by Delisa Lynn
“Pardon?” he asks, his eyes boring into mine.
I clear my throat and look away. “I’m breaking up with you, Thayer. I should go. I’ll see you around.”
I try to leave, but he slams the door shut.
“The fuck you just say to me?” he yells, grabbing me by the back of my hair. I tumble backward.
“Shit, that hurts. Let me go!” I scream. He slings me into the wall.
“You’re not going anywhere, and baby,” he rubs his hand along my jawline, “you’re damn sure not breaking up with me.”
“Please, let me go. I need to get home,” I beg.
“You know, you should’ve really thought about this before you came at me with it. You’re mine, baby. Mine!”
Swallowing the lump that’s in my throat, I push my tears back. I need to stand my ground. I need to let him know that I am not afraid of him. I push his hand away from my face and point my finger into his chest. “I am not yours, and I am breaking up with you.”
Thank God his roommate Clint comes strolling in the same time I start to leave again. I manage to get out the door, and Thayer stays on the porch, his arms crossed over his puffed out chest. I slide into my car. My hands shaking, I manage to get the keys in the ignition. I start the car and throw it in reverse, then forward, trying to get out from the two cars I’m wedged between. My eyes dart back to the porch and I see that a pissed off Thayer is still there.
People honk as I speed through the intersection. I look through my rearview mirror and see that no one is following me. My hands are trembling. I need to stop.
I pull into the parking lot of McDonald’s and look around before getting out of the car. I straighten my clothes, mainly to make sure I haven’t pissed myself, and walk in, heading straight for the bathroom. This is the first time Thayer has ever gone this far. He’s yelled a few times and been controlling, but he’s never laid his hands on me the way he just did.
I calm myself and order a large sweet tea before heading home. I need to figure out what to do. I know that my brother would kill Thayer if he knew what just happened. The way I’m feeling right now, I might not mind.
***
Evan
My parents and I are here in Birmingham to spend Christmas with my grandparents. I love it when everyone is under one roof. Zander rented a car at the airport. He dropped me off at the farm on his way home. His parents live about five miles away. His sister, Tatum, came home as well. She attends a university a few hours away and lives on campus.
“Is that Gran’s homemade apple pie I smell?” I say as I enter the kitchen. My gran makes the best damn apple pie. They even sell it at the local grocery store. I can eat an entire pie of hers by myself.
“Evan, baby, is that you?” Gran says.
“Yes, ma’am, it’s me.”
I pull her into a big bear hug. She’s a beautiful woman. Her once auburn hair is now silver and she’s a lot thinner since the last time I saw her.
I kiss her on her cheek. She swats my behind and says, “Boy, you can’t just sneak in on an old lady unannounced. Your pap is out in the barn. He and Mr. Kelley are getting the cattle together. Speaking of The Kelley’s, where’s that handsome friend of yours?”
I laugh. She’s always saying that Zander will make some lucky woman a happy wife someday.
“He went home. Tatum just made it home too,” I reply. My grandmother’s smile gets even bigger.
“Oh, so Tatum will be joining us all for dinner?”
Okay, what is she up to? “I’m not sure. He hasn’t said anything about it. Are they all joining us for dinner tomorrow?”
“Of course they are, Evan. They always spend the holidays with us. Now, go get unpacked and help your pap.”
“Yes, Gran, I’ll head out there now.”
After unpacking, I see Zander pull up in his truck. There’s a woman with him. Oh man, that can’t be little Tatum. If so, she’s changed so much in the last couple years. I rush down the stairs and to the driveway.
“Hey, Zan. Tatum, is that you?” I ask as I approach them. She has beautiful blonde hair and brown eyes. She looks older than eighteen. I lean in to hug her. The feel of her skin against mine gives me cold chills.
“Eyes off my sister, punk.” Zander laughs and punches my shoulder.
“Hey, Evan. It’s been a long time. I’m glad you came to visit,” Tatum says. She stands on the tips of her toes and kisses my cheek. The twinkle in her eye makes me smile.
“I’m glad I came too. So, how is school going?” I ask.
I take her hand and walk with her to the porch. Zander follows behind us, texting someone. Audrey, no doubt. When we reach the front steps, my gran swings the screen door open. The smile on her face explains everything. She wants me to be with Tatum. Hell, who wouldn’t want to be with her? She’s grown into a beautiful woman.
“Tatum, dear, is that you? You are even prettier than the last time you were here,” Gran says as she pulls Tatum in for a hug. I can see the love in my gran’s eyes for Tatum. I knew that old lady was up to something. She’s so sneaky.
“I will leave you kids alone to chat.” She winks at me and turns to Zander. “Zander, I need your help in the kitchen.”
“Yes, ma’am. As long as I can have some apple butter.” He laughs, but I know he’s dead serious. Her apple butter is like heaven in a jar.
I sit on the porch swing and Tatum sits next to me. She smells so good, I could get lost in her scent. I want to ask her so many questions about her life. I’m curious about what she’s been up to. I’ve never thought of her as more than a friend. Hell, we grew up together. She used to be a tomboy and often ran around with Zander and me on the farm. When we were kids, she was always saying that she wanted to be a cow doctor.
“Tatum, how is everything? Are you going to school to be a cow doctor?” I laugh as soon as the words leave my mouth. First, she looks at me with a serious face. Then she bursts into laughter as well. What the hell? She’s the one that called it that.
“Oh my gosh, Evan, I can’t believe you remember that. I feel so silly. Yes, I still want to be a cow doctor, better known as a veterinarian. Now I’m just taking all my general classes. I think I may transfer to an out-of-state university.”
“What state will you be moving to? You can always attend NYU with Zander and me.”
I hope she’ll say New York, but she crushes me when she says she’s thinking about attending the University of Michigan. Why the hell would she go there? If she wants to go to that part of the map, Ohio would be a better choice. They have the best veterinarian college, their football team is the best in the country, and, of course, they have the best damn marching band in the land.
Just as I start to ask if she’s seeing anyone, her phone rings. “Oh, Evan, please excuse me. I have to answer this.”
She steps off the porch. I can hear a little of what she’s saying. She’s telling him that she isn’t with another man, and that she’s with family. I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but she’s basically still standing next to me. She’s trying to whisper, but I can hear his voice through the phone. The way she’s cringing implies he’s threatening her.
When she hangs up, I can tell she’s upset. “Is everything okay, sweetheart?”
She sits down on the porch, tears welling up in her eyes. I sit down next to her and put my arm around her.
She looks at me with tears rolling down her cheeks and says, “Will you go for a walk with me, Evan?”
I grab her hand and we walk down the driveway, hand in hand.
“Evan, my boyfriend is very controlling. He got pissed off because I came home for the holiday. Please don’t tell Zander. He’ll beat the shit out of him.”
My other hand, the hand that’s not holding hers, tenses at the thought of someone hurting her. My stomach gets weak. “Tatum, does he hurt you, baby?”
I’m praying to God that she’ll say no, but the look on her innocent face answers for her. She just shakes her head.
&n
bsp; “Look, sweetie, why don’t we go grab dinner? I haven’t been to Mable’s Diner in years.”
She squeezes my hand. “Okay, that sounds great. Should we tell Zan?”
I call Zan and tell him Tatum and I will be back in a little while. He doesn’t ask any questions.
We walk to the diner and sit in a small booth in the corner. Just being here, in this diner, is bringing back so many memories of my childhood and the time I spent with Zander and Tatum.
“So, Ta, how long have you been seeing…uh…this ass?”
She laughs. Her laugh is perfect. The waitress comes and takes our order. Tatum orders a grilled chicken and pecan salad with an iced tea with lemon. I order the double cheeseburger and fries platter with a sweet tea.
Then Tatum looks at me and says, “It’s Thayer, and we’ve been together, on and off, for a couple years. He hasn’t always been controlling, but he knew you would be here and doesn’t want me around my brother’s friends. He knows that you and I were close growing up. He also knows you were my first kiss, and that, well, um, I really liked you.”
“Well, I won’t say anything to anyone this time, but you have to promise me that you won’t let him hurt you. You’re too good for that shit! Ahh…you remember that kiss? I was so nervous that day. I’d wanted to kiss you for weeks. I could never get the nerve to do it.”
Then it hits me that I was an ass. I was supposed to write her and come back to her, but then I started seeing Bryn. Fuck. I hurt her and didn’t even notice.
“Tatum, I’m sorry I never wrote. When I went back, I thought about you, the kisses we shared, and that hell of a summer we spent together. I will never forget the first time we kissed. You looked so damn pretty in those white shorts and purple boots. I started seeing Bryn when I went back home. And when I came back the following summers, I never saw you. Zan told me you were busy with friends.”
She looks at me with a sad smile and thanks me. Hell, I would love to kiss her right now. She keeps chewing on her bottom lip, and every time she does, I lick my lips. She has no idea how bad I want to jump over the damn table, take her in my arms, and bite that lip myself.
I can’t believe she would let some motherfucker treat her that way. She was always so strong and brave when we were younger. Hell, she had to be to hang out on the farm with her brother and me. We were always getting hurt, mostly due to climbing fences and falling out of trees.
We finish our meal and walk back to the farm. Zander was waiting for us when we returned. I think he knows something is wrong with Tatum.
“Evan, can I talk to you for a second, man?” Zan says. I nod my head. I’m really not comfortable lying to him, but I promised Tatum I wouldn’t say anything.
“So, what’s going on with my sister?”
Damn, I can do this.
“Nothing. I was hungry and wanted to catch up with her,” I say as I look away.
Thank God he accepts that answer. We head out to the barn, where the other guys are. My parents arrived when Tatum and I were eating. All the girls are in the house, cooking.
After everyone finishes eating, we all decorate the tree together. My grandparents never decorate until the week of Christmas.
Tatum helps me hang the star on the top. Well, she takes it and insists she put it on the tree. I grab her by her waist and lift her up so she can reach the top. I can see the twinkle in her eyes.
After everyone settles in, Tatum and I make some hot chocolate. I start a fire in the family room, and we sit by the tree, talking. Talking to her feels good. She’s intelligent and funny.
“Evan, I guess I better get going. It’s late and we’re going shopping tomorrow. No backing out!” she says, laughing.
“I don’t want you to go. Stay. We can just sit here all night. If you get tired, you can take the couch and I’ll take the floor.”
“Ugh, okay…fine, but you can’t fall asleep before me. I need to call and tell my parents.”
After I get some blankets out of the closet, she pulls her phone out of her purse. She has an odd look on her face.
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” I ask as I step closer to her. She looks like she just saw a ghost. She’s scrolling through her phone. It must be the jerk.
“Oh yeah, everything’s fine. It’s just Thayer wanting to know how I’m doing.” She tries to smile, but I know the smile is a lie, that everything isn’t fine.
“Okay, so are we having this slumber party? Hot chocolate, dominos, childhood memories?” I ask, praying she’ll say yes.
“Yes, I’ll stay. But do not go to sleep while I’m still awake. I’ll get bored. Can I borrow some of your clothes? I don’t want to sleep in this,” she says as she points to her jeans.
“Let me grab us both something more comfortable.” I go into the room I’m staying in upstairs and grab us both a pair of sweats and some NYU tees. Seeing her tiny body in my clothes is gonna be a pretty sight.
“Here ya go.” I toss her the clothes. “It’s nothing fancy, but it’s comfortable.”
“Thanks, and, um…no peeking while I change!” She turns her back and laughs.
“Ha. You’re safe with me. I’ll close my eyes.”
I sit on the floor. Hell yeah I want to peek, but I don’t.
“Okay. Now, let’s get this party started. Who is the lucky lady you’re seeing now?” she asks as she sits next to me and covers our legs with a blanket. Why would she ask that? I haven’t said anything that would make her believe I’m dating.
“There isn’t one. I’ve been single for a while now,” I reply, praying she won’t ask about Bryn. She scoots closer to me and yawns.
“Oh, well, I just figured there would be. I’ve been with Thayer,” yawn, “for a few years. Before him, I really hadn’t had,” yawn, “a boyfriend. Well, other than you.” She pokes me in the arm.
“Ta, if you’re tired, we can go to sleep. I’ll sit here ‘til you fall asleep.” I would love to hold her all night, but she has a boyfriend, so I’m going to keep my distance. I take the blanket and cover her entire body.
She yawns again. “Nope, I’m not tired. I want some more hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, please,” she says as she hands me her cup.
“Extra, huh?” I laugh as I walk into the kitchen.
Her request for extra whipped cream reminds me of the whipped cream bikini on Varsity Blues. Man, I love that movie.
I turn around and see a smiling Tatum on my heels. She’s up to something, but I can’t figure out what.
“Okay, Ta, what are you going to do?” I set the whipped cream on the counter and pour more hot chocolate in our cups.
“Oh, nothing much. I just thought I would help you with that extra whip.” She giggles with a hand behind her back and a shit-eating grin.
I start heading to the counter to put the whipped cream in our cups, but the whipped cream is gone. I look at Tatum. She bursts out laughing, points the whip cream at my face, and sprays it all over me and the counter.
“Fight on now, little lady.” I tackle her to take the can, but taking the can is a lot harder than I expected since she has a tight grip on it and I’m covered in whip cream.
“No, no, you aren’t getting it. I only want extra whip on my hot chocolate, not me.” She holds the can in the air, a big smile on her face.
“Fine, I’ll give you extra my way.”
I rub my face all over hers, both of us laughing so hard it hurts. Then our eyes meet and something sparks. I lean my head forward, and as soon as our lips are getting ready to connect, my phone rings.
I move my head from hers, but her eyes are still locked on mine, our bodies against one another’s with whipped cream dripping from both of our faces. We don’t move. We just stare into one another’s eyes. Then she says, “Evan, shouldn’t you get that?”
“No, it’s okay. I will call them back later.” One of my hands is on her back and the other is on her waist. I want to kiss her so fucking bad, but it would be all wrong. I can’t, not no
w, not here, not like this, so I move my body off of hers slowly.
“Thanks, Tatum.” I laugh. “Now we’re all sticky.”
“Okay, let’s get cleaned up. Can we use the shower in the barn?”
“I’m sure we can. I will grab us some more clothes.”
I go back up to my room to get more clothes. What is she wanting to go to the barn for? That’s a weird request. There are three showers in the house. I grab what I need and run back down the steps.
We walk to the barn together. Once there, she takes the sprayer and starts washing her hair. Then she looks at me and starts spraying me. That little shit. This is why she wanted to come to the barn.
I take the sprayer from her and turn it on her until she’s soaked. She’s standing there, dripping wet, with whipped cream still on her face.
I can’t help myself. I have to kiss her. I grab her by her waist and pull her close to me. I cup the back of her head in my hand as I hold her back with the other. I look at her and see she’s licking her lips. She wants this as bad as I do.
I lean my head toward hers and run my thumb across her bottom lip. She leans into my hand. We’re so close, I can feel the heat from her breath. I finally touch her lips with mine.
God, she’s beautiful. I pull back and look at her again. Just then, she grabs my head with both hands and pushes her lips to mine. She slides her tongue between my lips. I run my tongue across hers. A small moan escapes her mouth as her grip on my head tightens. Then her body falls into mine and we kiss for what seems like hours. Finally, she pulls away with swollen lips and looks at me with heated eyes. I can see the lust and confusion.
“Evan, we should change and get back in the house. I’m freezing,” she says as she takes her shirt off. I turn away from her. I want her so fucking bad. That was the best kiss I have ever had.
After I change, we walk back in the house like nothing ever happened. She lies on the couch and I lie on the floor, but I can’t go to sleep after that kiss.
“Ta, you asleep?” I ask, but I get no answer. A couple minutes later, I fall asleep dreaming of the woman I think I’m falling for but can’t have.