decided I would finish school there even though I love being here with you. I miss my family and my mom could really use my help with my little sisters.”
“Oh, Nikki, what am I going to do? What about Brody?”
“I haven’t told him yet!”
“So, he has no idea you're leaving? When are you leaving?”
“In a few weeks.”
I know Brody is going to be heartbroken. He loves her; I can tell. She says she loves him, too. I’m going to be so lost. Nik will be in Ohio, Addie in Boston, and Liam…? God only knows where.
“I’m going to miss you! You’re such a bitch. How are you just going to leave me out here all alone?”
“Oh, you’ll be fine! You have Evan and Brody, Heather and Margie. Oh, and don’t forget skankzilla Alyssa. If you need me, call and I’ll be on the first flight back to you.”
“Is that a promise, Nik?”
“You know it!”
***
The day after Nikki leaves, I decide to visit Addie and Eric. I’ve never been to Boston. Evan’s going to Utah and needs to be Brody’s shoulder to cry on since Nikki ended up breaking up with him. I feel so bad for him.
Chapter Fifteen
My plane lands in Boston. I’m so excited to see my brother and my best friend.
“Lila, we’re over here to your left.”
“Ads!” I yell.
“I’ve missed you so much. I’ve missed you too, Eric.”
I hug them both, then we head to their place. They have a beautiful loft. They're studying medicine and didn’t want to live on campus. Of course, when Eric got the place, I’m sure my parents didn’t know Addison would be living there too.
We go to dinner that night, but I don't mention Liam. I’m waiting for one of them to ask me if I've heard from him, which I haven’t. Our one-year anniversary is this week. I wish we were all back in California and still in high school. Everything has changed so much.
“How is New York? Are you still hanging out with Evan?”
“Everything is good. Yes, Evan is a great friend. Now that Nikki is back in Ohio, he and Brody are my only friends there.”
Addison and I go shopping, our favorite pastime.
“How are you handling not being able to speak to Liam?” Addison asks.
“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. I think about him constantly. I go to my classes and my grades are good, but I don’t see how because all I think about is Liam. I really wish he hadn’t went. I knew I was going to fall in love with him, Ads. Who wouldn’t love him; he's perfect!” I say, tears running down my cheeks.
“I'm so sorry. I know he loves you more than anything. After losing his parents, he went through a rough time. I’m not sure if he told you, but he almost dropped out of school. He wouldn’t open up to anyone, and then he met you. Although you were with Ashton, he knew someday he would have you.”
“What? He told you that?”
“Yes. He’s loved you since he met you.”
“Thanks, now I miss him even more.”
I stay with my brother and my best friend for a week. I love spending time with them. They are such a happy couple. I can see wedding bells in their future.
Evan texts me almost daily. He ran into some old friends while at home and they told him that Brynlea had been looking for him. I hope they find each other. I know how much she means to him.
***
When I get back to my dorm, I check the mail and find just what I was hoping to find—a letter from Liam.
Hey Beautiful,
I miss your face so fucking much, Lila. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and to kiss all of that sexy body of yours. I've made a really good friend here. He has a fiancée and I think he loves her as much as I love you. He’s a good guy. Hopefully, you’ll be able to meet him; he’s from New York. How is school? Have you found anything out about my mother yet? You can write me back at the address on the envelope. I can get mail now. You can also send me some updated pictures. I would love to have some that shows that beautiful body you have.
I love you, L.
Always,
Liam
I’m so happy to see that Liam is okay. I call Addison as soon as I finish reading the letter. She calls her mom on three way.
“Lila, you take care of that nephew of mine. He’s one special man.”
“I know Mrs. Ellis, and I’ll take good care of him.”
Evan calls and wants to go to lunch. I’m starving, so I go.
“Were you able to get in touch with Brynlea? Did they give you a number or address?”
“No, they didn’t give me any info. I honestly don’t think I want to see her. She left me and never called or emailed. It's like she forgot I exist.”
“Evan, it was her pare
nts, not her. Maybe she had no way of communicating. All I’m saying is, maybe you should hear her side of the story.”
“Thanks, you do have a good point. I'm still not sure I want to look at her after what happened, though.”
***
I need to focus on locating Liam’s birth mother. I haven’t told anyone about her. I really wish I could talk to Addison about it, but it’s not my place to tell anyone.
I call the adoption agency again, hoping to speak with someone different. I explain who Liam and I are looking for to the gentleman.
“Ma’am, would she be in her late thirties to early forties now?”
“Yes, she would, sir.”
I give him my number to call me back once he does more research. I know it will be at least a few days.
I want some alone time, so I rent my favorite movie, The Notebook, and order Chinese food. I curl up on the couch and eat. Throughout the movie, I laugh and cry. The Notebook always does that to me.
After taking a nap, I wake up and realize I haven’t turned my phone back on. I have four voicemails and ten texts from Evan. Before I get a chance to call him back, he’s at the door.
“Lila! Lila! Are you in there?”
I open the door, not realizing all I'm wearing is a lace thong and one of Liam’s T-shirts.
“Evan, what the hell is wrong? Can’t I have some alone time?” He pulls me into a tight hug. I notice he's crying. “What’s wrong?”
“My mom died.” He lets out another sob.
“Oh Evan, I’m so sorry, sweetie. Come in, sit down.”
“What am I going to do? She was in a car accident. My father said she was fine after the accident, and then several hours later, she died.”
I take in a deep breath. As shocked as I am by the news, I know that if we both panic, it'll only make the situation worse. The best thing I can do right now is try to get him through this.
“Breathe, Evan. I know how upset you must be, but you need to calm down and you need to go home,” I say as gently as I can.