by Delisa Lynn
“Well, you may just want to come home with me. Nikki is at your place with Brody. You know how the two of them are.”
“Oh hell, your place it is!”
We stop and get pizza. Then, back at her townhome, we watch a movie. Another chick flick. My phone starts ringing halfway through the movie. It’s Alyssa. I don’t know what the hell she wants.
“Do you need to take that?” Lila asks.
“No, it’s okay. Just Alyssa. I don’t want to talk to her.”
“Did you get a new phone?” she asks with a puzzled look.
“Uh, yeah.” I sigh. “Long story.”
She grabs my phone, turns it off, and throws it on the counter.
“Problem solved,” she says. “Now, let’s eat.”
I just laugh at her. We eat, laugh, and talk. I wish I could have met Lila before she started seeing Liam. She has so much love for that man. When she talks about him, you can see the love in her eyes.
“Evan, it’s late. Why don’t you stay? You can have my room.”
“Okay, but where will you sleep?” I ask, hoping she’ll sleep with me.
“The couch, silly man. I’ll get everything ready for you.” She walks into the bedroom. A few minutes later, she comes back out and says, “Okay, it’s all yours.”
I walk in and take my boots off. The first thing I notice is a bra laying on the bed. Oh nice, I definitely have to tease her about it.
“Missing something?” I say as I hold the bra between my fingers.
“Oh my gosh, give me that. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s okay, it’s your room.” I turn around, laughing. She walks out of the room and closes the door. I lie there, tossing and turning until I hear her open the door.
“Evan, you still awake?”
“I am. Everything okay?”
“Yes. Can I stay in here with you? Just to talk. I can’t sleep.”
She walks in the room and stands next to the bed. Hell yeah, she wants to sleep in the same bed with me. God, I love it. Play it cool.
“Of course. It is your bed, Lila.” I laugh and scoot over. She lies down next to me and starts talking about classes. Then she talks about how she misses her family and Addison. I take her hand in mine and hold it tightly. She does all the talking. I just lie there and listen.
***
I wake up to the sound of Nikki’s voice. She opens the door and backs out as soon as she sees us. Lila jumps up and tries to explain our innocence, but Nikki and Brody are laughing at her.
I walk out to see Brody smiling at me. “Good morning, bro,” I say as I grab some coffee.
“I’m sure it’s a good morning for you,” Brody says with a wink.
“Nope, nothing like that. Just a good night’s sleep with a beautiful gal.” I sip my coffee.
We’re all going out today. I need to go home and shower. I love spending time with everyone. It’s awkward knowing that Lila has a boyfriend, but I’m happy being her friend. Yes, I want more, but I’ve known that will never happen for a while now. I have all these mixed emotions and feelings for Tatum, who obviously will never feel the same way about me. She is too hung up on that goddamn punk.
I spend the day with my three friends. Something is going on with Nikki, and Lila isn’t saying anything. I know Brody can tell, but he hasn’t said anything either. We go to the movies, then bowling. Then we have the brilliant idea of going grocery shopping so Lila can cook us dinner. She’s making chili and cornbread. She’s a good cook. I just hope she can make a good old fashioned pot of chili.
***
Dinner is great. I have to give it to her, she pulled it off. When we get to the loft, Audrey comes looking for Zander. I’m not sure where he is, but she seems to get the wrong impression about Lila and me. She wants Tatum to be with me, but it’s been over two years and she isn’t leaving that jerk.
I’m so lost in thought, thinking about everything and everyone, that I hadn’t even noticed Lila is sitting next to me with her legs in my lap.
“Earth to Evan? You want to play some cards?” Brody says as he kicks my foot.
“Oh sure, whatever y’all want.” I move Lila’s legs to stand up. She makes a pouty face and says she was comfortable. I laugh as I walk in the kitchen to grab the cards.
“How about strip poker?” Brody says. Surprisingly, the girls agree. It’s kind of crazy how Lila loves Liam so much, but she wants to spend so much time with me. I know she has to feel something for me. I’m so confused. I thought moving here would change my life positively, but here I am, interested in two girls who both are very much in love with other men. Man, I need a fucking wake up call.
I laugh. “Damn, Brody. What the hell? Did you forget how to play poker?”
He’s now down to hardly any clothes. The girls are still fully dressed, and me? Well, I still have on most of my clothes.
“They’re just good poker players,” Brody says with a wink. Yeah, he’s letting them win so he can sit here in nothing but that fucking cowboy hat. I know how he works.
I’m a pretty good poker player. Luckily, by the time the game is over, I still have some clothes on. Lila goes home and Nikki stays with Brody. I go to my room. I’ve been writing some new lyrics I want to test out.
***
Lila and I have been hanging out and getting closer and closer every day. I’ve been trying to control my feelings for her ever since she told me about Liam, but I can’t. I thought I was content with being just her friend. Who the fuck am I kidding? I want her so goddamn bad. Seeing her every day is starting to get to me.
Spring break is getting ready to start. Nikki announced she is going back to Ohio and broke up with Brody. He is crushed, so Zander, Brody, and I are planning a “man trip.” We’re not sure where we’re going, but with us all being single, we need to get out. Zander has been sleeping on our couch for months, but Audrey needed a roommate and she asked him to move in with her. He knows, although she pretends to hate him that she’s in love with him.
“Hey, dude. What about Florida? We can drive or fly,” Zander says as he walks into my room. Brody mentioned Vegas, but I don’t want to go there. I just need to get away from here, have some drinks, and meet a nice, single lady. Hell, I just want to meet someone. That way, I can move on.
Brody walks in as Zander and I are discussing where we want to go. He sits down next to me and says that he heard Bryn is back in Utah. Like I give a flying fuck. I have nothing left to say to her. She took everything from me. That bitch broke my goddamn heart and didn’t even care.
“Let’s go to Utah,” I say. They all look at me like I’m crazy. I want to see my parents and a couple of friends.
Brody looks at me and says, “Because you’re hoping to see her, right?”
“Nope. I’ve no desire to talk to or even look at her.”
I pack my clothes. The three of us drive to Utah. My parents are so happy that I’ve finally come home. The word is that Bryn had been in town, but she already left. Zander’s phone keeps ringing. He’s being so secretive about it.
“Zander, who the hell keeps calling you?” I ask as we walk into the garage.
“Uh, it’s no one.” He lowers his head. “Just some, um, chick I hooked up with.”
“Dude, look at me! You didn’t, did you?”
He knows exactly what I’m talking about. I can’t believe him. He knows how much she likes him.
“I, um…fuck, I couldn’t help it. She’s pretty damn hot. It just fucking happened.” He runs his hands through his hair. I knew that it wouldn’t take long for him to get her in bed. That’s just Zander, but I think she’s more than a one-night relationship. He’s just being hush-hush about it.
We’re going to dinner with my parents and Brody’s family at one of the local family restaurants. Then we’re heading to the bar.
So far, I haven’t run into anyone, but I know it won’t take long. This town is so small, and if my mom told Mrs. Winters that I was going to be home, then ever
yone probably knows by now.
After dinner, we get ready and go to Ronnie’s, the local bar. My dad’s best friend owns it, so I’ve been coming here for years. It’s just a small honky-tonk bar. If you blink, you’ll miss it. It has maybe three pool tables and a couple arcade games.
I see Ronnie when I walk in and then I notice a girl I went to high school with. Hell no, that can’t be her. She was the biggest damn nerd and now she looks like a grown woman. I know she feels me staring at her. She walks over, smiles real big, and hugs me.
“I can’t believe it’s really you. I thought you would have left this shit hole town already,” I say to her as I take a swig of my beer.
She laughs. “Not everyone can be like you and Brody and go to New York City.” I see hurt in her eyes. Oh hell, I didn’t mean anything by it.
“Oh, Asia, you know I didn’t mean anything by that, right? Hell, I just figured, as smart as you are, you would have wanted to go to college some place.”
“Well, I wanted to at first, but I decided to stay here. You know she was here, don’t you?” Ah fuck, here we go.
“Yep. I don’t want to talk about her, okay? I’ve moved on and I’m sure she has as well.”
I ask Ronnie for another beer.
“I’m sorry, Evan. I know she hurt you. Hell, I haven’t talked to her either. I heard she lives in Tulsa and is married with a kid now.”
I feel like someone just stuck a knife in my gut. She had to kill our baby, but she can have one with someone else? I have to get out of here.
“It was good seeing you. If you ever make it to New York, look me up.”
I kiss her cheek and leave the bar. Zander must have seen me leaving because he follows me out. Brody is, of course, dancing with some chick. I guarantee he will go home with her. Hell, at this rate, I would go home with anyone.
I thought coming here could be good for me, but fuck was I so wrong. I’m already ready to get far away from here. Hell, if not for my parents, I would never come back here. I hate this fucking place. All these people are so goddamn nosy. Everyone knows everyone and no one changes, even after all this time.
Alone, I make the long drive to River Ends. It’s nothing but water and dirt. I used to come here all the time to think, and right now my mind is a whirlwind. I never signed up for all this. Girls are so fucking consuming, and it all started the day Brynlee ruined what I thought we had.
As I sit here and stare at the night sky, I wonder how our child would’ve looked if she’d kept him or her. Would they be more like me or her?
I realize how late it’s getting and that I should head back to my parents’ house. I wish I would’ve stayed my ass in New York.
Chapter Fourteen
Evan
After hanging out with my parents for a few more days, the guys and I headed back to New York. We’ve been back in New York for three days now. I called Lila this morning to see if she wants to have dinner. Fortunately, she said yes. I’ve missed her so much. I try not to, but hell, who the fuck wouldn’t miss someone they’ve been spending every day with?
I go to pick her up, assuming she won’t be in a good mood. Apparently, she hasn’t heard from Liam in months. I’m not sure if he’s injured or if he just can’t talk to her.
“Hey, handsome.” She kisses my cheek. See, this is what’s making it hard for me to control my feelings for her. She hugs me, kisses me, and holds my hands. I’ll never say anything because I don’t want her to stop, but she has to know that I’m a man and that shit turns me on. Just the scent of her makes me want to be inside of her.
“Hey there, yourself. You’re chipper today. Chipotle?” I ask, knowing damn well she’ll say yes. Other than Corner Café, Chipotle is all that girl will eat. Oh, and pizza.
“I missed you, and yes, Chipotle is good.”
She places her hand on mine. I wink at her. I want to push my lips onto hers, to taste that lip gloss she’s always wearing.
We eat and then go for a midnight walk. The city, with all the lights on the buildings, is beautiful at night. The air is fresh and comforting. I ask her questions about her future with Liam and about being a lawyer.
It’s getting late. I don’t want to take her back, but, after another hour, I do. I have a paper I need to work on. I’ve been putting work and school off because of how upset I’ve been about Lila, Bryn, and Tatum. I need to get back to work and do what’s best for me, what’s going to help my future.
Brody has been fucking every woman he can. I slam my bedroom door shut when I get home. I understand bringing a girl home to bang, but good God, he has fucked half of the girls at NYU. It seems like he brings home all the loud ones. I just don’t get it. He and Zander will pretty much fuck any girl that will let them. I guess I should be more like them, but I have a damn conscience. I can’t just stick my dick in every girl that looks my way.
I get on my laptop and start to do the research for my paper. I check my e-mail and see that I have several messages from Asia. What the hell does this girl want? I open the messages and see pictures of Bryn and some old guy. I slam my laptop shut. My phone starts ringing. What the fuck? Who the hell is calling me now?
I look at the screen and see Tatum’s number. I’m not sure if I want to answer it or not, so I send her to voicemail. Then, a few seconds later, it starts ringing again. Finally, after three calls, I answer.
“Yeah, Tatum. What’s up?”
“Evan, can you, umm…please, don’t tell anyone, but can you come get me? Please. I need you. I’m in Rochester and I need to leave before Thayer gets back.”
“Oh fuck, Ta. Are you okay? I’m on my way. Stay there and do not go back around him.”
She gives me the address and I leave Brody a note telling him I’ll be back later.
Tatum is at a hotel in Rochester. She went there with Thayer, and he got drunk and had been cussing her out and threatening her. It’s going to take me at least five hours to get there. I drive eighty to ninety miles an hour to get to her. Although I left that note, I decide to call Brody and tell him I’m going to be home late. I don’t want him to tell Zander anything. He doesn’t ask any questions. He probably still has that girl with him. This drive would have given me plenty of time to think if I hadn’t been so worried about Ta. I’ve begged her to leave him many times and she won’t.
“Tatum, it’s Evan! Open the damn door. Come on, let me in,” I yell. The door opens and I see blood on that beautiful face that I could look at all day. The blood is running down her cheek. She grabs me and starts hugging me. She smells like alcohol and blood.
“Jesus, Tatum. What the fuck did that bastard do to you? Where the fuck is he? I will rip his goddamn head off.” I’m so pissed, I’m almost in tears. I walk into the large, trashed hotel room and head straight for the bathroom, where I wet a washcloth and clean her face. She’s shaking so badly. There’s blood everywhere, in her hair, her clothes, and even her shoes. I finally find the cut above her eye and the one in the back of her head. That has to be why all the blood is in her hair.
“Let’s just go before he comes back. He will hurt us both. He is so jealous of you. We went to a wedding and he got mad because I said I was tired and was ready to go home. Then he just started cussing and hitting me. He left, but he will be back soon. We have to get out of here,” she says, her tiny voice shaking.
She grabs her things and I guide her out the door. Once we get in my car, she starts sobbing uncontrollably. I scoot her close to me and hold her in my arms. How the fuck can anyone hurt someone like this? He’s double her size.
“Tatum, where do you want to go? I can take you back with me to the city.”
“No. I…umm…stay with me tonight, please? Then take me to the airport and I will go back home. But please, you can’t tell anyone about this. I will not see Thayer again. I will tell him it’s over. Just hold me tonight, Evan. I need you.”
I can’t tell her no. I drive for a couple hours. Then we stop a couple towns over and get a hotel room
. He’s been calling her phone, but she never answers it. I try to make her eat, but she won’t. Her lip is swollen and her cheek is bruised.
“Do you need to go to the hospital, Ta?”
She looks at me like I’m crazy, then places her hand on my leg and says, “It’s been worse. I will be just fine.”
I feel like I can’t breathe. My fist balls up and my body cringes. I want to break every bone in that motherfucker’s body.
I get a blanket and pillow and lie on the sofa.
“No, I want you to hold me, please,” she says, tears running down her face. I want to hold her, but I also want to find Thayer and beat the shit out of him. I want him to look as bad as she does.
“Okay, baby. I will do whatever you want.” I place a finger under her chin, bringing her face up to look at mine. She turns away from me at first, but then she turns to me. I can see the tears in her eyes.
“Ta, promise me you will leave him. You can’t keep doing this. You said the last time was the last time. You can’t marry this man. He may kill you, babe.”
As I wipe away her tears, tears of my own fall. Seeing her like this really hurts. I feel like someone beat the hell out of me. I have no bruises on the outside, but the inside is full of them.
I kiss her bruised cheek and hold her in my arms. I lie down and she rests her fragile body on mine. I snuggle as close to her as I can. I notice the blood on the back of her pants. When it dawns on me what that could mean, I jump up in anger, holding both of her arms with my hands.
“Tatum, why is there blood on your pants? Did he force himself on you?”
She won’t look me in my eyes. She just shakes her head.
She chokes out a sob. “I didn’t want to have sex. It’s that time of the month. He insisted that we do it anyway. I begged him not to, and he did anyway. It’s not the first time. I’m used to it.”
“That motherfucker raped you, Tatum! He took advantage of you when you asked him not to,” I yell. I’m ready to find him and shove my foot far up his ass.