by Delisa Lynn
New York in the winter is a lot different than back home. I’ve never lived outside of Birmingham, so this is definitely going to be an experience. I attended Alabama State the last year, but I wasn’t happy there. So much has been happening since the Ian situation. I just needed to get away.
Ian and I dated on and off the last several years, but I knew I could never love him. He always wanted much more than what I was offering. Then his wants turned into needs and his needs became obsessive. After I broke things off with him, he started stalking me. I had to get a restraining order, and I’m sure that was very embarrassing considering his father is the county sheriff, who, of course, didn’t believe that his son was doing the things I’d accused him of. Why the hell would I lie about a fucking stalker?
I decided that moving here would be the best thing for me. I may go back home after college depending on how much I like it here. I’ll miss my family and friends, but a fresh start will be worth it. I heard if you want to start over, New York City is a good place to do so. The only thing is, I didn’t realize how scary it would be. Not that the city is scary; it’s beautiful. But I am here all alone.
My loft is huge. There are two bedrooms, both with en suite bathrooms. The kitchen, which is stocked with stainless steel appliances, opens up into the living room. Daddy had the furniture delivered. The sectional is a plum color, with white throw pillows. There is also a large flat-screen TV.
As I walk into my bedroom, I realize how big my bed is. It has to be at least a king size. My mom must have picked it out. All the bedding is purple and gray. I start putting my clothes away and decide to call Tatum.
“Hey, baby cakes, how the hell are you? I’m in this big ol’ city. I need to go find that sexy ass brother of yours.”
“I’m so glad you made it there! I miss you already. I’m going out with Thayer tonight, so I better go, but tell my brother and the other guy’s hello for me. Please look after Evan,” she whispers.
“Okay, will do. Be safe. I love you.”
“Love you too, Audrey.”
I look around my room and decide to set some pictures out. I have several of Ta and me when we were younger. I notice one of Zander and me. His eyes are so goddamn sexy. They are a deep mocha brown. I sit that picture on my night stand.
I set out more pics of my family in the living room. Afterward, I take a shower. I feel kind of icky from the trip. I start the shower and just as I start to undress, my phone beeps. It’s a text from a private number.
Private Number: You can run, but not far enough.
Motherfucker! Looks like that creepy ass got my number somehow. I’ll have to get it changed again. As I get in the shower, thoughts of the night that made me break all ties with Ian play in my mind. I cringe. Everything he put me through was bullshit.
“Ian, please just leave me alone. I will never love you. Why can’t you understand that? Please go on with your life. Leave me alone. What we had is over, so just stay away.” I tried walking away from him, but he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.
“You are mine, Audrey Renee, you hear me? There is no way in hell that you will be with anyone else. All this is mine and has been since we were in middle school. Let’s get something clear. If I see you with anyone, or hear of you being with anyone, you will regret it. Are we clear, baby?” I could smell the Patrón on his breath.
“If you do not stay the fuck away from me, you will regret it. I promise you that, you dirty motherfucker.” I kneed his balls as hard as I could. “You are the one that was leading a double life, so be glad I didn’t call your whore.”
He keeled over in pain. “Baby, I love you. I will make you happy, I promise.”
“Ian, stay away from me. I won’t tell you again.” I ran to my car and drove as fast as I could.
***
Audrey
I’ve been living in this loft for a week and it’s getting lonely. I think I may look for a roommate. This place is kind of big just for me. My classes don’t start for another week, and I’ve been looking for a job so I can stay busy. I ran into Evan a few times but haven’t seen Zander yet. I figured he would tell Z that I was here. I know at least Ta has to have mentioned it. Him not coming to look for me just goes to show…he doesn’t want me.
There’s a small café around the corner. It’s called The Corner Cafe and I’m addicted to the coffee already. Although I love my Keurig, there is just something about theirs that is addictive.
Today, when I walk in, I see a tall figure standing at the counter in front of me. I knew it was him right away. There’s no one else that could have an ass that looks as good as his.
“Zander?” I say as I walk a little closer. He turns around and the smile that spreads across his face instantly makes me wet.
“Well, if it isn’t Audrey Renee Ridge. Tatum said you were here. I’ve been meaning to come find you. How are you, sweetheart?” He pulls me in for a hug. His scent is breathtaking. It’s a mix of something manly and fruity. I can inhale him all damn day.
“I’m good. I saw Evan a few days ago, but hadn’t seen you yet. I actually live down the hall from y’all, so you are welcome to come over anytime. My classes start next week, so I’ve been a little bored. I’m actually looking for a roommate. If you know anyone that is interested…” I say, hoping maybe he needs a place and will move in himself. Hell yeah, that would be fucking awesome.
“Great. Actually, I’ve been looking for a place. I’ve been sleeping on Evan’s couch. It’s a pain in the ass for sure. Maybe I could room with you? The plus side is you would have a man around all the time.” He laughs.
“Okay, as long as you can keep your hands to yourself.” I giggle. “I’m sure my unit is pretty much set up like theirs, but if you want, you can come by and look at it to make sure you want the room first. Of course you can look at the rest of the place too. My dad furnished everything, and there is a new bed in the room you will be staying in.”
“Ahh, so we’re still playing that game where you pretend you don’t want me? What are you doing now? Well, other than getting coffee?”
“Yup, nothing.” My cheeks turn a bright red. “I’m free if you would like to hang out. I can show you my loft.”
“Sure thing, sweetheart. Let’s go.” He reaches his hand out for mine. I didn’t want to hold his hand, but stupid me lets him grab mine and we walk hand in hand back to the loft.
“Do you like it here?” I ask him. “I know it’s a lot different than back home. My dad was very nervous about me coming all the way out here alone.”
“It’s good, I like it here. My classes are going good. The food is great and so far all the people are cool,” he says with a smile.
“That’s good. I figured you would like it here.”
“Were you able to transfer your credits? Your dad should be a little worried. I didn’t know you were living alone. Couldn’t talk Ta into transferring, huh? I’ll make sure you are taken care of, though.”
The thought of him taking care of me makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over, but I’ve had this ‘I hate Zander wall’ up for so long, I have to continue with it. He’s such a player. He thinks he should get exactly what he wants.
“Thanks, Zander, I appreciate that. Yes, everything transferred fine. You know your sister isn’t going to leave Thayer. I still don’t see what she sees in him. Do you want me to help you move your stuff from Evan’s?”
“Yes, if you don’t mind. It’s not much, but I can use the help.”
“Okay, cool. I’ll show you around first,” I say as I unlock the door.
God, I want to grab him and lick him from head to toe. His body is so fucking hot. The polo he’s wearing shows off every muscle he has. He has those come-fuck-me eyes. When I look into them, I instantly want to rip off my clothes and let him have his way with me. I would let him fuck me any and everywhere.
Chapter Four
Zander
Walking into the loft with Audrey felt so good. I missed seeing her,
talking to her, and laughing with her. I want to rip her clothes off and fuck her so damn bad. I’ve wanted her for too goddamn long. There is no way in hell I was going to recommend a stranger to live with her. I’m finally going to make her mine. She’s been playing this ‘I can’t stand Zander’ game for too long. It’s time we put an end to that.
Her place looks nice. I think I’ll be just fine here. The plus side is, I get to look at her fine ass every day. Oh man, that’ll make my mind run in circles. I know it’s going to kill me if she doesn’t let me in. I have never loved anyone as much as I do her. The closer I get, the more she pushes me away.
I’m so happy that I’ll finally be able to get off of Evan and Brody’s couch. I’m going to feel odd bringing girls around Audrey, though, but I don’t like the idea of her living alone. I’m not the relationship type, but I would be with her if she would give me the chance.
“I really like it here. I think we will make great roommates.” I smirk.
“I think so too. Glad I don’t have to live alone anymore. I guess I should tell you…Ian has been stalking me, and I think he has my new number as well, but I don’t think he would ever come here.”
I feel my heart drop and my anger surfaces. Just the thought of that bastard being around her makes me want to break his fucking neck. “I will kill that motherfucker with my bare hands if he touches you. Has he hurt you in the past?”
She shakes her head and says, “Hell, I would kill him myself. I hate that piece of shit. He’s just being psycho and shit, but it’s taken care of, though. He’s harmless.”
“How about I make us dinner tonight, roomie?” I grin.
“You had me at make.” She giggles. “How is baseball going?”
“The team I’m on is great. There have been rumors that one of the New York Mets scouts has been watching me. I don’t want to go pro, though. I’m here to get my law degree. Then I’m going back home.”
“You’re a fantastic pitcher, Zander. I’m sure anyone would want you on their team, including the Reds.” She smirks. She knows that I’ve always loved the Cincinnati Reds. I used to watch the games with my Gramps when I was younger. He would take Tatum and me to any games that he could.
“Hmm, I won’t brag, but I’m sure they would. Audrey, are you seeing anyone now?” I ask, just to get it out of the way. I would hate to walk in and see some dick with his hands on her.
“No, but I’m not interested in a relationship right now, Zander. I have so much going on. I just want to focus on school.”
“I understand. So you really are still playing that ‘I don’t want Zander’ game?” I lean in and blow in her ear. I can see the goose bumps appear as soon as I lean in.
“Something like that. I love you. You know I do, but we just aren’t for each other. Plus, you hate my potty mouth.”
“Oh, I love everything about your mouth. I don’t like when you say fuck more than I do, though. That’s the only thing I don’t like, but this mouth,” I run my thumb across her lips, “can do whatever it wants to me.”
She’s like putty in my hands. I know I may be overstepping my boundaries, but I place my lips gently to hers. She moans as I place my hand in the small of her back and pull her into me. She kisses me hard and passionately and pulls away.
“We can’t.” She sighs. “Let’s make dinner.”
I turn to walk into the other room, so frustrated I don’t even respond. I’ll keep on trying, but how the hell am I supposed to make her mine when she keeps pushing me away?
***
Zander
I’ve been staying with Audrey for a week now. Her classes have started and she is trying to get a job at Harrington and Bissell, the firm Evan works at. I’m working for another firm. Honestly, it isn’t as great as the one Evan works at, but they called me first. I never thought I would be any one’s assistant. Pushing papers is different than pushing cow shit, that’s for damn sure.
I wasn’t always interested in law. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a sports agent. I love baseball and football, but law is something that I feel will work for me in the long run, when I do decide I want to settle down and start a family.
The winters here are a lot worse than the ones back home. It makes me so damn tired. I want to hibernate like a damn grizzly bear. I woke up late today and noticed Audrey was already gone, but she left me a note on the kitchen counter. She always leaves little Post-it Notes. I thought things would be odd between us after that kiss but we’ve been fine. I would love for her to be in my bed every night, though.
Z,
I made you a bagel and a cup of coffee. Have a great day.
-Audrey
She is too damn sweet. She’s always making me food and coffee. I grab the bagel, coffee, and my bag and head out the door. As I approach campus, I run into Heather. She and I dated for a month or so. We’re just good friends who used to sleep together. Nothing big, but she wants to introduce me to a classmate.
“Zander, looks like someone is running late.”
“Yeah, I am. Can I catch up with you later, babe,” I say as I try to walk past her.
“Yes. Here, just call her.” She shoves a piece of piece of paper in my back pocket. “That’s Hillary’s number.”
“Awesome, thanks.”
I make my way down the hall. I know my professor will be livid if I’m more than a half hour late. I make my way through the door and find a seat. Sure enough, Professor Hendricks spots me. “Fuck,” I say to myself. He looks in my direction, but doesn’t call me out for being late.
My thoughts drift to Audrey. I think of her more and more every day. I went the whole damn year trying to push her out of my mind. Not only is she attractive, but she’s smart and funny. Her potty mouth is bad, though, real bad.
I look at my phone and see that I have a text. It’s from a number I don’t recognize.
Number: Dinner and Drinks?
Me: Depends…Who are you?
Number: I’m all yours for the night.
Me: Hillary?
Number: Bingo…That gives you extra points. See you tonight ;)
Heather must have given her my number already. I don’t really want to take girls back to the loft since Audrey will be in the next room, so I’ll try to avoid it. Maybe we can go to her place. Hell, I don’t even know if I will like this girl. Heather is always trying to hook me up with someone. She knows how much I want Audrey, though, and knows exactly where my heart is. That’s one of the reasons why she and I never went any further with the feelings she was developing.
Chapter Five
Audrey
It’s been a little over a month since my roommate has moved in. No one knows this, but Zander is the only reason I even applied here. I wanted to be closer to him and I needed to get away from Ian. I moved into the same building as he and his friends hoping that I would run into him. That kiss we shared made me want him even more. Still, I can’t let him in. I just can’t.
We are strictly friends. I love to act like I hate him. If we weren’t cussing each other out, then people would think we had serious issues. It’s just how we are. He loves it just as much as I do. He says I cuss too damn much, as if it’s any of his fucking business. I know I can be too vulgar sometimes, but hey, that’s me. Love me or hate me.
The only thing that bothers me is the sluts he brings home. Although he said he wouldn’t, there has been a few times I have seen girls leaving his room. I hate that fucking part of him living here. I swear I have to Lysol the entire loft after they leave. It’s never the same one twice. They’re all different. I would love to just throat punch all of them, but then again, who am I? I’ve been crushing on him since I was ten, but I make like I fucking hate him. I can’t let him hurt me, and I know he will.
I love having him here, though. He offers to help with the laundry and cleaning, but my dad hired a cleaning lady to come in and do all that. I don’t mind cleaning, but it’s great that she does everything. Last week she found some skank’s undies
in Zander’s room and put them in with my clothes, which really pissed me off. I wish I could tell him how I feel, but we can never be together, ever…
He rescued me from a party last week. Some twat face tried to have his way with me. Normally, I can handle my own. I learned at a young age to defend myself, but this motherfucker was a beast, and he was drunk and probably stoned. He cornered me. I can still smell his breath on me. It makes me so fucking sick that I let someone like him get that close to me.
Thank God Zander was there and saw I needed help. He beat the crap out of that dude. I thought he was going to kill him. I was so thankful and happy that he would do that for me. He almost killed the motherfucker, though.
Zander refused to stay in his room. He stayed with me in my bed and held me all night. He didn’t try anything with me. He just snuggled up to me and kissed the back of my head. As I lay there with him, there was so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted to bare my feelings, but I couldn’t. See, the man I love and have been in love with since I was ten is a player. Always has been. Even now, he is still with random slut bags and I can’t be one of them.
My feelings for this man run too damn deep, and I know he would break my heart completely and I honestly don’t think I would be able to heal. Once I let him in, I want it to be for good.
Tonight, I’m going to watch one of his baseball games. I love watching him play. Seeing him in that uniform is one of the greatest sights to see. I have no clue what I am wearing tonight. Ever since he moved in, I make sure I look good all the time.
I decided to wear a pair of jeans and a NYU T-shirt. I grab a baseball hat out of the bag of things I bought last night. I pull it on and let my ponytail hang through the back. I put on my strawberry lip balm, head into the kitchen, and see Zander standing in front of the refrigerator in nothing but a towel.